A Partridge in a Pear Tree
"No bloody chocolate."
"What did I tell you about opening those windows in advance?" Alex raised an eyebrow as she unfolded a string of lights.
Despite Gene's initial burst of festivity, December had proven to be a difficult month for everyone and somehow it was Christmas eve already and the tree still wasn't up. Gene was happy to leave it down – he was feeling somewhat strange about Christmas, remembering that he'd spent the last one without Alex. That should have been more of a reason to make a big deal about it but the more he thought about the festive season the more he remembered spending the last one without her.
"Only window I've got left to open is the bedroom one if Shoebury tries gatecrashing this year," he mumbled.
Alex stood up and pulled forward a chair to stand on.
"You've turned into Scrooge," she said, "you need to get a little more Christmas spirit in you."
"Plenty of Christmas spirit in me," Gene commented, taking another swig of scotch.
"That's not Christmassy," Alex told him.
"I'll stick a sprout in it," Gene mumbled.
Alex fixed the end of the lights to the top of the tree and began to wind them around the branches.
"It would do you good to come to the Christmas party tonight," she told him.
"What, spend the night shaking my backside to Will bloody Smith in the company of the Twelve Gays o'Christmas," Gene shook his head, "no ta."
"Gene, that's not nice," Alex told him, "…besides, half of them are bisexual."
"That include you?" Gene asked and Alex looked uncomfortable.
"Pass," she said as she stepped down from the chair and started winding the lights around the lower branches. She felt a little strange about the question, partly because she was no closer to an answer than she had been months before and partly because it felt incredibly strange for such a question to be coming from Gene.
"I just want to know whether you're going to be taking yer copy of Bound back to the shop on boxing day or not," Gene told her.
"You can't figure out someone's sexuality based on their viewing habits," Alex pointed out.
"I'm not so sure about that," Gene told her, "thinking back you seemed to show a lot of interest in the girly scene in Moll Flanders."
"Oh, shush now," Alex admonished as she finished winding the lights around the tree and bopped Gene on the head with a box of new tree decorations.
"I'm just saying if Stringer was more of the heaving bosoms type then maybe this whole situation would be a bit more interesting for me," he told her.
"For you and your left hand," Alex raised an eyebrow. Gene couldn't really think of a good retort to that so he let her win that round.
"The Christmas do though… Nah, don't really feel like it," he said, going back to her original point, "not really my scene." He paused. "You should go though."
"I don't want to go without you," Alex frowned.
"Need you out the house for a while," he told her.
"On Christmas eve?" Alex frowned, "why?"
Gene cleared his throat.
"Don't want you to see me pilfering stuff from the kitchen drawer to wrap up for our nearest and dearest," he mumbled.
Alex rolled her eyes and tried to look annoyed but didn't quite succeed. It was good to know that some things really never changed.
~xXx~
"Guys, I told you, I'm not having a tree."
Robin ad Kim exchanged a look and folded their arms.
"I've heard about you," Robin told Simon, "you've turned into a real Scrooge over the last couple of years."
"I'm not a Scrooge, I just don't see the point of decorations!" Simon protested.
"Scrooge," Kim told him.
"I'm going to be here on my own all day tomorrow," Simon reminded them, "there's going to be no one around to see so what's the point of decorations?"
Robin looked at Kim who seemed sad and was looking at Simon with pity.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I guess we… forgot that."
"I'm not happy about you being on your own," Robin told him quietly.
"I'm not five, I don't need babystting!" Simon cried.
"No, but –"
"I'm fine," Simon repeated, "I don't feel much like celebrating anyway. It'll just be a normal day, except instead of spending it chasing renegade toasters I'll get to spend it in front the TV." He paused. "With beer."
"Si," Robin said sadly, "You can't spend Christmas alone."
Simon shrugged a little despondently.
"That's just the way it is though," he said quietly.
"I suppose you could always spend tomorrow round with us," Kim suggested but Simon could tell that both she and Robin were relieved when he shook his head.
"You two need to spend your first Christmas together, alone," he told them.
"It's not our first Christmas," said Robin.
"It's your first one here," Simon told them, "and your first one alone, right?"
"That's true," Kim nodded. As much as she and Robin had enjoyed having Alex as a houseguest they couldn't deny they were looking forward to having privacy for the big day - and not have to worry about making a noise in case they gave Alex another year of nightmares.
"Kim's right though, Si," Robin began, "you've had a couple of shitty Christmases. You deserve a good one."
"I wouldn't say they were totally shitty," Simon said, catching Kim's eye and smiling.
"Gate-crashing Gene and Alex was the best decision we ever made," she said, "even if Gene did give me a wooden spoon or somthing."
"And you ate ten pounds of sprouts," Simon reminded her and Kim blanched.
"Thank you for bringing back that glorious memory," she cringed.
"That was probably the start of your digestion issues," Simon told her.
"I don't have bloody digestion issues!" Kim cried, her face burning up at the accusation.
"No, of course not - it's the drains making the noise, I suppose," Simon laughed but found a long, plastic icicle in front of his nose.
"Care to see if this fits up your nostril?!" Kim offered violently and Simon gave a nervous laugh.
"Erm, that's OK," he said, backing away.
Robin started to pull the tree pieces out of the black bag they'd been residing in.
"Let's just get this together without any fatalities," he said.
"I told you I don't want decorations," Simon sighed.
"You had a tree, you might as well use it."
"I never wanted the tree in the first place," Simon protested.
"You've still got one," Robin pointed out. He froze. "You've got our tree." He turned to Kim looking slightly distressed, "Kim, this is our tree! The one that went missing!"
Kim groaned and rolled her eyes.
"Oh god," she sighed, "you've barely gotten over the trauma of that."
"I decorated this thing!" Robin cried, "the whole tree and it just… vanished!"
"Yeah well," Simon huffed, "at least you didn't hand over money to Gene for losing a bet that he wasn't going to decorate it, only to find out later that the tree teleported from two thousand and bollocks!"
"Our tree!" Robin said pitifully and Kim rubbed his shoulder with a sigh.
"There there," she said.
"No need to be sarcastic!"
"I was trying to be supportive!" Kim protested.
"I knew this tree was more trouble than it was worth!" Simon told them
"Some might say the same about us," Kim commented as she looked from Simon to Robin and they all exchanged a smile. Simon looked down as he thought fondly back to the Christmas he and Kim had shared in nineteen ninety five; the very best of friends, gate-crashing Alex and Gene's Christmas, ending up blind drunk and rounding off the day with a cheesy film while they nursed their aching heads.
"That's true," he said quietly.
The three of them smiled again. Between them all lay a lot of memories.
"Simon?" Kim said quietly, "come round tomorrow?"
"Please?" Robin added.
Simon hesitated as he looked at their faces and saw this time there was no hesitation in their invitations. There was a part of him that still wasn't sure about intruding but he knew they were sincere, and besides he really didn't want to be alone.
"Alright," he same with a sift smile, "thank you."
"Yessss," Kim smiled.
"But no sprouts," Simon warned.
"Deal," Robin smiled back.
"Good," Kim began, "I'm glad we've got that settled. Now can we please get these decorations on the tree before they do another disappearing act?"
Simon finally nodded.
"Unscrooge me," he told them.
~xXx~
"Was that all you needed, babe?" Shaz asked as Marci took the long string of lights from her and looked over the bulbs.
"Oh you star," she said thankfully, "that was all, thank you so much, Shaz. I can't believe my lights died the day before Christmas."
"Hope these are alright," Shaz said, "we used to put them outside the door but since my flatmate moved in with her boyfriend and I found the other place there's nowhere to hang them."
"Lifesaver," Marci smiled happily. She leaned forward and kissed Shaz's lips quickly before asking, "See you tonight?"
"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Shaz smiled. She linked hands with Marci briefly then had to pull apart to leave while Marci stood at the front door with a big smile across her face. She flew Shaz a kiss then turned around slowly to find Jake standing along the hall, arms folded and one eyebrow raised.
"Oh Shaz, I can't wait for tonight," he squeaked in a voice that didn't resemble Marci's in the slightest.
Marci rolled her eyes and closed the door.
"You're just jealous because you can't seem to get past the 'friendly dinner' stage with Chief Inspector Thomas," she retorted.
"Oh yeah? Well you're a fine one to talk right now," Jake teased as Marci took the lights through into the living room, "I've never seen you take a relationship this slowly in your life." He paused as she knelt by the tree to plug in the lights and test them out, "even with the guy who was biologically confused and wasn't sure what part he was supposed to use."
"Jake, he was extremely pissed, and for what it's worth that was a very large haemorrhoid!" Marci told him crossly.
"It's true though," Jake's tone was softer now as he tilted his head curiously, "why are you two moving so slowly? You're perfect for each other. Everybody says so."
"Who's everybody?" Marci asked.
"Me and Robin."
Marci sighed.
"I refer you to my previous point," she said.
"Marci," Jake sat down and folded his arms, "it's just unusual for you, you know."
Marci glanced around and found herself starting to feel a little sad.
"Yeah," she said quietly, "I know. And you are right. I'm nervous."
"When have you ever been nervous?"
"I mean about pushing Shaz too quickly," Marci told him, "after what she went through with her ex… thinking she was dead all that time, and then freaking out with me… I don't want to take things too fast."
"Didn't you see her eyes light up when you mentioned tonight?" Jake asked, "She probably thinks you're the one who's not ready because every time you say goodbye and she starts to ask you back for the night you start yawning and stretching and taking about having an early start!"
"This is still rich coming from you," said Marci. She switched on the lights and smiled as they all lit up and began to dance around in a circle, then started to frown as they began to play We Wish You A Merry Christmas at a pace and pitch that quite frankly should have been illegal. She pressed the button a few times to shut them up and breathed a sigh of relief. "You know, I really thought this was going to be the year that Jake Dawson shed the terminally single label."
"What are we here to pull apart, our love lives or the Christmas tree?" Jake asked and Marci gave a sigh.
"Alright," she said, getting up from the floor, "let's do this."
They approached the tree somewhat cautiously and began trying to work the old, broken lights out from the branches, but with layers of tinsel and baubles over the top it was impossible.
"Think we're going to have to just lay these on over the top and hope for the best," Jake told her.
"I think you're right," she said. She worked her way along to the end of the string. "Go on, you're taller than me, fix this to the top.
"Charming," Jake responded. He stretched up and began to twist the end of the wire around the top branches. "Some things never change," he commented, "I've been doing the top of your lights since you were a kid.
"I paid you with a frog," Marci remembered.
"Where did you even catch it?" Jake asked.
"I don't know but it was the start of a beautiful friendship." Marci smiled.
"I'm not sure beautiful is the way to describe it," Jake stepped back and handed the rest of the wire to Marci. "Here."
"Thanks," she said as she began to wind it around carefully. She sighed as she looped it around the branches, "anyway, don't do us down, Dawson. How many other people do you know whose friendship started with a leaping amphibian?"
"Like you did me a favour!" cried Jake, "you've no idea how much trouble I got into!"
"You didn't even have the common decency to call it Kermit!" Marci protested and Jake gave a quiet laugh as he helped Marci to unravel the rest of the wire.
"The next Christmas I did it for free," he pointed out, "far less hassle."
"Every Christmas you helped me," Marci smiled.
"Loved our Christmas traditions," Jake told her, "helping each other with the trees, swapping presents on Christmas eve, your family throwing a fit because I rang the bell at half eight on Christmas morning…"
"Me getting the 'this is a family time' lecture every year, " Marci added.
"At least it was a family time for you," Jake said quietly. His hand rose to his neck and felt for the chain under his shirt as Marci's expression fell a little.
"Yeah," she said quietly. They both sank to the ground, even though the lights were only half done. "I know you must have been thinking about her lately, so close to Christmas."
Jake took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
"It's funny," he said, "I was so young when she died that I don't really remember much about her but times like this I always think of her. Christmas. Birthdays. The anniversary.
"Yeah," Marci said quietly. She laid a hand over Jake's and rubbed it softly.
"After she died Dad was never bothered about Christmas," Jake continued, "only had a tree every year because you came round to help me. Then again, Dad was never that bothered with me."
"Did you ever think about tracing –"
"No."
"But you've got family you've never met –"
"and I never will because the last thing they need is a stranger turning up on their doorstep," Jake told her, "seriously, Marci, we've been through this over and over."
"I know," Marci said quietly. She knew that it wasn't her family or her decision but Jake often seemed so alone. She could see his expression growing strained and decided to do her best to change the subject. She started to pick up the lights again and gave him a little smile. "Remember the Christmas we got stranded in the car and you claimed you heard sleigh bells?"
"I thought they were!" Jake protested.
"You were bloody seventeen at the time!" Marci reminded him.
"Remember the Christmas you ate the cake mix raw and barfed all over the tree?" Jake countered.
"The eggs were off," Marci protested.
"So was your stomach for the rest of Christmas," Jake teased.
"Remember when you bought your dad Sonic Spinball for Christmas and we spent most of the holidays doing stupid voices to put him off?"
"He never did complete the damn thing," Jake smiled nostalgically, "and remember the time I saved you a cracker –"
"And it was the only one without a bloody gift in it," Marci finished, "Yeah. I still swear someone took it out."
"I would never do that!" Jake told her, "…I'd already fixed it so that I would get the big end, I had no reason to take the gift out!"
They both fell silent with their nostalgic smiles, remembering years gone by. Finally Marci asked,
"Hey, Jake? Remember last Christmas?"
Jake hesitated. His face creased in confusion.
"No," he said quietly.
Marci bit her lip. She thought she was the only one.
"Neither do I," she whispered.
That was the first time either of them realised that something wasn't right in their memories or in their minds. It was the first time that either had put a question mark over their existence.
For the sake of the world, just pray it was the last.
~xXx~
A/N: Don't faint… this is going to be fluff. Yes, fluff. Happiness, smiley faces, nice cheerful fluff. Well about 95% of it is fluff anyway! I was just going to do a Christmas oneshot but I finished my last fic much faster than I thought I would so I decided to make this a proper fic with each chapter named after the corresponding day in the Twelve Days of Christmas. I'll warn you now, it's also going to be pretty shippy and the rating will be rising to an M around chapter 4. Different people like different things so if you're not interested in the fluff that's fine, skip this fic and start reading again when I start the next story and pick up the serious plots again :)
Of course I don't own Ashes to Ashes, I wish I could say the same about Simon's jumper :P
I hope you enjoy some cheerful fluff for once! Oh, and, erm… happy Christmas… in March!