In the second season of Abbix Crazy Castle ( a fic/comic I'm still about to do, but I'm too lazy to actually start), a crazy/mad/disturbing/troll/ retarded/pyromaniac/rocketmaniac/genius scientist called Diff created a device that allowed ordinary people to be the main characters in any game. Then he captured the castle's owner (Abbix, she's a girl) and forced her to enter a game with him (because what's the matter of doing awesome stuff if you don't have someone to see it?), now cut the bullcrap and let's get on with the story.

CHAPTER 1 (Shadow of the colossus)

Abbix: Where am I? Why the hell am I on a horse? WHERE THE HELL IS MY KEY?

Diff: Your key is now Diamonds.

Abbix: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS TIME?

Diff: You don't have to thank me, I just acomplished your greatest dream! Guess where we are.

Abbix: Hang on a second...epic scenario...epic music playing (where the hell is that coming from?)...EAGLES! I FUCKING KNOW WHERE WE ARE!

Diff: *smiles* Where?

Abbix: SOTC!1111!eleven

Diff:What?

Abbix: -_- shadow of the colossus you dumb shit.

Diff: ohh...YES I knew that...sooooo, where do we go now?

Abbix: We keep on riding this horse until we reach the Gigantic Bridge of Pointless Length.

Diff:...okay.

So they kept on riding the horse for days and Diff built a rocket laucher at the cost of 3 trees and 5 meters of deer intestine (don't ask how).

Abbix: WE'RE here! Now just cross the bridge.

*2 hours later*

Diff: WE'RE NOT EVEN IN THE MIDDLE DAMN IT! I have an Idea.

Abbix: What? Uhhh no nononononono DON'T!

*explosion*

3 hours later they wake up in a beach, all wet, and smelling deer intestine.

Abbix: YOU FUCKING BROKE THE BRIDGE!

Diff: Hmmm, so rocket jumping doesn't work on Sotc..

Abbix: What?

Diff: Shadow of the colossus...

Abbix: You're a genius.

Diff: I know right? You would've never thought of that.

Abbix: YEAH NOW WE HAVE TO GO ALL THE WAY UP TO CROSS THE FUCKING DESERT TO GET TO THE FUCKING TEMPLE!

Diff: Worth it.

Abbix: *sigh* Well at least the horse's alive.

1 day and one tired horse later.

Diff: Here we are, now what?

Abbix: Now we are here to resssurect a -WAIT A SECOND! WHO THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO RESSURECT! There's no one that is dead that I want to be alive again...

Diff: I can fix that.

Abbix: No, you can't kill me.

Diff: So let's bring HIM back! *pulls out body from the pocket*

Abbix: Where did he come from?

Diff: Doesn't matter, I want to kill him again, I don't think he suffered enough the last time I did it.

Abbix: All because of that book?

Diff: YOU SAY IT AS IF IT WAS NOTHING!

So they put the body on the bed-like rock, and the light came from the roof and it began to talk to them.

Diff: I'm definitely high.

Dormin: *speaks gibberish*

Diff: *Speaks gibberish*

Abbix: SPEAK ENGLISH!

Diff: His accent is horrible.

Dormin: In order to return him to life thou have to kill 16 colossi and get tentacle raped each time you do it, so I may insert myself in you.

Abbix: That sounded sooooo wrong.

Dormin: You may go now, you and your partn...where is him?

Abbix: yeah yeah, I'll take the colossi down...DIFF! WHERE ARE YOU!

Diff: Down here!

Abbix: What are you doing?

Diff: I just overwrote your save files (:3)

Abbix: what do you me—

Diff: I used your consoles as basis to my device.

Abbix: BUT I WENT THROUGH THE GAME SIXTEEN TIMES GOD DAMN IT.

Diff: I know...hehe

Abbix: *sigh* okay...

Diff: Noooooow how do we get to the colossus? The horse looks quite tired.

Abbix: *is holding on an eagle's leg while it flies* Not a problem for me...

Diff: What the fuck? This game is soooo retarded.

Abbix: Deal with it, now bye.

Diff: Damn it...hmmmm...*looks at horse*...*looks at rocket launcher*...

Abbix*flying*: YAY this is so much fun.

As she talked to herself Diff passed flying with a horse that could shit fire as he labeled all entities around him as "SUUUCCKKKEEERRSSSSS".

Abbix: What the fuck?

Dormin: How did he...

Abbix: Don't ask, you'd rather not know.

5 minutes later.

Diff: I think I killed the horse...and the colossus...and my leg.

Abbix: Okay...so there's a hole in his belly and horse pieces everywhere and something on your leg I'm not sure what.

Diff: What's the point of those platforms?

Abbix: Wait...every time we kill a colossus we get tentacle raped...

Diff: As of in...literally?

Abbix: Yes.

Diff: But since we are two it is gonna have to choose one of us, and since you're a girl...

Dormin: Don't worry, there's enough for two.

Abbix and Diff: Oh shit...

1 day and unmentionable happenings later.

Abbix: Come on, get up.

Diff: My ass still hurts...

Abbix: *pulls Diff up*

Diff: OW OUCH! Oh, there the pain is gone, thanks.

Dormin: Thy next foe is...

Abbix: yeah, yeah a colossus in the beach behind the temple, I get it, I already played this game...*looks at Diff* SIXTEEN TIMES!

Diff: *trollface*

Abbix: So, now that you killed the horse by means I would find rather disturbing to mention, how are we going to get there?

Diff: Hmm, we just need to find something in which I can build a parachute with..*looks around*

Abbix: Why a parachute? OHHH not that.

Diff: Why not? I still have 3 rockets left!

Abbix: Because it will also kill us.

Diff: It didn't back at the bridge…hang on…I got an idea.

Abbix: Okay…what will you do now?

Diff: How do you get to eagles again?

Abbix: Just jump and grab their legs…oh I get it, finally you have an idea that isn't extremely dangerous and retard—WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

Diff: YAYYYY *is flying a eagle that can shit fire*

Abbix: …AW SCREW IT *goes along*

10 minutes later

Abbix: It's good that we jumped before the rocket blew up…uuhhh, Diff? Where are you?

Diff: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! *is a fireball*

Abbix: What? NONONONO GET AWAY FROM ME!

Diff: *explodes on impact*

Abbix: *Flies away*

Diff: I'M FINE!

Abbix: sfhjfhgksdkfsaygfkhfdgsk

Diff: Where are you?

Abbix: *heavy breathing* YOU ARE LUCKY THAT THIS GAME AIN'T REALISTIC ENOUGH FOR ME TO DIE OUT OF A THERMAL SHOCK YOU SICK FUCK, IT IS NOT THE MOST DELIGHTFULL FEELING TO FALL ON THE WATER WHILE ON FIRE!

Diff: uhhhh…sorry

Abbix: okay, I'll get my payback later, let's just kill the colossus….*eerie smile*

15 minutes later

Diff: AAAAAHHHH IT'S NOT FAIR!

Abbix: *is riding a colossus and chasing Diff* Oh it is mate, it just is. REVENGE!

30 minutes of chasing later they get to the temple.

Dormin: NO! STAY AWAY! THIS TEMPLE'S SIZE IS NOT FIT FOR A COLOSSUS!

The colossus then enters the temple, and destroys good part of it.

Dormin: ENOUGH! THIS IS DISRESPECTFULL! YOU TWO ARE NOW BANISHED FROM THIS LAND FOR EVER!

Diff: Looks like we got the secret ending :3

*poof* they're gone.

END OF CHAPTER 1