Author's Note: Obviously I am not Stephenie Meyer although my name is Stephanie, the characters (minus Ember) are not mine. Please read and review :) I will try to update as much as I can. POV changes but I will give you fair warning
Prologue
I sat in front of the fire. I could feel its heat licking at my skin as my knees sat impossibly close to it. All I had to do was fall forward a few inches and my never-ending life would cease to exist. The only lesson I had learned in the past twenty-four hours was that life tends to be very unfair and the things we hold dear to can be ripped away from us in a matter of minutes. Alice was ripped away from me. This fire in front of me and the ashes at the bottom were all that remained of the woman I had loved for over fifty years. I had sobbed for hours after I found this place, even though she had begged me not to try and find her, all I had to do was follow the scent I had engrained in every piece of my body. I looked to my left at the fire a few feet away that I had built to burn Maria's body. She was stupid enough to come and claim the responsibility. I clutched two pieces of paper in my hand, one was addressed to Edward which I was told not to read; the other had been addressed to me. I looked down at her elegant and loopy writing and read it for what would have been the hundredth time.
My dearest Jasper- You have been my soul mate for more than fifty years and there is no one in existence I would rather be with. However it seems fate had other choices for us both. By the time you are reading this I have gone out and faced what I am required to do…Maria is angry that you left her Jasper and for revenge I must give myself in to her. I will not make it, please Jazz do not come looking for the proof simply trust me on this. I know what you are thinking and you can't, we promised each other to follow to the ends of the earth but this is a place you cannot follow me. Jasper, you have to go find the proof to save our family, it is out there and you must save them or there will be nothing left. Our love survives through our family and you must go back to them, they are all you have now and you are all that is left of me for them. There is a reason and if I could I would let you know but in time the reason will reveal itself, you must give the letter enclosed to Edward, don't read it. Jasper you are my soul, the other half of my heart and you must live, for me that is all I ask of you. When the time comes tell her I love her, you will see what I mean and tell her thank you for what she has done for us both. Forever yours- Alice.
I understood the part about Maria, who knew we would even run into her while we were here in Mexico. I didn't understand why Alice felt the need to go and sacrifice herself to save me. I understood the talk of our family being all I had left and there would be a hole. I didn't understand why she thought that would be filled at any point. I understood her not wanting me to die with her. What I didn't understand beyond anything was that she had a vision and a reason that I needed to stick around and I didn't know what that reason could be, period and I didn't know who she wanted me to tell that she loved them. What I understood was that I had to go and find the proof we had gone searching for; I had to save our family. That was all it took for me to get off my knees and stand before the smoldering ashes, how long had I been here? I didn't look back as I ran even further south keeping the memory of our family as all to keep me going.
It had only been a few days since Alice's death and it was still fresh in my mind but as I was running through the forest I kept my thoughts on the proof that I had found and nothing else so Edward would know who we were. I showed in the clearing Nahuel and his aunt behind me. The feelings coming from all directions were taking a toll on me so I decided to put a wave of calm over everyone but no one seemed to be affected. Bella's shield was working for us and I could feel myself being deprived from emotion as she extended it to me. As the boy and aunt began their story and explanation I stepped towards Aro so he could look into my memories, when he was done I stepped away. I could feel eyes on me from across the field and an immense feeling of confusion. I drifted meeting Edwards eyes and let the memory flow through my mind for him. I was in a room sitting and reading the letter she had written me and then I flashed to the fire. I flashed to the image of the tall horrible fire that had consumed the love of my life and my breakdown that followed its discovery. The dry sobs that consumed me for days on end as the fire turned to nothing but ash. Maria finding me and saying that we were now even and my debt to her had been paid followed by quick killing of her, she had always been weak and no longer had the following she once boasted. My choice to take my life but then decided to go on and find what would save our family. Edward's jaw clenched and I could see the confusion in everyone else's minds. They looked for Alice and expected her to be somewhere nearby. The Volturi made their choice after what seemed like a lifetime and left I barely heard the decision and only knew that I was alive still. I didn't even know how I could not pay attention to our execution orders. When we were sure they were gone again, I fell to the ground my hands gripped inside of my hair and sobbed as I felt the arms of Esme wrap around my torso. I could hear Edward's soft voice speeding through the story to everyone else. Then I heard it, the ear splitting scream of Bella as she fell to the ground beside me and as I looked up I saw the whole family mourning and in that instance I slipped into darkness.
When I woke up I was in a field, not the one I had just been in but another one, full of bright yellow flowers and sunlight shining from every direction warming my skin. I closed my eyes again breathing in the scents and caught the familiar one of Alice and suddenly I heard her light feet dancing towards me. I opened my eyes to see her beautiful face only inches from mine smiling as widely as possible. I slid my hand down her face just to make sure she was really there and I leaned forward kissing her slowly.
"Alice, so it was all a horrible dream" I stated realizing she was still her with me.
"No silly, this is the dream" she responded smiling and taking my hands.
"Then why?" I asked confused and deeply hurt.
"A proper goodbye Jazz" she said back kissing me again.
I felt her drifting away from me once again and suddenly the sun and warmth was gone and I was falling again, into the blackness, and she was no longer there, the world was no longer there.
I don't know how long we all spent sitting in the field mourning but eventually we went back to the house. I immediately moved into Edward's room leaving Alice and I's room untouched I had to ask Rosalie to get my things from it. For the first few months everyone's grieving feelings made it almost impossible to be in the home but after awhile I became so numb within myself that I was able to block them out. Bella and Edward soon went back to a sense of contentment, they had a family to raise and they had the love in each other. Rose and Emmett followed after and then Carlisle, only Esme stayed grieving for near as long as I did but eventually she moved on as well. I felt that I was the only one who had lost something. I had forgotten about Edward's letter from Alice for the first six months but had finally given it to him, he seemed confused by it and Bella had dawning feelings when she read it but both refused to say anything about it. I only hunted when necessary but all other times I sat alone in my room reading or staring, time had no meaning to me anymore, eternity used to have meaning. Now eternity was a distant expanse that would never end. However I never thought to take my life after the first time, it was as if a stronger force kept me in this world for at the time I believed my family's sake.
After Forks had seen its wear on us we had to leave, memories were hard anyways. We moved back to Alaska a year later, I made my room there into a study, nothing more because there was nothing left to share with anyone. No one ever came in to talk to me all in all the family chose to avoid me. Edward and Bella built a cottage further on the property to continue in their own world, they also had to care for more people. Jacob came with us and stayed at the cottage with them but most of the time he would stay in wolf form, so he continued not to age Rose and Emmett lived down the hall from me but I rarely saw either of them. The others returned to high school and I stayed home while Carlisle worked. I could not stand to be out in the real world without her. When I did go out I noticed I was so numb that humans barely held a scent to me anymore, it burned but not as badly. Time passed and they began college again, it was then my world changed a mere ten years after it had abruptly ended. Suddenly the force that was holding me to the world was not just my family but something else, someone else, and it all started with the letter Alice left for Edward.