When they came to ask him if he would train people McCoy said no. He was a doctor and not a fighter; not anymore. Sure, he had fought. Sure, some people in special groups of special military fighting knew his name, sure. But he was done with that part of his life and nothing would make him go back that path.
Of course, nothing seemed to be Christopher Pike.
Damn that man and his unfair methods of convincing people to do stuff they never wanted to do again. Damn that man because of the fact that he always was right. The Academy needed people who knew how to fight and survive and they needed them to pass on their knowledge. McCoy wasn't supposed to be a PE teacher, he was supposed to train students on hand-to-hand combat class because that's what he learned early in his life, that's what granted his survival so many years ago.
Damn Christopher Pike, seriously.
"FINE, I'll do!" McCoy had said, grudgingly and agreed to the mans offer to play instructor as long as possible. He would do it; he would show a few students that they knew nothing about fighting, he would show them how stupid fighting was in it's very essence; he would show them that the best fight was a fight that didn't happen.
He knew he sounded like some wise monk but it was damn true, okay. McCoy was a doctor because of a reason. He had hurt enough people in his life; now it was time for him to do the right thing and instead of destroying he started to heal.
He agreed to Pike but he never said he would do it without nagging.
"But just so you know, I hate you for making me do this. It's idiotic." He had told Pike but the man smiled nevertheless.
"That's fine with me, Doctor McCoy as long as you keep your word and train them."
"How do you even know about my career before I became a doctor? It's top secret and the file about it is sealed. Just the really high higher ups have the security level to open it and read what's written there."
"Well..." Pike had grinned at him, leaning against the sickbays doorframe and Bones rose his hands into the air, frustrated and angry.
"Shut it, I don't even want to know."
McCoy grumbled again, bitching about stupid Starfleet officers and what was hand-to-hand combat even good for damn it but he said he would train students so he kept his promise.
That's how it happened that instead of his cadet uniform he now wore a black shirt and black trousers. That's how it came that after a five hour shift at the hospital, two classes, lunch and a shower he stood in a freaking gym on one of those damn blue mats around 1600 and waited for the students to arrive. Great, oh this was so great. He hated his life.
The weather was okay, sunny but not to warm and the gym was huge. Like, really huge. Which wasn't that big of a surprise because Starfleet still was somehow the military even if the main aim of it was to find and explore new planets and the deep space, keep peace and all. Ships with torpedos, security guards with phasers and students with combat sport classes? Definitely a military part and every military had a place to train. For god's sake, Starfleet even had indoor swimming pools, huge grass fields for sport events (SPORT EVENTS!) and those red tracks for people who loved to run.
But the gyms? They topped it, basically, because there were mats and, and all that damn equipment someone could possible need for work out. The only thing McCoy needed for his lessons was that blue mat under his feet, his mouth and some dumbass who would take his words as an insult, be sassy and challenge him. Then Bones could show everyone from the start that he maybe hated this job because he was a doctor at heart but that he also knew what he was doing and that there was a reason for him being the teacher here even if he himself studied, too.
It only took half an hour for all the people in his class to arrive. McCoy was damn happy that there weren't more then 25 people because that was really enough to handle for one person. The people formed small groups pretty fast, talking and whispering and looking around suspiciously. McCoy could guess why and he was right: A second later he heard someones question where the hell is the teacher, the class started ten minutes ago! And that was his sign to start his beautiful second life as a teacher. In Starfleet. For combat class. Did he mention that his life was a row of weird actions?
"So everybody, listen up!" He shouted through the hall and everyone's attention turned to him immediately. So far, so good.
"Get your asses over here, since everybody showed up who's supposed to show up we're going to start now." The students gathered around him, in front of the mat and stared at him, whispering again and McCoy rolled his eyes.
"You're a student." Someone pointed out and McCoy stared that guy down, one eyebrow hoisted.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious, for stating the obvious! I nearly forgot that I'm a student." His voice dripped of sarcasm. And before anyone could say anything similar stupid he added: "I'm Leonard McCoy and Starfleet asked me to be a hand-to-hand combat teacher for a while which gets me extra money and you extra bruises, sprained ankles and broken bones. The kid's right, I'm still studying myself but I know what I do when it comes to fighting and if anyone's having a problem with that? There's the door." He looked at the young faces, some bored, some suspicious, some scared and pointed at the entrance/exit.
"Anyone here who really wants to take the risk and question me? If yes, please step forward now."
McCoy's life was fucked up for sure but he used every opportunity he could get to enjoy it. He could enjoy this. He could enjoy beating the living hell out of that guy who just stepped forward, yes, and after that his life would be less annoying because no one here would think he wouldn't know how to beat someone up.
It only took a few seconds for McCoy to remember the face, those blue eyes, that dirty blond hair. It was the kid from the shuttle. Jim. Jim Something. He forgot but that was to be excepted because he had been drunk when he enlisted for Starfleet, he had been horribly, horribly drunk.
"I'm questioning you. You're a student, you're at least ten years older then most of us..." The kid looked around slightly, crossed his arms and stepped up to McCoy and with that onto the mat, "...And you're studying medicine. Your job is too heal people not to hurt them so yes; I really think you have not the smallest idea on how a good fight works. I don't think you know anything about fighting. I actually think..." The boy grinned arrogant and charming at the same time and that was the moment McCoy decided that he definitely would enjoy beating the kid up, "...That I know more about fighting then you do."
The grin McCoy flashed in response was dangerous and predatory.
"You think you know shit about fighting?"
"Did I stutter?" Jim replied fast. McCoy crossed his own arms now, too, strengthen his stand by getting his legs a little bit more apart. His grin disappeared and his mouth became a thin line; that kid really started to be a cocky pain in the ass.
"Really. Well kid, I hate to ruin your view of life but Forget ALL of your so called knowledge about fighting because you know nothing 'bout it."
Everyone else in the gym took a step back so a nice circle formed around the four by four meters huge mat. McCoy stood in the middle of it, Jim in front of him and a little bit too near. The word 'challenge' was written on the boy's forehead, his chest who seemed to be puffed up and it clearly was delivered through those intense and unnatural blue eyes.
Jim chuckled.
"I can beat you any time, old man. I could fight you right now and I would beat you." Oh Jesus, sweet Jesus, finally McCoy got the anger management he needed: Beat arrogant jerks up until they're a bloody mess. Okay. No, no he wouldn't make a bloody mess out of Jim Something because he was the goddamn teacher and teachers weren't allowed to seriously injure their students but hell, a few hits and throws were definitely required.
"It's a deal then." McCoy said more to the whole group of students then to the blond boy. He loosened his arms up and walked to one side of the mat, looking at Jim and waiting for him to do the same. Soon, they stood in start position for a fight, nearly the whole mat was between them.
It was dead silent in the gym, a few people even held their breath, when McCoy spoke up again.
"C'mon kid, get it started." McCoy's legs again were separated; his left leg was in the front, his right was back, hands up, his chest turned towards Jim.
The kid mirrored him quickly and they stood still for a few seconds but then Jim came at him, throwing the first punch with his right fist.
Leonard nearly laughed, that's how easy it was to block the attack. He grabbed Jim's arm and fist with both of his hands: His right hand held Jim's arm from below, his left from above and he turned his whole body away from the kid, making him stumble forwards but blocking, holding him back before he actually could fall face first.
McCoy used the swing of the punch to throw Jim back instead, with so much force that the boy fell to the ground, grunting slightly.
McCoy grinned, the students 'awwed' and Jim stared at him. Jim seemed to be pissed off. McCoy liked that. Jim lay on is back but moved onto his stomach pretty fast. Before he could stand up, though, McCoy was beside him, grabbing the boys clothes, getting him to his feet and shoving him away to create a nice distance between them again.
"First rule in fighting: Never underestimate your opponent." He announced to the whole class and then again just to Jim: "Nice try but not nearly good enough." He wasn't even out of puff, not the slightest and it felt great. Yes, fighting was mostly something from his past but he loved it, goddammit. He switched back into his fighting position from the start and just as expected the kid didn't. Rage was in those blue eyes and the boy lost all his tactical sense and just started another attack by running at McCoy. Jim's hands landed on the doctors shoulders and within a second McCoy's own hands held onto Jim's front clothing, pushing the boy back three, four steps. When they reached the end of the mat McCoy let go, holding his hands up fast and smacking them down at Jim's arms which still held onto him but had to let go because of McCoy's movements. Fast, McCoy gripped the kid's clothes again, Jim's hands landed now on the side of his shoulders and McCoy let himself fall backwards and to the ground, pulling Jim with him. One of his feet was pressed against the floor, the other one was at Jim's hips, supporting the boys weight right over McCoy's head away. When he was done throwing Jim he rolled to his side and stood up quickly.
Jim didn't.
McCoy grinned again, letting go of his fighting posture. He had to breathe a little harder now but not nearly as hard as the cadet on the ground. Jim panted and grunted, while lying at his back and it was obvious that the boy had a few problems to get up again. Maybe McCoy had been to harsh with him. …Nahh.
He turned to the rest of the class, granting Jim the rest he clearly needed and crossed his arms.
"So. I proved that I really and totally know how to fight even if I'm a student who studies medicine." He threw a glance back at Jim who sat up, looking exhausted and still angry but it seemed that the kid got the message. For now.
"Anyone else here who wants me to prove it?"
Unsurprisingly, no one said a word.
After the class was over Bones had a few gray hairs more ("I said UP for god's sake, UP with those arms!" -"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU INFANT?!") and made one of his students nearly break down in tears. It wasn't McCoy's fault that the particular student was too stupid to even remember the movements he showed and- Anyway, it was over for today.
He had shown easier moves then the ones in the fight, showed them over and over again, explained what they did to the human body (he was a medicine student, he really knew what he was talking about) and what kinds of powers worked.
After the 90 minutes of class everyone was done with moving at all but McCoy shooed them away, out of the gym and into the showers. With one exception.
"Hey kid, get over here. I need to talk to you." He called Jim back who was about to leave with the others. The boy waved to his friends and then turned back, shoulders tense. McCoy smiled at that because he didn't call him back to give him a lecture or anything.
"Yes, sir?" Jim asked, lips tight, not looking McCoy in the eyes. Leonard actually let out a short laugh which surprised himself just as much as Jim.
"No need to call me sir after class. Loosen up, you idiot. I didn't call you back to bitch at you." He rolled his eyes and now Jim didn't look away when their eyes met.
"I just wanted to tell you that you're tough and you did better then I expected. You have a lot of potential inside you, that much is obvious. Try to lead your aggressiveness and macho feelings into work out and studying and you're going to rock this boat pretty soon." He clapped Jim's shoulder, short but not hurting, looked back one time (Jim grinned, too) and left with a grin on his face.
His life was still fucked up but at least he got the chance to beat people and to actually teach someone something useful.
~...~
As weeks passed by everyone in the hand-to-hand combat class grow into the tasks McCoy gave them. They also accepted the fact that he was a student and that sometimes he was late because of his shifts at the hospital or his own lectures.
McCoy actually was proud after what couldn't have been more then a month when he stood in the gym again, watching the students sparring. Everyone gave their best even if they all were tired; maybe it was especially because they were tired. After a day of sitting in uncomfortable chairs and listening to monotonous voices just punching and hitting someone in a routine motion was kind of relaxing. McCoy knew that by own experience. Nothing was better to ease his mind then a few rounds on the sports field, a little fighting with a sparring partner or a sandbag, a hot shower and then a glass of Bourbon when he was back in his rooms.
"Bones!" And there he was, blond and blue hurricane James Tiberius Kirk who annoyed the hell out of him since the first day.
"Quit calling me that!" He told the boy who walked up to him, sweaty and panting and smiling.
"What do you want now, Jim? I've got things to do, places to be!" Not really and they both knew but the phrase slipped out of Leonard's mouth nevertheless.
"Chekov needs a break so I though that maybe you and me, we could fight again." The boyish grin on Jim's face was horrible for Bones mind. Why? Because it made the words which came out of that perfect mouth sound like an invitation to sex and not to 30 minutes sparring.
He rolled his eyes even if there was that warm fuzzy feeling in his stomach.
"You really want me to beat you up again, Jim? Weren't the last three times enough for you?" Because that's how it was. Once a week Jim came to him, asked him to fight and he would agree under the conditions that Jim wouldn't be mad and angry when he lost again. Every time they fought everyone else in the hall stopped practicing (McCoy tried to shoo the other cadets away three times but it never worked, they came back) and came over to watch how Bones beat Jim to a pulp, metaphorically of course. Sure Jim got a few bruises afterwards, one time even a split lip but not more. Leonard was going easy on him.
Jim lost every time but McCoy had to agree that the kid got better and he wouldn't be surprised if Jim Kirk would match his fighting skills one day. The boy would never be stronger or faster then McCoy was but that wasn't because Jim couldn't be good enough; it was just because of the fact that Jim was human and Leonard wasn't.
Not that anyone in his class or at the Academy knew.
No one had to know about his life before he became Leonard Horatio McCoy because it was closed away, filed up and not available for anyone except for him and two or three other people somewhere high in the pyramid of Starfleets command chain.
Anyway.
They fought again that day and again McCoy won but this time Jim landed a pretty good (and painful) punch on his face and he damned himself because the grin in the boy's face showed him that Jim was well aware on how hard he hit. Which meant that Jim also would expect a bruise around McCoy's eye next time they met. Leonard was somehow sure that the kid would come looking for him the next day just to bath in the joy that he actually managed to hurt his combat teacher in return.
The truth was, though, that there would be no bruise on Leonard's face. Not tomorrow and not ever. He healed way to fast to get bruises for anyone to see. Usually it wasn't a problem but now? It occurred to be one because last time Jim managed to get a few hits at Bones stomach and rips and when the doc had no problem walking or breathing or anything, really, Jim had looked confused; and maybe had thought that he didn't hit as hard and right as he thought he did so he let is pass by.
McCoy wasn't an idiot and neither was Jim. Jim would be suspicious if there wouldn't be an injury on Leonard's face tomorrow. Which let to the two decisions he had: Painting his face or pretend to be sick. Painting his face for a week wasn't really that appealing for him and he earned a break anyway so that evening he sent a message to Pike that there were some circumstances which made I necessary for him to leave school for a while. Pike was the one who started this mess so Pike was the one with the responsibility that nothing went wrong and that no one would start guessing something about McCoy could be weird or not-fitting.
He received an answer one hour later in which the Captain agreed to his request and in which he told McCoy that everything was settled and that he got vacation from now (Friday) until next week Friday morning, including the following weekend.
Bones thought that that would work. His plan was to leave campus the next day around 0900. He should have known better.
He was still asleep when his door buzzer chirped happily and McCoy wished he could strangle that thing and the person who wanted to visit him heavily so they would shut the fuck up.
For three minutes he tried to ignore the ringing noise which then turned into knocking in unsteady intervals and some rhythmic cadences. After that he couldn't stand it anymore and by now he was awake anyway.
He crawled out of bed, not ready at all to face anyone because without his first cup of coffee he was more like a zombie then a doctor but he had no choice. He opened the damn door and of course, of course it was James fucking Kirk who greeted him cheerily and with a smile.
Bones stared at him, sighed, turned around and walked into his kitchen. Jim followed him into the doctors quarters which where not huge or anything but they were located in the buildings for staff and that brought a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and a small living area.
While McCoy punched the coffee machine – yes he preferred REAL coffee and not that replicated shit which tasted like water – Jim observed everything. McCoy couldn't really care because he wasn't even awake goddammit and he wouldn't be until the coffee was ready. Leonard stood there, leaning against his counter, watching Jim peeking around in his few belongings.
His mind didn't catch up until he poured some coffee into a mug and drank half of it. He nearly spit out the last gulp he took when his brain finally managed to connect what was happening.
Shit.
First, he was half naked, just in an old shirt and boxers. Second, one of his students was examining his home. Third, that person was James I can do everything Kirk. Fourth, Bones face was bruise-less and Jim surely had noticed by now.
So much to his plan on leaving before the kid could catch him.
A bulb of panic formed in McCoy's chest and tried vehemently to get out and to the surface but he didn't let it get a grip on him. When Jim turned around Leonard was sure that none of his inner screaming and running around was visible at the outside. Anyhow, Jim noticed that he was awake now and the boy decided that it was just the right time to break the news he figured out to McCoy.
"There's a document in your personal file which is completely sealed away. I tried to hack into it but I failed miserably. I never failed before in hacking."
Bones stared at him and took another sip of his coffee.
Jim stared back.
That's all that happened for the next ten minutes; Jim standing in his living room, watching Bones and Bones watching back. They blinked and from time to time McCoy drunk his coffee but no one said a word.
Until Jim sighed, puffed air out his lungs and gave up.
"Okay, fine, then don't tell me. But I know there is something wrong with you." The cadet pointed at Leonard who continued to look, silent, trying to guess how horrible all of this would crash down on him later.
Jim left the living room and walked to the door but before he could leave Bones finally spoke.
"If you know what's good for you, kid, you never ever touch that file again or it comes back and bites you in your ass."
Jim wriggled his eyebrows and grinned.
"Is that a threat?"
The small smile on McCoy's lips faded away and a somehow dark and sad expression appeared, slightly visible, an aura of mysteriousness around the doctor.
"It's a promise I wish I won't have to keep."
And Jim Kirk maybe was a suicidal idiot but even he got a warning like this one; he didn't understand why or how or what this all was about but he nodded shortly and then left Bones to his thoughts.
Which were clouded of memories he again wished could have stayed locked away for ever.
~...~
Now, McCoy had a week of nothingness right in front of him and actually no reason for it because Jim figured it out. Not the secret itself; just that there was one. Leonard wasn't sure if he should tell Pike; what would the guy even do, right? Tell someone? Ha, right.
Pike wasn't even supposed to know, the man had no opportunity to do anything about this mess and neither had McCoy. It was his life, his past that they were talking about but he couldn't care less about all that fuck. If the whole world knew, hell, then that was fine with him. No one except for him was alive anymore anyway, no one who could be offended or anything. All the secretly secrets, they were about failures and faults of people from the government and military and not about some foot soldiers who were at the wrong place at the wrong time.
It was about covering people's reputations, people who were long dead by now.
McCoy shivered. It were moments like that in which he felt like the most lonely person in the whole universe.
~...~
So, he drunk that bottle of Whiskey on his own in two hours.
Which said a lot about his emotional state, seriously, because basically he couldn't even get drunk. Okay, he could if he knocked his immune system out, leaving it busy with diseases and injuries and THEN he was able to fall into a haze of painkillers and alcohol (see, he really had been at his worse when he enlisted in Starfleet) but he had no desire to nearly kill himself today.
He just wanted...
He had no idea what he wanted.
That was the main part of his Saturday.
~...~
Sunday wasn't much better and if anything, it was even worse.
Because he looked fine, his eyes weren't glassy, he had no hangover, he looked fresh and relaxed after he showered and shaved but the reality was depressing: His body was too amazing to look like he felt.
Like something ate him alive and spit him out again.
The thundercloud above his head never left him, though, and when he walked through the academy buildings to truly leave campus today people shied away from him as if he was the bad luck and the devil in one.
Ha. His life was a damn comedy TV show because of course again Jim Kirk found him and that guy was the only person who seemed to give a shit about McCoy's 'Talk to me and I choke you to death' look. Seriously. Why the hell couldn't Kirk leave him alone? He was his teacher (most of the time)! He deserved some peace of mind from that babbling and vibrating energy that was Jim Kirk.
Again, McCoy didn't get the kid.
He looked into Jim's files after their first combat class and had learned that first, the boy's father was a hero. Second, Jim took more classes then he had to. Third, the guy already rocked the boat, passing all his test easily and with high scores.
Why the hell someone like Kirk tried to snuck into Leonard's life was an unresolved mystery.
But then, oh yea, right, mysteries.
Jim knew. Or not knew. Oh goddammit, every time was too early to think about that shit.
"Bones, do you even listen to what I say?"
What did he miss? Since when were they talking about all day stuff and since when did he had to LISTEN? Why were they walking through a fucking park, why was the sun to bright? Where did this all start to go to hell?
Years ago, a small voice whispered in his head and he cursed under his breath, turned to Jim (how they hell did they end up in a PARK?!) and glared like his life depended on it.
"Kid."
Jim returned his look open and grinning and WHAT THE LIVING HELL.
"Fuck off." McCoy said, letting all the hate and confusion out of his mind and heart, slipping into that one look and he so hoped that Kirk would shy away.
The boy didn't, damn.
They spent the rest of the day in the park, headed back to the academy around noon and later, when Bones lay in his bed he wondered why everything seemed to blur into a haze of nothingness when it came to Jim Kirk and reasons.
McCoy wished for an anchor more then anything else because he could feel his sanity slip away, out of his grip, falling to the floor and dying a painful and awful death.
~...~
He tried to stop the miserable thinking when he stood up next day and looked in the mirror. His eyes were green and brown, his hair was brown, too, and he was so damn old. But.
But he was the one who wanted to start anew so he at least should take the damn chance.
With a coffee, self made breakfast and his PADD in front of him he started to write the things down which need to get into line again so that his life would start to make sense.
Jim Kirk. He was a student, he was McCoy's student in combat class. Did that mean he had to stay away from the kid? No. No, not really, because combat class wasn't a class with actual marks. He could talk to the kid and the kid could talk to him. If Jim wanted to stick around Bones okay, fine. There was nothing that forbid that.
The file. He needed a way to get that stupid thing deleted so Kirk couldn't get a look inside. It was too dangerous that the boy managed to hack into it and that the jerks of military came to cut Jim's head off. Kirk didn't deserve a death like that.
Christopher Pike. Wasn't a real problem, just some annoying background music.
His classes and life at the academy. Note to himself: Smile, and at least try to be nice to the people at the hospital. You're a doctor not a Grinch.
His past. Well, he couldn't do much about that one nor could he?
~...~
Tuesday, he decided to do something about the file problem.
He had access to the really top secret stuff and that's how he managed to built thousand more walls around the document, traps and forms which had to be circumvented and filled out just to get to another file which contained a virus which destroyed the persons PADD completely when opened. He hoped that Jim would leave his finger from it now.
After he was done with the file he decided lunch was a good idea; the whole morning and forenoon were gone by now.
When he entered the mess and got his tray with food on it (what the hell was that weird gray thing there, oh well.) he spotted Jim Kirk and a few others from the combat class at one of the tables. He was about to walk straight ahead, do not look up, maybe they won't notice you, Jim saw him, waved and then the others did, too.
He had not the slightest idea why he followed the invitation and sat down with them.
But he was damn happy that he did because suddenly people were talking to him from all sides about all topics and it was such a nice distraction from his own thoughts that after lunch (and one more hour of debating and pointless conversation) he felt light and content in a way he hadn't felt for years.
When Jim asked him about his telephone/PADD number and his email address he gave them to the kid because why the hell not.
~...~
Next day he knew why the hell NOT.
"Bones?" He rose his eyebrow. Wow. That message was like one of the most unnecessary things of all times.
"What. Do. You. Want?" He typed back.
"Oh, you're awake! ;D"
"You woke me up to tell me I'm awake? Do you have a death wish, kid?!"
"Aww, you love me. 3"
"...No, seriously, do you have a death wish?"
His Wednesday was a 'don't you dare to leave the bed' day in which he did actually nothing else then typing with Jim Kirk. A kid from his combat class. A kid he met in the shuttle to Starfleet. A kid who knew something was off about him.
Bones dared to hope that this actually could result in something like friendship again.
That would be amazing.
~...~
Thursday, McCoy peeled himself out of the bed he had barely left yesterday, looked around his quarters and yes; it was time to clean the place.
So that's what he did after breakfast.
New sheets for his bed, laundry was definitely needed, get the kitchen clean and neat again. All the cups and pans and bowls and all the cutlery was put out on the working spaces and Bones wiped the cupboards with a cloth. Then everything was put back in and he decided that music wouldn't hurt anyone.
That's why he didn't hear the message from Jim arrive in which the boy wrote he was going to come over after his last class.
That's why he was polishing the windows, singing along to (OH GOD LET HIM DIE) 'Friday I'm In Love' from The Cure when Jim entered his rooms.
It was possibly the most embarrassing moment in his life when he heard Jim snickering behind him, turned around and fell from the damn chair he was standing on.
"Damn it!" He groaned because that was his writs hurting like hell and the bucket with the water he used for cleaning the windows on his lap. Now empty. Hurray. And the damn music didn't stop.
When he fell Jim rushed to him in an instant and knelt next to him on the ground (of course not in the puddle of soap and water that bastard) and didn't grin anymore; his face showed concern and a little bit shame because basically it had been Jim's fault; he scared the living shit out of Bones which, well, lead to the falling thing.
"Oh my god, I'm sorry, are you alright?" Jim asked and looked so worried, so goddam worried-
McCoy laughed. After a few baffled seconds Jim joined in.
That's how they ended up cleaning Bones' flat together, signing along to cheesy love and rock songs from the early 21 century.
If this hadn't been friendship before? It surely was now.
~...~
"Why do you got vacation when you don't want it anyway, Bones?" Jim asked him on Friday noon, all his classes done for the day. They were sitting in the mess, eating lunch when Jim suddenly changed the topic from 'meaningless' to 'let's investigate the case that is Leonard "Bones" McCoy further'.
For a second McCoy thought about lying to Jim. Then he decided against that because... Because he had lied enough for four lifetimes.
"Because I have no bruises from our fight."
And if Bones had though that that would be it he didn't knew a shit about James T. Kirk.
"Yeah, I get that but why a whole week? I mean, you're missing you classes and your hospital shifts, that's... That's kind of a big deal or not?" Jim shoved a spoon full of peas into his mouth and chewed slowly.
Bones sighed and coughed.
"Or not."
Jim glared at him.
"It's not that I actually need to visit the lectures to pass the exams, you know."
...And that came our more arrogant then he intended it to. It got him a raised eyebrow and he shrugged at Jim's questioning face.
"Starfleet regulations say you have to be a cadet at the academy for a while before you can become anything else so here I am, pretending to be a nice first year even if I could pass all the important tests right now." Jim looked again like McCoy was an disgusting insect which no one would touch.
"Stop your bitchy face, I know you could pass most of your test right now, too."
That caught Jim off guard, obviously, because the poor boy nearly choked on his peas. When the cough attack was over Bones looked at him like 'Yeah. I know you have your own skeletons in your basement.' and Jim's face grew a few shades redder.
After another silent minute in which Jim drunk something and looked everywhere just not at Bones Bones had enough.
"Jim." The kid looked at him, then.
"Bones, what-"
"Don't. Just... Just don't." And McCoy was so dead serious about the fact that Jim never should ask about the file that he even added an: "It would ruin everything. Forget the file. It doesn't exist for you."
They carried on like normal people would and at the evening they went out to a bar and Jim got himself drunk and even if Bones drunk more then Jim and wasn't drunk at all? Jim didn't say a thing about it. Maybe the kid was too drunk to really notice.
~...~
It was Saturday again and from the morning on it was destined to be about talking and talking and talking until Bones thought his ears would start to bleed if Jim said one more word.
McCoy had no idea how the kid managed to ramble about meaningless shit with a hangover, had no idea how Jim managed to talk so much without ever talking about something that would make one of them or both uncomfortable.
They actually did something at that day because Jim dragged him along to a day at that stupid park again, together with a few other cadets Bones had met before but never cared to learn their names. They played Frisbee and ate and and and and.
The thundercloud Leonard was able to shoo away for so long came back and nearly swallowed him. His day was over. The good times were gone. He was back to being his bitchy and grumpy self and sat under a tree, starring at the sky while everyone else had fun.
When Jim tried to motivate him to have fun, to get his head out of his ass, McCoy stood up and left without another word. He saw the hurt in Jim's eyes. He felt the sharp pain in his own heart but he just couldn't stand this anymore. He needed a drink. He deeded painkillers.
He wanted to lose his mind and surf on a wave of self pity even if he long had forgotten why exactly there was so much self pity in him.
He found a liquid story. He drunk it.
He found pills and a few hyposprays.
He lost his consciousness at 1200 and didn't wake up until next day.
~...~
It was bright and it was painful and Bones felt like the biggest asshole in the universe. Why the hell did he behave like an ass towards Jim? The kid just tried to be a friend and make Bones' life less pathetic. Maybe McCoy couldn't stand that though, maybe he couldn't get friends anymore because so many of them died before, maybe he was a hopeless case.
Why didn't his life stopped to suck? He had suffered too much but not enough to let his frustration and anger out in Jim. He needed to apologize, he needed to get back to class, he needed to- Needed to-
Needed to run 500 miles and then 500 miles more.
So that's what he did.
The weather was warm and nice, the sun shone and not one single cloud was at the sky. McCoy entered the gym in which he thought combat class but barely someone was here. It was Sunday, 0900, most people were still asleep.
He saw the blue mat and remember when he first fought against Jim and wondered, seriously questioned when he started to be such a depressed bastard. He had always been sarcastic and an asshole but since when was he so depressed that he couldn't even be sarcastic anymore? Since the vacation started. Why the hell did he take vacation? It made everything worse.
It had been because of the fight. Jim had punched him the face and he was worried that the kid would became suspicious about McCoy that he had sent a message to Pike. Why the hell did he think he was doing?
Bones changed his clothing and left the gym for the huge grass field and starting jogging in circles. His mind started to wander and again, he made an awful list. A list with things he desperately needed to get a grip on or he would fall into a deep dark place he couldn't come back from.
Jim. The kid deserved a better friend. Bones was going to be such a better friend. He would change to become someone Jim could actually call a friend. Someone Jim could trust.
Everything else. Didn't matter anymore.
It took Leonard hours of thinking and running and sweating to figure the last thing out. His past life as John was long gone, all the involved people too. His ex-wife wasn't a problem anymore even if he missed his daughter. The academy- He needed to pass and one day he would be the CMO of a starship and Jim Kirk would be his Captain. That's how it was going to be.
Bones hated the space but for Jim he would go out there and explore new worlds. For Jim he would do anything new because the kid dared to fight him and brought him back to a life McCoy thought was long dead for him. Jim was a pain in the ass and the kid deserved to know everything. Bones would tell him. If anyone of Starfleet or any other military Special Group come for them he would do everything to save Jim.
Leonard didn't know exactly what Jim did that the kid got under his skin like that. He had no idea because one day he had been alone and the next one he thought combat class and met Kirk and a few weeks later they were walking through that park and ate lunch together and somewhere along the line they definitely became friends.
It still felt horribly unreal.
McCoy stopped in his tracks of running when he noticed-
"Fuck you, Pike." It was all Pike's fault. Entirely and utterly Pikes fault. He needed to sent that guy a gift basket.
He grinned and chuckled helplessly and he wouldn't be damn surprised if he figured out that all of it had been an actual plan of that man. Bring McCoy into contact with Jim Kirk. It wasn't destiny, it was the wicked mind of one Starfleet Captain.
The clouds above his head and the stone in his heart vanished and he felt lighter now, content.
That's when he noticed Jim, sitting at the stands.
He jogged over, a smile on his face when he stopped in front of the blond boy. Jim looked a little bit tired but all in all not so bad. Before Jim could do or say anything Leonard started to talk.
"I'm sorry. I'm the biggest fool and asshole in the universe and I promise solemnly that I will change." He sat down next to Jim and stared at the sky for a while, listening to his own breathing and to Jim's.
"How does it come that someone like you entered Starfleet?"Jim asked after a while and it probably was one of the last questions McCoy had expected.
"My goddamn ex-wife got the whole damn planet in the divorce, that was the truth. I couldn't go anywhere else." He shrugged and then Jim shrugged too.
"And you, kid? What did Pike do to convince you to enlist in Starfleet?" Because PIKE, that son of a bitch.
"He dared me to do better then my father."
McCoy nodded.
"I promise you Jim, I'll help you to become a Captain in three years and to do better then your father if you're going to help me to bury the last remains of John Grimm so deep no one will ever again see them."
Jim's face was a big question sign when Leonard looked at him. He smiled slightly and took a deep breath.
"You know, kid, that you never beat my in hand-to-hand combat class has actually a good reason..."
~...~
Three years later, Jim saved the earth with a little help of a few gorgeous people.
Two years later later, he died and was brought back to life by Doctor Leonard "Bones" McCoy.
~...~
"Ouch."
McCoy grinned and barked a short laughter out of his lungs, then started to chuckle. There he was, the youngest and most amazing Starfleet Captain in history, James Tiberius Kirk, landing on his ass over and over again.
"Jim, c'mon, since when do you give up that easily?"
The blond man grinned when he stood up but there was a slight hint of annoyance visible in those blue eyes and Bones knew he got Jim's full attention.
The 'kid' attacked him, grabbing for McCoy's shirt. McCoy himself held onto Jim's shoulders and arms and for a moment they wrestled but then Leonard prevailed. With one step he turned his back to Jim's chest, pulling his Captain's arm over his own shoulder and with a lot of power and Jim's own swing he threw the boy over his back to the ground. McCoy's own right arm was slung around Jim's throat by the time Jim could see straight again, the doc's hand behind his head and holding him down with his weight. Jim struggled against the tight grip but he had no chance to get free; Leonard held his other arm at his wrist down and trapped between his legs.
Jim grunted but McCoy didn't let go completely; he just loosed the grip slightly.
Another chuckle escaped Bones mouth and when he looked down he was greeted by an ingenious smile, blinding him. McCoy let go of his Captain but Jim remained on the ground, head basically in the CMO's lap.
They stared at each other, eyes intense and McCoy shivered because this man there? He knew everything about Bones. He knew about every goddam skeleton in the basement.
After a few more seconds of silence and hard breathing Jim leaned up, towards Leonard's face.
"You gonna kiss me, or what?"
Sometimes, Bones thought that is life was fucked up.
Sometimes, Bones remembered how feeling lonely was like.
But then he also remembered that hand-to-hand combat was a pretty good foreplay and that he still needed to send Pike that god forsaken gift basket.
~FIN~