A/N: Hey guys I don't know how good this is, so rather or not I post a new chapter to this depends on how y'all react to it. How many reviews, follows and favorites I get will help me make that decision. R&R and follow if you want more.

Disclaimer: I do not own the walking dead or any of its characters. Nor do I expect to get paid for my story. Ect. Ect. Y'all know the drill. And yes I do say y'all in real life.

The Difference between Surviving and Living

Chapter 1

The bus was hot and the mood was grim as the women and children sat scattered around it. Some huddled with loved ones or friends while others comforted their children, but Amanda sat alone in the back of the bus watching the trees and walkers go by. They were all that was left of the town of Woodbury, and now they were getting shipped to some smelly prison because the man named Rick and his redneck buddy thought it would be safer there with them. All Amanda wanted to know was where the Governor was and why they thought Woodbury wasn't safe anymore. Word around the bus was that the governor went crazy, murdered the army that had gone with him to attack the very people that were in the bus with them, and then disappeared.

Amanda didn't believe them, she couldn't. Her father and brother were a part of The Governors army. They couldn't be dead, they had to be waiting for her at the prison, but the bus passed a familiar military vehicle, the one her family had climbed into the last time she saw them. She turned to look out of the back glass of the bus as walker wearing her father's hunter green shirt turned to face her. Her heart dropped. "Stop!" Everyone looked at her as she made her way to Rick who was driving the bus. "I said stop." Rick pulled to a slow stop. "Give me your gun." Rick looked at her like she was insane. She rolled her eyes as she held out her hand "Please, I'm not gonna to shoot anyone here." He still didn't hand over his gun. "That's my family back there. I…" she sighed, fighting back tears as she looked at the back glass of the bus. The faces of her walker turned family pressed to the glass hungrily. "I can't let them hurt people." She looked desperately at Rick. "I'm a good shot." She lied. She had never shot a moving target before. "It will only take two bullets." She pleaded with her eyes and he stood up, took his gun out of the holster and started to leave the bus.

"I'll do it." She jumped between him and the stairs blocking his way. "I have to they're my family." He hesitantly handed the young woman the pistol not knowing if it was a stupid decision or not. Amanda looked in all directions making sure her father and brother were the only walkers she had to look out for before she exited the bus and walked halfway down its rusted length. Just the crunching of rocks under her converse clad feet was enough to get their attention and they headed toward her with the speed of freshly changed walkers. She clicked the safety off before she took the stance that her father had made her practice so much that she did it in her sleep. She watched them through the sights as they hobble closer to her. Everyone could hear her whispered "I love ya'll" Through the open windows before two clear shots echoed through the air.

She clicked the safety back on then numbly entered the bus. A loud squeak came from the gears behind her as Rick pulled the handle around closing the doors. She barely felt the hard faced redneck tap her on the shoulder when she didn't move from between the two front seats. He held his hand out for the gun and wordlessly motioned with his head for her to sit down. She ignored the sad eyes on her as she made her way to the back seat and plopped down no longer caring about the trees as they past. No longer caring about what her future was to hold.

She leaned her head against the back of the seat in front of her. The sheet of straight black hair hid her face from the others as silent tears fell down pail freckled cheeks. She didn't feel the seam of the seat that was digging into her forehead or the drops of salt water that soaked into her blue jeans. Everyone wanted to comfort her, but no one knew how, no one really knew the 19 year old that well. They had only been in Woodbury for six weeks. Just long enough for her father to see the troubles the town was having with their invasive neighbors and volunteer to help. Just long enough for her to get used to watching movies, drinking ice cold lemonade, and taking showers again, to be happy again. Not that she had been happy the entire time she was at Woodbury. The Governor had taken everything away from her. She had thought he was a trustworthy man. A kind and loving man, but it had all been a cruel, cruel trick. She didn't know what kind of man he truly was until it was too late.

She was lost to the world when one of the women tapped on the back of the seat letting her know they had arrived at the prison. Amanda looked around taking in the few people that stood at the entrance of the building. A boy was standing next to a blond haired teen girl who was cradling a baby in her arms. Surly the baby didn't belong to her. Without wanting to Amanda left her seat to be ushered out of the bus and into a room in the prison that was becoming crowded. She moved along the wall shouldering her way between people until she sank into the corner of the room, becoming invisible. The group smashed against the wall forming a tight circle around Rick as he entered the center of the room.

"I know that I have taken all of you out of your comfort zones and away from your homes," Rick turned slowly as he spoke taking in the faces of the new people that surrounded him. "And I am truly sorry for that." Amanda didn't pay attention to the rest of the arrogant mans speech. She got a few dirty looks from the people standing in front of her when she bumped them as she slid down the wall and pulled her knees to her chest. She didn't even notice the roar of voices that echoed around the room when Rick's speech was over or the shuffling of feet as they were slowly assigned cells. It wasn't until someone started waving their hand in front of her face that she realized she was the last person in the room.

She blinked at few times before she looked up meeting the hard steel blue eyes of the redneck that was kneeled down in front of her. "Ya alright?" he asked as he stood up looking down at her, but she didn't answer. She didn't know how to answer that question because she didn't know if she was alright or if she ever would be. She managed to shrug her shoulders before the redneck disappeared and came back with white haired man on crutches.

"What's your name?" it took her a second to decide if she wanted to answer him or not but she eventually told him her name. "Well, I'm Hershel and this is Daryl." Her eyes followed his finger when he pointed to the redneck watching with a face that matched how she felt, blank. "If you want, we can show you where you will be sleeping from now on." She just wanted to be left alone, but it seemed like she would have to be shown to her cell before that was going to happen. She managed to make herself stand up and grab her bag from where it had fallen off her shoulder onto the floor. She motioned for the two men to lead the way. The cell block was noisy with people settling in and children running around playing with what toys they had brought with them as Hershel led the way and Daryl followed.

They led her to an upper level cell saying that all the lower levels were filled with the elderly and women that had children. "If you have any questions or need something just come find me or Daryl." Hershel offered before they both left her. She glanced around the sad excuse for a room. A stool sat under a metal table that was built into the wall. She picked up the dusty book that sat on it revealing a perfectly clean rectangle on the table. "The Wizard of Oz? What kind of prisoner reads The Wizard of Oz?" A cloud of dust flooded from the edges of the book when she tossed it onto the floor and took her bag off of her shoulder. The chair screeched across the floor as she pulled it out and plopped down on it folding her arms on the table using them as a pillow before drifting off into a restless sleep.

"You're so beautiful." He said as he swept a lock of her soft hair behind her ear. All she could manage to give him in return for his compliment was a shy smile and blush. She had never had a man make her feel so special before. He had let his hand slide down her cheek to rest on her neck where he pulled her in for a kiss. He eventually rolled over on top of her feeling her youthful body as he did so. She sighed at the strange feelings shooting through her every limb as she kissed him back with her soft inexperienced lips.

Down stairs, Rick had his hands full with the hustle and bustle of people asking him questions as well as making sure his daughter was being cared for properly. His people knew how he worked, when to jump in and take charge and when to wait for his command. Tyreese and Sasha were helping out the best they could, but didn't really know the groove of things yet. Michonne was surprising everyone with how welcoming and handy she could be without getting in the way. Currently she was smiling and talking to an elderly lady who seemed to be having trouble with her hands.

Rick watched as people got settled letting his eyes land on Beth who slaved away cooking food for the new people she didn't even know. He would never understand her. So quiet, so obedient, with the voice of an angel and the temper of a devil when the occasion called for it. Women were already lining up in hopes of getting food for their children before themselves. He let his eyes leave Beth only to land on Carl holding the sleeping baby girl. "Looks like things are goin' smoothly." The rough southern voice next to him made him jump not having heard Daryl walk up beside him. "Think everyone's gonna like it here." The two men shared a smile before looking back at the now moving line of people receiving the prison food that would no longer last as long as they thought.

"Everyone seems to be in high spirits." Rick said making Daryl frown at his friends observation. Not everyone was in high spirits. The girl that had cowered in the corner didn't look too happy. The same girl that had insisted they stop the bus so she could take down her family. Rick walked off to take over serving the people. Daryl caught himself scanning the crowd looking for the sad girl with the straight jet black hair. He didn't see her anywhere so he set off in search of Maggie. He found her in her cell looking like she was pissed off at the world.

"Would ya mind doin' me a favor?" Maggie looked up at him like she was going to bite him.

"Not if it has anything to do with those people." He knew the strong willed girl well enough to know that asking her to talk to the new girl would get him nowhere. So he set out to the cell himself knowing that everyone else was busy with other things. When he got to her cell he saw her lying over on the table sound asleep. He watched her back rise and fall with even breaths, debating on rather or not to wake her. He ended up leaving her, satisfied that she was at least getting some sleep.

Later that night as everyone slept or at least tried to sleep in their new abode, Amanda laid awake, aware of the occasional person that would walk by her cell. She stared blankly into the pitch black that filled the small room wanting nothing more than her father and brother in there with her. Wishing she could turn back time and go shopping with her mother, play the latest video game or spend countless useless hours figuring out the perfect way to do her makeup even though no one cared to see. She had dreamed of becoming a makeup artist. At eighteen years old she had no friends and no social life. Here she was a year later and more pathetic than ever.

A creaking filled the cell as she sat up fumbling around in the darkness for her bag only to knock it over, cursing silently when some of it's contains rolled across the floor. She eventually found the little green book light she had been looking for and clicked it on. Now that she could see she pulled her beat up duct tape flower pen and matching journal out and sat down at the table clipping the light onto the hard cover. She scribbled words onto the paper like she had been doing since her mother gave her the blank book for Christmas when she was eight. It was her way of getting things out of her head. If she couldn't write down what she was thinking the thoughts would continue circulating, constantly depressing her. Sometimes as she wrote the pages became stained with privately shed tears, and tonight was one of those nights. Warm salt water slowly dripped down the freckled bridge of her nose and onto the paper causing the ink to smear. The pin dropped from her shaking hand and bounced onto the floor.

"Ya alright?" she jumped at the words quickly wiping away her tears before turning the light on the unshaven face of the redneck, Daryl, where he stood in the doorway of her cell. It was the second time the man had asked her that question and she still didn't know the answer. She expected him to go away when she didn't answer, but she quickly learned that he was not the kind to give up because he just kept standing there taking her in.

She finally decided that she should give him some kind of answer even if it was a cruddy one. "I don't know." I pleasant smirk spread across his lips when she spoke even though it was raspy from not having said a word since she shot her family.

"So she does have a voice." She glared at him. The shy girl had heard things like that her entire life and the end of the world hadn't changed that. "Everyone said the only time they ever heard ya talk was on the bus today." He had to bring that up. She just wanted to forget that she had brought so much attention on herself and she didn't like that he was talking about her so she changed the subject all together.

"It's Daryl, Right?" He nodded happy that he had gotten her to talk and he took note of her country accent. "So yer Merle's brother?" he shifted uncomfortably at the mention of his deceased brother and grunted out a positive answer. "Ya kinda look like 'em." She took in the matching blue eyes and dirty blond hair.

"Ya knew my brother?" Amanda snorted at his question. Of course she knew his brother. Everyone knew who Merle was just because he was the reigning champ of the walker fights The Governor held every other night. But she knew him more as the man who sat across from her at the table in the library.

She crossed her hands over her chest not being comfortable around a man even if he was Merle's famous baby brother. "Yeah, I knew 'em." He kicked off of the wall and took a small step into the cell. "He liked to read." No one in Woodbury knew that and Daryl was completely confused by this new fact. He thought that his brother didn't read anything unless it was a playboy or motorcycle magazine. "And not kiddy stuff either." Merle was one of the few men in Woodbury that had made her feel human. Neither of them could sleep at night and they both gravitated to the never locked library. "He told me he'd kiss me if I ever told anyone that. I guess that threat don't stand no more." Merle was just one more person she had lost, one more reason to fade into the background. Everything she just told him proved that he never really knew his brother. His brother had never threatened to kiss anyone either. If he wanted to kiss someone he would sweet talk them into it or just do it. So why a kiss was so threatening to this girl that clearly knew his brother better than he did he didn't know.

"Yer shittin' me?" Amanda didn't feel like dignifying that with an answer. "My brother, Merle? The big scary man with one hand, reading in a library like some hoity-toity rich bitch?" Despite the fact that she had just been crying over her lost family she felt like laughing and couldn't help the small smile that played at the corners of her lips.

"I never paid much attention to the missing hand. Then again he never wore the big metal thing in the library neither." Daryl studied her as she spoke with her hands a lot.

Daryl leaned on the wall with a new reason for getting to know the girl. "Ya sure know a lot of things about 'em." Amanda just shrugged as she turned in the swivel chair to pick her pen up off of the floor. "Were the two of ya together 'er somethin'?" She spun in her chair quickly almost hitting her stomach on the corner of the table.

"No." she looked at him like he had just asked her if she had kissed a walker. "He was just a friend." He crossed his arms over his chest looking her up and down.

"Mmhmm." She felt like slapping him. "My brother never made friends with a woman without there bein' benefits." Amanda's knuckles turned white where she gripped the sides of the chair. Sleep with one man and you automatically get slut tattooed on your forehead. She turned back around in her chair and picked up her pin hoping that he would get the hint and he did.

She finished up her journal entry before she set the book aside and pushed back her chair. She wondered what she could do to keep her mind busy now that the library wasn't there. She used to shove her nose in a book and completely immerse herself in it. It was easy to pretend you lived in a fictional world when the one you really lived in was crumbling down around you.

As she settled down for the night she realized that sleep wouldn't come and if it did it would be filled with painful dreams. So instead of sleeping she put pencil to paper and let her hand do all the work. By the time the sun started coming up Amanda's cell walls were dotted with black and white drawings. Nameless flowers, faces and things that she had seen here and there. "Those are pretty." Amanda turned to see Carol standing in her doorway. "Hi I don't know if we met yesterday. I'm Carol." The older woman extended her hand to the younger woman so she took it and lightly shook it. "I just stopped by to let you know that there's hot food in the holding room if you're hungry."

Amanda kept up her mute reputation and just nodded before Carol moved on to the next cell. As much as she didn't want to be surrounded by people she was too hungry to pass up the offer. So she dug through her bag and changed into a clean pair of jeans and a plain light gray shirt then braided her hair to hang over her left shoulder before she headed off to the holding room. The spoiled kids from Woodbury were complaining about what was being served, but Amanda had grown accustomed to the gamy spoils of the forest. When she and her family were on the road her father would often hunt for their food. Squirrel, rabbit, owls, opossums, ducks, whatever he could kill. Unfortunately her father and brother weren't very good hunters and neither was she.

Carol stood behind a table serving the odd breakfast of stew to the people that came through the line and watched Daryl where he sat eating his breakfast with Rick and Glenn. My how the man had changed since she first met him. He had gone from stereotyping everyone that came near him to being a kind caring man with a hard exterior. He still called Glenn chinamen every once in a while, but where it had been an insult before, now it was a joke. She didn't fail to notice that every once in a while Daryl's eyes would move to stare at the girl from Woodbury with the dark side braided hair. The girl was completely unaware of his gaze on her where she sat at an abandoned table in the corner of the room.

Carol wondered why the girl didn't talk to anyone, but from what she had heard the girl had just lost her father and brother all in the same day. She knew the young woman was hurting. All you had to do was look at her eyes and they would tell you all you needed to know. Carol decided that when everyone had been served that she would go keep the girl company.

She didn't even glance up when Carol sat down across from her. "Mind if I sit here?" she just shrugged at her. "I heard about your family, I'm sorry." When the girl still didn't give her any kind of response Carol decided to try something else. "Did you draw all of those pictures I saw in your cell earlier?" The girl looked up at her through her lashed and nodded while chewing her food. "They're very good. Did you take art lessons before?" Carol just couldn't crack her so she sighed and decided that it would be best if she just ate her breakfast. But she promised herself that she would make friends with the girl even if it was a silent friendship. The girl nodded to Carol in thanks before she walked off to put her bowl in the empty bin then disappeared into the cell block.

Amanda didn't understand why Carol was trying to get to know her, but she knew she had no interest in talking to the short haired woman. People only tried to talk to her if they wanted something from her. Be it a drawing or some other favor. Whatever it was Carol wanted from her she wasn't going to get. Even if she really did just want to be friends, Amanda was through letting people in and getting hurt in the process. She didn't have room for any more pain. Losing her whole family had caused her enough pain to last a lifetime. Sooner or later everyone who gets close to her dies. Merle was a prime example of it.

Without meaning to Amanda fell asleep on her bunk with a pencil and pad in her hand.