Animal I Have Become

by Internet Luv Masheen

Faggoty emo songfic. Daisuke goes all emo 'cuz Dark gets faphappy. Pretty sick.

Animal I Have Become

By SoulfulZen

Summary: This came from a rough image I had in my mind while listening to this song. I'll tell you no more, except for it's M for rape, yaoi, necrophilia, cannibalism, language, violence, non-sexual masochism, and themes of suicide. I hate rape and everything to do with it, and any man who rapes deserves to have his penis chopped off and prepared for him to eat. Any woman who does such, well… I dare not enter that realm. Somehow, although equally appropriate and disturbing, it's more disgusting. The only relationships are Daisuke/Riku and minor, somewhat-fluffy, mostly friendship-oriented Daisuke/Satoshi Oh yeah, before this starts, I'll just say that Daisuke's family is in Osaka for his dad's family reunion, and his mom is making him stay home in case another peace of Hikari artwork pops up.

"Dark, you sick fuck!" Daisuke shouted at his alternate self. Apparently Dark was losing his mind with testosterone and needed to get off. He was asking to take Daisuke's form and jerk off. Fuck no! It was HIS, not Dark's. Even if dark took his own form, Daisuke would still have to watch.

"Come ON! I'm not a pathetic virgin like you! I need to at least jack off!"

"Fuck you! It's still my body, meaning my dick, meaning you aren't using it to get your sick pleasure!" Daisuke felt Dark sulking in the back of his mind, and rolled his eyes, irritated by Dark's whininess.

In the back of Daisuke's head, Dark began plotting how he'd get his sex. He eventually formed a plan to use the body while he was asleep, and get back before he woke up. He'd try it in a day or two.

Eventually, through great discipline, Dark waited three days before trying his idea. It was after midnight when Daisuke's soul was as asleep as the body. Dark quietly carried it to the back of Daisuke's mind, and took the helm of the body, slipping quietly out the window…

The next morning, Daisuke felt strange. Something was off, something about his body. He had a strange sensation, almost like that time that Takeshi had slipped him Vodka. "DARK!" he shouted into his mind.

The phantom thief's visual image plopped down on the side of Daisuke's bed. "What," he spat impatiently.

"What in the name of fuck did you put into my body last night?"

"I went out for a few beers! So fucking what!"

"Hello! It may be your mouth and your hangover, but you're killing MY LIVER here!"

"Well, hey, I wouldn't have to if you'd just let me get some!"

"FUCK NO! I'd rather a fucked-up liver than getting YOUR STD from some skank-ho-bitch that you knocked up and wants fucking child support or something!"

"Well then stop bitching! At least I didn't go out and get myself a whore!"

"Augh! Just leave me the fuck alone. Stop drinking with my body. You're not getting sex any time soon. Give it up and find some fucking hobby or something. I don't care if you take up needlepoint, just stop the bullshit," Dark almost grinned. Daisuke had no idea what he had done last night. But somehow, Dark was hornier than before. Why? Well, he'd leave that to the philosophers. He'd only have to wait until tonight before he could fuck. Ha ha ha!

For three weeks, Daisuke went unknowing. For three solid weeks, Dark had been drowning in sex. His sex drive was getting out of control. Daily, his desire got worse. By this time, it was getting hard to even wait a day. He was becoming less the sophisticated and able thief, and more a fuck-happy beast. He was losing his sense of caution. It took a great effort not to jump up and rape the first unfortunate to make him horny. He didn't know much anymore, only that his sex life was going too far.

Daisuke was walking to school one morning. It had been three weeks since he had started feeling odd. Each day, it had gotten worse. In the last few days, every time he had so much as glimpsed a beautiful woman, he felt as if he were fainting. Every day he was getting closer and closer to falling into the creeping dark, and every day he was getting jerked back. But today, for some reason, he knew that if he started blacking out, he would black out entirely. Yesterday, he had hit the pavement before he woke up. Just as he was thinking this, a woman walked by in a tight, strapless, red vinyl dress. The only think he could think before fainting was, "Oh shit."

Daisuke sprang up. Or at least he though he did. In reality, he was in the back of his mind. His soul took a look through his eyes. Something was wrong. Everything was… almost a bit purple? Wait a second, he was in Dark's body! Holy shit on rye toast, what the fuck was Dark doing! All he could see was the woman with the dress's face, contorted with pain, lying on a black garbage bag. She was shouting, "Get off! Stop! Help! Rape!" The ugly truth hit Daisuke like a sack of bricks. Dark was raping this woman!

I can't escape this hell

So many times I've tried

But I'm still caged inside

Daisuke panicked. He tried everything he could think of to regain control. He kept trying to break through the mental binds which Dark put him in when he took over. He did every thing he could to escape. It felt like hours passed, but nothing. He soon gave up, and tried to shut out what his body was doing. He tried not to think about the horrors Dark was committing. He tried to keep the screams out of his ears, but all he could hear was her voice. His eyes ran thick rivers of tears.

Somebody get me through this nightmare

I can't control myself

"Stop it…" he half-cried, half-shouted, "Please, stop! Stop! Stop it! Don't do this! No!" He was sobbing. "Help me! Please stop! I don't want this! I don't want to do this! Stop it! STOP!" He curled up and cried in despair. His body was out of his control. He was beyond terror. As his renegade form reached orgasm, the sickening surge of lust and pleasure hit him. This made him even sicker. How any part of his soul could enjoy this was so disgusting to him that he almost vomited. As he saw Dark grab a knife, his soul slipped into waiting darkness.

So what if you can see

The darkest side of me

No one would ever change this animal I have become.

Help me believe, It's not the real me

Somebody help me tame this animal

Daisuke awoke with a start. He was in his room, a blood-stained Wiz asleep on his dresser. He felt very empty inside. Suddenly, the memories of what Dark had done rushed back to him. His stomach clenched, and he threw up in disgust. He looked down at his hands. Blood. Not his. Hers. He vomited again. Trying to reconcile himself at least a little bit, he went down to his kitchen for some food. Probably not the best idea, but hey, he was distraught. He poured a glass of milk with shaking hands. Then he realized he had forgotten the glass and was pouring milk onto his countertop. He wiped it up quickly, then grabbed a glass. His grip shattered it, leaving glass shards deep in his palm. He winced as the blood dripped. Rolling his eyes, he threw the glass that hit the floor into the garbage, cutting his hand up more.

Daisuke went into his bathroom and began removing the sharp bits of glass from his hands, wincing from the pain. As he removed shard after shard, he realized that the pain of Dark's deeds didn't hurt so badly. It was almost like the physical pain was taking the edge off of his own guilt. But that didn't really matter. It still hurt beyond what words could say. Maybe, even if only a little bit, a little more bleeding would help heal the wounds. He almost chuckled at this sad irony. He picked up one of the glass pieces, before dropping it. What if he got infected? What if he cut too deep and bled to death? What did he care? Did he even deserve to live anymore? His questions pointed him deeper into a cycle of pain.

Daisuke grabbed a razorblade from the drawer. If he was going to do this, he might as well do it right. He sat on the edge of his bathtub and pressed the corner of the cold edge to his wrist. The pain was almost relieving as his skin split before the edge. His bloody hand guided it down his arm, draining him further. He placed the blade on the side of his tub beside him. All he did was watch the blood flow onto the cold, white tiles. He came to the realization that he was staining his school uniform. Quickly, he threw it into his sink and filled it with bleach. Strange red marks on his clothing was something he wouldn't want to explain to anyone. He slid into his empty bathtub and sealed it. Time to continue soaking in his misery. The now-nude boy slid the razor up the center of his milky-white chest. The pain in his heart was quickly seeping out like blood from his wounds. The bleeding almost felt good to him.

He continued appealing to his guilt, slicing up his arms. He quickly began feeling faint. He felt the same sickening pleasure in his loin from when Dark had finished with the woman in the dress. As he faded into the dark, he noticed the digital clock on his counter. Three in the afternoon. Everyone would be getting out of school now. He wondered what his friends would think if they saw him now, pale and bleeding in a bathtub.

I can't escape myself

So many times I've lied

But there's still rage inside

Somebody get me through this nightmare

I can't control myself

Daisuke snapped awake. His wounds had scabbed over, but the tub still had a thin layer of blood that hadn't solidified. The razor was completely encrusted in reddish-brown. He looked down at his body. He was ridiculously pale. Something somewhat clear, somewhat white was all over his groin. The red-headed boy quickly realized what Dark had done with his body while he was sleeping, as memories rushed back of a new woman in his clutches. His stomach clenched again, and he covered himself with yet a third bodily fluid. Wiz was in the corner, asleep on the clock. He was positively disheveled. He obviously hadn't had time to clean himself since earlier. The rabbit-creature looked so sad and afraid, even as he slept. This was hurting him like it hurt Daisuke. Suddenly, Daisuke looked down. It was already five in the morning! He'd been out for hours! Quickly, he showered and pulled his clothes out of the now-empty sink. Dressed and somewhat crisp, he looked in the mirror. He was so pale… It made him sad.

At school, Takeshi ran up and said, "What's up, buddy!" Daisuke sighed. Takeshi's eyes shot wide open. "Dude! What's up with your hand! And your arms! What the hell happened?" Daisuke needed a convincing lie fast.

"Oh, uh, I was walking to school and some dude knocked me into a rosebush. I was really cut up, so I went home to clean myself up."

"How is your hand THAT cut up from falling into a bush?"

"Actually, when I was home after that, I, uh, was just so pissed at the guy that I broke a glass in my hand. I felt a little sick after cleaning that up, so I just took the day off."

"Damn! If I could take a day off of school just 'cuz I crushed a glass in my hand, I would." Daisuke sighed again. It was a good thing that Takeshi was completely dense to others' feelings, otherwise he might not buy Daisuke's threadbare lie. Just as long as Riku didn't notice. Suddenly, fear struck him. What if he couldn't keep Dark away from her? He couldn't live with himself! Anger flared up, threatening the thief inside his heart. But there was nothing. Daisuke felt almost empty. He felt like he in the painting with Freedert, without Dark. In a way, he was right. Dark Mousy, the Phantom Thief Dark, was gone for good. All that remained was a beast with his face.

Throughout the day, he kept the story about his wounds going. Rumors of him being a masochist, which, ironically, would be true, were not something he wanted to deal with. Sometime between classes, Riku held him up to ask something. "What's wrong, Dai-kun? Something's bothering you."

"I'm fine," he replied, somewhat emotionless, " Don't worry. Nothing's wrong."

"Please, don't lie to me. I'm not Takeshi, I can tell when someone is sad. I love you too much to turn the other way."

Daisuke smiled. "I know. Thank you, but don't worry. I'm just a bit embarrassed I had to skip school because some jerk got to me."

"Oh. So your pride is just bruised. Typical."

"Hey! That rosebush hurt!" he defended. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before walking off to class. Daisuke smiled faintly. At least he had her.

So what if you can see

The darkest side of me

No one would ever change this animal I have become

After school, Daisuke decided to try painting to maybe release the pain. He was just about to put paint on his pallet when Satoshi burst into the room, locking the door behind him. "Satoshi? What's up?"

"That's what I intend to find out, Daisuke. You see, you're the only one who knows."

"Wh-what?" Daisuke stammered. Satoshi strode over and grabbed his wrist.

"No rosebush did this. You did."

"Why would I cut myself? I'm not some emo kid." (note: no offense to emo kids)

"Because of what Dark has been doing," Satoshi said. Daisuke looked away in shame. "I know what has been going on, and it's my fault." In shock, the redhead stumbled back and landed ass-first in a bucket of paint. A flicker of a smile crossed the blue-haired boy's face as he helped Daisuke up.

"Getting back on track, it's because of me that Dark has gone crazy, although I never intended anything at all to happen with you. For reasons beyond my understanding, my darker side stated getting overwhelmed by lust as well. Krad was threatening to take over and kill you if I didn't let him masturbate. You're still alive, so you know what choice I made. Somehow, that simple gesture turned him into a sex-crazed beast. It seems his drives affected Dark, almost like an overflow of testosterone going from one half to the other."

"So? Yes, I've been dealing with this little faux pas in a bad way. You know that. But can you help? Can you stop any of this," Daisuke half-whined, half-shouted, "or are you just telling me so you can feel better about being unable to help?" What he had just said surprised him. Daisuke didn't know anything that bitter and vitriolic could come out of his mouth, let alone at the only person who could even understand what he was going through.

Help me believe, It's not the real me

Somebody help me tame this animal I have become

"I'm sorry. I can't stop this for either of us. But I didn't tell you this just for my own sake. I want to help you. I care too much about you to let you just throw your life away," he said. Daisuke's eyes welled with tears. "After all, you're not the one doing this."

At this simple reassurance, Daisuke calmed a bit. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have flipped out on you like that. I'm just guilty that I couldn't stop him. I don't want him to hurt anyone else."

Satoshi stopped him. "It's okay. Besides, I haven't been dealing with Krad very well either," He looked down in guilt while he pulled off his shirt. There were wounds all over his chest and shoulders, long and short, wide and narrow, straight and jagged. But the worst thing was the needle trails along his forearms. Daisuke gasped. What had he been doing to himself? "I only have a day or two left to live, at best. I don't want you to do the same thing I did. Daisuke, don't die like I will."

"Sato… please, don't die. I need help, and you're the only one who can know. I need you."

"I'm sorry I won't be able to help you much more."

"Just stay with me. Stay at my house for at least a few days. I don't want you to die. Besides, we might help each other pull through." Satoshi sighed at this request.

Help me believe, It's not the real me

Somebody help me tame this animal

"I'll do it. But don't blame me if you wake up some jolly night with a half-dead Krad fucking you in the ass." The two chuckled darkly. Maybe, just maybe, they'd pull through.

That night, before they went to bed, Satoshi pulled a bottle of pills out of his pack. "Daisuke," he said, "Take one of these just before you fall asleep. It's ketamine. Horse tranquilizer. This puppy will keep Dark under control. Of course you'll be temporarily paralyzed within half an hour, but I think the possibility of wetting your bed is worth it."

"Thanks." He lay down and popped the pill, then looked over at Satoshi. "Sato-kun?"

The honorific surprised him, "Yes?"

"Thanks for being here. I don't know why, but I'm not as afraid anymore." Satoshi smiled at this.

"It's no problem… Dai-kun. I just don't want you worrying." Even if he was doomed, at least the one left behind would have a chance. He grabbed a handful of the ketamine pills and swallowed them with a large gulp of water. 'Ah well, so much for me,' he thought as reality faded.

Somebody help me through this nightmare

I can't control myself

Somebody wake me from this nightmare

I can't escape this cell

The next morning, Daisuke woke up. He felt a bit different today. Somehow he knew that Dark was frustrated, which meant that Satoshi's advice had worked. He jumped over and tried to wake his friend up. "Hey, Sato-kun, it worked!" Satoshi didn't move. Daisuke shook him. "Satoshi? Satoshi? Are you alright?" Daisuke checked his friend's pulse. Nothing. He was cold and dead. Daisuke's eyes flowed with tears. "Satoshi! Wake up! It's me, Daisuke! Wake up! Wake up! Please, Sato-kun, I need you!" Daisuke sobbed into his dead friend's chest. Suddenly, he felt something change in him. Something was coming, and it was by no means a good thing.

As he felt the animalistic spirit take over, he was cast into the back of his mind. The creature, for Dark no longer had a human soul, ripped its and Satoshi's pants off. Daisuke's soul screamed. No! This was NOT happening! It couldn't be! The beast that was once dark turned Satoshi's dead body over and begin doing the unspeakable. Daisuke was so sickened by this unforgivable sin against his friend that he vomited repeatedly, enough that even the body vomited on his body. This obviously was NOT what he wanted. He saw Dark's shaft desecrating Satoshi's body. He tried to turn away, but he still saw it in his soul-mind's eye. Oh how it disgusted him.

(Author's Note: I'm sorry. I don't know what possessed me to write this little bit. I'm really sorry. Please, scroll down and skip this bit. I need a fucking antacid. I'm gonna puke…)

This Animal

Daisuke felt the rush of sick, vile orgasm hit his lower half. When he felt like the thief was done, he turned around and saw something even more shocking through his eyes. To hide the body, Dark had begun eating him. There was a big, gaping hole in the neck, and he almost felt the blood dripping down his chin. At this shock, Daisuke's already-frail mind shattered utterly.

This Animal

Daisuke was just conscious enough to realize that Wiz was tugging at Dark's hair, begging him to leave the poor corpse alone. Rather than oblige, Dark grabbed his familiar off of his back and shoved him up Satoshi's cum-filled ass, then began eating through the stomach. Needless to say, Daisuke was broken down even further.

This Animal

Soon, Dark reached the intestines. He shoved them down his throat until he reached the still-squirming ball of fur that was Wiz. Daisuke's familiar screamed a very human scream as he was bitten in two by the demon, for that was what Dark was now: a demon.

(Author's Note: Why the fuck did I write this?)

This Animal

Daisuke felt something in his heart ripping itself away. He screamed in mortal pain as his soul was torn apart. Without his familiar, something holding him together was gone. Now it was only him binding himself to this plane of existence. That ripping was the part of his spirit bound to Wiz.

This Animal

The demon finished picking the bones clean. All that was left was Sato-kun's head, looking somewhat peaceful, even though that was all that remained on his skeleton. The demon faded back into the darkness. Daisuke was back in control, if that's what he could call it. He simply surveyed the situation for a moment, very much broken, barely able to stay conscious. "Where the fuck did I leave that razor."

This Animal

Daisuke lay down upon his bed with his old devil between his fingers. He didn't hesitate or even care how badly he ruined his clothing and slashed himself across the still-clothed chest. A long, red stain appeared and began growing across his night-shirt. He gashed his arms and chest again and again until he felt he was drowning in his own blood. Suddenly, he remembered something. What was he going to do with Satoshi's body? He looked over at his friend's peaceful face. Then his eyes slowly rotated downwards to the clean, off-white bones. Damn it! He vomited all over his floor. One more mess he'd have to clean up…

This Animal

It was almost a day before Daisuke woke up again. He knew Dark had been out at least a few times since the incident with Sato-kun, mostly because both the body and Daisuke's vomit were gone. He was still bloody, but at least he didn't have a corpse to deal with anymore.

So what if you can see

The darkest side of me

It had been another two nights before he mustered the strength do to anything but sleep and cut himself. By now, some of the earlier scabs were scarring, which itched ridiculously. He decided to take a walk to clear his mind. Maybe something out there would help him find clarity.

Or maybe he'd just chance to walk by a prostitute within sight Riku's house. Of course, as soon as this happened, nobody's favorite rapist popped up and began pleasing itself with the unwilling whore in an alleyway, one that just happened to be visible from Riku's balcony. And guess who just happened to be hanging out on her balcony musing about Daisuke? Yes, it was the worst case scenario, and Daisuke was helpless.

Up in her balcony was Riku. She was staring across the city, wondering how Daisuke was doing. She noticed movement nearby. It was the one she called Pervert Thief Dark! What was he doing here? She tensed up, and watched as he… had sex with someone in an alleyway! Jeez what a lecherous sicko! She soon realized that whoever he was fucking wasn't exactly happy or willing to be there. She quickly went down to her kitchen and grabbed several large, sharp and pointy objects, varying from meat cleavers and butcher's knives to a cast-iron skillet. Dark finished with the victim and drew a knife. Rika knew what was next. She turned away as she knew what the creep did. She turned back and saw him walking towards her house! But something was wrong. He seemed sick. He was almost… fading? Fading into a young teenager with red hair and a white shirt. Daisuke! Holy shitburgers! He trudged along and collapsed onto the concrete. She rushed downstairs and out the door.

No one would ever change this animal I have become

Daisuke found himself walking along the road after Dark was done. All he saw was… Riku's house! Oh no! Please let her not have seen this! Just as he thought this, the lack of blood in his system caught up to his legs. They gave out under him and he landed on his face. He saw Riku rushing out of her house… but to help him or not? She put his arm over her shoulder and stood him up, letting him rest at least part of his weight on her. She was nervous, he could tell by her shaking.

"What's going on! I just saw Dark rape and murder a woman in an alleyway, and then turn into you! Why can't you stand!"

"Hold on, hold on. Now, what question do you want the answer to first?"

Rika barely thought for a moment before asking, "How did Dark just transform into you?"

"Family curse… all the Niwa men start turning into Dark at age 14. He's a separate being that uses our bodies as vessels. I take it you saw what he did in the alley?" She nodded. He hung his head in guilt. Of all the people who could have found out about this… Why did it have to be the girl he loved? "Dark's not human anymore. He's… just an animal now. All he does is rape. And I have to deal with it. I have to deal with not being able to hold him back. I have to deal with it being my fault! I can't do it! It's taking my life! I'm too pathetic to even deal with it! I've turned into some kind of masochistic freak who turns into a rapist!" He cried, increasingly desperate.

Help me believe, It's not the real me

Somebody help me tame this animal I have become

Daisuke fell into her arms, sobbing his eyes out. "This isn't me! I'm not a monster! I don't want to be this! I just want my soul back!"

"Dai-kun…" Riku's eyes began watering. This sweet boy, the one she loved, how could he do this? He couldn't. It was Dark, not him. That bastard! He was going to pay for this! Her tears began mingling with his.

"I'm sorry…" he said. She brought his head near and kissed him.

"Daisuke. What Dark did was not your fault. You're still you, no matter what. I still love you." Daisuke's eyes met hers, and for a moment, she felt the same pain he did. The same fear that he would never be himself again, the fear he would hurt someone he loved. Suddenly, he felt Dark creeping back to focus. Daisuke did the one thing he could think of to save the girl he loved.

Help me believe, It's not the real me

Somebody help me tame this animal

"He's here," he muttered, as he pulled away and ran. He was not going to let Riku get hurt. His legs moved faster, adrenaline pumping through. This time, Dark would not get what he wanted.

When Daisuke arrived home, he slid into his room and locked the door tight. He almost wished his mom were here, just to keep him from doing what he had to do. Just to keep him alive for one more day. He rummaged through his dresser drawer, searching for his enemy again. His fingers found it, and he drew the razorblade out of the drawer, with something between fear and determination. Now was the time. The beast that used to be Dark was screaming in his skull, threatening to tear his soul apart and leave him a shell. The red-haired boy didn't even hear the yelling in his head. He slit his finger and rubbed his goodbye on the wall.

This animal I have become.

The next week, his parents returned from their trip. It was in the middle of school, so they had expected an empty house. Mrs. Niwa began checking her messages. According to them, Daisuke had been absent from school unexcused for the last week. She was worried. Dai-kun would have called in and told the school if he was sick. Something about this was very wrong. Her parental instinct told her so. She dashed upstairs and knocked on her son's door. Nothing. She tried calling for him. Nothing. She tried to open the door, but it was locked. Something in there was horribly wrong. She called for help. After picking the lock, the Niwas looked into the room. What was inside left everyone shocked.

Daisuke was on the floor, dead. He had slit his own throat with a razorblade, but not before carving his finger open and scrawling something on the white paint behind him.

"I'm sorry, Rika."

Endnote: How in the fuck did I come up with shit like this! I don't know. Hope you fuckers like it. All it was missing was incest and violent knife-sex. AUGH! Never doing that. Nope. Not ever. I'm not writing what happened to Satoshi either. However, you sick fucks are welcome to. Personally, I'm writing to my psychiatrist. I think that there's just a shade of a chance that I have problems. Just review now that you've read. I expect to get myself burned in effigy for this one. Seriously, flame away. I'm too cold as it is. Fucking peace out.