And now I present to you a written version of a letter fanfic called "Ciao…Guess I'll write these damn letters now" by dogsrule. It got so interesting that I just had to do it. I do not own anything in here, not even the plot (for once O_O).

The phone ringing was the first thing that he had to hear first thing in the morning.

Lovino mumbled openly to himself as he looked at the name that was on his caller ID. He cursed openly again as he picked it up with a sigh, trying to clear his throat from the morning before answering the phone.

"Ciao."

"Ve~~~good morning, fratello!"

"Che…what is it…?"

"Remember when I said that I was doing a phone chain and started telling people my phone number to call people with?"

"Yeah…it was annoying. Your phone bill must've been near the billions at this point."

"Ve~~~why don't you do this too?"

"Because I hate talking to anyone else that is just as annoying as you and tomato bastard."

"Well, you should try it out anyway!"

"Why should I?"

"Because I gave out your number to a bunch of people already!"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"WHAT."

"Ve~~~now we can both do this together!"

"WHY."

"You should try it, fratello! Please? For me?"

"…che. Fine. Whatever."

"Yaaaay~! Thank you!"

Feliciano was going to start saying something else when he quickly hung up the phone. He didn't want to talk to his idiot of a brother anymore. He stood up and walked out of the room, quickly getting changed into his uniform and heading out the door just to live like he always did. Which means that in three…two…one…

*Ring Ring*

"What?"

"Ah~Lovino! Mi precioso Lovino~!"

"Tomato bastard…"

"How are you, mi querido? We haven't seen each other since the last World Conference, so I hope that life has been well!"

"You've called me once every fucking hour, so you should know DAMN well that I'm just dandy!"

"You exaggerate, my dear Lovi! I call every two hours."

"YOU STILL FREAKING CALL TOO DAMN OFTEN!" Lovino started spazzing. "What the hell is your problem?"

"Ah, so cold, mi amor~! Why is it that the Boss can't call you and express his love for you?"

"You have a damn economy, don't you? Stop wasting your freaking money on me!"

"My economy can suffer a little, if only in the chance that I can talk to you mi amor! Con much paz, amor y abrazos!"

"How many times do I have to tell you to speak in either Italian or English? Your language annoys me!"

"Ah, sorry Lovi!"

"It's Lovino!"

"Lovino, right…well, Spanish just comes so natural to me! You understand it, so it's all good!"

"Who said that I paid attention to your damn lessons…"

"If it will please Lovi…con tanto amore, pace e abbracci, España! Does that make you happy?"

"…maybe…" He froze. "SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!"

"Ahahahaha! But how can I ask you out for dinner if I shut up?"

"…eh?"

"It's been so long since we've been together, so we should go out for dinner…unless you want me to make something."

"…" For some reason, Lovino's chest tightened. "I could care less."

"Well, what do you prefer? One of us, being fabulous cooks, making dinner and cleaning up…or someone paying for dinner and NOT cleaning up?" He could practically hear Spain smiling on the other line.

"…fine, we're eating out. I'm paying." Lovino sighed.

"Yaaay! Boss is happy! Gracias for paying!"

"Sure. Whatever."

And then that's when it hit him.

"Wait, where the hell are you?"

"Look up!"

He blinked in confusion before noticing that the bastard Spaniard hung up the phone. He looked up and what did he see? There he was, wearing his traditional khaki uniform, waving his arms like a nutjob for him to see.

…

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"Ahaha! You look funny, Lovi!"

"It's LOVINO! And what the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm here to ask you out for dinner, of course!"

"That's after you came here out of nowhere! Why the hell are you here in the first place before you asked me out?"

"Ah, Lovi…porque yo quería verte!"

"SPEAK ITALIAN, DAMMIT! I DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!"

"Lovi, Lovi…speaking just Italian isn't good for foreign relations…or amor in the bedroom~"

"…good in…"

…

…

"GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE FREAKING GUTTER, YOU BASTARD!"

"Ahahaha…you're so cute, Lovi!"

"IT'S LOVINO!"

Sorry if I butchered this in forever, dogsrule…