ive wanted to write this for so long. i dont think i did it justice but i still like it enough. hope y'all do too.
"Join my new club?"
Anna's voice was one in a sea of hundreds as she sat near the entrance to the cafeteria, attempting to get the attention of a student – any student. Mr Olaf had let her use the table that the Prom Committee normally claimed, but so far, no one was interested. It was nearly the end of the lunch break, and the sign-up sheet was still completely blank.
She was kind of to blame for that one – starting a club after the school year had already started. But, if it took her a few months to gain the courage, then that wasn't her fault, was it?
Sighing, she looked at the pamphlets she had painstakingly created – designed and decorated and printed, with all the information that anyone would need. Times, dates, and places, along with special activities. The first one, scheduled for that afternoon, was a simple meet-n-greet. She'd even made cupcakes.
This wasn't even her first attempt at gaining attention. Fliers had been distributed through the whole school. She'd asked Handsome Hans to be a spokesperson – he was a jock and they loved the sound of their own voice, right? – but he'd just laughed in her face.
"I'm not gonna tell people to join your dumb little club. I have better things to do," he'd said. Better things like chasing Elsa Arendelle, a new kid from Norway who had the looks of an angel and an attitude to match. It wouldn't be long before he charmed his way into her pants (and the thought made Anna sadder than she would admit).
She was brought out of her musing by a voice, and a shadow over her table. Wow, someone had actually stopped to see what it was about? Looking up, she gave them a smile.
"Hi there!" she said. "Would you like to join my club? First meeting is today!"
The boy raised a heavy hand to scratch the back of his head. She didn't recognise him, but he was probably around her age. Big, with black hair and a stubbly beard. He screwed his lips up in thought.
"What's it about?" he asked. Anna used the question to hand him a flyer, before launching into a prepared speech she'd forced herself to memorise.
"The South Isles Queer Society aims to provide a safe space and platform for people who identify in the LGBT-plus spectrum. Even if you don't identify, you're welcome because we want to build a partnership between those who do and those who don't identify on the spectrum, in order to educate and communicate."
Levelling another smile at him, she awaited his response with bated breath.
"Um... but I'm not a fag, 'n don't really want other guys hitting on me."
And with that, he was gone, the pamphlet fluttering to the floor, Anna's heart sinking with it.
Looking up, she didn't make eye-contact with anyone; they were all to focussed on not looking her way. If they didn't see her, they didn't have to interact. She caught Elsa Arendelle peeking at her for just a moment, before she too looked away.
It was hard, being the only out student in her school. She'd hoped that this venture would encourage others to step forward – after all, straight people could join, if they were willing to learn. She wasn't in the business of outing people.
The bell rang at that moment, and as every student scurried to pack up and head to class, Anna moved sluggishly. She stood at the door, holding out the pamphlets with a smile as everyone brushed passed her. Absolutely no one was interested. As she turned back to her table, someone, probably Hans or one of his lackeys, shoulder-checked her, pushing her out of the road. It hurt, but not as much as the pain of...being completely unsuccessful. She'd so wanted this to work.
She'd gotten a mentor, and booked a room. Later in the semester she'd planned on group outings, and special dates. Maybe... actually make a friend.
There was only one class left until home-time – in this case, club meeting time. Anna didn't pay any attention at all, doodling melancholically in her notebook. When the bell rang, she dragged her feet to the classroom she'd booked, passing her locker only to grab her stuff (and the cupcakes). She'd done thirty little ones, in the hopes that a few people would show. By the look of it, she'd be eating them all herself.
But, she was determined to see this through. Perhaps a student in need had seen the flyers or something, and told their friends. Perhaps another GSA was visiting the school for some reason and they decided to pop in.
Maybe Mr Olaf would take pity on her and they'd eat them all together.
Even that thought was hard to keep positive as the afternoon grew later and no one showed. She'd moved the desks, and placed the chairs in a circle. The clocked ticked 3:30, then 4, and no one. The meeting was only supposed to go for an hour. And no one showed up.
She couldn't help herself. All those years of loneliness, all abated because of this; only to have her hopes dashed anyway. There was no one in the school – it was too late. No one to see, or hear, her cry as she slowly put the room back the way it should be. Even the promise of chocolate cupcakes didn't help; no, they only made her feel worse because these were meant to be shared. She should have been laughing with new friends, talking to them like she'd never talked to anyone.
Instead she was sitting in an empty classroom, head in her hands and sobbing her heart out because maybe she wasn't meant to have friends. Maybe she wasn't meant to be cared about.
She was startled by the sound of a gentle knock on the door. The sound only made her want to sob harder because gods now the cleaners knew how pathetic she was. She turned in her seat, desperately wiping at her hands while trying to think of a more suitable excuse, when her mind emptied completely.
"I am sorry I am late."
Elsa Arendelle stood at the door, fingers dancing around each other as she looked to the floor.
"This is the, ah, "Queer Society" meeting, yes?"
Hastily wiping her eyes, Anna stood up. "Yeah- yes! Yes! I am Anna, I'm the founder and... only member at the moment." Holding her hand out, she retracted it so she could wipe it on her pants. It was still a little sticky with her tears, but Elsa took it anyway.
"I am Elsa Arendelle," she said, looking very guilty. "I apologise again for being late – I was stuck discussing an assignment with my English teacher. If I were in your shoes I would likely feel as you do."
Anna cringed. She probably did look terrible. Still, she tried to play it off. "Nah, I have. Allergies." Elsa didn't look very convinced, and she quickly broke away. "Also cupcakes. Would you like a cupcake?"
She didn't wait for a response, instead moving away from Elsa and towards her stuff. Something gave her pause, and she stopped halfway there, though.
This was too good. No one shows up, and then Elsa Arendelle arrives. The "Nordic Goddess", according to the football team (and...yeah, Anna herself in a private moment).
Letting out a sigh, she hung her head. "You can, uh, call everyone in now," she said softly to the floor. She couldn't bring herself to turn around and face Elsa because she'd probably start crying again. Let that be a lesson that she shouldn't bother hoping or dreaming, eh?
But Elsa spoke to her instead of anyone waiting in the corridor. "What do you mean?"
Anna shrugged. "All the jocks or shit waiting outside. Waiting to laugh at me. It's okay, it's happened before. Better to get it over with."
There was no noise for a second; nothing to indicate what Elsa was thinking or doing. After a few moments, she heard the girl's footsteps echoing through the room. Anna took a breath to steel herself of the probably horrible things about to occur.
Then she realised that Elsa's footsteps were getting closer, and if possible she felt herself become even smaller.
Elsa moved into her line of sight, slouching a little until they were level. She was tall and beautiful, with a pretty smile and a prettier laugh, and Anna did not expect her to reach out a hand and take hers; nor squeeze it and step even closer.
"I'm sorry," she said again, and Anna felt her resolve breaking. "I'm sorry for all your pain. And I'm sorry if I contributed to it."
This was pathetic. Anna was pathetic. She opened her mouth, but the only sound she made was a little gurgle before she tried again.
"Y-you're...not straight?" she asked softly. It felt almost rude to be asking like this, but Elsa shot her a soft smile that told Anna that she didn't mind. Elsa shook her head.
"I am very not-straight," she said. Her other hand came to grasp Anna's. "I may even be a lesbian," she said, that same smile still on her face. "And while I would love a girlfriend at some point, I know someone who needs a regular friend even more."
And that was the only warning she gave before her arms were wrapped around Anna in a tight hug that felt like friendship. It felt genuine.
It felt like nothing she'd ever felt before.