A resounding ripple in the dark clouds above was the only warning before freezing sheets of rain fell from the sky, drenching the dead earth below. Not even wind touched the landscape anymore, having forsaken the hell that the world had become. For the few still living, the rain was both a blessing and a curse, as those without cover swiftly froze to death, finally at peace, while the living stretched their luck a little more with surplus water from a sky that so rarely anything gave anymore.

Darkness had begun spreading over the world over fifteen years as the clouds had thickened, blotting out the light of the sun. A little a decade ago the world had finally been plunged into an eternal night. Light now came from the constant lightning strikes lighting up the landscape, once having been the cause of tens of thousands of deaths as the world tried to cope, and now only a petty distraction for the sad few remaining. Sometimes, rare glimpses of the baleful moon, somehow visible through a sky that no longer accepted sunlight, was made possible, be it by shifting winds or a merciful deity it remained unknown.

Two dark eyes shaded by the rim of a tattered straw hat looked out into the world from the gloom, catching a brief glimpse of the white shadow in the heavens above, their owner concealed in what could only be considered more of a large crack in the rock face then an actual cave. One of the few times their owner felt content was when the white orb was full in the sky, bathing the world under it in a glow not dissimilar from the pale skin that was a trademark of his family. His long-dead family.

The twin orbs shifted upward as the moon finally moved into view, glinting red in its glow before slowly closing in bliss, as he accepted the peace brought to him without resistance. If only for a short while, he could at least rest now.

Snore!

A loud rumble from inside the cave brought his eyes snapping open and towards the culprit, as a tick just shy of being one centimeter above his left eyebrow instinctively began to twitch. To deny him peace even in this brief moment of solitude. He really was cursed.

He glared at his companion, sprawled without care on the cave floor, and breathing almost as if trying to suck the sandstone ceiling above into their nostrils.

Ugh, and he had just recently run out of that wonderful medicine people from what had been Southern Fire Country had for generations harvested from tree bark, Aspirin. The growing pressure in his mind signaled an oncoming migraine as he briefly considered stuffing his cloak into the perpetrators mouth. But then it would get covered in drool, or worse, swallowed. He had seen his irritating accomplice do stranger things, and he would probably need his cloak later. The cold seasons were due to begin soon.

Out of all the people who had once lived in this world, he just had to end up with the official title of Last Man Alive with this…. creature. Even Deidara would have been preferential. He would rather wave off feeble attempts to kill him then deal with someone who couldn't comprehend the meaning of the word Silence.

Twitching again, he settled for stuffing some of his cloak into each ear, and glaring at her. Maybe she would spontaneously combust. That would solve so many of his problems…

And bring up more. He still needed her strength. He had no one else to rely on, and as much as he was loath to admit it, he wasn't strong enough to solve the dilemma he was partially responsible for creating. Grunting, he settled onto the cave floor, leaning his head against wall, moving his eyes back towards the moon drifting overhead. If could not have his peace, then he would ponder their next course of action.

Snore!!

"……………………"

She had been asleep long enough. Quickly deploying the renowned finesse, legendary speed, and pinpoint accuracy that had made his name household throughout the shinobi world before his migraine hit full force and he would have to create an alternative plan to the one where she was still alive, he palmed a rock.

Fwap

0.3 Seconds Later: Middle of Nowhere

"You're a dead man!" was heard echoing from the canyon walls and into the dark sky above.

Fade to Black:

Anyone else really, really irritated that the manga's most badass character turns out to be a lunatic? (raises hand) Yeah, me to. I've had this swirling around in my mind for awhile now, and managed to put aside some time from college to get it out. I know it's a bit short, but with luck the next chapter will be out both soon and be much longer (taking cues for around 10K per chapter). It will, obviously, have Itachi as the starring attraction, though I plan on dwelling into his mind. Note: This isn't going to be a fluffy love story (or be yaoi, thank you very much). Anyway, enough of my diatribe. Review and let me know if you like my writing style, or what is down so far. 'Till later,

Pope Yoda I