Without Me, a buffy: the vampire slayer fanfic

Disclaimer: The song is Eminem's. The show belongs to Joss. I own nuttin'.

Summary: Without Me, slayer style.

"Anyanka, Real Name No Gimmicks…"

{The Gorches are circling Buffy"}

BUFFY: Two trailer park vamps go round the outside,

round the outside, round the outside.

Two trailer park vamps go round the outside,

round the outside, round the outside.

{Ducks as they try to punch her, then stakes them.}

WILLOW: "Oooooohhhhh!"

XANDER: Guess who's back, back again

Buffy's back, tell a friend.

MASTER: Guess who's back?

DARLA: Guess who's back?

SPIKE: Guess who's back?

DRUSILLA: Guess who's back?

ANGELUS: Guess who's back?

MAYOR: Guess who's back?

GLORY: Guess who's back?

{Harmony and Giles are arguing.}

GILES: For God's sake Harmony! I told you to wear a bunny costume!

{Harmony looks down at her Playboy bunny costume.}

HARMONY: But I am!

GILES: Gaaaaaaah!

{Harmony shrugs.}

HARMONY: {Shakes head and makes self look unhappy.}

BUFFY: I've created a monster, cuz nobody wants to

See Buffy no more they want Slayer

I'm chopped liver

Well if you want Slayer, then this is what I'll give ya

A little bit of me mixed with some butt kickin'

A rush jump startin' my heart quicker

Then a shock when I'm pulled from the grave

By Willow when I'm not cooperating

While I rock the coffin when the spells operating "Hey"

You waited this long to start resurrecting

So what were you really expecting

I know you got issues of your own Scoobies

But my death and revival is complicated

So the PtB won't let me be

Or let me be me so let me see

Try to make me less risky

But it feels so empty without me

So come on vamp, call me a tramp

Try to fight I'll raise it an amp

And get ready cuz this is about to get heavy

I got a bunch of problems ,so fight already

Freaky hellions, Hellmouth's rebellious

I'm convinced that this is the fault of Joss

I'm feeling like death is helpless

When suddenly the End of Days is fixing that loss

A visionary, vision is scary, could start an apocalypse

End all my playful riffs, a rebel

Notice me whine and bask,

In the fact that I got everyone kissin' my ass

And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe

The whole world's in trouble if it is lacking me

Well I'm back na na na na na na stakes flyin'

Keeping Sunnydale's innocents from dyin'

Killing vampires with a splinter

Spring, Summer, Fall, 'n Winter

It's interesting, no one notices the wrestling

While I keep baddies from nesting

Testing "Attention Please"

See me get thrown against a tree

Nothing in this cosmos is free

A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me?

Now this looks like a job for me

So everybody just follow me

Cuz we need a little controversy

Cuz it feels so empty without me

I said this looks like a job for me

So everybody just follow me

Cuz we need a little controversy

Cuz it feels so empty without me

Now this looks like a job for me

So everybody just follow me

Cuz we need a little controversy

Cuz it feels so empty without me

I said this looks like a job for me

So everybody just follow me

Cuz we need a little controversy

Cuz it feels so empty without me

A tisk-it a task-it

I'll go tit for tat with anybody who can really hit

Riley, you can try to be wily

Getting sucked by vamp ho's with a big smiley

And all you Initiative freaks on speed

You make me sick with your greed

You don't know me, you're too stoned

It's over, the GI act is so old

So let's go, I'm pumped for the signal

I'll show up with all new quips and insults

I've used everything from a branch to a pencil

I really hate prophecies and symbols

But sometimes it just kind of seems

Everybody only wants to target me

So this must mean that I'm Miss Thing

But it's just me, I'm just the queen

I'm not trying for a controversy

Just everyone won't let me be

I sometimes live so selfishly

I just wish I could be wealthy [Hey]

Here's a concept that works

Two other Vampire Slayers emerged

But no matter how many fish in the sea

It'll be so empty without me

Now this looks like a job for me

So everybody just follow me

Cuz we need a little controversy

Cuz it feels so empty without me

I said this looks like a job for me

So everybody just follow me

Cuz we need a little controversy

Cuz it feels so empty without me

Now this looks like a job for me

So everybody just follow me

Cuz we need a little controversy

Cuz it feels so empty without me

I said this looks like a job for me

So everybody just follow me

Cuz we need a little controversy

Cuz it feels so empty without me

Hum dei la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la

" Grrrrr-Arrrgh!"