A/N:This is for Round 5, Season 5 of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition. I did use an extension. The story is about 1,900 words long. My additional prompts were:
3(dialogue) "I wish you had told me before I… " / "What? Before you what?"
11 Flower of Love by Oscar Wilde
13 (color) ruby red
Hope you enjoy!
Remus couldn't blame them. He'd only mentioned his birthday to them once, their first year, and that had been an "I've been given permission to go home to see my mother for my birthday," when really he'd been in what was already coming to be known as the Shrieking Shack. Their second year the boy's now knew the truth, but Remus was still forced to transform. While the full moon did not fall exactly on his birthday that year, he did sustain significant injuries which required him to remain in the hospital wing for several days afterwards. He missed his birthday, and his friends and family were so worried about his condition that the idea of throwing some kind of party didn't really cross anyone's mind. Thus, there was no reason that any of his friends should have remembered his birthday this year.
A package had arrived from his parents that morning, but Remus preferred not to open it at the table. He didn't know what was in it, he didn't want to draw attention to himself, and if he had unpackaged it then, he would be forced to carry around, unboxed, whatever it was until he had a break in his schedule. This all seemed logical to Remus, but he couldn't shake the uneasy feeling he had when he realized none of the boys had pestered him about the package. Not even Sirius. Was this, coupled with the fact that all of them had yet to wish him a happy birthday this morning, a sign that they were ignoring him?
Of course not! the rational part of his brain told him. They're all just busy eating breakfast. Calm down. The bell rang for class, and lost in thought, Remus didn't notice, until James clapped him on the back. James wouldn't have made you get up if he didn't care, he reasoned, as he tiredly trudged out of the Great Hall behind his friends. He turned his head to the side to stretch his neck, and swore he saw Professor Dumbledore staring at him out of the corner of his eye. He shivered slightly and kept walking.
Remus loved his friends. Apart from his parents, Sirius, Peter, and James were the only friends he'd ever had. So, the fact that his friends appeared to have forgotten his birthday, however many times he reminded himself that it was a simple mistake, and he didn't really like celebrating his birthday anyway, made him more anxious as he hopped over the vanishing step. He trailed behind even Peter, who usually walked the slowest. James and Sirius didn't notice, because they were arguing about yesterday's Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson, but Peter kept glancing back at him with an odd expression.
See, Remus chided, Peter wouldn't behave like that if he didn't care about you. He smiled to himself, reassured, before another thought pushed its way in Peter may be paying attention, but James and Sirius certainly aren't. And what's with that guilty expression on Peter's face? Does he know they're planning to dump you? Remus frequently had to talk himself down from this line of thinking, and frankly it was exhausting.
Logically, of course, he knew that he was jumping to conclusions. He had no reason to believe that his friends were ignoring him or had any plans to stop being friends with him. Unfortunately the his illogical side was not letting up.
"Shut up!" Remus said aloud. Too loudly. James and Sirius turned just as they came to the classroom's doorway.
"What's that mate," James asked? Remus winced.
"Nothing, sorry." James smiled brightly, then turned on his heel and almost skipped into the filling room.
By lucky (or unlucky) happenstance, Remus ended up seated between Peter, and Lily Evans. This was lucky because Lily was one of those people who could make your whole day better simply by being in her presence. This was unlucky because James still had a ridiculously incurable crush on her and it made concentrating very hard for Remus. All throughout Professor Mcgonagall's lecture on turning rats into water goblets, James kept nudging Sirius, who nudged, Peter, who nudged Remus and handed him a note that was obviously meant for Lily. Now Remus was already in a sour mood, coupled with the fact that he was actually interested in Transfiguration, and in addition knew for sure and certain that Lily Evans had no interest whatsoever in James Potter, made him rather disinclined to comply with the unspoken request.
In the end there were about five notes piled in front of Remus' flawless water goblet, before Jame finally looked up and realized that Remus had no intention of passing the notes, and Lily was pointedly ignoring the entire situation. As the bell rang, Remus shoved the notes to the floor, shot an unmistakable glare at James, and nearly sprinted out of the room before anyone could follow after him. His face was heated with embarrassment as he used a secret passage to avoid a crowd of fifth years. He slowed down when he reached the library. He had an in with the librarian, but he didn't want to draw to much attention to himself as he slipped into the restricted section.
Remus knew he had no right to act the way he had. It wasn't James' fault that his birthday always brought out some of the worst of his personal demons. It was always overshadowed by the anniversary of his biting, and this brought with it incalculable feelings of anger, shame, and disgust for himself. None of this was James, Peter, or Sirius' faults, and Remus had had no right to act the way he had.
This did not stop him from sulking in the restricted section all afternoon. Monsieur de Lis, the librarian, offered him some tea, and they chatted for a while. The old man offered Remus some good advice, and Remus shared with him the sweets his parents had sent him.
All in all, Remus felt much better by dinner time, and although he was filled with mild dread at the thought of facing James, he didn't want to waste anymore time feeling resentful.
Coming down the marble staircase, James and Peter caught up to him.
"Remus! Mate," James threw an arm around his shoulder, Peter continued on ahead, presumably to give the two some space, "you missed all your classes today. We've been looking for you everywhere! What's up?" Remus ducked his head.
"It's my birthday," he answered, by way of explanation. James smacked his forehead.
"That's right it is! Damn. Happy birthday Remus. I'm so sorry. We completely forgot." The ruby red from Gryffindor's hour glass was reflected in James' apologetic gaze. Remus clapped his shoulder.
"Don't worry about it. I don't actually like my birthday that much anyway." He turned and kept walking, James sped up. They were entering the Great Hall.
"Well shit. I wish you had told me before I…."
"What?" Remus whirled around slightly shocked, "Before you what?" James was grinning. He palmed Remus' shoulder, turned him to face the Gryffindor table, and pointed.
"Before I told him to do that." Standing in the middle of the table was Sirius black, parchment in hand and wand to his throat. Professor Mcgonagall was half-way out of her seat when Sirius' voice began echoing through the hall.
"Sweet, I blame you not, for mine the fault was, had I not been made of common
clay. I had climbed the higher heights unclimbed yet, seen the fuller air, the
larger day.
From the wildness of my wasted passion I had struck a better, clearer song,
Lit some lighter light of freer freedom, battled with some Hydra-headed wrong.
Had my lips been smitten into music by the kisses that but made them bleed,
You had walked with Bice and the angels on that verdant and enamelled meed.
I had trod the road which Dante treading saw the suns of seven circles shine,
Ay! perchance had seen the heavens opening, as they opened to the Florentine.
And the mighty nations would have crowned me, who am crownless now and without
name,
And some orient dawn had found me kneeling on the threshold of the House of
Fame.
I had sat within that marble circle where the oldest bard is as the young,
And the pipe is ever dropping honey, and the lyre's strings are ever strung.
Keats had lifted up his hymeneal curls from out the poppy-seeded wine,
With ambrosial mouth had kissed my forehead, clasped the hand of noble love in
mine.
And at springtide, when the apple-blossoms brush the burnished bosom of the
dove,
Two young lovers lying in an orchard would have read the story of our love;
Would have read the legend of my passion, known the bitter secret of my heart,
Kissed as we have kissed, but never parted as we two are fated now to part.
For the crimson flower of our life is eaten by the cankerworm of truth,
And no hand can gather up the fallen withered petals of the rose of youth.
Yet I am not sorry that I loved you -ah! what else had I a boy to do? -
For the hungry teeth of time devour, and the silent-footed years pursue.
Rudderless, we drift athwart a tempest, and when once the storm of youth is
past,
Without lyre, without lute or chorus, Death the silent pilot comes at last.
And within the grave there is no pleasure, for the blindworm battens on the
root,
And Desire shudders into ashes, and the tree of Passion bears no fruit.
Ah! what else had I to do but love you? God's own mother was less dear to me,
And less dear the Cytheraean rising like an argent lily from the sea.
I have made my choice, have lived my poems, and, though youth is gone in
wasted days,
I have found the lover's crown of myrtle better than the poet's crown of bays."
Somewhere in the middle of all of this Remus had started to laugh. Wheezing, gasping, laughs of joy and dismay. This was a favorite of his mother's and she'd read it to him and Sirius last year while he'd been in the hospital wing. Sirius was grinning like a maniac, and at the front of the hall a slow rhythmic clap could be heard. Professor Dumbledore was giving Sirius a one man standing ovation. Remus caught his eye, and thought he saw him wink. The rest of the students and staff joined in, including Professor Mcgonagall, though she gave a resigned sort of shrug in the process. As the clapping started to die, wand still to his throat, Sirius began to speak again.
"And now, I would like to wish a very happy 14th birthday to one of my best friends, even if can be an inconvenient, moralistic, pain in the-" here Lily ground her fist into Sirius' foot. "Right, well, anyway, Happy Birthday Remus Lupin!" The garnered more cheers from the captivated audience. Sirius bowed deeply, several times, much to his classmate's amusement, before hopping down from the table and dragging Peter over to where James and Remus stood.
"Enjoy the show," he asked gruffly, though Remus heard the anxious, eager note in his voice. Remus smiled.
"Immensely. My mother would be proud." Sirius beamed.