Bones and Haruo

"This dance class sucks! I wanna refund!' complained Sayaka to her
friend, "Thirty minutes twice a week for a month, and all we do is repeat the
same stupid moves that we did on the first day!"
"And only the same two steps!" added the friend, "The stupid song
that we have to sing doesn't help, either. Or the intro. Do we really have to
say Let's do our . . . COSSACK DANCE!' every time?"
"You're right. Let's demand a refund!"
The two girls walked angrily to the counter.
Epilogue: Bones and Haruo's School of Russian Dance closed soon after its
opening.

Nino-kun

Nino-kun sat in a circle of chairs with Dave, David, Davy and Bob. He
had abandoned his ridiculous updo in favor of a more mature green ponytail.
One could even say he looked semi-professional despite his childish
appearance, holding a clip board across his lap. He had the intelligence of an
adult but kids were comfortable talking to him, ideal for his profession.
"What's your story, Dave?" he asked.
Dave started crying. "AAAAAAAAUGH!"
"Don't worry, Dave, I know the feeling. The feeling of being molested
by an adult close to you. The humiliation of being forced to pose for a sick
photo collection. And I want you to know, IT CAN be overcome. YOU WILL
heal with time."
Epilogue: Nino became a successful church psychologist for the Altar Boys of
St. Augustus Association.

Toilet Hanako

Ah, restroom attendants. To most people, a restroom annoyance
second only to pay toilets. They're lousy bums who get cash just for sitting
on a chair and handing you a paper towel. But Hanako-san may have made
the Top Ten Restroom Attendants of All-Time List. (If there was such a
list.)
A scruffy-lookin' guy sauntered into the restroom, the cleanest room
in the building, in more ways than one. His eyes were riveted to Hanako's
striking restroom attendant uniform, which was more like a Playboy bunny's
than anything else.
"Would you like a paper towel for 100 yen?" chirped Hanako, "Or a
flash for 1000 yen?"
Epilogue: Hanako-san turned out to be Employee of the Month, every month,
at Bob-san's XXX Bob Shack right off of Highway 69.

The Giant

"CUT! You see, this thing is called a SCRIPT and you have to say LINES.
Let's try this again."
The cameras started rolling. The Giant starting stomping.
"Whoa. Stop that! Stand still, god dammit! You have to let the
cameras pan up to your FACE! All we've got are shots of your feet! And try
saying those lines, again."
After a freak accident which killed the actor who played Hagrid, a
replacement was needed for Harry Potter 7: Hairy Pimper and the Ghetto of
Doom. Somehow, though, it never was the same.
Epilogue: After a brief stint in acting, the Giant was reduced to be a literal
walking advertisement. He stood in front of a shoe store to attract
customers.

Mirror Girl

"Ooh, what an amazing special effect!"
"How'd they do that?"
"Must be computer graphics!"
"CG at a carnival? Yeah, right. There's probably just someone behind
the mirror, mimicking our movements."
Akiko put her face right up to the mirror to check. So did the Mirror
Girl.
"Ah, nope, it's definitely a mirror, not a window."
Epilogue: The Mirror Girl was the star fun house attraction a House of
Mirrors.

Chairman

Saitou High had been close down by a disgruntled PTA for five years,
but that didn't stop the Chairman from being a Chairman til the end, trying
constantly to organize Saitou High Holy Council Reunions. Occasionally a
distracted Kazumi or Asahina would show up, but Haruto was the only one
who consistently avoided them.
The Chairman grew nearer and nearer to achieving his goal of creating
an Alumni Student Council. Or, at least, he liked to convince himself that. He
decided to try to call Haruto again. Haruto would be weared down eventually.
"Hi, this is Haruto . . ."
"Haarruuutooo," moaned the Chairman.
". . . and I'm sorry I'm not here to take your call. Unless you're the
Chairman. If you are, I RESIGN! I RESIGN! I RE--"
The Chairman hung up the phone in disgust.
Epilogue: The Chairman chased Haruto for decades, until . . .
"Chairman, I'm on my death bed. Can't you leave me alone?"
"NO!" the Chairman yelled proudly.
"At least death will be my only escape from you," Haruto grumbled.
The Chairman smiled. "Haruo, have you forgotten what I am?"
"OH MY GOD!"

Aka Mantle-kun

Aka Mantle gave a speech to his crowd of adoring students.
"First, name yourself after an item of clothing. It really makes the
ladies flock to you."
"Dry-Cleaned Business Suit," tested a student.
"Excellent! Next, give the ladies vague speeches that sound helpful but
mean nothing."
"Stand Strong. Keep the shine in your heart."
"And believe in yourself. Never give up!" added another student.
"Marvelous!"
Epilogue: Aka Mantle's Finishing School for Gentleman (Or How to Score with
Chicks) always had a large graduating class, but somehow his students never
had Aka Mantle's success rate.