originally written 5/15/16. almost 1 year old.
to preserve my original notes/thoughts/feelings: auron is really like tidus's dad. as an annoying tidus stan, their relationship is really, really important to me, considering tidus's actual parents and how different auron is from them. hence why i wrote this.
this piece is part of a series that revolves around tidus's platonic relationships within the game, which is based upon the solar system/roman mythology themes used in the game. this would be the third piece in the series, however, i am not writing them in order. in fact, i wrote this before i even decided to make the series at all.
astronomical background: mars (auron's planetary association) is the god of war in roman mythology. also the god of destruction and masculinity... all are things you could associate with auron.
Sometimes, Tidus wonders how the others can sleep so freely, without worry keeping them up, tossing and turning. When they're not in a hotel, he can see how Lulu, Wakka, Rikku, and even Kimhari fall asleep like it's nothing. And Yuna, who he finds himself watching more and more as time passes, tosses and turns for a good hour or so before she, too, falls into a deep, peaceful sleep.
But no matter what he does, Tidus just can't do that. Not the way they can.
Being so far away from home stresses him out - he misses his city, his friends, his team, his fans... And being here, in Spira, a land full of people who praise Jecht, brings back Tidus' many unpleasant memories of him. Memories that Tidus has tried and tried to forget.
And Spira is so different from Zanarkand. The whole entire place as a whole is quieter than Zanarkand ever was. Tidus sometimes wonders if it's the silence that keeps him awake, being so unused to sleeping without huge amounts of background noise.
The only other person who seems to be like Tidus in his issues of falling asleep and staying asleep is Auron.
Auron is mysterious - and though Tidus has known him for years, he still feels as if he doesn't know anything about him. Tidus does know that Auron tends to orbit his own strange planet with a population of one (that being Auron himself), but the fact is that the man never sleeps. People need to sleep, otherwise, they can't function well, and Tidus knows from experience. With what little sleep he's able to get each night, he finds it hard to fight monsters, to do even simple things, and so on nights where he gets to sleep easier, he thanks whatever is watching over him.
But Auron just never sleeps. At all. And it's both concerning and horrifying.
So, when the man slowly walks away from their campsite like he usually does that night, Tidus tries not to think much of it (like he usually does). He lays there, eyes closed, trying to make sleep come to him. Like usual, it's not exactly working. He goes out into the night, away from their small pile of logs they had been previously using for fire, and finds Auron, sitting peacefully, looking at the sky.
Tidus takes a hesitant step towards the free position next to the man.
"Can't sleep?" Auron asks, suddenly, and Tidus startles. That's one thing Auron has always been able to do - tell when Tidus is approaching him, even if he can't see Tidus at all.
"Yeah. I think it's the quiet. Zanarkand never had much of that, ya know?"
Auron keeps his gaze ahead, even as Tidus walks forward and plops down next to him, hearing the quiet chuckle that leaves Auron.
"Hm," he says, suddenly sounding as old and tired as he looks, "You can take the boy out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the boy."
Tidus bristles slightly at that, but simmers down when he realizes that Auron speaks nothing but the truth - as usual, of course.
He looks up, wondering just what it is that Auron finds so damn fascinating about the sky on a night like this one, where there aren't many stars at all. There could be a hidden meaning, but Tidus gives up quickly when he can't find it within the first few seconds or so of looking.
"I guess you're right... It's probably why I've been having so much trouble sleeping," Tidus starts, conceding to Auron's words of truth as curls up and wraps his arms around his knees, "Is it like that for you, too? Can't sleep because of the quiet?" After all, he had spent a lot of time in Zanarkand, as well, when he was looking after Tidus.
Auron turns, finally looking at the boy, "No," he says, "My insomnia is not quite as human as yours, I'm afraid."
The young Blitzball star's brows furrow in confusion, and he lifts his head off of his arms. "What do you mean?"
"Forget it," the man says, turning away again, "It's not important. And besides, you need your rest."
Tidus keeps his gaze on Auron, curious. There are weights and chains that have locked the old man to Spira, to Zanarkand, to the world itself, and Tidus can't help but feel sorry for the guy even in his overwhelming curiosity. He knows that Auron is here because of a promise he had made to his old man, and to Yuna's, too, but sometimes Tidus wonders if that's really the truth or not. If that's all there is to it.
Because on days like this, Auron seems so much older than he ever did, seems so much more tired and so much more burdened by guilt. His words about promises seem like nails on a coffin that Auron is trying to undue. And Tidus becomes more curious than he feels he has a right to be.
"But what about you?"
"Me?" Auron asks, staring down at the boy for the second time that night.
"You need your rest too, old man!"
Auron smiles, the wrinkles around it making him match what Tidus had called him; but his eyes, full of subtle mirth that Tidus can't help but smile at, make Auron look younger, less burdened by that ever present, heavy guilt.
"Don't worry about me, Tidus. Just get some sleep, alright?"
He kicks at the ground for a while, refusing silently like a child who refuses to go to bed, but eventually, Auron's gentle (but forceful) chiding makes Tidus obey, and the boy starts to trek back to camp.
Afterwards, he feels lighter, after talking to man so weighted down, and it's no surprise to him that falling asleep comes easier to him because of it.
But Auron's advice had fallen on deaf ears, because Tidus worries about Auron, of course he does. Because Auron took care of him, even in short spouts, over the years when he was alone, missing even his old man. And Tidus feels a sense of responsibility to worry about his aging former caretaker, like he should find Auron someone to take care of him for when he gets too old to do it himself.
He feels he owes him, after all the times Auron picked up a younger, crying, screaming version of him and bandaged him up, or for being softer in his punishments of Tidus than his old man, despite seeming as if he'd be more strict. For doing something as simple as telling him to go to sleep, and Tidus finding it easier to do just that from just words. For giving Tidus silent, but important, encouragements to help him follow his dream of becoming a star Blitzball player. For taking care of him, when he had no one else to do so.
Yeah, Tidus is pretty sure he owes him for all of that and more. And he'll pay him back. He'll help Auron keep his promises so he doesn't have to worry about them anymore, so they don't weigh him down anymore. It's the least he can do for him.