1It was only supposed to be one kiss.
One kiss to prove to Johnny that he could kiss him and feel nothing. One kiss to prove to Johnny that he was over him. Only things hadn't worked out as planned.
One Week Earlier
"What's it going to take to convince you that we're over?" Lucas asked.
"Let me kiss you," Johnny said.
"What?" Lucas asked.
"You heard me," Johnny said. "Let me kiss you and if you can walk away and you're not affected, I'll accept that we're over and I'll leave you alone."
Lucas stared at Johnny a few moments. God, he wanted to kiss him. He wanted to swallow his stupid pride and admit it was a mistake breaking up with Johnny and take him back. But he couldn't. He was sick of getting pushed aside because Johnny had to deal with 'the family business.' But one kiss wouldn't change anything. He could walk away from Johnny after one kiss. Tonight he'd kiss Johnny, then tomorrow things would go back to the way they were. "Fine," Lucas said.
Johnny slowly smiled and stepped forward closing the distance between them, "I missed this," Johnny whispered, his breath hot against Lucas's mouth.
Johnny ran his hand along Lucas's jaw and cupped his face in his hand. Johnny brushed his lips over Lucas's and when Lucas started to pull back, Johnny slid his hand behind Lucas's head, pulling him closer and deepened their kiss. Johnny groaned as Lucas kissed him back then his eyes flashed open in surprise as Lucas broke their kiss.
Lucas wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, "Satisfied?" Lucas asked. "I didn't feel a thing, so you can leave me alone now." Lucas smiled and turned to leave.
"Lucas, this thing between us - it isn't over," Johnny called as Lucas walked away. "We're not over."
Except, it had to be over. He was sick of having a boyfriend and spending no time with him. There was always something more important than him for Johnny to deal with and he was sick of being an afterthought. At least with them broken up, he knew exactly where he stood on Johnny's list of priorities.
Being with Johnny was nothing like he'd ever experienced before. Johnny was dangerous and sexy and made him feel things he'd never felt before. It killed him to break off that kiss and walk away when all he wanted to do was let Johnny drag him in the back room and kiss him until he was senseless. But if he didn't walk away from Johnny, it'd be more of the same and he couldn't live his life as an afterthought.
Lucas shoved an envelope in his jacket pocket and got out of his car, slamming the door behind him. He broke up with Johnny a little over a month ago, and just when he thought things were finally over between them Johnny kissed him and promised to leave him alone. Only he wasn't living up to his side of the bargain. And now he couldn't stop thinking about Johnny.
The two months leading up to his breakup with Johnny, he'd gotten used to spending time without him. He had more of a relationship with Johnny's voicemail than he did with him. But once it was actually over between the two of them, he couldn't stop thinking about him. Almost every song he heard made him think of Johnny. His closet was filled with Johnny's shirts. Everywhere he turned he was confronted with some memory of him, and after two weeks of not seeing Johnny at all. He was everywhere he went, including Maxie's birthday party last week.
After their kiss, Johnny was supposed to leave him alone. It was hard enough to get over him, it was even harder when Johnny wouldn't leave him alone. Suddenly the man who had no time, had all the time in the world to pursue him.
Lucas nodded at the guard at the Zacchara Estate, "Is Johnny home?" he asked.
"Go right in Mr. Jones," he said.
Lucas shoved his hands in his pockets and walked inside the mansion, looking around the foyer before entering the living room. "You can't keep doing this," Lucas said, tossing the envelope on the nearest table.
Johnny glanced at the envelope then slowly moved his gaze up Lucas's body before settling on his face. "Good, you got the tickets," Johnny said.
"And I don't want them," Lucas said. If Johnny thought he could buy him off with tickets, he was mistaken. Front row tickets to see one of his favorite bands wasn't going to make him forget about all the times Johnny canceled their plans. Johnny had been sending him tickets everyday. First it was tickets to a Giants game, then a concert. After that it was an art exhibit, a comedy show, a play on Broadway and now more concert tickets.
"Maxie said you wanted to go but it was sold out - "
"You're talking to my cousin about me?" Lucas asked. He loved Maxie, but sometimes she just needed to mind her own business. She needed to stay out of his romantic life and focus on her own.
"Yeah," Johnny said. "Don't be mad at her. She saw us kissing at her birthday party and wanted to help."
"Help with what?" Lucas asked. "I let you kiss me and you were supposed to leave me alone. Sending me tickets everyday doesn't fall under the category of leaving me alone."
"I didn't invite you here," Johnny said. "You showed up on your own, I think it's you who is not leaving me alone. Now that you're here, do you want to go to that concert?"
"What makes you think I want to go with you?" Lucas asked.
"You're here, aren't you?" Johnny asked.
Lucas closed his eyes briefly as he realized that he'd just been played. He did exactly what Johnny wanted. He was betting on the fact that he was irresistible. And he was. But that wasn't the point. "Is this a game to you?" Lucas asked. "You're enjoying the chase and - "
"What's your problem? You said you wanted to spend more time with me. I'm offering to take you to a concert - "
"What's my problem? What's your problem? I wanted to spend time with you six months ago, three months ago, a month ago," Lucas said. Things were great between them when he had Johnny's undivided attention. Unfortunately, he could count those times on one hand. There was always some situation that needed his attention, and he was the one left while Johnny went to deal with it. "Now that we're over you suddenly have time for me. Do you know how many times I turned down my friends because I had plans with you? And out of all those times, how many times was I the one sitting home alone on a Friday night? Or left alone at Club 101?"
"It's not like I wanted to ditch you," Johnny said. "My schedule is unpredictable. You know that."
"That's not the point," Lucas said. "Just because I don't have to check on shipments and I'm not dragged down to the PCPD every other week it doesn't mean my time isn't as important as yours."
"You're right," Johnny said. "Do you think I enjoy canceling on you? Don't you think I'd rather be with you than being stared down by your cousin?" Johnny walked across the room and sat down, and motioned for Lucas to sit down next to him. "Lucas, we're good together. Don't give up on us. I'll delegate more of my responsibilities to people that work for me. Claudia's more than capable of taking charge on more things. She likes you, you know. You're the only guy I've dated that's gotten along with my sister. You also don't think she's certifiably crazy, that's gotta count for something."
Lucas laughed softly, "You've met Carly." Who was he to judge Claudia? His sister was certifiably crazy. A normal person would be jealous of Johnny's insanely close relationship with his sister. And he was, but not for the most obvious reason. He wasn't jealous that Johnny would lay down his life for his sister or that if there was ever a choice between him and Claudia, he'd choose her. He was jealous that he didn't have that sort of relationship with his own sister. Lucas shook his head, "I should go. I - "
Johnny rested his hand on Lucas's shoulder, "Don't," Johnny said, squeezing Lucas's shoulder and gently running his thumb over the back of Lucas's neck. "I know I can't make up for all the times I ditched you. I never wanted you to feel like you weren't important to me, because you are. More than you know. Lucas, I love you. I messed up and I - "
"Wait, what'd you say?" Lucas asked. He could've sworn that Johnny said he loved him.
"I messed up," Johnny said.
"No, before that," Lucas said, wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him.
Johnny paused for a second and slowly smiled, "I love you," Johnny said.
"You're not just saying that - "
Johnny cut Lucas off with a kiss. "Does it feel like I'm just saying it?" Johnny asked. He pulled Lucas closer to him and lowered his voice, "I love you. Don't say anything. You don't have to say it back if you're not ready." He gave Lucas a chaste kiss and teased him with short kisses that quickly grew in intensity.
Lucas groaned as Johnny's kiss become more demanding with each passing second. He could kiss Johnny forever and the only thing standing in his way was himself. Desperate for air, Lucas pulled back. "I lied," Lucas said.
"Lied?" Johnny asked.
"That night at Maxie's party," Lucas said. "I said I didn't feel anything when you kissed me. I lied." A million thoughts coursed through his mind that night and feeling nothing was the furthest thought from his mind. He liked Johnny, he was attracted to him and cared about him a lot but he wasn't sure he loved him. Not now anyway. Lucas reached for Johnny's hand, "Promise me something."
"What?" Johnny asked.
"You say you love me, prove it," Lucas said. "I'm not going to ask you to leave the mob or anything, but make me a priority." He needed to know exactly where he fell on Johnny's list of priorities. He didn't need to be at the top of the list, but he needed to be on there.
Johnny reached for Lucas's other hand and caught his gaze. "You are," Johnny said. "I've done a horrible job of showing you, but you are. That ends now."
A sense of relief washed over Lucas. If Johnny could make their relationship a priority, he could swallow his pride and start over with him. Lucas smiled and hugged Johnny. "I missed you," Lucas whispered. He quickly kissed Johnny and started fumbling with the buttons on Johnny's shirt.
"I guess you don't want to go to that concert," Johnny said as Lucas pushed off his shirt.
"Forget about the concert," Lucas said, laying down and pulling Johnny on top of him. He was sure that the desire filled look in Johnny's eyes matched his own. There was a small voice in his head telling him to slow down, to ease back into a relationship with Johnny but he didn't want that. He wanted Johnny, he'd never stopped.
"I can do that," Johnny said. Lucas groaned as Johnny pushed his shirt up, kissing his chest. Johnny raised his head and smiled at Lucas, shifting them on the couch, before leaning in to capture his mouth in another kiss. He rested his head against Lucas's forehead when he heard his cell phone ring. Johnny glanced at the caller id and sighed, "Lucas, I'm sorry. I have to take this." Johnny closed his eyes for a few seconds before answering, "What?"
Lucas sighed and pushed Johnny away when he heard Johnny's cell phone ring. He couldn't even begin to count the number of times Johnny pushed him away because he had an important call to take. Despite the promise he'd just made, it seemed like he was in for more of the same.
"I can't right now," Johnny said, reaching for Lucas's hand. "I'm in the middle of something important. I don't care. Just - just call my sister." Johnny hung up his phone and turned it to silent.
"You didn't have to do that," Lucas said. He knew that Johnny's business was important, that things were literally a matter of life and death. He wanted to be a priority in Johnny's life, but didn't need him to ignore his business.
Johnny nodded, "Yes, I did," Johnny said. "Lucas, you matter to me. I lost you once, I'm not going to lose you again."
Lucas smiled and pulled Johnny closer to him, "You're not going to lose me," Lucas said before kissing Johnny. He'd already tried walking away from Johnny and it hadn't worked. He could accept not being the most important thing in Johnny's life as long as he wasn't left on the sidelines every time something happened with the organization. Because there was no way he could spend another day not kissing this man.
THE END