Drunk: A Konosuba One-Shot that may or may not extend to a two chapter story because I absolutely did not set a plot for this, I also typed all of this in my cellphone
Adventurer's Guild
Literally in the middle of the damn night, like, 3:00AM Middle of the night; People are trying to fucking sleep and these idiots are fucking partying, COULD THEY JUST-
Cheers roared through the guild hall as Adventurer's danced left and right, some were just sitting and drinking, some were...roleplaying? Foreplay? Can't really tell because they were all drunk.
Of course, our (least) favourite goddess Aqua was among the drunkards (drinkers?), dancing in the middle of the crowd while performing party tricks (which really wasn't good idea because she could accidentally drown all of us in there.)
And of course, Satou Kazuma, was in the sidelines, watching as our (least) favourite goddess was dancing in the center of a crowd of adventurers.
I swear if this franchise wasn't PG-13, they'd all be doing their way with her; back on topic, it was literally just hours after they managed to defeat a monster, with said monster literally doing nothing and just blocking the path to the city, all of their attacks failed, Megumin hurriedly casted explosion and ended up damaging a small part of the town the monster was passing through; costing us 25,000 Eris.
Although they were lucky enough that their reward was 60,000 Eris, deducted for the damages done to the small town.
Kazuma could just sigh with a contented smile as he watched the goddess(lol) perform party tricks, on top of the center most table, everybody's eyes were focused on her, except for Megumin who was happily munching on a piece of Toad meat, Darkness had to do some Lord duties as her father requested, stating that 'She needed the experience.'
Her performance was consequently disturbed when she flinched, both of her hands landing on her stomach and mouth.
Kazuma could only sigh as he guided the goddess(lol) outside the guild hall and patted her back as she threw up actual literal rainbow colored puke, with said puke forming a small rainbow at the bottom and silver stars casually flying up and away from where the rainbow colored puke met the ground.
In the living room of the mansion they -Technically Speaking- owned
Kazuma casually set the barely conscious Aqua down on the sofa, the blue haired self-proclaimed goddess(lol) mumbling something about someone looking cute and handsome and all that shit Kazuma had grown immune to.
At least, when she wasn't drunk.
Walking off to get something to drink, Kazuma was stopped dead in his tracks as Aqua shouted;
"Kazuma!~ come 'ere for a sec~" The Goddess of Debt, Alcohol, and Douchebaggery requested, forcing herself to sit up.
"How the hell does she pronounce a tilde!?" Kazuma asked himself, he wasn't sure as to how Aqua managed to pronounce the tilde from the previous paragraph.
"What is it?" He asked in an irritated tone, scratching the back of his head as he looked at the sitting Goddess of Debt, Alcohol and Douchebaggery.
The instant his eyes landed on her, he turned his head, covering his nose because that's what Semi-cliché Anime MCs do as soon as they saw something they knew they shouldn't see.
For Kazuma's case, he accidentally looked down on Aqua's impressive cleavage, not as impressive as Lalatina's, but impressive nonetheless; he tried to look at Aqua again, only to turn away Cliché Anime MC style as soon as he saw Aqua's position on the couch.
She had decided to lie down again, in a pose that showcased the beauty-when-not-being-an-asshole Aqua.
Her right hand was over head, her left was placed on her stomach, and her legs were splayed out enough that gave anyone looking the feeling of Schrödingers Panties.
"Pat me." She demanded.
"Eh?"
Kazuma's mental processing center ground to a halt as soon as they processed what she had said.
Aqua.
Asking for pats.
"Neh, Aqua, are you okay? Are you really okay? There's nothing wrong with you?" Kazuma asked nervously and worriedly while chuckling at the same time; this was the real first time Aqua had asked for pats, and Aqua never asked for pats.
Watching as Aqua sat up, she then pointed to her head: "Pat me."
Sighing in defeat, Kazuma proceeded to do what she asked, smiling at the contented smile on Aqua's face.
He continued patting her even when he sat down next to the sitting Aqua, with the latter even spinning in her place, now sitting crosslegged and still smiling contentedly.
It wasn't long before she fell asleep on his lap.
He had to admit, Aqua looked spectacularly beautiful when she wasn't crying, being an asshole, bragging, or being all at the same time.
Picking her up bridal style, he proceeded to carry her to her room.
The good thing about living everyday life with a mother and two sister is that when one of the sisters is sick, he was the one in charge of their health and well being while their mother was at work.
Setting Aqua down on her bed, he proceeded to open her wardrobe.
Fifteen outfits similar to what she was wearing right now was neatly folded, and her pyjamas were neatly folded next to it.
Taking out a pair, he slowly took off Aqua's top, he had to mentally slap himself that she was drunk, and was vulnerable while slipping her into her pyjamas; he was quite surprised that she actually was wearing panties, blue and white striped ones, with a signature of someone named "Akatsuki."
As soon as he tucked her under the sheets, she felt her hand grab the sleeve of his tunic.
"Sleep with me~" She demanded still in her drunken state.
"WHAT'S GOING ON!?" He asked himself in his mind, this wasn't the Aqua he knew, WHAT-
"Okay." He replied, taking off his shoes, socks, belt, and all too familiar dark green cape, proceeding to lie down next to the goddess.
He flinched when she wrapped her arms around him and snuggled her face on the back of his neck, every breath sent a tickle down his spine, yet at the same time, it felt assuring, like Aqua was telling him that she was there when he needed her.
"Kazuma...I..."
That was the last thing he heard before he fell into the abyss of sleep.