Howard's world was crushed. He sat on his sofa, head leaned in his hands. He was tired, he hadn't slept all night. There was nothing that could make him feel better. Not his friends, not his wife, no comics, no TV shows, no movies. Nothing at all.

He had lost his mother.

No matter how often he had made fun of her, no matter how often he had said mean things… he had loved his mother. She had been the most important person for most of his life. She had raised him, had supported him with everything and had put up with him. Howard knew that he had not been an easy kid at times, leave alone an easy teenager or adult. But Deborah Wolowitz had always loved him unconditionally. He had known it every second of every day. Every time he had made a mistake. He had never been afraid to come home with a bad grade, with a new pair of jeans completely ripped apart because he had climbed a tree, with a black eye because he had provoked one of the school bullies. His mother had always had his back.

"Howard?"

He looked up, eyes red and swollen and hurting. His hair was a mess – more than usual. He hadn't gotten around to get out of his bathrobe yet. He didn't feel like moving at all.

His worried petite wife sat down next to him, supportingly putting a hand on his back. She knew what a big loss it was for him… for all of them. They had all found Mrs. Wolowitz lovely in a twisted kind of way. She had been everyone's mom – most of all because the other moms weren't around in Pasadena.

Bernadette had always had her own special relationship with her mother-in-law but she missed her terribly. She didn't even want to imagine how much her husband was missing her.

"I called at CalTech. They're all sending regards and their deepest condolences." Bernadette tried to catch Howard's glance but he just stared at the couch table.

"Thank you" His voice was quiet and thin.

Bernadette put her head on his shoulder. "I am so sorry, Howie. But she wouldn't want you to be so sad."

Howard wiped his teary face with both his hands and nodded. She was probably right but the pain deep in his chest was unbearable at the moment. He was alone now. All of his family was gone. All of his close family at least. Howard knew he had Bernadette and his friends but he still felt so very alone.

Howard sat in his bed. Two weeks had passed. He had finally stopped crying every 5 minutes but it probably was because he felt completely dehydrated, even though Bernadette constantly forced him to eat and drink. Howard felt terrible, not only because of his mom, but also because he had abandoned his friends ever since the news had hit him. He was sure that they knew it wasn't a thing about them but he still felt bad. He had also hardly spoken to Bernadette even though she had tried everything.

This morning he had reassured her to go to work and that he would get out of bed and do some chores. He had gotten out of bed… but only to go to the toilet and shower. Then he had put on a new bathrobe and crawled back under the sheets.

With a deep sigh, Howard rolled around and opened the drawer of his nightstand. He pulled out a white envelope and held it firmly. His fingers felt the paper but it felt unreal. He closed his eyes and smelled it. Yes, he could smell his mother.

Howard's eyes filled with tears again but he quickly wiped them away. He wanted to see clearly.

The lawyer Howard had needed for everything to be in order – his mom's lawer – had handed him a letter. His mom had written it a few years ago apparently and given it to her lawyer, trusting him to hand it to her son if something was to happen to her. Sadly that scenario had occurred sooner than expected.

Howard swallowed and took a deep breath. He was curious about what was in the letter but on the other hand he also dreaded opening it. It was the last message from his mother. Her very last words to him. Of course he could always re-read them but the first time would be something special. He was sure he'd go over her words over and over again within in the next few days.

With trembling fingers he opened the envelope and pulled out a photo. It was one of her and him when he was a baby. Howard immediately felt hot salty tears run down his cheeks but he tried to ignore them. What a beautiful picture… he had never seen it before. It was right after his birth, his mother in the hospital bed with little him on her arms, smiling at him as if she had never seen anything so beautiful before. All the love that a mother could possibly feel for her kid was visible in that look of hers and captured in this picture.

Howard wiped his cheeks and eyes again and took the letter. He carefully unfolded the paper and took another deep breath before he started reading.

My dear Howard,

I hope it will be decades before you will get this letter because these will be my last words to my loving son.

Ever since the moment you were born, I loved you. You were – and are – my treasure and my sunshine and my reason to smile every day. I know that the day your father left was a bad day for you and I am sorry that I could never replace him, but believe me, I tried my best. You should know that I love you for as long as I live and even beyond that. You are my son and my pride. I am sure I was not always the mother you wanted me to be, maybe not even the mother you needed, but I always supported what you did and I am proud of you and all the things you have accomplished in life.

Now, my dear Howard, there is a thing I haven't told you about your father. The reason he left was because he was leading a double life. He had another family. I only found out the day he left. We sat down, he told me everything. Then we decided it would be better for him to leave. He was overwhelmed with everything.

But it wasn't only us he left… he also left his other family.

What you didn't know, Howard, is that part of your family is still close to you.

Your father had not only sent you a letter, but also me. He had sent me a photo of his other child – a girl. Your half-sister.

What you didn't know is that you have already met her. I recognized her the very first time I saw her. I think you two get along well.

Her name is Amy Farrah Fowler.

Even though your father hasn't been fair… do me a favor and tell Amy about it and accept her as your sister. I got to know her as a very loving woman and I am sure she can cheer you up.

So long, my beloved son. We will meet again one day. Take good care of you and Bernadette.

With everlasting love,

Mom.

Howard quickly moved away the letter before teardrops started falling. The loving words of his mother were more than he could take but they made him feel better.

His brain didn't seem to work properly anymore. Amy was his sister? How had he never seen that? They looked kind of similar, they had the same kind of humor, they both liked Neil Diamond… just like their father.

For the first time in weeks Howard got a little smile on his face. Then he suddenly had the urge to visit Amy.

He got out of bed and put on clothes. The first time in two weeks that he would leave the apartment. He quickly grabbed his phone in case Bernadette would call. The he folded the letter and put it in his pocket.

Amy yawned and let herself fall on her sofa. It had been a tiring day at work and all she wanted was to put her legs up on the couch table and watch TV. It had been exhausting weeks and her and her friends' moods were pretty low since Mrs. Wolowitz had passed. Amy hadn't even gotten around to really keep in touch with Bernadette since the petite blonde had been worried sick about her husband.

The neurobiologist's phone buzzed hectically and she quickly grabbed it and then smiled. A message from her boyfriend.

'I hope you are alright? Sheldon.'

He had been the cutest over the past few weeks, they had given each other a lot of hold and strength. Amy quickly texted back and then dropped her phone back onto the sofa.

She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Just when she was on the edge of drifting off, her doorbell rang and Amy almost fell off the sofa. Visitors? She hadn't invited anyone. For a second she thought about a surprise visit from Sheldon but she ruled it out immediately – no knocking.

Amy got off the sofa and shuffled over to her door.

When she had opened it, her jaw dropped. It was Howard – red swollen eyes, trembling hands.

"Howard" Amy mumbled. "What… uhm… come in!"

She instantly stepped aside and her friend entered her apartment, walking over to the sofa. Amy closed the door and followed him. She wasn't exactly sure what he was doing here… she doubted that all of their other friends were unavailable and she highly doubted that she would have been his first choice to go to. Amy felt the strong urge to hug him but she didn't dare.

"How are you?" Amy carefully patted his back with her hand.

Howard just fumbled around with his pockets and then handed Amy a folded paper. She pulled her eyebrows down in confusion but took and unfolded it. When she had read the first few words, her eyes got big and she looked at Howard. "Are you sure you want me to read this? It seems awfully personal…"

She was honored but not sure if it was a kneejerk reaction or genuine.

Howard just nodded towards the letter.

Amy swallowed and slowly kept reading the letter. Howard didn't look at her the entire time. He waited patiently until she had read the entire letter. Then he looked up. Amy's eyes were filled with tears. She blinked a few times and then faced the man next to her.

"Is that true?" She asked with a thin shaky voice.

Howard just nodded. Of course, his only proof was this letter. But he trusted his mother.

"That means you… you are my brother?" A little smile appeared on her face as Howard nodded again.

Amy took a deep breath and looked down at the letter, skimmed the words again and shook her head. How funny life was sometimes.

"I'm really sorry. I'm sure you would have wished for a cooler sister than me…"

Howard looked at her, then he leaned over and slung his arms around her, pressing her against him firmly. She laughed in surprise and returned the hug.

"You're my family. And you are the coolest sister anyone could wish for." Howard whispered into her ear.

Amy closed her eyes and felt her tears fall onto his shoulder. She had always felt a strong connection with him but had never been able to tell what it was. Now she knew; she had been in contact with her brother the entire time. And she knew that she couldn't have been any luckier.