Bella sat on her bed contemplating what had happened that day. Edward, the name rang through her head, Edward, it repeated again. That name was so abhorrent, so painful that she didn't think she could stand her thoughts. She had to get away from the constant shouting in her head.

He doesn't love me! He never loved me. It was all an act, a bit of fun on the side. She could picture him now with his 'distractions' in the form of a leggy, blonde vampire with startling golden eyes! No! Stop!

She reached down to the small table by the side of her bed and got out her ipod.

The first song came on and she immediately burst into a new wave of tears. 'I'm not ready to make nice' by the Dixie chicks. The lyrics came slowly to her ears

Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I'm not sure I could

They say time heals everything

But I'm still waiting

The lyrics were describing her own feelings perfectly

I'm through with doubt

There's nothing left for me to figure out

I've paid a price

And I'll keep paying

The price, her own happiness and sanity, what a price to pay. The love that she held in her heart had been shattered

I'm not ready to make nice

I'm not ready to back down

I'm still mad as hell and

I don't have time to go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right

I probably wouldn't if I could

'Cause I'm mad as hell

Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said

Can't you just get over it

It turned my whole world around

And I kind of like it

That's what he had said, you will move on and forget, but she couldn't, not ever

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby

With no regrets and I don't mind sayin'

It's a sad sad story when a mother will teach her

Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger

And how in the world can the words that I said

Send somebody so over the edge

That they'd write me a letter

Sayin' that I better shut up and sing

Or my life will be over

I'm not ready to make nice

I'm not ready to back down

I'm still mad as hell and

I don't have time to go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right

I probably wouldn't if I could

'Cause I'm mad as hell

Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I'm not ready to make nice

I'm not ready to back down

I'm still mad as hell and

I don't have time to go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right

I probably wouldn't if I could

'Cause I'm mad as hell

Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I'm not sure I could

They say time heals everything

But I'm still waiting

The song drew to an end and she found herself thinking that this band had just summed up her future in one. She would always be waiting for him, never forgetting and never moving on. Where ever she went things reminded her of him. The sun, on the rare occasions it made an appearance, shined golden in her own eyes reminding her of the swirling pools of topaz she had so often got lost in. The moon at night reminded her of all the times he would spend with her after Charlie had gone to bed.

No, she could never adjust to life without Edward. This was to be her past, present and future. A never-ending sorrow that would consume her forever. She had to find a way out. But how? The only way she knew was long gone.

Something made her look up from behind, a rattle at the window; she jumped back startled as a figure jumped in to join her. She shot a frightened glance at the clock and saw it was 2:30 am. The figure stood up and Bella gasped,

"Carlisle?"