I in no way own Glee or any of it's characters or affiliates.
Blaine walked through the halls of Dalton in a sort of trance. He didn't hear the laughing and chatting that the boys were doing as he passed them. He didn't see the smiles that were shared, or the glances that were sent in his direction. He didn't even care. He had thought that walking these halls felt empty after Kurt had switched back to McKinley. He had thought that the loneliness he felt when he wasn't able to see Kurt everyday was the most lost that he would ever feel, could ever feel. Now, though, he was positive that he had had no idea of this particular pain. The sharp pangs of Blaine's heart literally breaking were the most cutting aches that he had ever felt. After the past few weeks, the pains seemed to dull into a numbing daze. Blaine tried to keep his mind blank, not even daring to think of Kurt, instead choosing to avoid any activity or thought that might be hurtful.
At night was when Blaine let it go. In the worst cliché possible, he was nothing without Kurt. He was half of one piece, an incompletion that would never be whole. He could never be whole, not without Kurt.
When Kurt's heart stopped beating, Blaine's might as well have, too.
He could remember clearly being called out of class only to be told that Kurt and Finn had been in a car accident on their way to school on a rainy morning. Finn ended up severely hurt, in a coma that lasted almost two days. Kurt was killed on impact.
No matter how many times he had heard that it had been immediate and painless, it didn't change anything for Blaine. As grateful as he was to know that the love of his life hadn't suffered, it didn't change the anguish that he didn't expect to ever go away.
Blaine had never felt more alone in his entire life. His parents, though they were sympathetic, had never accepted or approved of Kurt in a way that would allow them to truly empathize with their son. He had pushed his friends away, for none of them could ever replace the witty and talented best friend that had been Kurt. Blaine really didn't want them to, anyways. As empty and dark as his world felt after the incident, he knew that there was no possible recovery for a very long time. He accepted it. While numbing himself down worked for the most part, particularly at school and in public, he couldn't completely repress the full extent of the pain.
He missed him. Blaine missed him with a longing that was worse than anything he had felt in his very worst nightmares. Kurt was the one that helped him to be free of any limits and inhibitions that he had before. Blaine's life was definitely satisfactory before he had met Kurt, but the beautiful boy on the stairwell changed something in him that made Blaine become the man that he didn't even know that he could be.
Blaine walked past the room where he had his first kiss with Kurt. The ghosts of the past remained as he peered through the open doors. He stood there, frozen as the memories poured back. He and Kurt had spent hours memorizing each other's faces and mouths and the way the other felt in this very room. He could almost see the surprised but pleased breathlessness that had been Kurt's expression after Blaine had given in to his urges and finally kissed him. Once he began allowing himself to think about it, he couldn't stop.
The memory from the first time that they held hands came to mind as Blaine continued walking through the school, destination forgotten. Kurt's hand had been just as soft as his porcelain skin appeared to be. Blaine remembered every one of their visits to the Lima Bean, where he quickly began falling in love with the beautiful boy who had been sent to spy on the Warblers. He remembered his confession of how he truly felt, and the amazing explosion of happiness when Kurt declared that his feelings were reciprocated.
From his first of many songs serenaded to Kurt, to their junior prom where they gave each other the strength that they needed, to an amazing summer of stolen kisses and missed curfews, Blaine looked back on his time with Kurt. He would have given anything to have even a little more. All he wanted, all he needed, was to see Kurt again. Only that would make his world okay again.
Finally making a decision on where to walk to, for he had already missed the beginning of class, Blaine abandoned his blazer and schoolbag in his dorm room. He walked down the streets of Ohio, not even noticing any of the few people that were out. He continued along for a very long time, loosening his tie just to give his mind something to focus on, until he arrived at the place he had been searching for. Blaine rolled up his sleeves before climbing onto the railing. He looked down, watching the cars for a few minutes as they drove steadily below him. Blaine closed his eyes.
He just needed to see Kurt again.