Poor Draco

One fine morning, Draco Malfoy was popping some Tylenol because Crabbe and Goyle were trying to sing. He couldn't handle it anymore. The idiots had already had a burping contest, an eating contest, a farting contest, a 'hold your poop' contest, and now a singing contest.

You see, seventh year Malfoy was much too old for these idiots. He only wished he hadn't been made Slytherin, because Gryffindor would've suited him much better. He had a relationship with Hermione and become best friends with Harry and Ron.

It all started a year ago, when Crabbe and Goyle had almost killed Malfoy while playing Pokemon, but Ron had tackled him just in time. Malfoy realized that Slytherin was full of idiots.

So he headed over to the Gryffindor and gave Hermione a good morning kiss.

"What are they doing over there?" asked Harry.

"Singing," said Malfoy. "some American song."

"The explains everything," said Ron, getting glares from Americans across the table.

"So are we going to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" asked Hermione.

"You betcha!" said Malfoy. "I know a guy who can get us some Firewhisky!"

"Fun, fun," said Hermione, who was not expecting that as an answer.

You see, Hermione had fallen in love with Draco for one main reason: he had changed. he had made himself into a… man. Not a boy, a man. He grew up.

But lately, Malfoy had become his old self, only with Harry and Ron as his Crabbe and Goyle.

"Malfoy!" called Snape from the staff table. "Get to the Slytherin table before I curse you!"

Draco walked back without a word to Hermione and rubbed his temples very deeply.

Several owls flew through the window and the mail arrived. Harry got a letter from Hagrid, saying that the whole 'kneasle bit you nose off' incident was an accident.

Hermione got something much more important, though. There, in very odd writing, was a letter from Viktor Krum. She quickly opened it.

Dear Hermione,

I have come to the age where my people are usually wed. With the permission of your parents, I request your hand in marriage.

I realized you were my only choice as soon as I saw you. We shall be married in Bulgaria April 15th at 4:00.

I love you dearly, Hermione, and I hope you feel the same for me.

Viktor

Hermione could not believe the writing on the paper. Viktor Krum wanted to marry her.

Oh course, Hermione had feelings for Krum, but how could she leave Draco so abruptly?

Well, it wouldn't be easy, that was for sure.

"WHAT?"

"I said I'm going to get married," said Hermione. "to Viktor Krum!"

"I… I… Krum?" Malfoy stuttered. "Do you realize you're with a Malfoy?"

Hermione slammed her hands on the table. "I knew you would act like this! You haven't changed since the first year!"

"Her--"

"You act is if you're 11 again!"

"I love you!"

"If you really love me," said Hermione. "You would come to Bulgaria and stop the wedding. That would prove it to me."

Hermione walked to the door, but turned back.

"Malfoy?" she said in a more caring tune.

"Yes?"

"Grow up!"

With that, Hermione slammed the door and left Malfoy with one plan.

Stop the wedding.

4/8/05