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"Anakin! Wake up!"
"Huh? What? Oh. Sorry Master. I, uh, didn't quite catch what you said."
"Anakin, you're daydreaming. Again. You need to focus. Now try again."
"Alright." He knew arguing with Obi-Wan would be useless. But the truth was, Anakin found it impossible to focus. Whenever he tried, his mind started drifting-and the more he tried to focus, the harder it got. Finally he just sort of gave in.
I wonder…
"Anakin!"
"Huh? Oh. Yea?"
Obi-Wan sighed. "That's enough for today. But I hope to see improvement tomorrow. When you are with Master Yoda."
Oh. Man. I am so dead.
He and Obi-Wan left the small, quiet meditation room and walked down the halls to Anakin's quarters. The time was 10:00, time for Anakin to get some sleep. Once inside and alone, Anakin really started to freak out.
IamsodeadIamsodeadIamsodead… Eventually the words in his head slowed down and made sense. He was able to fight it now. I am so dead. No, no you're not. I am so dead. Yoda knows there's such a thing as mercy. I am so dead. He's not going to kill you. I am so dead. However, the negative thoughts kept coming and coming and coming. Anakin was forced to take action. As soon as he got into bed, he began searching for that one thought that he knew would bring peace. Soon it came to him.
You are drifting high above the towers of Coruscant. As you drift, a single, white, puffy cloud envelopes you and carries you higher and higher, above the planet and into space, where it's quiet and peaceful. Yet this cloud stays with you. This cloud is very soft, and you are very relaxed, letting yourself relax more and more. Now you are underwater, yet the cloud is still with you, and as you relax more and more, you sink deeper and deeper, and as you sink deeper and deeper, you relax more and more, and the deeper you sink, the better you feel, and the better you feel, the more you relax, and you just feel so good, so nice, you sink deeper and deeper, the cloud becomes softer and softer, and the softer the cloud gets, the more you relax, and the deeper you go, the softer the cloud gets, until you are in a state of pure relaxation and comfort…He had always used this kind of thought as an escape portal. It banished his fears for a short time and left him feeling refreshed. Much better than the panic he had been stuck in before.
He called it a trance.
Soon he had fallen asleep.
)O0o0O(
It was the morning of the next day. Anakin was ready to take on this new challenge. He had to be.
"Come on, Anakin! Your meeting with Master Yoda is in fifteen minutes!"
"Alright, Obi-Wan. I'm getting up already. Sheesh." Anakin quickly got dressed and walked out the door - straight into Obi-Wan!
"Anakin!"
"Sorry!"
Obi-Wan sighed. "Come on, Anakin. We should be there a little early."
"Alright." He sighed in resignation to his fate, finally realizing this was the end of his term as a Jedi. He was a failure at the Force. Maybe he wouldn't be a failure at some other thing, and he would be able to earn a living.
"Anakin, relax. This isn't a death sentence or an expellment. You need to calm down."
"I'm calm already." He sighed.
"If you say so…"
They were almost there. He could already hear Yoda's edict echoing in his ears. Worthy to become a Jedi, you are not. Leave, you must.
"Anakin! What did I say about calming down?"
"Obi-Wan, I am calm! I told you already!" Honestly, he felt like crying.
"We're here."
Oh, no.
Obi-Wan knocked quietly. The door opened quietly.
"Come in, come in."
The room was much like the meditation rooms that Anakin often practiced in. Practicing meaning were four small chair-like platforms with cushions for sitting and meditating on. Anakin had always found them delightfully squishy. That calmed him down a bit. Obi-Wan sat on one side of him, Yoda on the other.
"Meditation, the problem is?"
"Yes. He will not focus-especially when I ask him to."
"Different ways for all, there are. Be patient, you must."
"I've been very patient. He will-Anakin, what are you doing?"
He blushed. "Oh. Umm… I was just… calming myself down." He felt his cheeks grow hot.
"By stuffing your face into a cushion."
"Yea. It works. Pretty well, actually."
"Leave him be. Alarm him, we must not. Pressure him, we must not, if he is to be successful." Obi-Wan looked he wanted to leave right then. Anakin stuffed his face back into the cushion.
"Begin, we shall."
"I'll just watch. My way will probably interfere with yours. And Anakin, you'll need to be sitting up."
"Awww!"
Obi-Wan said no more. Yoda began to observe the boy closely with his huge yellow eyes. Anakin shifted under his gaze. Maybe he shouldn't have buried his face in the cushions…
"Calm, you must have, to feel the Force. Peace." Yoda's words calmed Anakin a little, strangely. "Close your eyes." Anakin obeyed, and the strangest feeling came over him. A feeling that everything would be alright. "Peace, peace. Good. Progressing, you are. Your mind, you must relax. Let go of emotions. Let the Force guide your thoughts." Yoda was right. He did feel a sort of tugging at his thoughts, a whisper that drew him in. But his thoughts wanted to drift. So he let them. Then the strangest thing happened. His thoughts went toward the murmur, and as they got closer, the beckoning voice became clearer.
Relax. Come to me. The voice seemed to have a body, warm arms that encircled him. His mind drifted towards the voice, stepping into its soft embrace. As he did so, a set of thoughts drifted into his mind…
You are lying in a meadow, next to a brook that runs lazily, listening to the bird song. As you lie there, soaking up warmth, you start to float. However, you do not feel light. You feel heavy. You float up and up, into the clouds. The heavier you feel, the higher you float, until you come up to a lone cloud. This cloud is silver. It wraps around you, revealing its true purpose. This cloud turns out to be made of pure relaxation, and it seems you are soaking it up, becoming more and more relaxed, and as you relax more and more, you feel heavier and heavier. Now, you are in a lake, sinking downwards, and the farther you sink, the more relaxed you are, and the more relaxed you are, the heavier you feel, and the heavier you feel, the deeper you sink, and the deeper you sink the happier you feel. This continues, letting you sink deeper and deeper into the lake, until you touch the bottom and become so very relaxed and so very happy. And you feel so good, you just want to stay there, and just relax even more…
Yoda's voice came back into focus. "Hmmm...Good, good. Now, in your mind, your eyes, feelings, reach out with." He did so and…
It was impossible to describe. Like a galaxy full of stars, full of lines and shapes and drawings and everything. He could see things, all kinds of things, things that danced, things that moved. It was…the most amazing thing he had ever seen. In his mind, he turned slowly, to take it all in. And he saw two transparent beings, seemingly full of light and yet unnoticeable, near him.
Well done.
He realized that the strange figures were speaking to him through thought. It was strange, though he was kind of at his limit of amazement. And it wasn't surprising, really.
Where…where am I?
The Force, Anakin. The basis of every Jedi's dream.
Random thought. Like sleepy dream or I-want-that dream?
Anakin… He could hear Obi-Wan's internal groan.
Let him be. Ask and explore, you must, if grow you want to. Anakin recognized Yoda's calm, gravelly, strangely soothing voice.
It's…different than I expected.
What did you expect?
Well, something like a sort of tickly sensation all over, with subtle differences telling you what's going on, and you'd have to learn to read it. At that moment, the whole thing collapsed and Anakin got that same ticklish feeling he had just been describing. Wait! No! I want to go back! He felt panic rising up in him, sure that he would snap out of the meditative state at any moment. Forcing himself to stay calm, he thought, I want to go back to the drawing board. The galaxy came back, and he felt relief flooding him.
Hmm…that's interesting.
What's interesting? Anakin was just a little confused.
Never mind. Obi-Wan paused. You did well.
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