I'm Not Enough
Written for the songfic challenge by on the HPFC forum.
Song: 'Not Enough' by 3 Doors Down.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, only the plot.
Seven days, underpaid, gotta give it up.
Got no time for this life that I'm livin' up.
Shackled down, kicked around, now slave to the grind.
Need some time for myself.
Percy Weasley sat alone at his desk. He seemed to be doing that a lot recently, in fact, that was pretty much all he did. It was all about work.
If only it were a good job. I mean, working at the Ministry was exactly what Percy had always wanted, and to be the Junior Assistant to Rufus Scrimgeour himself was an immense honour, but aside from that, it was –to be honest- utterly shit.
The hours were awful, and it was so dull! Even for Percy. He hadn't spoken to his family in months, and therefore his life revolved around nothing but signing pointless paperwork that the Minister couldn't be bothered to, fetching said Minister what seemed like one hundred cups of tea and opening Howlers.
Ugh. The Howlers. Percy shuddered at the mere thought of them. Some people had been saying some truly vile things after the whole Dolores Umbridge/Battle at the Department of Mystery saga.
'The Minister is a disgrace to Wizard kind! He should be ashamed of himself!'
'She used a blood quill on my child! What else went on that year? I dread to think!'
'Appalling, utterly appalling, never in my years have I seen such misleading behaviour from the Ministry. You should be sacked, the lot of you!"
And those were some of the politer ones…
I'll give you anything that you want me to
But I don't have the time
So I'll get up with you.
If you don't understand
Man, you've gotta believe,
There's too much of you but there is not enough of me.
There's not enough of me.
He didn't want to admit it, but he missed his family. He missed the Burrow, he missed his mothers cooking, he missed all of his siblings running around screaming, even though back when he lived there he found it insufferable.
It was just too quiet in his flat. It was as if there was an invisible force pressing down heavily on his ears. The slightest noise of a creaky floorboard was a comfort. Maybe that was why he spent so much time at that bloody desk of his, he just couldn't cope with the silence.
If you'd have asked him what he wanted to do a year ago, he would have said "Work at the Ministry" in a heartbeat. Now he wasn't so sure. I mean, he wanted to do a good job, not just sit around doing pointless things.
Merlin, life could be a real bitch sometimes.
Same old song world moves on while I'm still in bed.
Meet tomorrow today just to get ahead.
Jump the gun on the run,
I'm the only one.
Who thinks that I'm fallin' behind?
Sleep. That was only time he was truly at peace. He dreamt of smiling faces, welcoming him home.
Psh. Yeah right, as if that was ever going to happen.
Fred and George would prank him mercilessly, Ginny would yell at him and Ron would remain silently angry, and he couldn't really blame them. Bill, Charlie and his parents were probably be the only ones who would forgive him, even that would take time.
At that he felt slightly bitter, although he knew he had no right to be. He had left his family. It was a simple as that. He had argued with his father, with his siblings, returned his mothers infamous Weasley jumper and slammed the door in her face. If that didn't mean burnt bridges he didn't know what did…
I'll give you anything that you want me to.
But I don't have the time so I'll get up with you.
If you don't understand
Man, you've got to believe.
There's too much of you.
but there's not enough of me.
There's not enough of me.
Was he destined to be alone for the rest of him life? He didn't mind solitude, but to be alone, forever sounded like a horrible prospect.
He remembered when he and Penelope had separated, and although they had both agreed it was for the better, there was a part of him that had felt empty. Was that what loneliness felt like?
If that was what it was, Percy decided that he'd never think, or feel again. Not properly. You can't function when all you know is your own mind. It'll drive you mad.
You need someone, someone who loves you no matter who you are and what you do.
I'll give you anything that you want me to
But I don't have the time so I'll get up with you.
If you don't understand
Man you've gotta believe
There's too much of you
There's too much of me.
There was a voice, screaming inside his head. "Go back home!" it begged. But he couldn't, he would never be accepted, he never had been.
He never told anyone the Sorting Hat had considered putting him in Slytherin, because everyone would start calling him the green Weasley: The one that almost broke the mould in a dangerous way.
Whoever said 'forgive and forget' was an utter twat. Leaving won't only bring pain, but it'll leave scars in the places where you went away. Maybe their not always visible, but their there, hidden beneath the skin, or behind a composed face.
I'll give you anything that you want me to
But I don't have the time so I'll get up with you.
If you don't understand, man, you've got to believe.
There's too much of you
But there's not enough of me.
Darkness. There was so much darkness everywhere these days.
Where did his allegiances lie? He didn't even know anymore…
Two songfics in two days, I feel quite good about this! This one is kind of melancholy as well.
I think most of my songfics will be for challenges, but I might write some more from my own music selection… One day.
As always; hope you guys enjoyed it, and please review