Angel, Afterthoughts and an Adoption

By: Carrie-Anne

Author's note: This is written in present day form with flashbacks…please follow closely. JIf you haven't read Trouble, Twins and a Triangle and then Homesick, Happiness and HOLY COW! yet ---it's recommended by me that you read 'em first! Thanks.

Prologue: In the Meantime…

I will be the answer at the end of the line
I will be there for you while you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance if you can't look down

If it takes my whole life, I won't break I won't bend
It'll all be worth it worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in this life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes a whole life, I won't break I won't bend
It'll all be worth it, worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
And when the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently in morning for the night has been unkind.

Answer by Sarah MacLachlan

A couple months had passed on since the death of Liliana MacKinney Mackay, and now the school trips were in full swing for the Wild Life Centre. This meant that Paul was constantly busy with the book keeping that he didn't seem to have time for the family. He buried himself up to his eyeballs in work, hardly ever slept at night, due to his insomnia, but still remained somewhat chipper even in the break of daylight.

It was early in the morning, as the frost glistened over the back lawn of the house as the nursery over looked the loch. Paul found himself when he couldn't sleep at night wandering into the nursery to watch Maeve and the twins sleep. He never set foot into the room of yellow wallpapered walls with 'pink and blue sheep' until Maeve had moved in. As Lexie made sure Maeve had her own place to sleep, and felt it was necessary to put her in with the twins at night. Considering the twins were now sleeping in toddler beds, she made sure Maeve made herself at home in of the vacant cribs.

Wayne and Jayne were still dozing away, as Wayne's whole body was under a fleece blanket on his bed. Paul had taken upon himself to tuck Jayne in again as she had allowed herself to hang her feet off the head of the bed. Yes, the little one slept in bed backwards. As he turned, Paul found Maeve wide awake. "Very early, little one, what are you doing up?" He noted 11 month old Minnie standing herself up in the crib as she glanced at him, as she had mastered the standing up skill, just days after Lili's passing. Maeve was quiet as a mouse. Paul still raised his finger to his lips as he lowered his hand to Minnie, her little fingers latched right on to his long forefinger, "Shhh."

He wasn't quite sure of what to do next, but Minnie sure knew as she extended her arms out to be picked up and held. Paul couldn't tell her "no", as he caved right in, while hosting her up by her hands and scooping the rest of her up by her bottom. Minnie resembled her father in the hair department, but she was a beautiful image of her mother. She had golden and wild curls everywhere on to of her head, beautiful cerulean eyes, bubbles for cheeks, petite little nose, and small smile, which then turned into a deep frown. Lexie had put her to bed in a pink fuzzy sleeper with feet. She was amazed that most of Jayne's clothes, 18months-sized, fit her perfect and snuggly. "Dada," Minnie whispered, which caught Paul off guard, but he forced himself to give off a beam as Minnie gurgled back.

"Um, yea," Paul whispered to her as he snatched the blanket out from the crib and wrapped her up in it like a Christmas present. He carried Maeve into the hall. Lexie woke early as she couldn't sleep in anymore since she had three little bodies to tend too. Lexie was too pooped to actually take the time out for herself. As sleeping in was a luxury she once had before children and now it was a luxury she couldn't afford.

Lexie encased in a robe with fuzzy slippers on her feet tip-toed out of the bedroom, hoping to not disturb Archie, as she assumed Minnie would be up at this hour and she was right. Only she was surprised to see Paul wandering towards her down the hall, with the hungry little caterpillar in tow. "Paul?"

"Sorry. I—I…" He cut himself off, actually feeling like he had been caught 'stealing' a cookie from a cookie jar. Only Maeve was one sweet little cookie and could be gobbled up at any moment…

"No, it's all right. She's hungry, I bet. Aren't ya lass?" Lexie went to over to Paul as she cued to him to hand Maeve over.

"Actually, I haven't had much family time with the madness of the Centre. I'd be delighted to help you down to the kitchen with her."

Lexie was taken back at first by Paul's simple gesture, and then she heard the twins starting to stir. "Paul, that's---"

"Go tend to Wayne and Jayne and just point us in the direction of a bottle and I'll tend to the rest." Paul smiled, shooing her on towards the nursery.

Lexie grinned back, after giving him an odd blank stare, "Thank-you."

"No need to thank me." He nodded his head and waved Minnie's hand to Lexie, "Bye bye Auntie Lexie."

"Refrigerator has a bottle for her all ready made up. Just heat it and feed her." Lexie nodded on, as Paul and Maeve made way down the steps to the front foyer, before traveling down the hallway and onto the kitchen.

Life at Glenbogle went slightly back to normal a couple weeks after Lili had been buried. However for Duncan, he didn't go on a day without thinking about her and sometimes he'd get so lost in thought about missing her that it depressed him. He continued to do 'Assistant Ghillie' duties along side Golly everyday. It was gaming season as Golly spent his afternoons scouting the lands for stags to shot and rabbits to feed the wolves. Duncan would tag-along with him, but he didn't act like himself. He didn't ask stupid questions, or cause disasters, which he was known for doing or crack many jokes, which he loved to do—be the 'Monarch' jester-- Golly could tell Duncan had changed.

"What's goin' on wit ya, son?" Golly and Duncan sat on a couple rocks over looking a stream somewhere on the Glenbogle Estate acreage. Duncan was lost in a sea of thought.

"Golly, I seem to have a dark cloud followin' over me head." Duncan boomed out, only for Golly to study his face intently. He could tell this had been bothering Duncan for quite sometime now.

"Dark cloud?"

"It keeps raining on me. I mean not a real rain shower, but ever since Lili passed on, I feel like I shouldn't have taken that turn I took with her years ago." Duncan slumped down and hung his head like he had failed the 'human' race as Golly would call him a 'daft idiot' and he was starting to feel like it was true.

"What brought this on?" Golly asked simply, only to follow up his own question with a reply, "You will move on after all of this, you think Yankee would have wanted you feelin' this way?"

"Golly, what would happen if I moved meself on?" Duncan asked a question instead of answering his dear relative. Golly studied him more, "You want to move on?"

"No, not exactly, well, maybe, Golly. Lil and I completely rushed into things. And I didn't exactly think about the consequences of being a father or husband. Aye, I thought of marriage, and kids, and a life, but it's a 'grown up' life." Duncan stared at Golly, hoping he was going to give him some point words of wisdom.

Golly didn't like where this conversation was going. He dropped his own head, glanced at the babbling brook before them, and then turned to Duncan. "This is about Molly's friend in New Zealand isn't it? This is about that job offer an' she suggested it to you." 'After I told her not too' Golly's mind called out, he was afraid of this…he didn't think Duncan was making the right choice for himself if he took on the job at a vineyard in New Zealand.

Golly's thoughts went to his fiancée, the love of his life, Molly. They had only been engaged for two months, maybe three, and were in no real hurry to get married right away. Duncan, looking like a little kid who knew he had done something wrong and it was now time to fess up to it, nodded his head.

Golly sat there, knowing Duncan was hoping for advice that would push him into the direction of taking that job. "I can't tell you what to do."

"Golly, I'm not asking---?"

"Then what's with the 'have to move on business?' You have a wee daughter, Duncan, ye're her father, and you have to make the decisions for the both of you." Golly stood himself up from the rock, prepared to walk away, but Duncan like a little lost puppy dog continued to nip at his heels. As they both continued to roam the woods, in search of rabbits to hunt.

"Golly, oh c'mon, I'm not sure about leaving Min, I just---?" Duncan trailed behind him. Golly finally stopped walking, as he turned around to face his relative. He spoke low and evenly, as Duncan gulped, he could tell Golly wasn't pleased with what Duncan was considering.

"Let me fill you in on something, you leave her, and you will regret it one day, am I perfectly clear?" Golly picked up the pace again as Duncan spoke up, "Golly, I just don't think I'm cut out for fatherhood. I wasn't cut out being a husband, I mean…"

Golly stopped his stride, heaved a sigh, "Ye're beyond daft, Duncan, if you feel that Yankee's death was yer fault. If you weren't so sure about marrying her, then why did you?"

"It--tt seemed like the next logical step, Gol." Duncan stood there staring at Golly for some kind of reassurance. A sign, like a traffic light flashing green, telling you to continue on, instead Duncan got a yellow light for caution…

"Duncan, you don't marry because it's the next logical step, you marry because you love the person with your whole heart. Ya created a child, son, and when you bring a child into the world, it's a lot of responsibility. I thought you knew about this all ready?" Golly responded frustrated, shaking his head again in disbelief, "Grown ups, Duncan, do grown up things, be one."

"Golly, I'm tryin' to make a decision here," as Duncan made an irritated face and rolled his eyes.

"There's no use on tryin' when yer mind should all ready be made up." Golly instantly informed, as his own mind shifted back to his life. Especially during his first year working at Glenbogle, back to Jess, his daughter and Alison, Jess's mother, whom he had wanted for a wife. Golly's memories were stored in a book in the back of his mind and he rarely allowed himself to open it, read it, and to back to it for reference, but everything that Duncan was saying, made him open the book of his past anyway.

"Och, me gets it now, this isn't about me. It's about a reflection of seeing you in me, zillions of years down the road, isn't it?" Duncan investigated, still walking behind Golly as they finally made way to a trail, a path which would eventually lead them to Golly's cabin.

"I dun no what ye're talkin' about, Duncan." Golly modestly denied, but Duncan wouldn't let it go.

"It's not gibberish, Gol, it's me life, me tryin' to do what's right."

"Then go on, Duncan or stay here, I'm just tellin' you I can't make those decisions for ya." Golly climbed the steps to his porch and entered the cabin with his rifle in tow. He left Duncan standing there with more thoughts swimming around in his mind. If he continued to think, he'd for sure drown in those inklings.

Molly biked down the path, as she was on her way to visit Golly, when she caught sight of Duncan. "Duncan, are you busy?" She smiled as she pedaled herself over to him and climbed off the bike seat, before setting herself on the ground.

"Not really, Molly. I mean, Hello Molly. How do you do?" Duncan stared at the door of the cabin, and pushed Golly's negative comments about him considering leaving Glenbogle out of his head.

"Just dandy, Duncan. Are you all right? Perhaps you'd like to come inside? I'm sure Golly would make tea." Molly was oblivious to the conversation that had taken place between the men.

"Me still ponderin' that job, Molly."

"Well, good, I'm sure Donald would be happy with your help down on his vineyard. I told Golly it looked promising for you." Molly smiled, Duncan just gave a slight nod of his head, as if he wanted to escape and take some time to be on his own.

"Molly, no tea, I must get to feedin' da wolves." Duncan smartly remarked, before walking up to her.

"Don't take too long with your answer for Donald, Duncan. I told him you'd have a decision in a couple days." Molly winked, as Duncan gave another nod of his head and strolled on. Molly rolled the bike up to the cabin, before she stuck out her foot and swung the kick stand down. With a couple steps up, she was on the porch of the cabin as she gave a knock to the door, waiting for Golly to answer. She had her own thoughts to sort out, as Golly opened the cabin door, "Molly."

"I came down to see if you were interested in dinner." Golly gave her a sweet kiss on her cheeks, and beamed, "Of course I am. What's the reason for it?"

"Do we need a reason to have dinner together? If I'm going to be your wife, I'd---?" Golly didn't let Molly finish her sentence as he interrupted her, feeling stupid for asking her that question anyway, "Sorry Molly. I had--?"

"Chat with Duncan? What did he say to you? Or you to him? Was it about that marvelous job offer? I'm excited for him, you know, I think it would give him a chance to live again." Molly sat herself down on Golly's easy chair. Golly was in the middle of fixing them both cups of tea as he stood in the kitchen in front of the range, putting a full kettle of water on.

"Molly, we talked about this last night, I---?"

"I know we did, you're still not keen on that idea, are you?" Molly spoke quietly as she could tell the whole idea of Duncan leaving, seemed to still bother her fiancé.

"I'm not sure I still like the idea. He's planning on leaving not just Glenbogle but running from his fatherly duties." Golly hinted as Molly's face turned pensive, as she thought of a way to reply to Golly.

"It's only six months, Golly. It would give him time to get on with his life, and give him some sort of a new beginning once he came back to Glenbogle. Lexie already offered to tend to the child."

"Molly, do you understand what it is yer suggesting?"

"I'm simply trying to help a dear friend out, Golly. Duncan lost his wife, and I know what it was like after the death of Hector. I took my own journey and I believe Duncan has a right to take his own journey too."

"By leaving his responsibilities? Ye're catering to his puerile needs isn't going to push him to grow up and come back here 'refreshed'." Golly debated, as Molly sat there bewildered.

"Tell me, Golly, what is going on in your mind? You used to want to help him out and suddenly now you're not in the least big on it, why?" Molly suggested, with a motherly tone and Golly picked right up on it.

"Molly, Duncan running away isn't going to solve his issues with Lili's death and you know this. I'm all for helping him out as he's like a son to me but he's doing the wrong thing by letting Minnie grow up without a father. You know what he's capable of, look at the turn his marriage took just a day before Lili died."

"You're covering something up. It's Alison, its Jess…you're remembering what happened to you before…"

"I am not mirroring myself in Duncan. He simply asked me what I thought about him going and then I told him he's on his own. His decision to make and not mine to advise."

"However you advised him anyway without telling him the reason behind it." Molly remarked cleverly. She knew exactly the inner makings of Golly as he he'd throw caution, give a red flag warning and then close himself up from explaining it.

"Molly, I'm not trying to upset you." Golly parked himself beside her and captured her with his arm, resting it on her shoulders. "I know you have this wonderful helping people trait and I so support it. I just don't think helping Duncan running away will solve anything."

"I'm sorry, Golly. I just feel he should have the right to go if he needs too. He's suffering here, and I don't see him getting much better. He walks around down in the dumps, like his life blew up, which it did. Perhaps, he and Lili weren't ready to be married, perhaps if she had lived she would have returned to America with Minnie. We don't know this and we'll never know it. Just I know he loves Glenbogle, and needs to find his inner peace again. I just want to give him aide, and help him pick up pieces. He has to work on himself first, before he can smile on again and I thought you agreed with me about this last night." Molly said in a small bout of despair.

"There, there." Golly snuggled himself closer to Molly, feeling bad for upsetting her since he knew she meant well, especially as far as Duncan was concerned. He then released her as the kettle started whistling and steam arose up from the spout, as an indication that tea was ready.

Paul made way down to the kitchen with Minnie in his arms. He walked over to the refrigerator and tugged out a bottle, popped off the cap, unscrewed the top and then placed it in the microwave. He didn't know how long to put it on for, so he carefully punched in 30 seconds. Minnie let out an impatient wail, because she wanted that bottle and very badly.

"Shh, hush-a by, bottle will be ready shortly." He bounced her lightly as the microwave let out a 'Ding I'm ready!' Paul pushed the door open, pulled out the bottle. He finagled the top and nipple back on, screwed the bottle back together and then with a huge proud of himself beam, handed it over to Minnie. She snagged it away from him with her little hands, stuck the bottle in her mouth and started to feed herself. "My, aren't you a big lady?" He chuckled in delight, while holding onto her. He carried her out of the kitchen, down the hall and to the study where he checked yesterday's pile of mail. He sorted out bills, set the invoices to the side, and passed a postcard with 'Auckland, New Zealand' printed on it. Before placing a hand on a box, he noticed who it was from, and replied to Minnie, "Let's open this up, shall we?"

He sat himself down in the high back chair as Minnie continued to drink the bottle of warmed formula down. Once they were comfortable, he opened the package and pulled out a snapshot of Duncan with a silly face, wide eyes and funny but crooked grin, as the photo looked like it had been taken by himself. It was slanted to the right and on the back printed in Duncan's hand scrawl was: "Dada loves Minnie Mouse and misses you."

Minnie didn't show much of a reaction to the person in the photo. She was much more interested in photo itself as she held the bottle in one hand and tried to touch the photo with her other. "You know that's Dada, right?"

He continued to open the box up and pulled out a strange looking wingless bird? Paul read the tag as it was a Kiwi. Not an alive Kiwi bird, but a brown furry, yellow long beaked stuffed animal Kiwi with a yellow bow and a tag around it's neck saying, "Ye're stand in Dada, lovebug."

Minnie continued to suck away on her bottle, reached one hand out to the furry critter to feel it, as Paul let her take the cuddly toy, and opened the letter.

Hello Poem to Minnie (and others---Okay, Lex, if you reading this to her, it's to you too):


Writing you lovebug

Hoping ye're well

Snuggles and snoggles

Can't you tell?

Homesick, starting to feel blue

Oh how I miss you

Be with you soon.

Love you to the moon, and back, Dada.

Lexie-Thank-you for the photograph. I miss everyone. Things are going quite well here, but it just isn't the same with out you to chat with. I spent my longest day every harvesting a crop of grapes, and then spent the night serving people drinks at the winery. I'm enclosing money for Minnie and it should help with formula, clothing, and something for her. I'll be in touch soon. Give my best to Golly as I miss the stag huntin'

Duncan.

Paul closed up the letter, gave Minnie a hug, as she sat there, looking intently at the letter and trying to crumple the corners of the stationary her father used with her hands. He stared at the toy, and its note. He felt awkward, but only until Lexie strolled into the study with Jayne in her arms. Wayne 'wrecked havoc' in the sitting turned play room. He was too busy playing with "Bob the Builder and his friends" plastic figures, to even want breakfast.

Duncan wandered back to the house with the dilemma of 'to leave or not to leave' on his mind. He never did anything spectacular with his life, or so he thought. Here's his chance to do something worthy, other than being a head ranger of the estate. He was offered a manager/worker position at a vineyard. This is a big deal or so Molly kept telling him over and over again. He remembered years ago standing before Lexie with a simple smile and replied, "And he agrees that I don't belong here. Reckons I should move to Glasgow, find myself" and she just followed it up with, "What if you're not there when you get there?!" Her statement held true, what if he wasn't in New Zealand when he got there? Would his travel to the other side of the earth seem just as much as a waste of complete time? Was he off to find himself? He thought he had with Lili. He knew he had found himself with her and also Minnie, as he must have been sure about it. However, his doubt set in as the sad memories clouded his mind. Maybe being down in the dumps, feeling like a failure would push him on to his right 'self' path.

"Wayne!" Lexie hollered as she chased after him on the lawn. He was running off with Jayne's sippy cup, shouting, "Drink! Drink!" Lexie then spoke up, "Jayne! No!" She tried to chase after her in the other direction. Jayne full of giggles, quick on her little feet, had climbed out of the sand box which Golly and Duncan had built for the twins over the summer and was voyaging towards the loch.

Duncan 'being the hero' that he is, swooped in and snagged Jayne, while she let out a ferocious giggle at being scooped up, "An' where do ya think yer going little missy?"

Minnie sat on the lawn in a wheel barrow with a pink dotted white bonnet on her head. She climbed out too, by tipping the wheel barrow over and started to excitedly crawl towards her father, with a big grin. Lexie replied with a laugh, "Oh no! She's loose too! Catch her, Dunc!"

"Lex, where's Megan off to today?" Duncan asked out of breath walking with Jayne and Wayne in his hands as Lexie walked over to the 'escaped' Minnie.

"I gave her a day off, but now I'm not so sure about this." Lexie shrugged with a huge laugh. Lexie then picked up Minnie and spoke aloud, "Yer not going anywhere either there, little miss."

"Nah, ye're doing just fine." Duncan picked up Wayne too as he also giggled and then replied, "Down. Down."

Duncan added smartly, "Och no, down fer ya, until…" He plopped Wayne back down into the sand box and snagged Jayne's sippy cup back as Lexie handed Wayne his cup. Jayne busied herself once again with a toy car, fascinated by the wheels, as her little fingers spun the wheels 'round and 'round, before Wayne claimed the car, saying, "Mine. Mine. Mine."

"Thanks." Lexie sat down on the side of the sand box with Minnie now in her arms. Minnie was getting restless and wanted to be put down in the box too so she could explore it. However, exploration to Maeve was putting sand in her mouth and Lexie shaking her head no, as Duncan handed over a shovel to his not quite a year old daughter. Minnie's little hands took the shovel out her father's hands as he instructed her, "Ya dig with the sand, lovebug, not devour it."

Maeve then let out an upset squeal, as Wayne plucked the shovel out of her hands and said, "Mine. Mine. Mine." Jayne retorted with, "No! No! No!" She grabbed the car back from her brother after he dropped it when going for the shovel from his cousin's hands. Jayne started playing with the white wheels again.

Lexie laughed, "If 18 months is this crazy, then I'm afraid of what they'll do once they are two."

Duncan smiled, "Nah, two's easy, as me were two once, it's 34 that's not." Duncan's smile faded, as Lexie got the hint that something was on his mind.

"Ye're still thinking about that job offer aren't you?" Lexie could tell Duncan was still in deep thought and feeling more lost about what to do. Lexie knew all about Molly's friend's job offer. Apparently Molly had befriended a man named Donald on her travel to Africa around the time Lexie and Archie wed. Donald and Molly wrote to each other once and awhile. He had suggestions about finding someone to help run his vineyard and take care of customers in his winery, so Molly of course, suggested a possibility…being Duncan.

"I wanna make something of myself, Lex. I love it here. I couldn't imagine leaving, but I want to---?"

"Do something for you and Minnie?"

"Lexie, since day one, I've thought long an' hard 'bout findin' meself."

"I've asked ya ova an' ova again, "What if ye're not there when you get there?" Lexie gave Duncan a wink, "Where's my answer…you're sittin' here before me!" She remembered the whole conversation. "Look, I mentioned to you taking on Minnie so you could go. I think the job would be good for you. Glenbogle isn't going anywhere. Your roots are here, especially while this little flower is. Do you think Lili would want you here, down on yerself, and turning down a great opportunity to get on with your life?"

"Aye, Dun no. I mean you and boss almost up and transplanted to America a couple weeks ago. Look how it ended, with him coming back home." Duncan still referred to Archie as 'boss.' Even though, Archie kept telling him to, "Just call me by my name, Duncan' and Duncan would reply, "Aye right-o boss." Archie would give him a look of pure exasperation as if he couldn't win the 'not to call me boss' debate with Duncan.

"He came home because he realized he was meant to stay here with me and the twins." Lexie explained lightly.

"Ya dun no how lucky ya are."

"I know you're just as lucky, if not more. Go Duncan."

"Does boss know about me leaving her in your care for six months?"

Lexie paused, she hadn't exactly talked to her husband about the matter of tending to Minnie, but she would, "No, he doesn't but he will."

"Lex, what if boss doesn't want me leaving her here with you?"

"Leave it to me. You go tell Molly you want that job offer for those months and then go off on your journey that you've been talking about for eons and find yerself." Lexie reassured him. "Just make sure you write once and awhile." Lexie chuckled warmly and Duncan caught on.

"Golly doesant want me to go." Duncan hung his head, then looked up at her, as he still had a seriously tired look on his face. Lexie could tell everything here was taking its toll on him, losing her cousin was the last straw, last push to help him make a life altering decision. He still wasn't sleeping at night as the look of his face gave it all away.

"I don't want ya to go either, but I insist ya do." Lexie's facial expression was still warm, open and friendly before joking aloud, "You can come back, as they did invent return airplane tickets for that purpose."

Duncan now had two people supporting his decision to go as he mentioned his old mate once again, "I don't understand what's going on with Gol."

"Duncan, Golly has been through so much of late, with the diabetes and all. He's just worried wistfully 'bout his health and with Molly and Golly's wedding plans, whenever that will happen. I'm sure he's happy to see you make a decision for yourself too." Lexie soothed motherly, something that Duncan, as child like as he is, always looked for from her.

"You've been friends for so long with him that your friendship will continue even if you're on the other side of the planet."

"Think so?"

"Positively, know so." The pair of best friends sat there on the sides of the sand box surrounded by their children. Duncan noting that Lexie was right, he could return, found himself making up his mind instantly.

"Just see to it that boss is okay with Minnie staying here, before me goes." Duncan added soundly, while scooping up Minnie into his arms and placing her on his kilted lap.

"I will. I'll have a long chat with him once he gets back from Inverness with Paul."

"What's that silly thing?" Lexie laughed as she noted Paul and Minnie sitting in the study. She had heard his voice saying something to someone, and assumed it was Paul talking on the phone, but instead she found Minnie and Paul reading Duncan's letter.

"Minnie's stand in father, until the real one gets back," Paul commented wisely actually flashing a smile which caught Lexie off guard, while showing her the cuddle toy.

"Yer kiddin' me? That's not a life sized Duncan and Paul, is that a smile I see before me?" Lexie joked sparkly, but he didn't understand her humor or agree with Duncan leaving either many weeks ago. He saw Golly's reason from a 'missing father/child' point of view. Paul's smile faded into a frown, which prompted Lexie's face to become stern.

"Oh Paul, snap out of it. It was a joke." Lexie chirped, as she walked into the room and set Jayne down before taking Minnie up into her arms from him.

"I know it was. I'm just not sure about him being away this long. What if he doesn't come back?"

"He'll come back. He told me that he'd be back. What did the letter say? Did it tell you different? He's been there for weeks now. "

"Eight weeks and he finally sent her a present." Paul spoke pessimistically with a smirk on his face.

"He probably couldn't afford to mail it to her right away or he was really busy. He sent her stuff last week, clothes…"

"He sent money again. Now explain to me how money fits so well, better than being here with his child and showing her love?" Paul remarked, but he had been holding this in for quite some time about Duncan's time away. "We can't exactly hold his job for much longer, or have me continue to fill in."

"Is this what it's about? You're upset that Duncan's time away is costing us money?"

"No, his time 'finding himself' is costing Maeve love." Paul stated firmly and stood up from the high back chair, just as Archie was entering the study.

"I thought I heard voices, mornin' to the both of you." Archie came up behind his wife as Lexie turned to snuggle up to him as he kissed her soulfully, cheerfully, and both willingly in front of Paul. Minnie let out another squeal, this time of joy, as her smile beamed bright at Archie's arrival. His face lit up like a Christmas tree at the innocent and angelic giggling as he placed the tip of his finger on Maeve's nose and got another smile out of her, a wide mouthed toothy grin. Paul getting uncomfortable decided it was time to head to the Centre to get the day ready for the new school group. Archie stopped him from leaving the room.

"Are you all right, Paul?" Archie asked hoping that Paul would answer him.

"I was having a conversation with yer wife about finding another suitable 'head ranger' while Duncan is off gallivanting around the world." Paul snickered, as Lexie stiffened while in Archie's one arm embrace. He could tell Lexie was about interject, as her mouth gaped, her posture shifted, and she glared at her brother in law, "No, you were too busy criticizing Duncan and how he left Minnie here in our care."

"Is this true, Paul?" Archie asked out of curiosity, as he lifted a brow at his brother.

Paul paused for a moment, before choosing his words carefully, "I have other issues, Archie, nothing to do with Duncan or Minnie…"

Archie turned to Lexie giving her a look of 'excuse us for just one moment, please' as Lexie picked up on Archie's request. Normally she would object to leaving the room and being 'bossed about,' but Jayne took off for the sitting area so she could play with her younger brother. "I'll be right back." Lexie chanted with Minnie still in her arms.

"What is going on with you?" Archie now cornered Paul once they were alone. "You hardly sleep at night, you watch over the children like hawks at, god knows what hour, and then you insult my wife's decision to take care of her only cousin's child?"

"I don't understand why I wasn't consulted when Lexie took on tending for Maeve."

"Because it wasn't your choice or mine, as it was Lexie's."

"Maeve's father took off on her and you just allowed him to leave? What kind of a father leaves their child?"

Archie sat at the desk in the study as he tried to balance some books, he heard her footsteps, as she voyaged into the room and then was about to voyage out, before he called out to her, "Lex?"

"Yes Arch." She rung her hands, and then twisted her fingers together. Archie immediately noticed her body language. She was acting like she had to talk to him urgently without coming out and saying it.

"You all right?"

"I wasn't going to disturb you, and I could come back later." Lexie answered peculiarly.

"No, I'm good. You want something from me?"

"Aye, er-no, aye." Archie gave her 'a funny- wondering what was on her mind- making her so indecisive' look, before tuning into her more.

"Okay?" He asked quietly, while standing up from the desk and strolling towards her as his hands reached out to her shoulders while he gave them a rub.

"I'm fine, Arch. I'm rackin' my brain over Minnie." Lexie spoke unevenly, as Archie carted her towards the yellow velvet high back sofa and sat down beside her.

"Okay," As his brows lifted and then dropped, "Why?"

"I really want to help out Duncan." She spoke up again, while fiddling with her hands once again.

"We all want to help Duncan and Minnie out right now, Alexandra. They're going through a tough time with Lili's passing. Where's this conversation leading us too?" Archie probed with curiosity.

"Good, so you dun mind if we take Min in for a little while, do ya?" She made her request clear and also out of the blue.

"Why? Where's Duncan going?" Archie added, like he was the last to know about Duncan's pending job offer.

"Um," Lexie paused, as Archie waited what seemed like an eternity for a reply. "Molly's friend Donald offered him a job down on his vineyard in New Zealand."

Archie thought carefully his answer, before saying, "My mother doesn't have any friends named Donald."

"Yes, she does. She met a man named Donald on her trip to Africa and so she's been in touch with him ever since," Lexie studied Archie's face, hoping worry wouldn't also appear, but it did.

"Well, we can't let Duncan go. I'd have to talk to mother. This isn't a good time for us to be switching staff, Lexie." Archie came up with excuses hiding what he was really trying to say.

"No, Arch, we can let him go. He doesn't have a holiday during the year, and it would do him so much good to move on."

"Moving on requires leaving his barely one year old daughter with us?" Archie asked, but he wasn't completely objecting her suggestion.

"Archie, I'd take on Minnie, she'd be my responsibility until Duncan returned. I'm here all the time with the twins. Ewan is going to take the job as cook and well, I'd still employ Megan to help me with the children during the day. It could work."

"You've put a lot of thought into this, I see."

"Yes, I have. Arch, Minnie is my family. My father is off somewhere—nor do I care where he is, my mother and her boyfriend are never around-always on some world class trip. Arch, Lili was the only person, who I considered as real family and now that she's gone…Minnie's the one who I have left."

"You have me, and you have Jayne and Wayne." Archie corrected her.

"That's different. Minnie needs a home and Glenbogle's been her home since day one."

Archie sat there, as he stretched his arms out, gave a slight sigh and rubbed the back of his head, as Lexie waited for an answer, "I understand your dire need for family Lexie. I'm so in love with you because of your support of Minnie and Duncan. I could consider it, Lex, but you'd have to take care of her. I mean I could help on weekends maybe, but things are busy here and tight."

"Which is why Duncan should go to New Zealand, it would save on some of the finances, until he came back."

"Who'd pull his duty around here?"

"Paul could."

"I'd have to ask him Lexie."

"Arch, you're the laird, you make those decisions, not just me or Paul."

"I know but Lex, I told Paul specifically we'd work together with running the place. I mean…"

"Archie, please?" Lexie glanced at him with warm calm blue eyes, hoping and wishing that he would consider taking care of Maeve.

"All right. I agree. I just wish I had been told before hand." Archie replied sensibly.

"I know, but its Minnie." Lexie smiled, as she gathered her husband into her arms, "I kinda want to see what it's like with three little ones around here."

"Oh really?" Archie spoke up, pulling his wife onto his lap before concluding, "And why's that?"

"Because Mr. Laird, I'd like another baby one day."

Archie couldn't believe his ears, because when they first talked about children, Lexie went on and on about how she wasn't ready for them. And then they came back from their honeymoon pregnant with the twins and it made them both realize they were ready for children together as a team. Now this new 'finding' made him even more curious, "So you're saying you want to take on Minnie as a family science project?"

"No, Arch." Lexie rolled her eyes as he gave out a laugh, "I want a chance to see what it's like with three kids."

"Just in case we want 2.5 children?"

"Well, you do want one more right?" Lexie's eyes twinkled with her question, like she was trying very hard to dazzle Archie and it was working.

"Maybe, it requires some convincing." He spoke low, before drawing her closer to him, as her head tipped down and his head tipped upwards, their noses criss-crossed as their lips brushed for a deep kiss. "Hmmm…lots of that convincing…"

"Need more?" She giggled sweetly, as she drew him in again for another intense lip lock.

"You're speaking like a stranger left us Minnie." Lizzie replied evenly as she walked into the study to look at her brothers after over hearing Paul gripping about Minnie being left at Glenbogle to be looked after while Duncan was away.

Lizzie had Martha ready for school and herself dressed up in a purple business suit, a bright floral scarf around her neck, black slacks and flats on her feet. She loved having Minnie there at the house and she spent most of her evenings giving Lexie a break from tending to the almost toddler.

"Mornin' Lizzie," Paul gave a nod of his head like she had come into the room just on time, "Where's Martha?"

"I drove her to school and now I'm off to Mother's shop because there's a reporter coming to do an article on the success of the business. How do I look? Pressed and dressed enough for a photograph in a magazine?" Lizzie's lips turned up ward as she did a 'catwalk' turn and then let out a laugh.

"You look very pretty." Paul complimented, as Archie stood there before adding a pun, "One eyed people eater pretty."

"I'm not a monster, Arch." Lizzie retorted, as another chuckle escaped her lips. Archie stared at his sister proudly because she had come a long way with trying to set up a 'stable' life for her and Martha. She was no longer on depression medication and she only saw a therapist once every few weeks as a check in. Lizzie stopped drinking in large amounts and in some case, 'grew up,' and she took her job as a manager at Molly's antique and painting shop seriously.

"Who's doing the interview at mother's shop?" Archie questioned, while glancing at his sister.

"Someone from Highlander Magazine, apparently she's good with a pen and she's related to Margaret Thatcher," Lizzie beamed, "I'm so excited! I'm hoping to offer her tea while she conducts the interview!"

"Margaret Thatcher?" Another question posed, only this time from Paul.

"It's not Carol though." Lizzie spoke aloud about the former Prime Minster's journalist daughter before adding, "I'm off to the shop!" As Lizzie scooted out of the room as you could hear the clickity-clack of her flats on her feet.

Paul stood there in deep thought as Archie snapped his fingers trying to get his attention. "Paul?"

Paul just stared out in space blankly as his mind compared notes between his old hidden feelings for someone of his past and Lizzie's words, 'Magazine, Margaret Thatcher, not Carol…'

"You're rather deep in thought? Care to share or are you going to be selfish about it?" Archie spoke again, trying to break into Paul's inklings. Paul avoided Archie and walked out of the room to chat with his sister again. He tried to catch up with her, only he was too late, as Lizzie waved at Paul and drove away in Molly's car. Paul then set his thoughts and feelings out of his mind about the shop interviewer and decided he had work to do.

The gravesite sat on a small grassy knoll with the other headstones, as Duncan bent down, while hanging his head before it, using his fingers to trace out the stone carved words, Liliana MacKinney MacKay 1975-2005, mother, wife and friend. He was silent, not quite sure of where to begin. Lexie took Maeve with her to the village so he could go running. He kept going and going, pacing himself in his joggers' sweats and jumper until his feet stopped at the grave. Every time he would go out jogging he'd end up at the cemetery, thinking about her, wishing she were standing right before him so he could tell her his day, if it was good, if it was bad, the silly things 'lovebug' had done. He had adopted Lili's pet name for Maeve, not just because he missed hearing her voice, but because he missed the smile that went along with it. Her lips would curl upwards and she'd say out loud, "Dada and Mum love you, lovebug."

In the distance stood Golly, as he observed his dear friend, in his hands was a Navy Blue cap, which he kept folding over and over. He worried about Duncan's fate as he had never witnessed such a transformation in him, one day happy, cheerful and cheeky and the next hitting rock bottom, expressionless, and just plain lost. He felt awful for not supporting his 'well-being' and he understood that Molly was only trying to help. She meant well, very well. Golly nodded his own head towards the ground, as his eyes bounced back to look at Duncan.

It was only one hour ago
It was all so different then
Nothing yet has really sunk in
Looks like it always did
This flesh and bone
It's just the way that we are tied in
But there's no one home
I grieve...
for you
You leave...
Me

Duncan's fingers came to a stop, as they had run out of stone written letters to touch. He heaved a heavy sigh, choked back a few tears, and blew out a breath. His hidden emotions for losing his wife rose to the surface.

"Not quite sure if yer ready to hear this or not, Molly came up to me last week. She has this friend named Donald who she met on her holiday to Africa over a year ago…he's got some work for me. Only thing is, it's in New Zealand. It means leaving Maeve in Lex's care. She thinks you wouldn't mind me going for a few months to help clear me noggin'…Me not sure I can leave you or Min, Lil.

I miss you so much and it's not fair that ye're down there, or way up there and not here right beside me. How exactly do I push meself to live my life on? I'm sure ya would be proud, Minnie, she's really tryin' to stand on her own. She gets this serious look of concentration, like you would, when we'd read at night. She's a 24 hour reminder of ya, Lil. I can't seem to move on. There are days when I wish it were me who went for that medicine and not you. I wish it was me who died and not you."

So hard to move on
Still loving what's gone
Said life carries on...
Carries on and on and on...
And on
The news that truly shocks
is the empty, empty page
While the final rattle rocks
Its empty, empty cage...
And I can't handle this
I grieve...
For you
You leave...
Me

Golly wandered slowly down the path with the hat in his hands. He entered the cemetery, as he crept up behind Duncan. At first Duncan didn't turn around, but he could sense he wasn't alone. He kept mulling over the job offer, the chance to live his life. Golly spoke evenly, "I thought I'd see ya here. I've somethin' for you."

Duncan sniffed, wiped his eyes with his hands and managed to stand himself up. Golly held out a cap as his eyes scanned the red emblem on the front.

Lili searched the croft high and lo for her father's baseball cap, as she got down on her hands and knees and lowered herself to her side, glancing under the bedside, before shouting out, "Ah-ha!" as her hands latched onto the hat and pulled it up. She struggled to stand, but she did it within moments later.

At first, Duncan thought something was wrong with her when she yelled out loud, "They made it! They made it!" She ran out of the bedroom of the croft with her cap on her head and sat back down in front of the lap top. It was in the middle of the fall and she was almost eight months along with her pregnancy and Duncan still wasn't sure of what to make of her hormones. She was one minute overwhelmed with joy, the next minute tears flowed down her cheeks like Glen Roy!

"Aye-who?" He asked weirded out, wondering if asking her was such a novel idea.

"The Boston Red Sox, finally made it to the World Series and won! 4-1! YES! YES! The curse was reversed!" She stood up again and danced in place, before rubbing her tummy and replying, "Hear that baby? They finally made it considering it was 86 years later!"

"Red Sox- eh?"

"Baseball, Dunc! Baseball—you remember, don't ya?!" As she beamed proudly while still dancing in place, just as the croft door opened and Golly stepped inside as Lili stopped in her tracks when Duncan, scanned her face, "Okay? Baby?"

"No. You cannot enter this croft wearing that hat, I forbid you!" She walked over to Golly and snatched his cap off his head and replaced it with hers, before flying the New York Yankees cap like a Frisbee onto the sofa. Golly glanced at her funny and adjusted the cap, "Yankee, what's gotten into you?"

"Yankees are rivals to the Red Sox, you cannot wear that hat anymore! Here, you will wear mine! You're now a converted Red Sox fan…come on Golly, you can say it with me---recovering Yankee…I've been in love with the Red Sox since I was a little girl. I could be your baseball god parent!" She commented as her eyes grew wide with excitement and with a huge grin on her face. Golly looked at Duncan as from behind he mouthed, 'Please just wear it to make her happy or you'll step on her wires only more.'

Lili turned around stared Duncan up and down as he stopped mouthing the words of 'wisdom' to his dear friend, "You're conversing with the enemy, aren't you?"

"Och no, me not doing that." Duncan made a wacky face after Lili turned to glance at Golly, this time Golly gave a laugh.

"Suddenly, I'm the enemy for wearing a cap? What's the world coming to, lass?"

"That's not a cap that's a traitor hat!" She shouted, before giggling. Golly gave in and eyed her back, "Aye, lass, well, I thank-you for the hat then..."

Duncan stared blankly at the cap as Golly handed it to him. He ran his fingers over the fabric as a tear swept down his face. "Och no, me can't take this, Gol, she gave it to you."

"No, ye should. You lost everythin' in that fire weeks ago, I remembered her cap. Take it with you." Golly confessed, as Duncan's face grew long.

"How do ya mean?"

"Take the cap with you to New Zealand or where ever yer new job is for a few months." Golly replied sincerely while Duncan shrugged, "I'm not sure I'm going."

Lizzie stood in the shop entrance way as she chatted on with the interviewer from Highland Magazine. Molly stood by her side as they smiled, talking over and over again about what it's like to grow up in a remote area, which is constantly visited by tourists in the Summer season. Paul drove the land rover up to the door, as he climbed out of the truck, as he stood there for a moment glancing over towards the yellow sided shingled roved shop that had a sign hanging, with Victorian black lettering: "Molly's Saving Grace." His eyes set on the blond standing with Molly and Lizzie. He couldn't make out a face as her back was towards him. Could it be--her? His mind froze as Lizzie's eyes wandered towards Paul standing there in the middle of the sidewalk, "Paul?"

Molly tipped her head upwards and nodded it from side to side trying to get a better look at Paul, as he approached them. The interviewer didn't turn around right away as she was trying to close her notebook and cap her pen. Paul walked closer and closer to the trio of women. "Paul, what are you doing here? Something wrong at the Centre?" Molly inquired as he walked up to them.

"Nothing, Molly. Just thought I'd see how things were," Paul replied, while waiting for the interviewer to show her face.

"There going, Paul," Molly added delighted as the interviewer spoke up, "That's it for now, Mrs. MacDonald. The interview will be in the latest issue."

"How splendid! How exciting! Isn't it? My shop getting the publicity in such a short time," Molly smiled brightly with twinkles in her eyes.

"You have a marvelous set up here and you both should be proud," The interviewer chanted out, as Molly decided to 'extend' some publicity towards the Wild Life Centre as well. "There are other wonderful sights here in Glenbogle, like the Wild Life Centre that my son Archie and family run for the community. He takes in bus loads of children and shows them nature, take them hiking and give them first aid lessons, etc."

"That's wonderful, sorry my story is only on the store." The interviewer showed her face to Paul, and it wasn't her.

"I thought someone related to Margaret Thatcher was conducting the interview for the shop," Paul tried to tread lightly, just as Molly grew slightly suspicious.

"Yeah, she was, but she got stuck in London on a huge ground breaking story and there wasn't much time for her to fill in for the magazine—she's a free lancer, spends time working in London for the Globe but really likes filling in for stories between Highlander and other local papers up here. Hi, I'm Janey by the way, and you are?"

"Paul Bowman," as he shook her hand.

"Well, Paul, Molly, Lizzie, very nice to meet all of you, but I have to run." Janey with her one strap bag hung over her shoulder nodded onto them and started off for her car. When Janey was out of an ear shot, Molly, Lizzie and Paul stood outside. Molly then decided it was time to conduct an investigation of her own like a private eye and Lizzie was her partner.

"What is wrong, Paul?" Molly asked oddly, knowing he never would travel down to the shop unless something was seriously wrong.

"Nothing…things look good, so I'll be off," Paul turned on the balls of his feet and ventured towards the land rover as Lizzie chuckled, "He's up to something. When he's this quiet, he's hiding himself. Why?"

Molly added back, "Perhaps in time he'll share what's going on with him later on. Only one can hope, but not hold their breath while doing so. " The mother and daughter pair walked back into the shop as Paul sat in the land rover. She's here writing free lance, selling her self out as a reporter…she's in London working on a story for the Globe? His mind danced over the information that Janey had presented to him as he started up the truck and drove away.