Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Or Burger King ™. You'll find out why.

Just to let people know, this won't be part of my collection.

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"The true master of the Elder Wand was Draco Malfoy."

Blank shock showed on Voldemort's face for a moment, but then it was gone.

"But what does it matter?" he said softly. "Even if you are right, Potter, it makes no difference to you and me. You no longer have the phoenix wand: We duel on skill alone…and after I've killed you, I can attend to Draco Malfoy…."

"But you're too late," said Harry. "Draco's mother abuses him, and she has done so in the time after Dumbledore's death. The true master of the Elder Wand was Narcissa Malfoy."

"What?! That's not true! I love my son!" shouted Narcissa hysterically.

"Even so, it still does not matter," said Voldemort, a little confused how Potter knew this, but still unfazed. "I can attend to her as well…."

"But you're too late," said Harry. "Lucius was having an affair. He has spent time with his mistress after Narcissa beat Draco. the true master of the Elder Wand was Lucius Malfoy.

"What?! What's this about you cheating on me?" yelled Narcissa to her soon-to-be ex-husband.

"I have no idea what the boy is talking about!" answered a frightened Lucius. How much did the boy know about their home life?

"It still does not matter," said Voldemort, blinking a few times to process this strange turn of events. "The entire Malfoy family is expendable to me. I can deal with all of them…."

But you're too late," said Harry. By now the crowd gathered around them was looking back and forth between them when one would speak up. "Lucius' mistress had left him for another man when he stole her heart. The true master of the Elder Wand was Anthony Hernandez."

"That b****!" yelled Lucius. "She told me she was moving away to find a better paying job!"

It was a moment before Voldemort spoke. "I do not know how you know these things, but I can send my best Death Eaters after this Anthony Hernandez so I can kill him."

"But you're too late," said Harry, to a collective groan from the crowd around them. "He was employed by my uncle when the woman came to him. He was later fired because my uncle felt like it. The true master of the Elder Wand was Vernon Dursley."

Voldemort kept quiet this time. He was getting very confused on how the Elder wand had changed hands. It was simple at first, with Draco disarming Dumbledore, and then Narcissa beating her son. But after that, the manner of which it changed hand became ridiculous.

"But you're too late," said Harry.

"I knew it," muttered Voldemort, looking to the right in annoyance.

"My cousin is always able to bully his father into doing things for him," said Harry. "The true master of the Elder Wand was Dudley Dursley."

Voldemort just stood there, waiting for Harry to continue. He needed to know where this line ended so he could kill them and finally have the power of the Elder Wand. After thinking it over he decided to kill everyone else along the path as well.

"But you're too late," said Harry. He paused. A horrified look came across his face and he turned and ran out of the Great Hall.

"S***! Where the f*** is Dudley? I have to beat him up!"

Everyone in the hall started running out when they heard that. The most powerful wand ever made was up for grabs and they only had to beat up some muggle? Hell yeah!

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"Welcome to Burger King ™, may I take your order?"

Dudley was completely bored out of his mind. After relocating to America, he convinced himself that he needed to get himself a job. He wanted to stop having to make his parents do everything for him. He got a job pretty easily, but was soon bored. Just standing there, asking people what they wanted to eat, not being able to eat the food that was made. It was terrible!

Little did he know that he was the most wanted person in the wizarding world.

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I'm sorry if any one named Anthony Hernandez reads this and takes offence, it was the first name I could think of.