Disclaimer: Own no part of OUaT. The OC is partially my invention, partially literary reference.

Chapter One

Vivien was working when the curse broke. She didn't hear the explosion or feel the shock wave that ripped through the town. She just felt the sudden swell of memory burst over her head like a cresting wave, threatening to draw her under.

Worthless child. I never should have trained you!

What do you want? More than anything?

You can't be human, you have no heart!

Leave him. Leave it all behind.

No heart. No soul.

Do this and you'll have all you want.

Don't do this!

Her fist curled in so tight that she felt the snapping of bones. Pain. Pain might help. A loud beeping penetrated the fog that was making her mind dizzy. It hadn't been bones that crushed in her grip. Thank god she'd been doing ultrasound. The tiny machine was emitting a frenzied noise to announce the sensors had lost contact. She forced her fist to open and pried out the shattered plastic of the tool. She slammed a fist on the beeping ultrasound to shut off its noise, trying to take ragged breaths that might even her heartbeat.

What just happened? Where had she been? How did she get here? Vivien stared around the room and would've given her rising panic more energy except her patient suddenly began to writhe.

"My feet! Oh god, my feet!" the woman on the table was suddenly kicking and squirming like she was being tortured, trying desperately to get her feet away from whatever pain they felt.

"Lily? Lily? Sit up. Sit up!" Vivien shouted, pulling her patient upright and swinging her feet off the table. She always had the foot bath ready for when Lily came. It seemed to be the only thing that brought any relief to her constant foot pain. The redheaded patient was stifling her sobs with a fist in her mouth. Vivien desperately pulled the foot bath over, splashing herself, the floor and the table as she immersed the reddening, inflamed soles.

Lily settled down. Her sobs of pain evening out into mellow whimpers as tears flowed down her face.

"They still hurt?" Vivien leaned forward, trying to see if there was any blood in the water. No open wounds but that pain had been so sudden! She'd always wondered about the source of Lily's foot pain. It couldn't be work related because she was a swimming instructor. She had just assumed it had to do with the ridiculously high heels the girl always wore.

"No," Lily groaned, burying her head in both hands, "My family! My father. My sisters!"

"They aren't here?" Vivien vaguely knew that Lily had left family behind in some small town inland to come here. But that wasn't true, was it? She felt her stomach sinking like someone had dropped hot coals down her throat.

"I left them. I left them all! I'll never see them again." Lily was sobbing again. She fell forward and Vivien just barely caught her, almost falling off her stool in her speed to intercept. The younger woman was crying into her shoulder for all she was worth and it was obvious there wouldn't be any more answers for a while. But silence meant that her own mind began to fall back in on itself.

Vivien clenched her every muscle as tight as she could, trying to keep her thoughts in this exact moment. Here. Now. The memories hadn't just gently bled back in like forgotten photographs, they'd roared back with the force and callousness of an assault. They were still coming. They sparked and deluged in vengeance at being ignored or denied so long. Vivien bit her lip to stifle her reaction as her mind was ripped open, filled up and plunged into pain. Like being raped. She couldn't stop a tear that bled out the side of her eye now. Again.

Lily finally leaned back and Vivien worried that perhaps she'd accidentally clenched too tight. Whatever her worries, the other woman's expression set her mind to rest. The redhead looked far more composed, relieved from pain. Most of it, anyway.

"Sorry. I – I didn't mean to freak out. It just, I forgot how much it hurt. Like walking on swords." She shook her head but pulled her feet from the soak. The skin was still red but looked like the inflammation had reduced.

"Lily, What -?" Vivien couldn't even finish the sentence. There were so many questions that she didn't know which to ask first. She was the professional here, dammit! She was supposed to be in charge!

"Lille."

"What?"

"My name. It's Lille. Not Lily." Her smile was almost beatific as she rose. She only winced a little as she set her feet firmly on the ground. A twinge of pain shot across her face and furrowed her brow before she squared her shoulders and nodded. She'd always seemed so impulsive and fragile, like a foolish child about to fall from a tree. Now she had been transformed into a creature of strength, drawing from something deep inside her that was powerful if melancholy.

"Ok. Lille," Vivien tested out the name, trying to feel the difference, "Are you sure you're well enough to go?"

"I'm good," Lille nodded once, then grinned, "Better than ever. I'm going to the beach! I feel like I haven't had a swim in . . . forever!"

Vivien watched the redhead sprint from the room, a happy spring in her step that was completely in contrast to the agony wracking her moments before. How could peace return that quickly? Maybe she was just an impulsive child. Besides, she'd been in the pool teaching classes all day yesterday.

There was still no time to be lost in meditation. A noise down the corridor drew Vivien from her office. It looked like a riot. Nurses, patients, doctors, everyone was shouting. Some were dancing, some crying, some even kissing. It was like New Year's Eve met Mardi Gras and picked up Christmas along the way for an angry orgy. She'd never seen this many people so completely lose control of themselves.

Then there was one voice, shouting to be heard over the din, cutting through the noise like a scalpel. Whale. Vivien narrowed her eyes a little. She'd never liked the man. They worked together in the hospital, albeit with completely different focuses but she couldn't stand being in the same room with him. As a doctor he was phenomenal. As a person? He made her skin crawl. He was yelling and ranting about blame, about justice and vengeance and making someone pay. Vivien walked cautiously closer, trying to be invisible. She wanted to bolt to her office, shut and lock the door and hide under her desk until this, this delusion passed. Except she knew, from deep within herself, that the delusion had passed. Now it was time to face reality. A reality for which Whale announced he knew who to blame.

Everyone's emotions were already running rampant. Memories and pains were chewing through hearts and flesh and the crowd so obviously just wanted their culprit. Someone, anyone, that they could blame. They were out for blood and it didn't seem to matter whose. It made Vivien's stomach lurch to see the gleefully vengeful expression in Dr. Whale's eyes. He was going to turn this animal mob loose on someone.

She followed at a distance, terrified of being seen and recognized; terrified of being sucked into the overriding current of emotion that they all were coasting along. Where would it crash? She felt dizzy as they ran through the streets. Maybe she was happy to be running? Maybe the thoughts wouldn't catch up? She ran to stay away, not to catch up.

When the mob stopped at the familiar entrance to a massive white mansion Vivien felt everything at once. The memories, the thoughts, the realities. She stood with both feet grounded but her head swimming. Regina? What could any of this have to do with the Mayor?

She vaguely heard shouting; Whale going on about Regina's blame and what they would do to her. Vivien hung further back, staring at the silent mansion. She heard 'Evil Queen' getting murmured by the crowd. They spat the title, glowered at the house, cursed beneath their breath and then louder. She'd known Regina how long? Since before she had Henry. But how long was that? Why couldn't she really remember?

I'm naming him for my father.

You look happy enough to glow.

I am.

Happy = healthy. That's all I care about. Now, making sure you get enough sleep . . .

Evil Queen? Regina? Vivien almost laughed. Sure, the mayor was intimidating. She could be calloused and apathetic as a byproduct of having to set up a strong identity as a single woman. It actually made Vivien respect her more. She was meticulously calculated when it came to getting her way but that had always been to the benefit of StoryBrook, not herself. And, yes, she had a volatile temper and a tongue like a hot whip when she was incensed but Vivien saw no reason that she should be anymore 'evil' than the morons who got mad and threw punches instead of words. Evil. Really? She scoffed a little, wondering if she should try to tell them all what evil really was.

The confrontation with the mayor was confusing. Vivien couldn't follow half of what was said, she just saw everyone go from being scared to cocky. She saw the mayor lose her own arrogant façade and grow nervous beneath her apathetic mask. Vivien felt a frightened knot twist in her own belly. Shouldn't she step forward? Whale was moments away from doing something stupid and violent. The crowd didn't seem inclined to stop him. They couldn't seriously be thinking of mob justice?! This was not the town she knew and loved.

Just as Vivien was clenching her fists to step forward she was pushed aside by a bolting blonde form. She regained her balance on the fence wall and watched as the foreign Sheriff barreled in to the rescue. It was an ugly and tense few seconds before everyone accepted Ms. Swan's command of the situation. They obviously didn't know why she did what she was doing, but no one was about to challenge a physically fit, mentally volatile woman with a badge.

Vivien couldn't help but notice the way the Sheriff's eyes had scanned over the mayor, a split second to assuage her fear. She also couldn't ignore the momentary flash of gratitude in Regina's expression. It was a completely alien look. The mayor was entitled, never grateful. Both expressions were gone as soon as they appeared. The two women squared off once again as enemies and the moment of mutual concern vanished.

Vivien hummed to herself. Perhaps, just perhaps, if she had enough mysteries and questions in this world to ponder she could keep herself from falling back to the past. Anything was better than succumbing to her own thoughts.