'There, there she is', was all he could even manage to say in his head as his eyes first met the idle of his dreams. He had longed to see her for so very long that he could do nothing but stare at her sweet, distraught, innocent face.

It had been six months since the departure of Rhydian from the only true home he had ever known, six months too long by anyones' standards – including the abandoned party's. Maddy was the best friend that Rhydian had ever had, and he left her, without even a goodbye for the girl he now realised he could not live without. He knew only how to exist when in his new pack, which he chose over his love and her pack in a blind, stupid and hasty decision. This changed both of their lives for the worse, and Rhydian regarded this decision as the biggest mistake of his life.

Rhydian wasn't the only person left lifeless by the choice he made to become wild in a bid to finally have the only thing he thought he could ever want, a family. Maddy had never been the same since. The distress caused by her loss had had an impact on everything about her. Her schoolwork had rapidly dropped from her usual B grade standard to just being able to scrape Ds. Even on full moon days she could not bring herself to break her usual slow pace of walking, when walking used to be unthinkable of doing when she could run. Her appearance had gone from that of a secret wolfblood, who took pride in her appearance without being too vein, to that of a vagrant who had no home. Of course her parents, Daniel and Emma, kept a check on their little girl by ensuring she remembered to simply do the basics required to appear normal, but they could do nothing about the dead look in her eyes or her recently gained tendency to constantly look down at the floor: even during a conversation with those now closest to her she could not bring herself to make eye contact.

Maddy had realised only through his loss how much Rhydian had meant to her – which only made it worse. As if the pain she could always feel in the left side of her chest, under her ribs, where her heart used to be before it was ripped out six months previously, wasn't enough, it was made worse by the fact that she felt it was all her own fault. Maddy couldn't help but think to herself 'If only I'd been honest about how I felt, not only with him but first of all with myself, I could have prevented all of this pain, no matter if he did or didn't feel the same. Honesty would have either let us be together, or allowed me to move on'. Maddy now thought of both outcomes as impossible as she was resigned to the decided truth in her mind that she would never see her one and only love again, meaning that she could never find out which scenario would be or could have been the outcome. She would forever be stuck in her never ending world of pain, always.

As Maddy thought this over in her head, like she did every night when she got into bed, every night with silent tears running down her face, she had no idea that her self-blaming and leaking eyes were being mirrored by him who they were meant for. Rhydian was perched in a tree at level with Maddy's window, unable to forgive himself for the pain he could see etched on Maddy's once happy and radiant face, for the simple fact that it was his fault. He wished he could have found an alternative to causing the emotional turmoil which was deeply felt by both, 'but what could I do?' He questioned himself, 'If I had stayed and been selfish, Ceri would never have given up trying to get me back. I know she would have eventually resorted to 'eliminating'', (as Ceri herself had once put it in a threat to him)' my whole reason for staying, my whole reason for living, just so that she could have back somebody else who could collect wood for her fire instead of her, or look after her other son, Bryn, so that she didn't have to, or hunt for food to fill her belly!' He was thinking aloud now, and had to stop in a bid to calm himself down, if he changed now his cover would be blown and he would be seen, and he couldn't deal with that. The look in her eyes of disappointment and hurt would be enough if she saw him, but the words he knew she'd say for leaving her and causing pain which seemed close to that which he felt himself, but which he knew could never be greater than as he also now had an increased level of self-loathing, due the sight in front of him, ('that would be impossible', he declared to himself). He knew that she'd tell him that she didn't want him, and this he really couldn't bear. 'She'll never want me again', was the main statement which clouded his mind as he continued to gaze into her no longer happy eyes, that was until the snap of a twig on the floor below his tree brought him back to his harsh reality…