A/N: Wow. I haven't written in...over a year? Can't believe I actually wrote something after such a long time, never mind that it took me a month just to crank out 2k words...I'm getting rusty.
Now, this fic is set after the final chapter, slight spoilers(?) for the ending of TKA, though I will try to minimize said spoiler content. Also, some of the things are made up (obviously), and the characters may be OOC (don't blame me I haven't written in so long). I have googled and tried my best to check all the details, but you never know. Just comment below if you find any mistakes / errors. Thanks~
Disclaimer: The King's Avatar belongs to Butterfly Blue. This is just a fanfiction.
A crack(?) fic inspired by this youtube video, go check it out: w w w. youtube watch?v=IvkfpgjBt5k
Also, this fic is cross-posted on A03, under Green_fish.
"KYAAA! ZHOU ZE KAI I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABIES!"
"OH MY GOSH IT'S SUN XIANG! GOD PLEASE AUTOGRAPH ON MY SHIRT!"
"VICE-CAPTAIN JIANG PLEASE BE MY BOYFRIEND!"
"FAK ME IT'S THE WHOLE TEAM SAMSARA! GODS, PLEASE SHAKE MY HANDS!"
...oh shit. How did we get exposed?! The waddle of Samsara spenguins/s *cough* pro players were out in City B celebrating the triumphant return of their captain, Zhou Zekai, and team mate, Sun Xiang, from the World Glory Championships held in Zurich, Switzerland. They were just out to hunt for some of City B's famous snacks like Lvdagun (1) and tanghulu (2) when an eagle-eyed fan spotted their ever handsome flower boy captain, and as a result, outing the rest in the process.
Seeing the tsunami of fans rushing furiously at them, the Samsara penguins ran as fast as they can, splitting the team up and slipped into Beijing's alleyways. Twisting and turning at any random alleyway, Zhou Zekai, Sun Xiang and Du Ming managed to evade their horde of fans. It was only when the trio stopped to catch their breaths did Du Ming realised that he was with the culprit that caused their predicament, and internally wailed. Why am I so dumb to follow these two?! Being with the others should lower my chances of being exposed!
However, it's too late for Du Ming to regret as Samsara is well and truly split; now, they have to find their way out of this maze and regroup before it's too late. Sighing, Du Ming turned to look at their surroundings and try to orientate himself. Not recognising the area they are in, Du Ming plucked out his phone, ready to use his GPS when their reticent captain said, "this way".
Looking up, Du Ming saw Zhou Zekai already on his GPS, calmly waiting for him and Sun Xiang. Relieved, Du Ming pocketed his phone, and followed their captain into the quiet and dimly lit alleys.
It was not long before Zhou Zekai received a sms, which prompted him to stop and make a phone call, putting it on speaker.
"Hello? Captain? Where are you?"
"...Lost, but safe."
"Ah, I understand. Are you using your GPS now?" Jiang Botao asked.
How the heck did you know? Can you see us? Du Ming thought. However, vice captain's reliable as always.
"En."
"Shall we meet straight at XXX? It shouldn't be too far away, and it's close enough to the main street."
"En. 10 minutes."
"Alright, we'll meet you there in 10, we should be able to make it there in 8."
Zhou Zekai ended the call, and the trio quietly walked to their destination. When making a turn, Zhou Zekai nearly bumped into a strange male. Wrinkling his brow in confusion, Zhou Zekai quickly took several steps back and bumped into Sun Xiang.
"Ow, captain, behind you!"
"Sorry."
Sun Xiang frowned lightly at Zhou Zekai, but did not make further noise. His eyebrow rose as he saw the well-dressed stranger in front stare evilly at their captain. Warning bells rang in his head, and Sun Xiang turned around to flee, trying to grab both his captain and Du Ming as well. He stilled, realising that they have already been surrounded.
"Well well well look what have we here. Three little mice, lost from their nest." He sneered, removing his sunglasses to show disdain.
Du Ming eyed the suspicious man wearily, his instincts telling him that this man is most likely one of his Captain's haters who despised Zhou Zekai for his good looks and popularity with the masses. He even guessed that the stranger had an ex - be it girlfriend or boyfriend - who got so enamoured with Captain that they broke up with their other half just for a measly chance to be with him. Luckily, my goddess is nothing like that, I can properly woo her and not be afraid of Captain stealing her from me.
"You are… Zhou-whatever-your-name-is? That flower vase who is both mute and useless, and is only good to look at? And you two must be his sidekicks. Pathetic, really, to choose to follow the wrong person."
Sun Xiang flared, his blood boiling at the poisonous content. Despite maturing a lot since his transfer to Samsara, Sun Xiang is still a straightforward and prideful youth. "We were just minding our own business when you showed up! And his name is Zhou Zekai, Captain of two-time champions Samsara and one of the champions of the World Glory Championship!"
"Hmmm, he really must be mute, to need someone else to speak up for him. Tell me, how much did he pay for you to be his spokesperson, brat?" The stranger ignored Sun Xiang's spiel, and continued trash talking. "In fact, you are such a terrible spokesperson, you should have been fired."
Understanding that the other party is trying to get a rise out of the trio, Du Ming quietly tugged at Sun Xiang's jacket, his eyes warning Sun Xiang to behave. Huffing angrily, Sun Xiang puffed out his cheeks and stomped his feet, but kept silent. Du Ming understood Sun Xiang, in fact, all of them are extremely furious, but that does not mean they should lose their temper and get into a fight. Not only are they outnumbered, one of the henchmen is quietly filming the whole exchange on his smartphone. They totally suck at discretion! Du Ming thought, but was relieved that their camera skills suck so bad, or else he might have flown into a rage as well instead of keeping an eye out for the camera.
"Now, I'm a reasonable person. However, you," he pointed at Zhou Zekai, "are a menace to every single woman out there. That fox face of yours has broken up so many loving couples, it has to be destroyed!" Pausing dramatically, he continued, "but, I believe everyone deserves second chances, so, I shall be benevolent if you go down on your knees and apologize. You must also promise to never tempt young women into blindly following you, like that distasteful mob just now."
"...No...not my fault."
"You!"
Before the situation could escalate, a lazy voice floated up.
"Well well well, what have we here. Wang Badan (3), still keeping up with that schoolyard bully act?" A slim figure slinked out from the shadows, his delicate fingers holding on to a lit cigarette.
"Ye Xiu!" Wang Badan gnashed his teeth furiously.
"Don't mind me, I was just taking a smoke break when I heard the commotion." Gesturing lazily to his right, Ye Xiu indicated his previous hiding spot.
"Hmph, why aren't you back in that party sucking up to the ministers? After all, Lieutenant General Ye must be so proud, his runaway son came back with a championship! Oh, we mustn't forget your beloved twin, Ye Qiu, who can finally step down from being CEO of the Ye Corps since the original heir has finally come back!" Wang Badan said mockingly.
"What?! You are the heir of THE Ye Corps?"Sun Xiang squawked, gobsmacked by the revelation. Even Zhou Ze Kai was surprised, his eyes widening and mouth forming an "o", while Du Ming's jaws dropped so low that you could throw an orange in. "How the hell did you end up so broke that you were forced to retire by Excellent Era?!"
"Hah, seriously?! You were so lousy that your team had to force your retirement? You truly have no shame, using your connections to buy your way into the China Glory Team! Luckily, the Minister had common sense and only gave you an useless title. Hah! Leader! Sounds great but you didn't even play a single match!"
"No...not useless."
"Wow, the mute actually spoke up? In your defense? Tell me Ye Xiu, how much did you pay this flower boy? Is he as good as he looks? Did the two of you have a secret affair? Were your clandestine dates conducted in the hotel rooms of Zurich?"
How...how dare he…! Du Ming thought angrily. Sun Xiang looked extremely enraged, and was ready to give Wang Badan a piece of his mind. However, Ye Xiu beat them to the punch.
"Haha, Little Zhou is earning millions from his professional matches and endorsements, he doesn't need to whore himself out. If he ever decides to switch careers and be a gigolo, his clients will line up from The Great Wall to Shanghai, including Xiuying."
"You!" Wang Badan looked murderously at Ye Xiu.
The three Samsara spenguins/s pro players smirked, delighted at Ye Xiu's trash talk. However, they tried very hard to suppress their smiles, afraid that Wang Badan might take out his anger on them.
Wang Badan took in several deep breaths, clenching and unclenching his fists. Having calmed down slightly, Wang Badan sneered, "so? The four of you are still outnumbered. I can beat up all of you, and get away with it. My dad is Wang Gang!" (4)
"So? Doesn't mean that you can get away with it." Ye Xiu calmly replied. "Or have you forgotten who my father is?"
"...Hah! Haha! With no proof, who can arrest me?" Wang Badan laughed forcefully.
"I have. I'm on a conversation with Ye Qiu, and I'm sure he's recording our conversation as we speak."
"Actually, brother, our conversation has been on loudspeaker for awhile. I am also standing next to our esteemed guests." Ye Qiu's voice rang out from Ye Xiu's phone.
Silence ensued. A phone rang. Wang Badan paled, and answered the call. "Hello?... ... Yes, yes father… ...no father, of course not… ...I understand."
Hanging up his phone, Wang Badan scowled uglily. Glaring at Ye Xiu and the trio of penguins pro players, he stalked off, visibly upset and frustrated by the turn of events. His henchmen quietly followed Wang Badan, not even turning back to look at the four pro players. They are just hired help, their opinions do not matter here.
Turning to the three spenguins/s pro players (I have got to stop doing this), Ye Xiu smiled harmlessly at them. "Come, let's go find your team."
"Why are you still following us? Are you scared of being beaten?" Sun Xiang scoffed, though he looked like he was trying not to smirk.
Ye Xiu teased, "oh really? You don't want your white knight anymore? Then I…"
"No no no I don't mean it like that!" Tsun Xiang quickly clarified.
Chuckling softly, Ye Xiu did not reply, and the four continued towards their destination. Ye Xiu had gone up to Zhou Ze Kai and found out their destination, and offered to bring them there using a shortcut. Zhou Zekai nodded gratefully and the trio waddled after Ye Xiu.
While walking, Du Ming quietly nudged Sun Xiang, tilting his phone towards Sun Xiang. On the screen, it showed Ye Zhongming, a Lieutenant General in the People's Liberation Army, son of the eminent Marshal Ye. According to Baidu, he has two sons, their names and faces unknown.
"Your grandfather is THE Marshal Ye?" Sun Xiang squawked. Du Ming facepalmed. Tsun Xiang you idiot...
"Hmm? Yea."
"..." Now it's Sun Xiang's turn to be silent.
"Amazing." Zhou Zekai said.
"Haha, I guess so." Ye Xiu replied vaguely.
Before they could say anything else, the four men have walked out of the deserted alleys, and reached the meetup spot.
"Hello Little Jiang." Ye Xiu waved casually to Jiang Botao, who's wearing a surgical mask and baseball cap. Jiang Botao winced slightly, before cautiously nodding his head in greeting. The rest of Samara looked around surreptitiously, afraid of another screaming tsunami of fans. Understanding their situation, Ye Xiu shooed the trio back to their scolony/s team, and waved goodbye before disappearing back into the maze of alleys. He did not want to end up like Samsara, chased by hoards of stans. Samsara waved back at Ye Xiu before hustling their captain and ace into the restaurant for some delicious supper.
Another Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any similarities with real people / events are just a coincidence. I repeat, just a coincidence.
(1) Lvdagun - 驴打滚 pronounced "lu da gun", a popular Beijing snack made from sticky rice coated with fried bean flour and stuffed with red bean paste. That unique hanyu pinyin, ü, is usually substituted with the letter v on the keyboard, hence its unique spelling. If you directly translate it into English, the meaning is "Rolling Donkey" XD)
(2) Tanghulu - 糖葫芦 another popular Beijing snack made from coating Chinese Haw in sugar syrup that was then hardened.
(3) Wang Badan - I was lazy and couldn't come up with a good name, so I decided to directly use the term Wang Badan as his name. When translated to English, it means something like bastard, asshole, etc.
(4) My dad is Wang Gang - play on infamous chinese internet meme, "My Dad is Li Gang" (我爸是李刚). This came about in 2010, when a drunk Li Qiming hit and run 2 university students. When arrested by security guards, he shouted, "go ahead, sue me if you dare. My dad is Li Gang!" Li Gang was the deputy director of the local public security bureau, (something like the deputy director of the police in that province, aka a big shot) so Li Qiming thought he could get away with it. The government tried to suppress it, but it backfired. You can google Li Gang incident for more info, cuz I can't include links here. :(