Noah Puckerman's Journal Entry December 29th, 2010

Dead beat asshole. That's me, Noah Puckerman, but honestly this is not what I want to be. I mean, sure, it's nice to have every dude in the school afraid of you and it's cool to get laid whenever you want, but... I don't know. It's like, now that I've dug myself this little niche, nobody would take me serious if I tried to do something else. You know, I'm a poet. I write songs and they are definitely not the types of songs people would expect me to. I'd totally get my ass beat and thrown into the social scene with all those Glee club pussies. Of course, I've always told the football team that the whole Glee thing was for shits and giggles, but it's not. I love singing. When I'm belting out all my jew tunes in front of the other Glee kids, I feel like a star. They clap with the beat, or sing along, and it's like I've got this audience watching me and I'm on top of the god damned world. Nobody can bring me down... well, until I step in the locker room and all the guys are talking about how Glee Club is for fags and drama queens. I laugh along, and talk shit too, but I just want to break those guys out into a song and show them how much fun it is. Whatever, you know, there are social boundaries, and it's useless for me to try and break them, I just wish I could.

Rachel Berry's Journal Entry December 29th, 2010

Dearest Diary,

I act so passive in regards to the constant barrage of insults and humiliation within the school, but it angers me to my core. People just can't understand that talent is not how far a girl can spread her legs in the backseat of a car, or the size of her breasts. I know I'm a prize in every respect, why can't everyone else see things that way? It's ridiculous. I have a beautiful voice, and I'm so knowledgeable. What is unimpressive about me? Frustrations, frustrations, Diary! Anyway, today was AWFUL Quinn Fabray posted pictures all over the school of me crying after Finn broke up with me. Anyways, as I reflect over my relationship with Finn, I realize I may not have even loved him. I think it may have been a result of my desperation, combined with the fact that he seemed to look at me as a person, not as the obnoxious diva, Rachel Berry. He had a very nice vocal ability, to boot! However, I have come to the conclusion that he is a superficial person, and he's not very smart. These two things, among others, leave several unchecked boxes on my checklist for a perfect companion. It just seems like there are no boys at this school can satisfy my needs, of which there are many.

Chapter One

Mr. Schuester stood before the Glee students with Barbra Streisand's name written on the board. Rachel was bubbling with excitement in her seat, looking prepared to give the club a lecture on how expansive Ms. Streisand's impact on American media was.

"Barbra Streisand was-" Mr. Schuester began, before being cut off by Rachel.

"I already know everything about Barbra Streisand!" She chimed in.

"Of course you do!" Santana snapped.

"Alright, Rachel, if you know SO much about her than I bet you wouldn't mind telling us what her first five albums were?" Will asked, looking irritated at Rachel's never ending attempts to outdo not only all of her fellow "Glee Clubbers", but him as well.

"The Barbra Streisand Album, The Second Barbra Streisand Album..." She paused, "Funny Girl, People, and My Name is Barbra," She glanced around the room to see everyone's impressed faces, and as usual, she saw none, but there was a confident smirk on Noah Puckerman's face.

"You missed The Third Album," He chuckled.

"Oh, yeah, what was it called?" Rachel hissed, appearing offended that anyone should contest her knowledge of the pop culture idol.

"It was called The Third Album," His chuckle had graduated to a laugh, and everyone began laughing along, including Mr. Schuester.

Rachel looked upset, and sunk down into her seat, arms folded she let out a statement attempting to redeem her broken ego, "Oh, yes, how silly of me, how could I have forgotten The Third Album. Personally I think it was one of her best efforts."

"Alright Rachel, we get it, you know Barbra Streisand better than any of us, but that's not what I wanted to talk to you guys about. I wanted to talk to you about showmanship. Barbra was a prime example of not only conveying your message through lyrics but through the emotion in your voice and through stage presence, like hand gesturing or movement."

"I dance. That counts as movement, right?" Brittany inquired.

"That's a great point, Brittany. Dancing is one example of motion, but what we've been doing is really just dancing with your body and moving more with the music than with the lyrics. I'm talking about getting on your knees and crying out on big notes. Holding clenched fists to your heart on more meaningful notes," Mr. Schuester responded.

"But I-" Rachel contested.

"Yes, Rachel, I know you can already do these things! I've just been noticing that it's a bit of an issue for the rest of you guys. So, without further ado, does anyone think they can show the class what I mean?"

The band room was silent and only the persistent hand of Rachel Berry stood erect. Everyone looked around uncomfortably.

"Rachel, I'd like to let someone else try," Will sighed.

Puck put his hand in the air, "I'll give it a shot, Mr .Schue!"

"Alright, great, show us what you've got!" Mr. Schue gave a quiet applause.

"I'll be singing Mrs. Robinson by Simon & Garfunkel," Puck said, before picking up his guitar.

Rachel grew more offended, as she watched Puck perform his song excellently before the group. The girls and boys stood and danced, singing along with the chorus, while she sat defiantly in her chair.

Noah had grabbed the lesson by the horns and he was owning it. Rachel knew that even if she could have given a better performance, she couldn't have ever gotten the class as involved. She had a tremendous capacity for choosing songs of which none of the other kids knew anything about.

When Glee got out, Rachel approached Noah in the hallway.

"Excuse me?" She shouted.

He jerked around, to look at her, before raising a questioning eyebrow, "Yeah?" He asked.

"What exactly was that back there? Was it really so important for you to catch me slipping up that you would go to the lengths of looking up Barbra Streisand's discography, while I on the other hand was recalling each of her albums from memory?"

"I didn't look it up," He smiled.

"Okay, so I'm to believe that I, who is cultured in all sections of the performing arts, theater, music, and musical theater, knows less about MY idol, than a sex driven hoodlum such as yourself?"

"Look, babe, face it, I know my jews."

"Don't you dare call me babe! And I know you! You don't listen to show tunes and you most definitely do not know more than me about them. You're taking me off subject, though! I'd just like to politely request that you stop attempting to embarrass me in front of the entire Glee Club."

"I wasn't trying to embarrass you, I was just trying to bring you back down to Earth. You don't know everything, and the sooner you learn that the better off you'll be. You're going to get torn apart in the real world, acting the way you do." Puck had effectively broken Rachel's defensive wall of false self esteem, "And I swear I didn't look it up! I don't even have my phone on me."

Rachel turned around and stomped off in a fit of frustration. She threw her short arms down straight by her sides, with clenched fists.