SANZO'S HAPPY
"SHUT UP, YOU STUPID MONKEY!!!", Sanzo shouted angrily. He smacked Goku over the head with a paper fan repeatedly. Sanzo had long, blonde hair that ended past his ears, and was spiky, in tufts.
"Ow!! What was that for, Sanzo?! That hurt!!", Goku, the recipient of Sanzo's angry attack, rubbed the sore spot on the back of his head. Goku was a 'monkey', as most people called him, and a youkai, or demon.
"Because you're an idiotic monkey, that's why!!", Gojyo teased. Gojyo was a tall man, in his late twenties, with long red hair that ended at the middle of his back, and wore a blue jacket with his chest and stomach exposed. He had two long red hairs coming out of the top of his head that dropped diagonally in front of his face. Gojyo was half-human, half-youkai.
Sanzo then proceeded to whap Gojyo over the head with his fan as well
"Sanzo, what the heck was that for, you stupid priest!!", Gojyo cried, clutching the sore spot in his head, in imitation of Goku.
"For being a baka kappa...", Sanzo replied. Baka meant stupid, and kappa meant water demon, which Gojyo was.
"Ahahahahaha! Now, now, kids, play nice.." Hakkai, the timeless mediator of the group, said. He wore a green shirt, had brown hair that fell over his right eye, and a monocle on his right eye. Hakkai, like Goku, was a youkai. Hakkai held up his arm, and flicked his wrist in a waving motion, hoping to calm them down.
Sanzo then whapped HIM over the head with the fan.
"Why can?t any of you SHUT UP?!?!", Sanzo angrily shouted.
"What was that for, Sanzo? That was highly uncalled for." Hakkai said, rubbing the sore spot on his head, along with Gojyo and Goku, who were also rubbing their heads in pain.
"Because I want you to shut up! I just want to get through this one game of Mahjong!!", Sanzo roared. Goku and Gojyo reared back in fear, noting that Sanzo was still holding the paper fan. Hakkai, however, stood up.
"Come on, you two. I can see that we've exhausted our welcome.", Hakkai said. Goku and Gojyo looked at each other, and stood as well. The group of youkai quickly left the room, and shut the door behind them.
"Hmph..Good riddance.", Sanzo said, angrily putting out his cigarette.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hakkai sat on his bed, absentmindedly petting Hakaryu. The small dragon yawned in happiness, resting it's head on Hakkai's lap
There was a knock at Hakkai's door, and Gojyo walked in
"I can't stand that monk anymore, Hakkai!!", Gojyo roared.
"I too, am getting tired of Sanzo's frequent outbursts..", Hakkai said, placing his hand to his chin.
"That monk has blatantly stomped over my last nerve!!", Gojyo shouted.
"Keep it down; you don't want Sanzo to hear..", Hakkai replied, always the rationalist.
"It's not like I care anyway! Why, I'm going in that room, and showing that monk some respect!!", Gojyo shouted, turning.
Hakkai stood quickly. Hakaryu, angry at Hakkai standing up, flew over to the windowsill, curled up, and fell asleep. Hakkai placed his hand on Gojyo's shoulder.
"And get shot through the head? I don't think so.", Hakkai said. Gojyo sighed. He sat down in a nearby chair, while Hakkai resumed his place on his bed.
"There must be something we can do about Sanzo, then!"
"Then what do you propose we do about it?" Hakkai asked, his face serious in the moonlight.
"Hmm?..I was thinking snake venom. That'll teach him.", Gojyo laughed manically, rubbing his hands together.
"Gojyo, we're trying to get rid of his attitude problem, not kill him.", Hakkai responded quickly, not to keen on the idea of killing the monk.
Hakkai and Gojyo sat in deep thought, when suddenly, an idea popped into Hakkai's head.
"What if we give him...A really strong anti-depressant?", Hakkai said, pointing his finger into the air with a smile. Gojyo rubbed his chin in thought.
"I like that idea.Maybe the monk won't always be getting so PO'ed about everything…", Gojyo said.
Goku suddenly walked in. He yawned, as if he were almost asleep, before realizing something.
"Doesn't anyone knock anymore?", Hakkai asked, irritated.
"I'm sorry; I just realized...That all of our food is in Sanzo's room!!", Goku whimpered.
"So what? Go get it, you stupid monkey!!", Gojyo answered with a grin.
"Gojyo. Don't add fuel to the fire we're trying to extinguish...", Hakkai commented, quietly.
"Huh? What do you mean?", Goku asked.
"We're trying to think of a way to get rid of Sanzo's attitude.", Hakkai answered.
"Well, what are you going to do?", Goku asked.
"It's none of your business, stupid monkey!!", Gojyo answered, pushing his hand down on Goku's head, which pushed him down to the ground.
"I have a right to know as much as you do, stupid kappa!!", Goku replied angrily.
"Gojyo, stop it. We're going to give Sanzo a strong anti-depressant.", Hakkai answered.
"Anti-depressant? What's that?", Goku asked, confused.
"Silly monkey, it's going to make Sanzo happy!!", Gojyo answered in a mock mother tone, as if he were talking to a small child.
"...Ew!!! That's GROSS, Hakkai! Let me guess, Gojyo talked you into it?!", Goku replied, making gagging sounds. Gojyo was known as the "ladies man" of the group, and as such, was a bit of a pervert.
"Not THAT kind of happy, idiot! The kind of happy feeling you get when you frolic through a pretty field of flowers.", Hakkai said.
"I don't fell happy when I frolic through a field of flowers…", Goku and Gojyo said in unison.
"I think I remember seeing an "Anti-whatever" store on the way here…", Goku recalled.
"Finally, you're useful, for once!! Though, it'd help if it was still open at midnight.", Gojyo said, annoyed.
"Why don't we go check? On the way over there, I can get some food!!", Goku answered happily.
"I'm cool with it. What about you, Hakkai?"m Gojyo replied.
"I'm fine. Let's go.", Hakkai replied calmly.
---------------------------------------------
The group arrived at a small store,that appeared to not have any lights on inside.
"It looks like they're closed. So much for that idea, stupid monkey!!", Gojyo said, angrily giving Goku a noogie.
"Wait.Let's goes inside.", Hakkai said. Gojyo and Goku looked at one another, and followed him inside.
Inside was a small room. It didn't appear to have any other extensions in it, so it was a one room store.
"Welcome…" a mysterious voice echoed. It was deep, so it sounded like it was a male's voice.
"We were expecting you...Hakkai, Gojyo, and Goku.", another voice said, equally mysterious as the first, but was a female's voice.
As Hakkai stood there, he felt extremely uncomfortable. How did they know they were coming? And, how did they know their names?
"We are traveling anti-depressant salesmen.", The male voice said. There was a loud thwap sound.
"Ow, what was that for?!", the male voice asked in pain.
"We're traveling salespeople, remember?! I'M A GIRL.", the female voice said.
"See, I told you, Hakkai...Angsty-depravacies..." Goku replied.
"That's ANTI-DEPRESSANTS. And yes, we are specialists in that particular field..."m the male voice said. Hakkai could just make out a glimmer of white, presumably the figure's teeth reflecting light.
"One question: How do you know our names?", Hakkai asked, curious.
The male figure and female figure both put their hands to their chins, and recalled the incident…
FLASHBACK
"So, we're going to make them come to our store?", Ninjitsu15 asked.
"Of course! We're going to insert ourselves into the story!", HIH replied with a grin.
"Okay, but can we be all mysterious?", Ninjitsu15 asked.
"Mmm...Okay!", HIH replied.
END FLASHBACK
"Um...It's not really important...", the female figure replied.
"Yeah, we're just traveling Anti-depressant salesmen. I mean, SALESPEOPLE.", The male voice quickly corrected himself to avoid being slapped.
"There doesn't seem to be anything suspicious.", Gojyo said with a grin, "and besies, the female voice sounds pretty cute…", Gojyo said, laughing seductively.
"Gojyo, be quiet..", Hakkai hissed.
"Oh, fine.", Gojyo whined.
"Hmm…Things are getting pretty boring, I guess it's time we revealed ourselves…", the male voice said.
"I agree…1? 2? ...3!!", the female voice said.
The two figure's ripped off their cloaks dramatically, revealing a young boy no older than sixteen, and a young girl about the same age.
But, something was not right. The boy was wearing a dress, and the girl was wearing a black button shirt and black pants.
"Uh. What. The. Heck.", Hakkai managed. Gojyo and Goku stared for a moment, before bursting into laughter.
"Oops.I guess we got our costumes backwards in the rough draft...", the girl said.
"It would look that way.", The male said.
"We'll Be right back!!!", the female said. The two dashed off. Hakkai was left standing there, unnerved. Gojyo and Goku were laughing so hard they were crying.
"WHAT IDIOTS!!!!", they laughed.
The pair returned moments later and had, in effect, swapped clothing.
"Okay, now we can formally introduce ourselves.", The female said. She smirked. The young man put on a smirk equivalent to hers.
"I…Am Chance!!", the young man said, extending his arm outward.
"And, I am Jennifer!", the female said. The clasped their hands together, and hoisted them into the air.
"AND WE WILL BE SELLING ANTI-DEPRESSANTS TO YOU TODAY!!!!", they said in unison.
Hakkai continued to stare. Goku and Gojyo were shocked...
"A bit over the top?..", Hakkai thought to himself.
"Tee hee! He was wearing her dress!!", Goku giggled in his own thoughts.
"Wow...She is cute. What I wouldn't give to have her switch clothes with me, but never quite get them on...Heh heh...", Gojyo thought.
END CHAPTER 1
A/N: Well, what do you think? First fan fiction EVAH.