AUTHOR'S NOTE: OKAY, I'M TRYING THIS FOR FUN; I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE IT MIGHT GO! I CHOSE THE 50S MAINLY BECAUSE OF THE RED SCARE, AS YOU WILL SEE. I ALSO THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY THAT DAVE TAUGHT IT! IF I GET POSITIVE FEEDBACK, I'LL CONTINUE INTO THE 60S.
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ER OR MOST OF THE OTHER BRANDS BROUGHT UP IN THIS FIC. NOR IS IT MEANT TO INSULT ANYONE. I JUST WROTE IT FOR FUN. ENJOY!
OTHER: I'D LIKE TO THANK THE REAL DR. DAVE (KLEIN) FOR SHARING HIS LOVE OF HISTORY AND WEALTH OF KNOWLEDGE WITH ME SO I COULD WRITE THIS FIC. THANK-YOU SO MUCH! ALSO, I'D LIKE TO THANK WHOEVER BOUGHT PETER JENNINGS' "THE CENTURY" FOR ME. WITHOUT IT, I'D BE LOST! THANK-YOU TO ALL THE WONDERFUL WEB SITE OWNERS WHO POST THIS FIC, AND THANK-YOU TO ALL MY GRACIOUS READERS, I WRITE FOR YOU!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DR DAVE'S HISTORY
101
TODAY'S LESSON: THE 50S.
[KERRY] WHY DO WE HAVE TO TAKE A HISTORY CLASS, CONSIDERING WE'RE ALL DOCTORS?
[LUCY] AND MED-STUDENTS!
[ABBY] AND NURSES!
[KERRY] WHATEVER!
[CLEO] SO, WHO'S THE SPEAKER?
[PETER] DR. DAVE KLEIN. APPARENTLY, HE'S REALLY FAMOUS!
[CLEO] OH, OKAY.
[CARTER] YOU KNOW, MED-STUDENTS MIGHT NEED TO BE TAKING THIS COURSE FOR CREDIT.
[LUCY] NO.
[CARTER] OH, OKAY.
[DAVE] SORRY I'M LATE!
[EVERYONE ELSE] DAVE!
[DAVE] YEAH?
[LUKA] WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
[DAVE] I'M TEACHING THIS COURSE.
[LUKA] BUT YOU'RE A DOCTOR.
[DAVE] NO, ACTUALLY, I'M A TEACHER.
[KERRY] OKAY, THEN WE CAN FILL YOUR SPOT.
[DAVE] JUST FOR TODAY.
[KERRY] OKAY.
[ROMANO (WALKING IN)] MALATUSQUEZIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
[KERRY] ROBERT, WE JUST WENT OVER THIS.
[ROMANO] BUT I WASN'T HERE.
[KERRY] HE'S TEACHING THE CLASS.
[ROMANO] NO! HE'LL PROBABLY MAKE US ACT THIS OUT OR SOMETHING!
[DAVE] OKAY, GOOD IDEA!
[ROMANO] I HAD TO OPEN MY BIG MOUTH!
[DAVE] YEAH, IT'S DESTINY.
[MARK] I DON'T BELIEVE IN DESTINY.
[DAVE] YOUR LOSS.
***WE LIKE IKE!***
[ABBY (DRESSED IN 50S HOUSEWIFE CLOTHES)] I LIKE IKE!
[CARTER] I LIKE IKE BUTTONS! GET YOUR I LIKE I BUTTONS HERE!
[DEB] OHHH! THERE HE IS!
[ROMANO (DRESSED AS GENERAL EISENHOWER)] HELLO! OH HI! NICE TO YOU AGAIN! OH, YES IT WAS DIFFICULT TO LEAD THE ENTIRE US ARMY.
[DAVE] IT'S THE EARLY 50S AND GENERAL DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER IS RETURNING FROM WAR.
[CARTER] I THINK THAT WAS IN THE LATE 40S.
[DAVE] I HAVE TO FILL SPACE, SO SUE ME. OH, BY THE WAY. YO IKE.
[ROMANO] WHAT?
[DAVE] WHAT DOES THE "D" STAND FOR?
[ROMANO] HOW SHOULD I KNOW? I FAILED HISTORY!
[DAVE] OY, NOW HE TELLS ME!
***THE RED SCARE***
[DAVE] A VERY PRESSING MATTER IN THE 20S THEN AGAIN IN THE 50S, WAS THE MATTER OF COMMUNISM.
[PETER] OH, LOOK A COMMIE! LET'S BLACK LIST 'EM!
[LUKA] AGH! NO! I'M NOT A COMMIE! I BELIEVE WHOLE-HEARTEDLY IN THE AMERICAN SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT!
[CLEO] OKAY, SO WHAT IS IT?
[LUKA] WHAT?
[CLEO] THE AMERICAN SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT. WHAT TYPE IS IT?
[LUKA (HOPEFULLY)] UM, SOCIALIST?
[PETER] NO!
[ABBY] BLACK LIST HIM!
[LUKA] ABBY?
[CARTER] DEPORT HIM!
[LUKA] NO! SEE, I'M FROM CROATIA!
[DEB] WHERE'S THAT?
[LUKA] CROATIA. YOU KNOW, IN THE MEDITERRANEAN.
[KERRY] YUGOSLAVIA! TAR AND FEATHER HIM!
[LUKA (RUNNING)] NO! SAVE ME!
[DAVE] HEE, HEE. THAT OUGHT TO LAST FOR A WHILE.
***THE NUCLEAR SCARE***
[DAVE] AFTER THE CREATION OF THE NUCLEAR BOMB AND ITS DETONATION ON JAPAN, AMERICANS WERE VERY SCARED OF A NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST.
[MARK] AGH! SAVE US! THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!
[ELIZABETH] RUN WHILE YOU CAN, CHICKEN LITTLE.
[MARK] WHAT?
[ELIZABETH] YOU KNOW, CHICKEN LITTLE, THE CHICKEN WHO THOUGHT THE WORLD WAS COMING TO AN END.
[MARK] OH, OF COURSE.
[ELIZABETH] CARRY ON.
[MARK] THANK-YOU.
[ELIZABETH] YOU'RE WELCOME.
[MARK] OH NO! THE WORLD IS GOING TO END! SAVE US!
***ELVIS!***
[DAVE] MY BIG MOMENT!
[DEB] GIRLS, THE CONCERT IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!
[KERRY, LUCY, CLEO, ABBY] YESSSSSSS!
[DAVE (SINGING)] THAT'S ONE FOR THE MONEY, TWO FOR THE SHOW, AND THREE TO GO!
[ABBY] HE'S SOOOO HOT!
[DEB (FAINTING)] AHHHH!
[DAVE] OH, I'M NOTHING BUT A…HOUND DOG!
[CLEO] I LOVE YOU ELVIS!
[DAVE] OH YEAH!
[CARTER] WHOA, HOLD ON. THAT NEVER HAPPENED!
[DAVE] DID TOO!
[CARTER] WELL, OF COURSE THE HAPPENED, BUT NOT TO YOU.
[DAVE] TRUE… (TO BAND) COME ON, GUYS. DR. EINSTEIN HERE SAYS WE HAVE TO GO.
[MARK (WITH A FRIZZY WIG)] HE'S NOT EINSTEIN, I AM!
[DAVE] HOLD ON MARK, YOU COME IN NEXT.
[MARK] WHEN? THIS WIG ITCHES.
[DAVE] NOW.
***EINSTEIN***
[DAVE] THERE YOU GO.
[MARK] FINALLY!
[DAVE] AND NOW YOUR 15 MINUETS OF FAME ARE UP.
[MARK] 'K. NOW I CAN TAKE THIS WIG OFF.
***THE RED SCARE (AGAIN)***
[LUKA] SAVE ME!
[MOB] KILL THE EVIL RUSKIE!
[PETER] THIS IS SO AMUSING!
[LUKA (POINTING)] THERE'S THE EVIL ONE!
[DARTH VADER] LUKA, I'M YOU'RE FATHER!
[DAVE] STAR WARS DOESN'T COME 'TIL THE 70S. GO AWAY.
[DARTH VADER] JESH! KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON.
***TV***
[ABBY] THIS BLACK AND WHITE TV IS SO BORNING ISN'T IT?
[CLEO] YEAH. LET'S GET SOME COLOR.
[DAVE] COLOR DOESN'T COME 'TIL THE 60S.
[CLEO] SO?
[ABBY] YEAH. LET'S GO GIVE SOMEONE THE *INSPIRATION*
[CLEO] OKAY.
[ABBY] YOU KNOW, YOU AREN'T SO BAD.
[CLEO] THANKS.
[DAVE] CAME BACK!
[DARTH VADER] YOU CALLED?
[DAVE] NO!!!!
[DARTH VADER] SON, WHY IS THAT MAN HITTING HIS HEAD ON THE WALL? MAYBE HE SHOULD USE MY HELMET.
[LUKA] I DON'T KNOW. AND I'M NOT YOUR SON!
***SPUTNIK***
[MARK] OH, WHAT'S THAT?
[LUKA] OH, A SATALITE!
[ELIZABETH] IT'S SO PRETTY!
[ABBY] BIG WHOOP. CLEO AND I HAVE COLOR TV!
[CLEO] YEAH. LETS WATCH ER!
[EVERYONE] YEAH!
(ER THEME MUSIC IS HEARD)
[DAVE] WELL, I GUESS THAT'S ALL. SEE ALL OF YOU LATER!
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ER OR MOST OF THE OTHER BRANDS BROUGHT UP IN THIS FIC. NOR IS IT MEANT TO INSULT ANYONE. I JUST WROTE IT FOR FUN. ENJOY!
OTHER: I'D LIKE TO THANK THE REAL DR. DAVE (KLEIN) FOR SHARING HIS LOVE OF HISTORY AND WEALTH OF KNOWLEDGE WITH ME SO I COULD WRITE THIS FIC. THANK-YOU SO MUCH! ALSO, I'D LIKE TO THANK WHOEVER BOUGHT PETER JENNINGS' "THE CENTURY" FOR ME. WITHOUT IT, I'D BE LOST! THANK-YOU TO ALL THE WONDERFUL WEB SITE OWNERS WHO POST THIS FIC, AND THANK-YOU TO ALL MY GRACIOUS READERS, I WRITE FOR YOU!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DR DAVE'S HISTORY
101
TODAY'S LESSON: THE 50S.
[KERRY] WHY DO WE HAVE TO TAKE A HISTORY CLASS, CONSIDERING WE'RE ALL DOCTORS?
[LUCY] AND MED-STUDENTS!
[ABBY] AND NURSES!
[KERRY] WHATEVER!
[CLEO] SO, WHO'S THE SPEAKER?
[PETER] DR. DAVE KLEIN. APPARENTLY, HE'S REALLY FAMOUS!
[CLEO] OH, OKAY.
[CARTER] YOU KNOW, MED-STUDENTS MIGHT NEED TO BE TAKING THIS COURSE FOR CREDIT.
[LUCY] NO.
[CARTER] OH, OKAY.
[DAVE] SORRY I'M LATE!
[EVERYONE ELSE] DAVE!
[DAVE] YEAH?
[LUKA] WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
[DAVE] I'M TEACHING THIS COURSE.
[LUKA] BUT YOU'RE A DOCTOR.
[DAVE] NO, ACTUALLY, I'M A TEACHER.
[KERRY] OKAY, THEN WE CAN FILL YOUR SPOT.
[DAVE] JUST FOR TODAY.
[KERRY] OKAY.
[ROMANO (WALKING IN)] MALATUSQUEZIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
[KERRY] ROBERT, WE JUST WENT OVER THIS.
[ROMANO] BUT I WASN'T HERE.
[KERRY] HE'S TEACHING THE CLASS.
[ROMANO] NO! HE'LL PROBABLY MAKE US ACT THIS OUT OR SOMETHING!
[DAVE] OKAY, GOOD IDEA!
[ROMANO] I HAD TO OPEN MY BIG MOUTH!
[DAVE] YEAH, IT'S DESTINY.
[MARK] I DON'T BELIEVE IN DESTINY.
[DAVE] YOUR LOSS.
***WE LIKE IKE!***
[ABBY (DRESSED IN 50S HOUSEWIFE CLOTHES)] I LIKE IKE!
[CARTER] I LIKE IKE BUTTONS! GET YOUR I LIKE I BUTTONS HERE!
[DEB] OHHH! THERE HE IS!
[ROMANO (DRESSED AS GENERAL EISENHOWER)] HELLO! OH HI! NICE TO YOU AGAIN! OH, YES IT WAS DIFFICULT TO LEAD THE ENTIRE US ARMY.
[DAVE] IT'S THE EARLY 50S AND GENERAL DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER IS RETURNING FROM WAR.
[CARTER] I THINK THAT WAS IN THE LATE 40S.
[DAVE] I HAVE TO FILL SPACE, SO SUE ME. OH, BY THE WAY. YO IKE.
[ROMANO] WHAT?
[DAVE] WHAT DOES THE "D" STAND FOR?
[ROMANO] HOW SHOULD I KNOW? I FAILED HISTORY!
[DAVE] OY, NOW HE TELLS ME!
***THE RED SCARE***
[DAVE] A VERY PRESSING MATTER IN THE 20S THEN AGAIN IN THE 50S, WAS THE MATTER OF COMMUNISM.
[PETER] OH, LOOK A COMMIE! LET'S BLACK LIST 'EM!
[LUKA] AGH! NO! I'M NOT A COMMIE! I BELIEVE WHOLE-HEARTEDLY IN THE AMERICAN SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT!
[CLEO] OKAY, SO WHAT IS IT?
[LUKA] WHAT?
[CLEO] THE AMERICAN SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT. WHAT TYPE IS IT?
[LUKA (HOPEFULLY)] UM, SOCIALIST?
[PETER] NO!
[ABBY] BLACK LIST HIM!
[LUKA] ABBY?
[CARTER] DEPORT HIM!
[LUKA] NO! SEE, I'M FROM CROATIA!
[DEB] WHERE'S THAT?
[LUKA] CROATIA. YOU KNOW, IN THE MEDITERRANEAN.
[KERRY] YUGOSLAVIA! TAR AND FEATHER HIM!
[LUKA (RUNNING)] NO! SAVE ME!
[DAVE] HEE, HEE. THAT OUGHT TO LAST FOR A WHILE.
***THE NUCLEAR SCARE***
[DAVE] AFTER THE CREATION OF THE NUCLEAR BOMB AND ITS DETONATION ON JAPAN, AMERICANS WERE VERY SCARED OF A NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST.
[MARK] AGH! SAVE US! THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!
[ELIZABETH] RUN WHILE YOU CAN, CHICKEN LITTLE.
[MARK] WHAT?
[ELIZABETH] YOU KNOW, CHICKEN LITTLE, THE CHICKEN WHO THOUGHT THE WORLD WAS COMING TO AN END.
[MARK] OH, OF COURSE.
[ELIZABETH] CARRY ON.
[MARK] THANK-YOU.
[ELIZABETH] YOU'RE WELCOME.
[MARK] OH NO! THE WORLD IS GOING TO END! SAVE US!
***ELVIS!***
[DAVE] MY BIG MOMENT!
[DEB] GIRLS, THE CONCERT IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!
[KERRY, LUCY, CLEO, ABBY] YESSSSSSS!
[DAVE (SINGING)] THAT'S ONE FOR THE MONEY, TWO FOR THE SHOW, AND THREE TO GO!
[ABBY] HE'S SOOOO HOT!
[DEB (FAINTING)] AHHHH!
[DAVE] OH, I'M NOTHING BUT A…HOUND DOG!
[CLEO] I LOVE YOU ELVIS!
[DAVE] OH YEAH!
[CARTER] WHOA, HOLD ON. THAT NEVER HAPPENED!
[DAVE] DID TOO!
[CARTER] WELL, OF COURSE THE HAPPENED, BUT NOT TO YOU.
[DAVE] TRUE… (TO BAND) COME ON, GUYS. DR. EINSTEIN HERE SAYS WE HAVE TO GO.
[MARK (WITH A FRIZZY WIG)] HE'S NOT EINSTEIN, I AM!
[DAVE] HOLD ON MARK, YOU COME IN NEXT.
[MARK] WHEN? THIS WIG ITCHES.
[DAVE] NOW.
***EINSTEIN***
[DAVE] THERE YOU GO.
[MARK] FINALLY!
[DAVE] AND NOW YOUR 15 MINUETS OF FAME ARE UP.
[MARK] 'K. NOW I CAN TAKE THIS WIG OFF.
***THE RED SCARE (AGAIN)***
[LUKA] SAVE ME!
[MOB] KILL THE EVIL RUSKIE!
[PETER] THIS IS SO AMUSING!
[LUKA (POINTING)] THERE'S THE EVIL ONE!
[DARTH VADER] LUKA, I'M YOU'RE FATHER!
[DAVE] STAR WARS DOESN'T COME 'TIL THE 70S. GO AWAY.
[DARTH VADER] JESH! KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON.
***TV***
[ABBY] THIS BLACK AND WHITE TV IS SO BORNING ISN'T IT?
[CLEO] YEAH. LET'S GET SOME COLOR.
[DAVE] COLOR DOESN'T COME 'TIL THE 60S.
[CLEO] SO?
[ABBY] YEAH. LET'S GO GIVE SOMEONE THE *INSPIRATION*
[CLEO] OKAY.
[ABBY] YOU KNOW, YOU AREN'T SO BAD.
[CLEO] THANKS.
[DAVE] CAME BACK!
[DARTH VADER] YOU CALLED?
[DAVE] NO!!!!
[DARTH VADER] SON, WHY IS THAT MAN HITTING HIS HEAD ON THE WALL? MAYBE HE SHOULD USE MY HELMET.
[LUKA] I DON'T KNOW. AND I'M NOT YOUR SON!
***SPUTNIK***
[MARK] OH, WHAT'S THAT?
[LUKA] OH, A SATALITE!
[ELIZABETH] IT'S SO PRETTY!
[ABBY] BIG WHOOP. CLEO AND I HAVE COLOR TV!
[CLEO] YEAH. LETS WATCH ER!
[EVERYONE] YEAH!
(ER THEME MUSIC IS HEARD)
[DAVE] WELL, I GUESS THAT'S ALL. SEE ALL OF YOU LATER!