Chapter 1: Moon

Author's note: Many people write one way or the other and often people simply die with no effect, life and people do not work that way. I wanted to write something short and a little deep. I could take it further however for now it is meant as a oneshot.

Edit: Thankyou to wolfygirl13, because of your review I went over it and realized I had some typo's. I went through and did some edits to the story to improve upon such things. As far as the complex concepts, I am vague on purpose. It is rated T for Teen after all and other things, well I feel it adds more depth to not shove everything in peoples faces, the interactions are a bit more 'real' to the characters to not have them plainly saying everything outright, especially sesshomaru. I do apologize it took me so long to get around to fixing those and making it flow a little better but I have been swamped. If I missed any typo's please let me know. It is after all, very late where I am as I type this up and ready it to post. Please let me know if you prefer this or the previous version more.

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A woman with a sad soft featured face stood looking into the distance, long ebony locks curled in the wind as it changed direction once again. The woman's toes touched the edge of a cliff, a straight drop into jagged rocks at the edge of endless ocean. Blue eyes held steel against the world, a wall built to protect her. The woman closed her eyes, listening. Leaves rustling in the wind, bird calls signaling they felt safe to give themselves away, wings beneath the wind, a rabbits feet along the ground as the went about their life.

The woman lifts her foot to step off the cliff and fall to the rocks below only for the sounds to disappear and her foot to be brought back to solid ground. "What is it Sesshomarusama?" She asks without turning to face him. Silence reigned for but a moment until small feet can be heard hitting the ground and her eyes widen imperceptibly. "Kagome please don't leave me alone." She turns and looks straight at Sesshomaru with Shippou standing quietly by his side crying with almost imperceptible sniffles. Sesshomaru inclines his head towards Shippou looking intently at her. "Miko" His utterance of that one word embodying a command unspoken. He turns and walks away leaving her and Shippou. Kagome leaves the cliff's edge and holds Shippou running her fingers through his red orange hair. Her eyes close, not a word is said. She holds him tightly and her eyes, perhaps it is telling, are no more dry than Shippou's.

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Their is no limit to what evil can do for evil lacks constraint, discipline, accountability and most of all they demand to be treated as if they have all those things not understanding one cannot respect such a person, only fear or revile, often both. Without self discipline or someone to hold them accountable even the best intentions can turn sour and in so doing sour the person themselves.

Kagome and Shippou left the cliff into the forest walking, through trees, over roots, through bamboo, past a hotspring, through more trees and more bamboo until they reached camp. She could sense Lord Sesshomaru nearby. It was nightfall when they arrived and Shippou's breath had evened out to sleep in her arms. It was a nice camp under a small outcrop of rock, a shallow cave one might even call it. Shielded by trees and bamboo, far from paths people would usually tread. Kagome settled Shippou into an orange sleeping bag, her sleeping bag. Shippou barely stirring as she did so. She set to work gathering kindle to put in their campfire that had long burnt out. Small dry twigs set atop sticks that would burn a long while. She worked a hole into a special branch and stabilized a second stick between her hands. Rubbing her hands with the stick twisting, she got a fire lit.

Stabilizing the flame and adding a few sticks for good measure Kagome assessed her surroundings. Shippou was sleeping, sniffling occasionally, an owl hooted in the distance, crickets chirped, a firefly danced nearby on a bamboo stalk, and Lord Sesshomaru still lingered nearby. "Why?" No answer was given but silence and the sound of the night. Kagome settled into what thing the stars and listening to the sounds of the night, eventually falling asleep.

Tears. Screams. Miroku's voice. "Kagomesama!" She could hear the blood rush through her ears. Breaths heavy. Ground beneath her feet pounding with every step. Smoke. Miasma. The feeling of the ground meeting her body as it fell. Head pounding. Pulse roaring in her ears. Sango's voice "Hoshisama!" Blood splattered across the ground from a place she could not quite see. "HOSHISAMA! MIROKU!" Desperate screaming. Dread. Deep dark grasping at her heart. Kagome lay helpless. Eyes not quite focusing on anything, feeling numb, empty, starring out at the world not really seeing it. They had been wrong. So very wrong. Everything was just wrong. Wrong. WRONG! So many dead. So many more screaming. Dying around her. She was dead wasn't she? She was in hell. Hell. That's it. Judgment had been passed on her for shattering the Shikon no tama, that was it. Had to be it. This couldn't be real.

Naraku was dead but they hadn't won, not really. Shippou lay near her his face frozen in a silent scream eyes starring blankly at her as her own body dripped liquid red and she only prayed he would go to a better place or was alive and she was dead paying for her crimes, that her death would be swift to join him, that it was her that was already dead and not him. She was only vaguely aware of familiar rough hands roving her body, bringing her back just a little while it simultaneously pushed her further away. Shredding her clothing. Shredding her body. She couldn't bring forth the strength to scream as her body was taken and Inuyasha took the only thing she'd yet to give in a red eyed haze. Death settling over her as he stilled only to fall atop her as his head rolled on the ground.

Kagome eyes shot open with a gasp. A cold sweat and tears streaking Down her face. That was how she awoke. The night was still young she noted. She needed a bath, not just for the feeling of filth that was sunk into every fiber of her being but honestly, she already knew no amount of bathing would make that go away. She tried. For several years she did nothing but try. The dirt. The blood. Everything. Nothing ever washed away the filth that had embedded itself within her very being that day. She felt it still, her skin crawling, felt it, the blood on her hands. So many capable warriors, so many better people had died and she was the one to live.

She had not even realized she had reached the river, cold on her skin. She did not even bother to strip as she walked straight into it and rubbed her skin. It wasn't enough so she used her nails. Blood trailed down one arm where she scratched too hard trying to get the filth off of her. Out of her. But she knew the truth. It would never go away.

She could still feel Lord Sesshomaru nearby. Heedless of her state as he stood near the edge of the river Kagome made a decision. "Lord Sesshomarusama, may I speak with you?" Not word was spoken however Lord Sesshomaru inclined his head barely perceptible, if she hadn't been around him as much as she had she wouldn't have noticed. His eyes bore into her, looking straight into her own and despite the aloofness the intensity unmistakable. "Why, Sesshomarusama do you keep saving me? All I am is a reminder that honor has been broken. Why waste your time on me?" Her eyes she'd tears at that moment frustration, pain, and desperation frantically grasping at her very soul as she grasped for any reason in a world that ceased making sense. Her clothing sloshed, heavy at her expressive movements in her passion at such statements. Why wouldn't he let her die?! He said nothing. He moved simply into the water. Her arm sporting a small thin trail of blood as his eyes flickered to it and then back to her eyes again.

He turned to leave, "Dress Miko", his head inclining to a spare kimono she did not even realize he had brought with him and before she could stop herself her hand was on his sleeve stopping him. "Why?" He didn't answer. "I don't understand." She said her voice cracking. "Why? I have no value. I'm filthy. Why take care of me? I couldn't save them, any of them. I couldn't even save Shippou let alone myself. You should let me die. Why would you let me die? WHY?!" His words cut like a heated knife against butter. "Fool." Yet despite his word his boa wiped a stray tear off her cheek. Too stunned to hold onto Sesshomaru's sleeve and feeling partial comfort she hadn't thought possible, his sleeve slipped through her fingers as Sesshomaru walked back towards her little campsite to leave her in peace.

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Rabbit skewered over the fire. Kagome's bow Sat beside her against the rock within the outcropping, Shippou just waking as the sun rose in the distance humming a tune she taught him from the future.

Breakfast that morning shortly after was eaten with Shippou filling the air with chatter about his latest drawing. What berries he found to turn to inks and how he could make them into paints. In the morning light one could see how he had painted an area of the rock with a beautiful scene featuring a rainstorm in the distance, flowers of many kinds coloring the ground, a fox starring back at anyone who looked at the work of art. Shippou had outdone himself. It seemed though he wasn't finished however, at least he insisted so.

"Shippou. Why do you stay with me?" Kagome asked quietly, numbly. He looked so innocent, so confused. "Why wouldn't I?" Suddenly his face went downcast. "If you don't want me anymore I'll go. If that will make you happy I'll go and you won't have to keep trying to leave me." Her arms wrapped around the crying Kitsune kit. Her voice barely above a whisper. "No Shippou. It's not you. Nothing is more precious than you are to me Shippou." "Then why?! Why do you keep trying to leave me alone?!" He wailed heartbroken and confused. Her voice, a little louder cracked as the tears leaked into her voice as it broke like the waves on the rocks she had thought to smash her body against at the bottom of the cliffs no end of times. "I'm not. Shippou I want you to listen to me very closely. It's not your fault. I wasn't strong enough. I'm not strong enough." "No! No! NO! It's wrong! Your wrong!" Shippou cried out before running off and burrowing himself in the sleeping bag.

She felt her heart stab, like a knife twisting deep inside her soul and lost what will she had left when she heard him sobbing. She slumped against the rock and her eyes starred unfocused into the distance. 'If I never move might I finally die?' She felt the heaviness of her body seep in, a sliver of miko ki returned to her body from nearby. 'Might I just lay here until death finally takes mercy upon me?'

The sleeping bag deflated and a small paper was left. Shippou the shikigami was gone.

'If I never move might I just die go as my heart has gone?'

The reality of his absence only filled the space even more with the end of the Shikigami construct. Her memory flashed to his beautiful green eyes full of life and again to them suddenly starring out lifeless, empty, a hand still reaching for her. "Miko. Enough." "It is never enough. Every breath hurts so much. Why? Why won't you let me die? A life without my son is not a life! Why won't you just let me die?! They are all dead! Let me go with them!" Her voice but a whisper despite the crazed fierceness even to her own ears. "Hn" His only response beyond the tip of his boa ever so slighting finding the her shoulder as he stood beside where she sat.

A broken whisper.

"Why?"