If Wizards Had Common Sense
I.
Harry stared at the letter in his hands, stuffed amidst other envelopes.
Mr H. Potter
The Cupboard under the Stairs
4Privet Drive
Little Whinging
Surrey
He frowned. 'No one ever sends letters to me… So how could anyone know my address right down to my cupboard? And…it's written in green ink?'
Flabbergasted, he glanced back at his oblivious relatives and thought of their reaction to this really freakish letter, considering their previous responses to freakishness of any kind.
"What they don't know… can't hurt them," he muttered to himself as he stuffed the letter into his pocket and hurriedly brought the other letters to the overweight ton of blubber, who grew increasingly agitated as he leafed through the bills and finally blew up at his favourite target when said target glanced at him uncertainly.
"GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM BOY!"
Scrambling back to his cupboard, the violent slam and metallic ringing of the lock hid Harry's gleeful, stifled laughter. Really, his uncle was too predictable. Now he was ensured at least an hour of privacy as he 'thought on his sins'.
He carefully opened the letter and glanced through, his eyes widening in disbelief.
HOGWARTS SCHOOL
ofWITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRYHeadmaster:Albus Dumbledore
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,
Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)Dear Mr. Potter,We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.Yours sincerely,Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress
The Dursleys had a lot of explaining to do.
Obviously, I don't own Harry Potter.