"I spoke to God today, and she said that she's ashamed. What have I become, what have I done..."
In the corner of a broken down shed, a young man of eighteen sat, with blood dripping down his face, thinking about the choices in his life that led him there...
He remembered when he was four and was told to take Sammy and run. He was so confused and scared that day, but he had to be brave for his little brother. He promised he would protect him afterall.
He remembered when he was eight and was told that the job was all that mattered. He had told his father he wanted to be a fireman. It was a show and tell type thing and he really didn't know what he was thinking telling John that.
"I spoke to the Devil today, and he swears he's not to blame. And I understood, cause I feel the same."
He remembered when he was twelve and his dad used him as live bait for the first time. He remembered the look his dad gave him as he told him to man up after he asked him why he would do that. He never asked John why again.
He remembered when he was sixteen looking out of a window and seeing the same thing happening to Sammy if he had left. Sammy, his little brother, usually so pristine you could pull him through an iron and he'd still look precisely the same. John didn't even bother doing up Sammy's sleeves.
"Arms wide open, I stand alone. I'm no hero and I'm not made of stone..."
Dean used to believe in angels even when his dad didn't. Hunters didn't, but there had to be angels if there were demons, right? Had to be Heaven if there was Hell.
As he looked up at the ceiling that day with the body of a nine year old boy lying lifeless in front of him, he gave up that belief. There was nothing that could save him now... Nothing that should want to either.
"... right or wrong, I can hardly tell. I'm on the wrong side of Heaven an the righteous side of Hell"
That was the day that Dean gave up and the Winchester legacy finally began.
The lyrics in quotation marks are from a song called Wrong side of Heaven by Five Finger Death Punch. I, obviously, do not own it.