What if Sam's mind and soul actually went to Hell?

"All I'm saying is, it's going to be OK," Dean said.

"I don't know," Sam said doubtfully. "If I did this here, who knows," he fell down mid-sentence and started shaking.

"Sam!" Dean yelled as he saw what was happening. He ran over to Sam. "Sam? Sammy?" he yelled.

Sam stopped shaking and went still. Somehow that was so much worse.

SSS

Sam was on fire. Literally.

"Well, look who's back?"

Sam turned around. He saw Lucifer. He remembered everything now. Maybe not everything, but a lot.

"How did I get back here?" Sam asked.

"I understand Death put a wall up in your head. When the wall crumbles you will die and come back here. When it cracks, you'll come for a visit," Lucifer explained.

"That's right," Michael said and reached out and touched Sam. Sam pulled back. He remembered those hands as instruments of torture. "Judging by the feel, this time you'll be here five minutes."

Sam sighed in relief. Five minutes was nothing.

Lucifer sneered. "That's five minutes earth time. Ten hours hell time."

"Sam!" he heard.

"Dean?" he asked, looking around.

"He's calling to you. You're just hearing him," Michael explained.

"Let's not waste another minute of this ten hours," Lucifer decreed and cut into Sam.

He screamed.

"Finally a break," Adam said. Ever since Sam had left a couple of years ago, Michael and Lucifer had had nothing to do besides torture him.

"Adam? Are you OK?" Sam asked, realizing what an incredibly stupid question that was.

"No. Where did you go? They told me Dean had a choice and saved you and not me," Adam whined, hurt.

Dean hadn't said anything about that. He tried to remember what he had said. He had leverage with Death. Slate wiped clean.

"Dean wouldn't have done that," Sam said. He wasn't so sure, though. He thought maybe Dean would have chosen him over Adam. Especially since the alternative would have included what Dean called "RoboSam" still walking around.

"Whatever," Adam said. He just wanted to enjoy his short respite. He closed his eyes and went to sleep. He couldn't remember the last time he was allowed that escape. He didn't even hear Sam's screams.

SSS

Five Minutes Later Earth Time

"Sammy," Dean begged. "Please, don't do this to me." He still had a pulse, but he was totally non-responsive.

Sam gasped for air and opened his eyes.

"Thank God," Dean breathed. "Let's get you out of here."

"Dean, wait," Sam said.

"What?"

"I just went back to Hell."

"You mean you remembered Hell," Dean clarified.

"No, I went back there," Sam insisted.

"Well, at least it was only for five minutes," Dean said, trying to look at the bright side. But, he was seriously freaked. He was hoping it was just an extremely vivid memory, because if Sam really did go back there, that meant he would probably go back when he died.

"You know the time difference, Dean. It was ten hours. But, that's not my point," Sam said, wondering how to ask what he wanted to ask.

"What, then? What could be more important than the fact that you actually went back to Hell?"

Sam decided to just plunge in. "Did you really choose me over Adam?"

"How did you know about that?" Dean asked, truly confused. That deal had happened up here, not in the cage. No demons involved.

"I don't know how he knew, but Adam told me. Tell me Lucifer and Michael are just messing with him," Sam begged. He was responsible for Adam being there in the first place. He couldn't be responsible for him remaining there. He just couldn't.

Dean avoided his eyes and Sam knew the truth. "Why would you choose me over him?"

"Are you serious, Sam? I don't want Adam in Hell. Of course, I don't. But I barely know him."

"But he was innocent in all of this," Sam argued.

"Yeah, he was. But, you were up here with no soul. It was creepy. And I've spent my whole life protecting you. I could never choose someone over you."

"But, Dean," Sam began again.

"Look, Sam, it doesn't really matter what you say. I made the choice. It's done. There's no way to switch now anyway."

"OK. I just wish you had made the other choice," Sam said.

"Do you really?" Dean asked.

"What?"

"Look, I know you're not selfish. I know you would sacrifice yourself for someone else. But do you remember Hell now? You would really switch places with Adam if you could?"

"No, I guess not," Sam admitted. It hurt him so much to admit that, but he really, really, really didn't want to go back to the cage. Which reminded him of what Lucifer had told him.

"I'm going back anyway," Sam said.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked.

"Lucifer said that when the wall crumbles, I'll go back permanently. Every time it gets cracked, I'll go back for a short time," Sam admitted.

"Well, that settles it. NO MORE SCRATCHING."

"No arguments here," Sam agreed. "Dean, I'm scared."

Dean thought Sam sounded so small. He hadn't heard him say that in a while. "It'll be OK, Sam." It's what he always said when Sam said he was scared. But he could tell this time, Sam didn't believe it.

"What about Adam?" Sam asked again. He just couldn't get past the fact that Adam was still down there and it was all his fault.

"Sam, I researched for months after you fell to find a way to get you out. I found nothing. Death was our only shot and he would only do you."

Sam just realized he had to accept that there was no happy ending here.

"Up for a job?" Dean asked, knowing that he had to get Sam's mind off of this.

"Yeah, OK," Sam said.

The End