Aiding the Enemy
Part 1
"Hey guys!" Timmy called when he came home from school. Cosmo was by the TV. He looked up at him. Poof and Sparky were by him.
"Hey, Timmy!" Cosmo greeted. "You're just in time. 'Where's my Underwear?' is going to start any minute!"
"You still like that lame show?" Timmy asked, setting down his backpack on his desk. He went over to them.
"Of course! It's the most funniest show on Earth!"
"But it's the same in every episode. The guy loses his underwear."
"That's what makes it so funny!"
"If you say so, Cosmo." He looked at his god brother. "You like this show, Poof?" Poof shook his head.
"Not anymore." The fairy baby answered. "Ever since I went through pooferty, this show just seems babyish and silly to me."
"I love this, show!" Sparky piped up. "It makes me wish that dogs could have underwear, just so that I could lose them."
"And now," The announcer spoke on the TV. "It's time for another episode of 'Where's my Underwear?'" Cosmo and Sparky cheered. The screen showed a woman dusting the drawers. The husband came up to her.
"Hey, honey," He told her. "Have you seen my underwear?" The woman looked at him.
"You lost them again?" She asked. "You know, you are completely irresponsible." The man hung his head in shame.
"I know." The studio audience on the TV laughed, so did Cosmo and Sparky.
"Man!" Cosmo said. "That man keeps losing his underwear!"
"I know!" Sparky laughed. "Will he ever learn?"
"That's a good question!" They laughed and laughed. Timmy rolled his eyes with a groan.
"Oh, boy. I'm just going to go and not do my homework."
"You do that, Timmy!" Cosmo said. He went off. The TV flipped to Chet Ubetcha and his newsroom. Cosmo and Sparky groaned in disappointment.
"Aw, man!" Cosmo cursed. "What's more important then about a show about a guy that loses his underwear? This better be good, Chet!"
"Horrible news!" Chet said on TV. "An eleven year old boy, Remy Buxaplanty, has been kidnapped!" Cosmo and Sparky gasped.
"Hey, Timmy!" Sparky called. "Don't you know someone named Remy Buxaplanty?" Timmy went up to them.
"Yeah, why?" He wanted to know.
"Well, that guy on the moving picture box says he's been kidnapped." Timmy was shocked.
"What?!"
"I know, right? And what's worse is they had to interrupt 'Where's my Underwear?' for this."
"That's right." Chet continued on TV. "Remy Buxaplenty has been kidnapped in his own mansion. Let's switch to the boy's parents for the details." The TV flipped to Mr. and Mrs. Buxaplenty in front of their mansion. They were crying.
"It's a tragedy!" Mr. Buxaplanty said. "My wife and I just went up to his room to say goodnight to him, and he wasn't there!"
"There was a ransom note on his bed." Mrs. Buxaplenty added. She nudged her husband. "Show him, honey." Mr. Buxaplenty nodded and showed them the note. Chet took out the note and cleared his throat.
"The note," He began. "reads: 'Give me all of your money or you'll never see your beloved boy again. Sincerely, Radley."
"And do you know who Radley is?" Chet asked. He offered the mike to the next person who talked, who was Mrs. Buxaplenty.
"No!" She sobbed. "We don't have a clue to who this Radley is. All we know is that he kidnapped our little boy!"
"And we just want him back!" Mr. Buxaplenty cried. "Although I think there was a guy named Radley at our mansion party after our mansion was rebuilt after it mysteriously exploded. We had to kick him out because he wasn't on our list."
"You have it here, folks." Chet said to the TV in the mike. A number appeared on the bottom of the screen. "If you have any idea where Remy Buxaplenty's location is, please call the number below." There showed the Buxaplentys phone number, address, and where they lived. He then smiled. "And now back to my favorite show, 'Where's my Underwear?'!" The TV flipped back to the show. Cosmo and Sparky groaned in disappointment. The man was in the jungle, swinging on a snake, thinking it was a vine, searching for his underwear
"Aw, man!" Cosmo cursed. "Now we have to rewatch it to see how he got into the jungle." He shook his fist. "CURSE YOU CHET UBETCHA!"
"Weird." Timmy observed. "I thought his parents love money more than him. That's why he has Jaundissimo."
"Well, maybe they're just acting." Wanda suggested who just poofed in. "You know, for the press."
"Yeah!" Cosmo piped up. "That's what I do to Wanda's cooking. I act like I like it to spare her feelings." Wanda glared at him. "And I acted again. I acted like I was acting like I liked her cooking, which I do!" Wanda sighed.
Just then, Juandissimo appeared into the room.
"Juandissimo?" Timmy questioned, going over to him. "What are you doing here?" Cosmo flew over to him, mad.
"Are you here to steal my wife again? Well tough luck, because you're not going to!" Jaundissimo burst out crying. "You can cry all you want, but you're still not getting her!" Juandissmo looked at them.
"Have you seen the news?" Jaundissimo asked.
"About Remy's kidnapping?" Timmy guessed. "Yeah, we saw the news."
"And because of it, 'Where's my Underwear?' was interrupted." Cosmo explained. "Was that your plan? To have Remy be kidnapped so the news can interrupt 'Where's my Underwear?' Well good going, because it worked! You really know how to make me mad, Juandissmo."
"Uh, I'm sorry your show got interrupted." Juandissimo said to him. He looked at Timmy again. "But, you got to help me find him!" Timmy was shocked.
"Whoa! Hold up! I'm not helping you find Remy. That guy's a creep; why would I help him?"
"Because you are the only kid that knows Remy really well."
"No I'm not, why not leave this to the adults? They'll find Remy."
"They might be too late. Por favor, help me! Besides, you are the only other one that can see me." Timmy shook his head, hands on hips.
"No way, Jose!"
"Who's Jose?" Cosmo asked. Wanda. Wanda ignored him and flew to his godson.
"I think we should help, sport."
"And why? Oh, because it's the right thing to do, right?" Wanda nodded.
"Right." Timmy sighed.
"Fine, if it means getting out of doing my homework." He then was confused.
"But Wanda, I hate Remy and you and Cosmo hate Juandissimo. Why should we help them?"
"Because it's the right…" Timmy sighed.
"I know, I know. It's the right thing to do, but why, Wanda?"
"Sometimes sport, you need to help out some people who you can't stand. Plus, maybe once you help them, they won't be a jerk to you anymore and you happen to end up liking that person." Timmy sighed a third time.
"Fine, Wanda; we'll help." He looked at Juandissimo. "Okay Juandissimo, we'll help find Remy."
"Oh, thank you, amigo!" Juandissimo said. "Gracias!"
"Don't mention it." He then was confused. "So, what it is with you and Remy anyway? I'm seeing you guys separate. Are you still his godparent or not?" Juandissismo shrugged.
"I come and go." He said.
"Oh, okay, I guess." He then pointed a mean finger at him. "But, let's make a deal first! Once we rescue Remy, you and him won't terrorize us ever again, and you Juandissimo, you will leave Wanda alone. Promise?" Juandissmo held up his hand.
"I promise." He said.
"Now, hold it!" Timmy said. "I don't just need a promise Juandissismo, I need you to swear it!" Wanda gasped.
"Timmy!" Wanda said in shock. She looked at Poof. "Not in front of the baby." Juandissimo held up his hand again.
"Never fear, Wanda." He assured her. He flew to Timmy and held up his pinky. "I pinky swear, mi amigo." Timmy and Juandissimo pinky swore.
"Now, your pinkies are swearing?" Cosmo wanted to know. "Where did you learn these words, Timmy?"
"Okay, now, how are we going to save Remy?" Juandissimo asked. Timmy shook his head.
"But, I pinky swore!"
"That's not good enough! You got to swear on a bible, now I don't have a bible right now, so…" He went to grab his latest Crimson Chin comic. "This will have to do."
"Now you're going to swear to a comic book?" Cosmo asked. "I thought this was a kids' cartoon." Timmy ignored him, and offered his comic book to Juandissimo. Juandissimo held up his hand once more.
"I, Juandissimo Magnifico do by humbly swear that after Remy is safe and sound, Remy and I will not terrorize Timmy and his fairies and fairy dog…"
"And…" Cosmo added.
"And I won't convince Wanda to be my bride and try to take her away from Cosmo ever again." Timmy smiled and took the comic away from Juandissimo.
"Perfect!" He said. He put his comic aside. "Now we're ready." Juandissimo smiled.
"Did you hear the news, Timmy?" Timmy's dad questioned his son, opening the door to his room. His fairies screamed and all poofed into goldfishes in the fish bowl before Mr. Turner saw them. Juandissimo poofed into a purple newt. Timmy's dad looked at him. "Weird, I didn't know you got yourself a purple newt. In fact, I don't remember your mother and I ever giving your permission for keeping all of the pets you have." Timmy put on an innocent face.
"Is that all you wanted to say, Dad?" He asked. His dad shook his head.
"No, did you hear the news?"
"About Remy Buxaplenty being kidnapped?"
"Yeah, and…" He began to cry. "they had to interrupt 'Where's my Underwear?' because of it!" He returned calmed. "Yeah, but the kidnapping part is bad too." He then burst into tears again. But why did they have to interrupt 'Where's my Underwear?' Now I have to rewatch the part to see how he got into the jungle" He went out the door, shutting it behind him, crying. Timmy groaned.
"Oh, boy." He said. He looked at Juandissimo, who turned back into a fairy. His fairies flew to him as well. "Okay Juandissimo, when was the last time you saw Remy?"
"I last saw Remy at their mansion party." Juandissimo replied.
"Then that's where we'll go!" He looked at his fairies. "Guys, poof me into a Sherlock Holmes outfit. We have a mystery to solve." His fairies nodded and poofed him into a trench coat, and a deer stalk cap. He had a pipe in his mouth and in his hand, a magnifying glass. He put the magnifying glass in his pocket. Cosmo gasped.
"You're smoking, too?" He questioned. "As well as swearing?" He burst out crying. "Where have we gone wrong, Wanda!" Timmy sighed.
"I'm not smoking, Cosmo!" Timmy snapped at him. Cosmo cheered up.
"Oh good, because it's a nasty habit." Timmy looked at Juandissimo. "And Juandissimo, you can be Watson." Juandissimo nodded and poofed himself wearing a Bowler hat upon his head.
"Okay, I wish we were in front of the Buxaplenty Mansion!" With a poof by Wanda and Cosmo's wands, they were all transported in front of the Buxaplenty Mansion.
"Okay," Timmy told his fairies and Juandissimo. "Look around, see if there's any clues that'll help us."
"Right!" Both Cosmo and Wanda said and they and Poof flew off. Sparky followed them, sniffing the grass. Timmy went off as well with Juandissimo.
Timmy looked up when a croquet ball rolled his way. He looked up and saw Mr. Buxaplenty coming his way with a mallet. Juandissimo turned into a purple squirrel. Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof hopped to him as bunnies. Sparky went to him too.
"Hey, aren't you one of Remy's friends?" He asked. Timmy wanted to say that Remy was hardly his friend, but he decided not to.
"I know Remy." He just said.
"Did you hear the news?"
"Yeah."
"Pretty depressing, huh? Mrs. Buxaplenty and I were going to go to Italy for a month, when this came up so we had to put it on hold."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"Yeah, I am too. I wanted to go to Italy for so long." He looked at Timmy. "So, why are you here?"
"I'm here to help look for your son." He then was confused. "Whether you want him or not." Mr. Buxaplenty was confused.
"What do you mean? Of course we want him back. What makes you think otherwise?"
"Well, I thought you love your money more. That's why he has a fa…"
"Has a what?"
"Nothing."
"Well anyways, of course his mother and I love him; we're his parents! What kind of cruel, heartless people do you think we are, loving our money over our son? Ridiculous!" Timmy smiled and laughed nervously.
"Yeah, ridiculous is right. I don't know what I was thinking." He changed the subject. "So, anyways, I'm going to help you find him." Mr. Buxaplenty sighed.
"Well, he's not here. He's been kidnapped."
"I know he's been kidnapped. But you may still be of help." Mr. Buxaplenty was confused.
"How?" He wanted to know.
"The man who kidnapped your son was named Radley, correct?"
"Correct."
"And you said there was a Radley at your mansion party, right?"
"I said I think there was a Radley."
"Still! It could be the same Radley."
"How do you know?"
"Well I don't, but it's something. Now, I'll be right back." Timmy whispered to the bunnies. "Guys; can you follow me to the bush? I need to make a wish." The bunnies nodded and hopped after the boy.
A minute later, Timmy came back out of the bush with a notepad and a pencil. He walked back towards Mr. Buxplenty. Cosmo and Wanda hopped after him. Remy's father was confused.
"Where'd you get that pad and pencil?" He questioned. Timmy opened up the notepad.
"That's not important." He told him. "Now, this Radley person, do you know what he looked like?" Mr. Buxaplenty was about to give a response when someone interrupted.
"Honey?" They looked and saw that it was Mrs. Buxaplenty. She went over to her husband. "What's Remy's buck-tooth friend doing here?
I'm not Remy's friend, Timmy wanted to say, but decided against it, plus her husband spoke up.
"He's here to help locate Remy." He explained to her. His wife looked at Timmy and smiled.
"Well, that's nice I guess." She stated. "But, how are you going to help? We don't even know who this Radley guy is."
"Your husband said that he was at that mansion party you guys had."
"I said I think there was a Radley." Mr. Buxaplenty reminded him.
"Whatever; if this is our Radley, I need a description of him, as much as possible."
"How do you know he's the Radley that stole our Remy?" Mrs. Buxaplenty asked.
"I don't. But, if he is, I'd like to have his description. So. What does he look like?" Mr. and Mrs. Buxaplenty looked at each other.
"I think he had black hair." Mrs. Buxaplenty said. Timmy wrote this down.
"And a black mustache." Mr. Buxaplenty added. Timmy wrote this down as well. "And he's skinny. Very skinny." Wanda looked at Timmy's pad. Instead of 'skinny', he wrote skinney, and instead of 'heir', he wrote hare.
"Wrong type of 'heir', kiddo." She whispered to him. "That's the kind of hare we are. And 'skinney' isn't spelled right ether."
"You know I'm a bad speller." Timmy whispered back. "But it doesn't matter. As long as I know what it says, that's good enough." Timmy looked at Remy's parents.
"That all?" He wanted to know. His parents then nodded.
"Yeah." Remy's father said. "That's all."
"Do you know where he lives?" Remy's parents frowned and shook their heads.
"He did say that he was living in my five-star hotel." Mrs. Buxaplenty explained. "The Richie-Rich Hotel, where the motto is 'You can only stay here if you are rich.'" Timmy smiled.
"Great! Can you tell me the location?" Mrs. Buxaplenty nodded and told him where it was as Timmy wrote it down the best he could. He looked at them again.
"That's all?"
"Yup!" Mr. Buxaplenty said with a nod. "That's all. That's the last of it, nothing else." Timmy closed his notepad and put it in his pocket.
"Do you need a ride?" Mrs. Buxaplenty asked. "Because it's quite a long ways." Timmy shook his head.
"Nah; I'm good." He replied. Mrs. Buxaplenty was puzzled.
"Really? Because, it's no trouble. I can get my car and…" Timmy shook his head again.
"I thank you for your kindness, but really, I can handle it." Mrs. Buxaplenty still looked confused, but smiled.
"Well, if you're sure."
"Well, bye!" Timmy waved goodbye and left. Juandissimo and his other fairies followed him.
"Oh, and kid!" Mr. Buxaplenty called. Timmy turned to them.
"Yeah?"
"If you find our son, we'll have another party and you and your parents are invited!" Timmy smiled.
"Really?!"
"Yeah, now go and bring our son home!"
"Oh, I'll try!" He continued on his way. The Buxaplentys waved to him until he was out of sight. Mr. Buxaplenty turned to his wife who was confused.
"Did you see that purple squirrel in that bowler hat?" She wanted to know. "That was weird." Mr. Buxaplenty shrugged.
"Well not as weird as our son owning a purple newt."
"I guess."
"Now, let's continue with our croquet game, shell we?" Mrs. Buxaplenty smiled.
"You know I'll win."
"Oh, I don't think so, babe!" And with that, the parents went back to their game.
"Guys, I wish we were at Mrs. Buxaplenty's hotel!"
"But, didn't you say you'll get there on your own?" Cosmo wanted to know. Timmy looked irritated.
"Hello!" He began. "I can't get there all on my own! You heard what Mrs. Buxaplenty said; it'll take forever to get there!"
"Then why didn't you just let her drive you there?" Wanda asked.
"Hello! I have you guys. I can wish to be there. Besides, I won't want to disappoint his mother when he's not there." Wanda sighed.
"I guess. You know, you really use us for your advantage." Timmy smiled.
"Yup!" He took out his notepad and opened it. "Now, I wish I was here." With a poof from their wands, they were gone.
"Wow!" Timmy said in amazement when they were in front of the hotel. The hotel was big and was gold colored. A garden with a fountain squirting out water was in front of it. A plaque of the motto was on the side- wall. "Mrs. Buxaplenty was right! You have to be rich to stay here!"
"Not to mention it's on the plaque!" Cosmo added, gesturing towards the plaque.
"This guy must be rich to afford to stay here. This must be the most expensive hotel in all of Dimmsdale.
"Or all of California." Wanda added. Cosmo was puzzled.
"Wait." He said. "We're in California?! I thought you live in Dimmsdale, Timmy."
"Okay," Timmy said, ignoring his godfather. "I'm going in." He looked at Cosmo and Wanda. "Can you two pose as my parents in case anybody gets suspicious to why a kid is in the hotel?" Cosmo and Wanda nodded and poofed into human adult versions of themselves.
"And I'll poof as your brother!" Poof added, poofing into a human child.
"And I'll be your foreign friend." Juandissmo said, poofing into a human Latino child as well.
"And I'll poof into a dog!" Sparky added. Timmy just looked at him.
"Uh, Sparky." Timmy started. "You are a dog!"
"Yeah, but I'm a fairy dog! I'll just poof into a regular dog."
"Sparky, I don't think dogs are allowed inside. You better stay out here." Sparky whimpered.
"Oh, come on! I bet all the toilets are made from gold! Please; I just have to go and see!"
"Sorry; just stay out here."
"Awwww!"
"I'll be back once we have Remy."
"Okay; but don't be long."
"I promise." And with that, they went towards the hotel as Sparky stayed behind.
"Excuse me sir." Timmy said to the employee at the front desk which was huge compared to him. He felt like an ant. "Is there a Radley staying here?"
"I'm sorry," The employee answered in a French accent. "But there's no one by that name here." Timmy was disappointed. "Aw, are you sure?" He saw his computer. "Check your computer." The employee looked at his computer, then back at Timmy.
"No." He replied.
"But, you just glanced at it." He narrowed his eyes at him. "You can't be done already. There's got to be a million rooms in here. Go on, check again." The employee checked the computer again and scanned it quickly. He looked back at Timmy.
"Sorry." He said. Timmy was now mad.
"Well, your computer must be busted! She said he was staying here."
"Maybe she, whomever this person is, was mistaken."
"But…but…"
"Look, I'm sorry. I can't help you anymore." Timmy sighed in disappointment.
"I understand." He left the front desk. "I don't understand. Mrs. Buxaplenty said he was here. Why would she lie?"
"Maybe she didn't." Wanda told him. "Maybe he just told her that because he didn't want her to know where he really was staying."
"Where?" Wanda shrugged.
"Could be anywhere."
"Well, this stinks! Where are we going to find him?" Wanda shrugged again.
Suddenly, they heard screaming. All of them looked to see a bunch of ladies running out of the bathroom. A dog following them, barking, but not just any dog; it was Sparky! The employee looked at Timmy and his fairies, mad, and hands on hips. Timmy and the disguised fairies grinned innocently.
"I'm sorry." Sparky apologized when they got kicked out of the hotel. "But you know I am a dog; I just had to see if there were any gold colored toilets in there."
"Were there?" Cosmo asked. Sparky looked disappointed.
"No. I was going to check the men's' before we got kicked out."
"We're sunk now amigos," Jaundissimo said. "Now what?"
"I guess we're going to have to get lucky." Timmy answered. "Because I have no other ideas." Just then a squirrel scurried in their path. Sparky got excited.
"SQUIRREL!" He shouted and chased after it, barking excitedly.
"SPARKY; WAIT!" Timmy and the fairies shouted after him. They chased after him.
They chased Sparky and the squirrel into an alleyway with a dumpster and a box in the corner.
"Bad dog, Sparky!" Timmy scolded. "Where have you led us?" Sparky came back to Timmy, looking disappointed.
"Well, the squirrel got away." He said.
"Let's get out of this place." Timmy said, looking around the dismal looking alleyway. He shivered. "This place gives me the creeps!"
They then heard a faint crying. They looked around, trying to see where the crying was coming from.
"Uh, Timmy?" Sparky piped up. He pointed his nose to the box. "I think the box is crying." Timmy and his fairies went to the box and looked inside. They gasped. It was Remy Buxaplenty!