Disclaimer- I sadly, do not own Hellsing, Rammstein, Pirates of the
Caribbean, or anything else that may appear here.
Chaos of Hellsing
Chapter1- An unknown blood
Sir Integral Wingates Hellsing ran her hand through her long blond hair and took out a cigar. For once, Alucard was not in her office . Not
lurking in the shadows of the room. Not mocking her, and not watching her creepily like he so often does. He was not there, but in his underground quarters.
Which, was a good thing considering what she had been working on for the last three days.
Walter walked into the room looking very tired, and carrying a small vanilla folder labeled " Sage". " I have managed to track her down Miss. Hellsing.
Integral looked at him with sleepy eyes. " Where is she Walter?"
The old butler looked down. " A small orphanage in..California..America."
Integral grimaced. ' Not only is the girl in America, but she is in
California..just my luck' She thought.
" Well Walter, I suppose we shall have to go an fetch her."
Walter's eyes grew bit bigger for a second. " We Sir Integral?"
Integral took a puff of her nearly finished cigar.
" Of course we. I must be there to welcome the newest member of the
Hellsing family, and possible heir." She said.
Walter looked at her a bit sheepishly. " Of course, my apologizes." He
said while bowing and leaving to get things around for their trip.
Sir Integral dropped her head to the desk and let it lie there.
" What in god's name am I doing? Hellsing will be completely unguarded
in my absences. I banish the thought of leaving Alucard to watch after
it. What a predicament. I suppose I shall not be going..." She whined
to herself.
Alucard bumped his head on the top of his coffin.
" Owww! STUPID THING!" he shouted flinging the top off. He rubbed his
head. "Humph!."
He looked around the dark room, his head pounding, and his
eyes blurry with sleep.
His gaze wandered to the box he had recently found while
on a mission.
It was a square box, with bold red letters that spelled " Pizza".
Alucard picked it up and smelled it.
" What the hell is this?" he asked himself. The smell had first
attracted his attention.
He opened the box and pulled out a maggoty slice of what was once
pizza. He saw the worms crawling all over it.
" Humans..eat this? How utterly vile. Eating dung worms. Blah, the
human race is so pitiful." He said slinging the box across the room.
He sat down in his chair, his arms crossed.
' I'm so bored..Seras..want to play?'
Seras's voice loomed into his mind.
' I am sorry master, but I am currently getting ready for a mission'
Alucard's lip curled. ' WHAT!? A MISSON!? WHY WASN'T I TOLD!'
Seras's voice became squeamish in her master's rage
' Ummm...because you were not suppose to know.'.
Alucard pouted
' And why is that!?' he thought to her.
' I don't know, ask Sir Integral'
had her arms folded behind her head, and a walkman on her stomach.
Her eyes were closed as she listened to what seemed to be German
streaming forth from her earphones.
She opened her mouth and sung along with the song.
DU HAST
DU HAST MICH
DU HAST MICH GEFRAGT
DU HAST MICH GEFRAGT UND ICH HAB NICHTS GESAGT
WILLST DU BIS DER TOD EUCH SCHEIDET
TREU IHR SEIN FUR ALLE TAGE
NEIN
WILLST DU BIS ZUM TOD DER SCHEIDE
SIE LIEBEN AUCH IN SCHLECHTEN TAGEN
NEIN
She shouted to a tune that only she could hear making her sound dumb.
A girl with dark skin, and long black hair looked up side down at her
from the top bunk.
" Hey Sage, you got any pop for me?...please?!"
The girl on the bottom bunk continued with the strange song, seemingly
in her own little world.
A look of annoyance came into the girl on the top bunks face. She
pulled back her pillow, aiming it, and threw it at Sage.
" OY! I SAID I WANT POP!"
Sage jumped hitting her head on the top bunk.
" NO RAY RAY I DON'T HAVE ANY POP! YOU DON'T HAVE TO THROW THINGS AT US!" she said rubbing her head.
Ray Ray looked confused. " Us?" she asked scratching her head.
" Yes US! SAGE AND ME!" she shouted throwing Ray Ray's pillow back at
her. It hit her in the head then fell to the floor.
Ray Ray gazed at the Brownish-red headed girl before lifting her
head back up.
" Ok, but when you get some...and you don't want it, I will
take it." She said.
Sage shook her head, her blue eyes glittered oddly in the dim light.
" Ok Ray Ray"
- Alucard stood behind Integral, who had fallen asleep on her desk.
He picked up the folder she held in her hands.
" Sage? Is master investing in spices?" he asked himself quietly.
He looked into his master's mind.
Integral was in a dress, and stood by a man that looked to be
a pirate
Integral- But Jack! We must get back the Black Pearl!
Jack- yes, I know, but that damned Balbosa told me I couldn't get
the says something not understandable so you see love, I can't until
I find the gold ye savvy?
Integral Yes..But what about..the...FREAKs? They will be swarming
this area!
Jack- shakes his head Don't worry love, I'm captain Jack Sparrow,
I'll save you!
Integral- Wraps her arms around him Yes, how could I have
doubted you!
Jack- gets an evil smirk as he-------
Alucard vacates mind quickly
" BLAH! MASTER HAS MUSHY FANTAISEIS!" Alucard said tripping over
himself and falling to the floor. He looked on her desk as a DVD box
sat on it.
" Pirates of the Caribbean".
" Blah! He was.he was..BLAH!" Alucard said picking up the box.
Alucard was scanning over it when he heard the clickof a gun and something jab into his rib.
" Heh...nice to see you up master...have a nice dream about
Johnny Depp..or should I say Jack?"
Those were the last words he spoke before his head was promptly blown
off. -Seras stood beside Walter.
She held an official document from the Queen to give to this Mrs.
Mathews that stated that Sir Integral would make a good parent.
She pulled at her short skirt nervously.
" Walter, you don't think it's improper do you?" she asked the old man
next to her.
Walter smiled " Yes a bit Miss Victoria, but it will do."
Seras blushed. She just knew that it would be.
' Stupid clothes' she thought to herself.
Mrs. Mathews walked through the door dragging behind her the14 yr. old girl they had been sent to fetch.
No doubt she was kin to their master. She looked like a small
Integeral clone, but with a different color of hair, and shape of her
eyes.
She wore long baggy pants, and a black t-shirt that had the words
"Ice" written across it.
Her eyes held the same coldness as Integra's did.
Seras smiled brightly at her. " Hello! I am Seras! And this is
Walter!"
The girl nodded respectfully to them, but remained silent.
Mrs. Mathews sat down and took the letter from the queen from Seras.
" So this Integral has sent all the papers that needed to be signed to
our office this morning via fax, and this is an astonishing letter of
recommendation.so..the girl is yours, as soon as I see some ID."
Walter fumbled around his vest and pants pockets until he found his
billfold. He handed it to the woman. -Alucard, head now formed back, scowled at Integral.
Integral, now out of bullets, scowled at Alucard.
Alucard's eyes glittered with fire.
"WHAT IS IT!?" he shouted.
" NONE OF YOUR CONCERN!" Integral shouted back at him clinging to the
file for dear life.
Alucard lurched for her.
" ALUCARD STOP THIS INTSANT OR IT WILL BE BACK TO THE DOUNGEON FOR YOU!"
Alucard grimaced.
" Just tell me what it is! I am gonna die!...Again! common! Tell me! I
just want to know!" He whined just before a glass vase hit him in the
face and shattered.
" OW! MASTER THAT WASN'T NICE AT ALL!" he shouted at her while also
dodging a paperweight.
Integeral picked up the DVD box that had been on her desk and hurled it at him.
" NO! ITS NOT FOR YOU TO KNOW!"
Alucard caught the DVD.
" So ...throwing your lover at me now?" he mocked.
Integral picked up her gun that had been discarded on the floor after
she ran out of ammunition and threw it strait at his head, where it
hit it's target.
"Shut your vile trap vampire! You know nothing about it! GO AWAY! I AM
NOT TELLING YOU! YOU WILL FIND OUT WHEN GOD PROCLAIMS IT SHALL BE SO!OUTNOW! NOW! GO!" she shouted pushing a stunned Alucard out into the
hallway and slaming the door in his face not remembering he could just walk through it.
But he didn't, he just stared at the door. -Sage sat next to the window gazing out of the airplane.
Seras was in the back talking to Walter. " So...how is that Sir Integral is related to Sage again?" said Seras still somewhat confused.
Walter sighed.
"I shall try to explain it once more. Sir Integeral had another uncle that was never known about until recently, not even I knew about him. Sir Integral's grandfather had courted another woman before her grandmother. This had resulted in a child. For some reason, the couple divorced and before they could decide who got the child, the woman rushed off to America."
"There the child grew and took a bride, and so forth until Sage came to existence." SaidWalter.
Seras scratched her head.
" Ohhhh"
A woman came up to Sage.
" Hun, can I getcha anything?" she asked.
Sage grinned widely.
" I would like a box of sugar packets, and a bucket of ice.!"
The woman looked at her oddly. " Ok..." she said going to get the ordered stuff.
He grabbed a nearby painting of Dr. Van Hellsing and threw it at the door.
" FINE THEN! GO DREAM ABOUT YOUR PIRATE LOVER BOY YOU WENCH!"
With that he stormed down the stairs knocking random servants against the wall.
" Stupid woman...sage...Peh!..spices..die.." he muttered to himself.
A wave of annoyance washed over him from his child.
' Seras? What's wrong?' -78 sugar packets, and 32 ice cubes later....
Sage acted like she was running while looking out the window.
" I am FAST!" she said before converting to act like she was superwoman.
"WEEEEEEE!" she shouted to Seras who was now sitting right next to her after having taken away all the ice and sugar.
Sage pointed out the window.
" Seras, there is a horsy on the plane's wing pooing, and it says it wants some oats."
Seras sweatdroped.
" Um..yeah." she replied to the hyper girl.
Sage looked out the window in awe.
" It just shit on a baboon named Taco!"
A/N: Ok that be the end of this chapter, in the next one Sage meets Alucard, and Sir Integral...yesh...chaos insues..O.o