I've always liked reading these types of stories, and I know they are way overdone, but I got the idea and couldn't help myself. It was originally going to be a one-shot, but I like it better this way, so hopefully you do too. Probably going to be two chapters for each disc of The Office, so, enjoy!
It feels weird not having any review responses here. BTW, this is set years after the documentary aired. Italics are what's on the screen.
They sat on the couch, fingers laced. She was leaning against him, her legs tucked to the left side of her body, and his arm was around her waist the way it normally was whenever they were together, staking her as his. She smiled up at him, a slight chuckle in her voice. "You ready for this?" He laughed, nodding his head.
"Of course. It's just our life playing out on a TV screen," he replied. She smiled, biting her lip nervously. "Baby, don't be so nervous. We already lived it."
"I know, I just get really invested…" Pam muttered, trailing off.
"In yourself? Yeah, I noticed."
"What does that mean?" she asked, sitting up in his arms.
"It means most people are at least somewhat invested in themselves," he replied, smiling. "But you meant you get really invested in TV don't you?"
"Well, yeah… I mean, you've been with me when I've seen Grey's Anatomy and 16 Candles and even Sesame Street every now and then…"
"Well, I tend to get a little teary-eyed at Sesame Street myself," he replied, grinning. She smacked him lightly with a pillow. "You are probably one of the worst people to watch movies with because you get so invested. I think you cried for like two minutes into Martian Child."
"I thought it was touching," Pam defended herself, grinning. He laughed, kissed her quickly, and turned back to the TV. "Okay, first things first, don't you think it's weird that America still doesn't know we're real people?"
"What do you mean?" Jim asked, although he already knew.
"I mean…" she trailed off, thinking of how to put it. "All of America thinks we're just fictional characters that are set up in a documentary and played by these other actors… None of them know that we're actually real."
Jim laughed, "yeah, it's funny all of the things they come up with," he laughed. "But, I like it this way, don't you?"
"Oh yeah, I could never live if they knew we were real," she replied, laughing. "Oh, wait, before you start it, did you remember to pick up the cupcakes for Gracie's class tomorrow?"
"Ummmm," Jim stuttered, and she rolled her eyes. "I bet they'll be waiting for us bright and early tomorrow morning."
She smiled, shaking her head lightly. "Okay, well I'm sure you'll be more than willing to pick them up at six AM when the bakery opens tomorrow, then, won't you?" She smiled sweetly at him, and he nodded, picking up the remote.
"Absolutely, I will," he said, and she smiled. "Okay, so three years after the fact… our first viewing of the hit NBC series The Office. Anything you'd like to say?"
"Will it be horrible of me to laugh at Michael and Dwight every time they get on screen?" she asked, and he shook his head no. "Okay then, let's play it!"
Jim pressed the play button on the remote, hearing the theme song for the show for the first time. "Who picked this music?" he asked.
"Shh," she replied, trying to hum along with it. "God, these notes are so funky, I can't get the right rhythm at all." He joined in with her, both of them laughing as they completely messed up.
"Well, we've got like 60 more episodes left to watch, so maybe we'll get it by then," he smirked. She laughed as the opening credits finished rolling, the first scene fading into Jim, talking to Michael in his office.
"Mmm who's that sexy man?" she asked, and he rolled his eyes, laughing. They watched as Michael came out of the room, walking over to Pam. She grimaced.
"If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple of years ago." Michael growled at the camera.
Jim turned and looked at her, his mouth open, "he said that to you?" She only nodded. "I'll kill him. Tomorrow."
"It's fine," she smiled, looking up at him. Her knight in shining armor, always willing to come to her rescue. She watched as various other conversations took place. They both winced when Todd Packer walked into the office, each of them remembering how unpleasant Todd had always been. They laughed at the possibility of downsizing, both of them knowing it'd never happened. Jim was just about to mention something about it, when Pam shushed him. He looked up at the screen to see himself (albeit younger) approaching her desk.
"I have an important question for you," she stated, and he felt his heart skip a beat as he took a jellybean.
"Yes?"
"Are you going to Angela's cat party on Sunday?" she asked, and he rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, stop. That is ridiculous," he replied.
Jim laughed. "And to think we actually go to them now," he said. Pam laughed along with him, rolling her eyes. "Watching this reminds me how absurd it is that she actually became one of your best friends. It's just ridiculous, Beesly."
"Halpert," she corrected, smiling. "And don't knock on Ang. She's really changed. And you know as well as I do that every wild child needs her resident choir girl best friend."
Jim laughed. "I don't know what's funnier, the image of you as a wild child, or flag that just waved in my mind about Angela's cat party on Saturday."
"Is that this Saturday?" Pam asked, and Jim rolled his eyes, nodding. "I completely forgot. Oh well, Gracie will be happy."
"I swear, I feel like Danny Tanner," he mumbled and she gave him a quizzical look. "And you're DJ, and Angela's Kimmy Gibbler and our daughter is poor Stephanie Tanner, forever doomed."
"Shut up," she laughed, hitting him in the face with a pillow. "It's not like you can talk when your choice of a best friend is obviously askew." He huffed, turning his attention back to the TV as Pam came on, talking about her watercolors and illustrations and how he thought they were good. She smiled up at him, slightly embarrassed.
"I still think they're good," he said, not even looking at her. She smiled, resting into his lap once more. A few random scenes with Michael passed by, before a series of cold opens, which neither of them seemed to remember.
"If I left, what would I do with all this useless information in my head? You know? Tonange price of manila folders? Um, Pam's favorite flavor of yogurt, which is mixed berry."
She smiled, "I'm impressed you knew that."
"Jim said mixed berries? Well, yeah, he's on to me. Um…" She laughed.
"Wow, don't look so excited," he grinned, looking at her.
"It was flattering that you knew that," she replied, grinning. He laughed, kissing her forehead. "Oh god, this is good!" she said, pointing at the TV. "I remember this."
"Is this when I...?" Jim trailed off as he watched Dwight pull open his file drawer and pull out a mold of jello with a stapler in it. Jim grinned. "Yes!" he said, and Pam put her hand up for a high five. He obliged, laughing as the scene continued. Michael trying to convince Dwight to eat it out. Ryan's horrible custardy joke. Jim eating jello from a cup.
"I'll have you know," Pam started, smiling. "You might have known my favorite flavor of yogurt, but I win, because I knew your favorite flavor of jello."
"My favorite flavor of jello is everyone's favorite flavor of jello, Pam," he sighed, and she laughed.
"Cherry? Everybody's favorite? Really, Jim?" she asked.
"Well it's yours, and mine, and Gracie's," he said, shrugging. "Everybody important." She smiled, looking down at her ring finger for a second before back at the TV, laughing as Michael delivered one of his famous comedy lines, and Jim delivered his famous lopsided smile. "I love that smile," she said softly. They watched as the two of them talked about walking out together, awkwardly avoiding the subject of Roy until he honked at her to come downstairs. Jim kept his mouth closed, even though he wanted to say something because he knew she wouldn't receive it well. Even after she and Roy had broken up, she still cared for him and hated him talking bad about her first love.
She smiled up at him as the credits rolled again. "Painless."
"Absolutely," he replied, leaning down and kissing her again. "I don't think it's that funny, though," he replied. "I mean, not as funny as everyone says it is."
"I don't know," she replied. "Your jello bit was really funny. Especially with the shot of you eating jello." He laughed. "I bet it gets better. I mean, look how good it gets," she said, winking at him and moving her head slightly to indicate she was referring to the two of them.
He smiled, "okay, next episode is on," he said, starting to hum the unfamiliar music again. Pam's rhythm was way off, but he didn't say anything. She had always had a hard time singing. She had a beautiful voice, but it was soft and clear and somewhat breathy. He thought it was gorgeous, but she was really self-conscious of it.
She grinned, "oh my god, I remember this day!"
"Well you should, it is your life," he replied, smiling. He watched as Mr. Brown came into the office to start diversity training, and then smiled. The camera panned on he and Pam, and he knew what was coming up. "I love this part."
"I don't remember it," she smiled.
"Solitaire?"
"Yeah, Frecell," she responded, staring at her screen.
"Six on seven," he said, pointing.
"I know. I saw that," she replied.
"So then, why didn't you do it?" he asked. She smiled, looking up at him.
"I'm saving that 'cause I like it when the cards go T-ts-ts-tch-tch-tch"
He smiled. "Who doesn't love that?"
"You love that part?" she asked, giggling. "May I ask why?"
"I can't do the imitation of the cards. I thought it was pretty incredible you can," he replied, shrugging.
"Oh come on, let me hear it," she smiled. He shook his head no, wrinkling his nose. "Come on Jim, let me hear your impression."
He sighed, opening his mouth and trying, but ended up spitting like Daffy Duck. She grinned, giggling. "See, I can't do it."
She smiled, leaning up in his ear, her lips on her teeth softly making the sound. "T-ts-ts-tch-tch-tch." He grinned, leaning towards her and whispered in her ear.
"Sexy," he grinned. She laughed. He watched her laughing, aware once against how beautiful that sound was. He turned back to the TV, running his thumb over her hand. She smiled in response, her eyes glued to the TV. All of a sudden, she started laughing, jumping up and down on the couch lightly. "What?" he asked, and she turned to him, grinning, her eyes wide.
"I never found out what my card said!" she responded, grinning. "I'm about to find out!" He laughed.
"Are you kidding?" he asked, knowing she wasn't. She pursed her lips together, her eyes smiling at him. "You were Jewish."
"Ohhhhh" she said, snapping her fingers together. "That explains it." He laughed at her, and she joined in as the show played in the background lightly.
Pam's head was on Jim's shoulder when the meeting ended. He shrugged lightly, "Um Hey…" he smiled at her. She stirred.
"Mmmm."
"Hey," he said again, smiling.
"Oh." She sat up.
"We can go."
"Sorry," she said, blushing lightly.
"That's fine," he replied, watching her leave.
The camera panned into a cold open, showing just Jim.
"Uh… Not a bad day," he said.
She smiled, looking up at him. "I have a confession."
He laughed, "what's that?"
"I wasn't really asleep," she said, smiling. He laughed.
"I know."
"You did not!"
"Did too."
"Liar," she laughed, swatting him lightly. "I'm going to go get some popcorn or something. You want something?"
"Popcorn sounds great, actually," he said, as she got up out of his lap, walking into the kitchen. "I'm going to go check on Grace."
"Okay," she called, glancing at the clock as he head upstairs. After a quick peek into his four-year-old's room and a quick run to the bathroom, Jim wandered back downstairs, sitting down on the couch just as Pam reemerged from the kitchen. She handed him the popcorn bowl, "here." He smiled. Of course he'd be holding the popcorn bowl. "Gracie okay?"
"Sleeping like a baby," he replied.
"That expression is crap," she retorted, as he started the show again. "Babies wake up wailing all the time."
Jim laughed humming along to the theme song. She smiled, yawning lightly. She watched absentmindedly as Jan told Michael about the new health care plan he'd have to pic. Jim huffed beside her as Michael asked him to take over, and then she smiled, seeing the two of them together.
"Ooh! It's us again!" she grinned. He laughed, rolling his eyes.
"Last night on Trading Spouses, there's…" he started, "have you seen it?" he asked.
"No, I have a life."
"Interesting. What's that like?" he asked, teasing her.
"You should try it sometime."
"Wow. But then who would watch my TV? That is…" she interrupted him.
"Your problem."
She grinned at the TV, laughing along with him before she turned up to look at him. "I'd watch your TV."
"I know," he laughed. "You're doing it right now." She smiled.
"Funny to think that now Trading Spouses is like my favorite show," she laughed, and he smiled. "Hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge."
He grinned, knowing his next comment would be perfect. "Well, maybe you and your best friend Angela should go on the show together."
Her eyes went wide as she hit him with a pillow repeatedly. "That is disgusting! You know I would never, ever be able to do that!"
"Why? Not a fan of Dwight?" She laughed. "I've always wondered though… When you trade spouses, what happens to the sex?"
"Uh, you don't have it?" Pam said. He wrinkled his eyebrows. "Second reason I won't switch with Angela. You couldn't last a week without sex."
He grinned, "if Angela was the partner, I could last a lot longer than a week."
She smiled. "What if I'm the partner?"
"There's no hope," he replied, and she grinned as he faced back to the TV, both of them realizing they'd just missed a few key parts of the show.
Pam scoffed as Dwight came on the screen. "Why would you want to lower your cholesterol?" she asked, a beat before on-TV Pam asked the same thing. Her eyes went wide, and Jim looked at her, eyes wide, grinning as he put his hand up.
"High five Halpert, that was awesome," he said, and she laughed, obliging.
"I guess some things never change," she replied, and he smiled. They looked at each other for a moment, before she heard the familiar voice she loved so much.
"Wait. What are you writing? Don't write Ebola or mad cow disease. Right? 'Cause I'm suffering from both," he said, leaning over her desk.
"I'm inventing new diseases."
"Oh, great," he responded.
She smiled. "So, let's say my teeth turn to liquid and then, they drip down the back of my throat. What would you call that?" she asked.
"I thought you said you were inventing diseases. That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."
"Nice."
"Thank you," he smiled.
She smiled, "do you remember when your niece lost her tooth at our house and you told her mom she was suffering from that?"
"Yeah," Jim laughed. "Susanna hated me."
"Well, she had reason to. You made her think her daughter had a disease that isn't covered by any medical insurance." He grinned, laughing lightly. He shrugged, and she smiled, reaching for some popcorn.
He watched as they had a conversation on the phone while Dwight was locked in his workspace. They were talking about weekend plans when suddenly Jim turned to Pam. "Did you ever get those new shoes?"
"Mmhmm," she replied, smiling. "Those white keds that won me that dundy."
"Oh, good," he nodded. "Oh!" he said, and she looked at him. "I found Grace's other Ked. It was in the backseat under that sweater you keep back there for when the restaurants are cold."
"Oh, really? I thought I checked there," Pam said, shrugging as the episode ended. "I'm glad we don't have to buy her any new ones."
"Yeah because Keds are really expensive," he grinned. Pam hit him upside the head, and he smiled, kissing her nose. "You know I think your Keds are sexy, though."
"How many times are you going to use the word sexy tonight?"
"I don't know, I haven't finished counting yet," he replied. She rolled her eyes.
"How many episodes are left on this disc?"
"Three," he replied, and she yawned. "We can finish it tomorrow night, if you want. I mean, it's not like it's going to up and walk away. We do own it."
"That sounds good," she yawned, and he smiled. "I should go to bed anyway. I want to be alert for Gracie tomorrow." He nodded, picking up the popcorn bowl and carrying it into the kitchen. When he came back out he smiled, holding out his hand. She took it and he gave her a small hug. "Mmm." She said, resting her head on his shoulder in response to the hug.
"Pam?" he asked, feeling the weight of her body against his shoulder. "I know you're kidding, cut it out." He laughed, and her head came off his chest. She was grinning.
"I was wondering if you were looking at me the same way you were that time," she said, grinning.
He rolled his eyes. "Of course I was, silly." He started walking upstairs, dragging her behind him lightly. He crawled into bed, thankful that they'd already put their pajamas on before watching the show. She crawled in next to him, wrapping her arms around his waist.
"I like being the big spoon sometimes," she giggled, and he rolled his eyes, laughing. She had a thing about them alternating who held who. At first it had been kind of annoying, but now it was just an endearing part of her personality.
He took her hands in his, smiling to himself before he leaned down and kissed them. "Goodnight Halpert."
"Goodnight Halpert," she replied, and it wasn't long before her breathing was deeper and he knew she'd fallen asleep.
Let me know what you think and review please! And I know, I'm silly and retarded for starting another story. But it won't affect Diary or Alpha, I promise!!!