A Dream About A Girl

A Twilight Fanfiction
by PatchsFallenAngel

Characters: Edward

Rating: T

Genre: Drama/Tragedy

Summary: ONESHOT. Edward has a dream about his and Bella's past together. AH. Edward's Point of View. Tissue alert.

Authors Note: EDITED: 11/7/12

Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer. Unfortunately.

We went to bed that night exhausted after a big day… and an even bigger night. My beautiful fiancée snugged closed to me as sleep took her. When I heard the sound of her faint snores, I let sleep take me also. Take me away from my long day at the hospital; take me away from my unvoiced troubles; take me away, just for a few hours.

That night, like usual, I dreamt of my time with Bella Swan. Bella and I had been together since Freshman year of high school when she moved to Forks from Arizona. From the moment I saw her sweet face, I knew that she was the One. She had long, wavy brown hair and her eyes were a deep chocolate brown that melted my heart every time I looked into them. She was smart, funny, and popular. Everything a man could ask for. And I fell in love with her right then and there.

We flirted for a few weeks before I got the balls to ask her out on a date. A date which, might I add, was a moment mess. I took her out to dinner at a new restaurant in Port Angeles, a town that was an hour away from Forks. She didn't come to school for a week after that due to food poisoning.

Embarrassed, I avoided her like the plague. That was until she knocked some sense into me. After a month of careful avoidance, she slapped me across the face and said, "It's rude to not call a girl after a date, especially when that date results in food poisoning!"

I stifled a laugh at her cuteness. Her face was red with anger and she had the most adorable scowl on her lips. It was like watching a kitten pretending to be a lion.

Needless to say, she slapped me again.

The next day, I brought her flowers that I had picked from my mother's garden and asked her to be my girlfriend. She said scowled, but I saw through the icy façade.

"I will beg for your forgiveness on my knees if I have to," I remember telling her. She rolled her eyes, not believing me.

I was about to get down on bended knee when she stopped me. "Fine," she said exasperated. 'I forgive you."

"And you'll be my girlfriend?" I pressed.

Sighing in false-reluctance, Be;;a whispered, "Yes."

I remember vividly the first time Bella and I had made love. It was the best night of my life. I was gentle and patient with her as I showed her how much I loved her. It was prom night and only a few weeks before graduation. I was so excited that Bella and I would be attending the same college. I would be studying medicine while she studied journalism.

But when we got to college, everything changed. Bella started experimenting with drugs and alcohol and attending frat parties. Her grades were slipping but she didn't seem to care. Her friends stopped talking to her and she began avoiding me. Her new friends were dragging her down more and more. When she was confronted about all the things she was doing, she'd start crying and throwing a tantrum like a two year old.

I just wanted my old Bella back.

After a couple of months, Bella had apologised for treating me badly, so we scheduled a date to get back on track. I thought that maybe the old Bella – my Bella – might come back to me.

But she didn't.

Instead I found her on her bed screwing my roommate and best friend, Jacob Black. There was yelling and screaming. Then Bella brought on the waterworks, telling me that she was sorry and that she loved me. I threw the flowers I had bought her on the ground and walked out her door.

She and Jacob had apparently been seeing each other for a few weeks. After our confrontation, they had made it official. I killed me seeing my ex-best friend and my ex-girlfriend together every day, especially when I walked in on them in mine and Jacob's dorm. They held hands and kissed every five seconds. I tried to escape it but everyone would talk about what a great couple Bella and Jacob were.

Eventually I moved on. Well, not completely. I could never get over Bella, no matter how hard I tried. But I started dating. Tanya, Lauren, Kate, Irina. I even went out with Rosalie Hale a couple of times. Rosalie is now my sister-in-law and is pregnant with my nephew. I was happy for her and brother, Emmett. I also moved out of mine and Jacob's door. It just hurt to much seeing the pictures of him and Bella on his wall.

One night, about one week after I graduated from college, I just arrived back at my apartment after my date with a sophomore named Angela Weber and I heard a knock at my door. When I opened the door and saw Bella standing outside, soaking wet, I was both surprised and angry. How dare she show up unannounced! But I couldn't stay angry for long. Love is stronger than hate, and no matter how much I want to hate Bella, I could never stop loving her.

"Can I come in?" she asked. Her hair was a mess, her makeup was smudged and she reeked of alcohol.

But she sounded just the same. Just like my Bella. I had missed the sound of her soft, sweet voice.

I nodded my head, a thousand questions running through my mind.

"Let me get you a towel," I managed to say, pushing my silent questions to the back of my brain.

She smiled and thanked me. When I came back with a towel and a dry pair of clothes, I saw her eye the clothes suspiciously.

"You left these in my cupboard before..." I tried to explain, but the mention of our previous life together hurt too much. Besides, I wasn't about to tell her that I kept a couple of pairs of her clothes so that I wouldn't forget her scent as I cried myself to sleep each night.

Her face twisted in pain as I spoke, recalling the night she ripped out my heart and soul.

I faced the other direction as she changed out of her wet clothes and into the dry ones. While I'd seen her naked numerous times before, it felt wrong now. She wasn't mine to look at anymore.

"Done," she said once she had changed. The smell of freesia and strawberry filled the air and I felt at home. I turned around to face her. Seeing her beautiful face again (even with a makeup smudged face she was still beautiful) was painful.

"Thanks again, for the clothes," she said. "I didn't even notice it was raining at first." She attempted a smile. It looked more like scowl.

"I caught Jacob in bed with another woman," she finally explained after a brief awkward silence.

I remained quiet while she talked and talked about how great things seemed between her and Jacob, when all the time he had been seeing a girl named Leah Clearwater behind her back. She told me about how she went to rehab and is no longer taking drugs and how tonight was the first drink she'd had in almost a month. I think that she expected me to be proud of her or to congratulate her or something.

But there was nothing but silence.

She tried a new tactic, and started talking about school. She was catching up on all of her classes and has been accepted into two grad schools. One was situated here in Seattle and the other in Chicago. She was going on a tour of the Chicago campus tomorrow. I think she wanted me to say, "Stay in Seattle." Truthfully, I was hoping she'd take the one in Chicago. Far away enough that I wouldn't have to be in pain every day when I saw her.

But, yet again, silence.

Eventually, she sighed and said, "I know I was selfish and you have every right to hate me, but just know that I never stopped loving you, Edward."

She looked at me expectantly, but I remained silent. When she figured that I wasn't going to say anything, she got up off the couch she had been sitting on. I thought she was going to leave. Instead she straddled me and started kissing me.

I had missed her lips against mine. The soft feel of them on my own; the way her teeth took my bottom lip and bit and suckled; the way she caressed my face with her hands leaving a tingling feeling on my skin; the way her lips traced my jawbone and nipped at my Adams apple. It felt like it did before.

But this wasn't before, no matter how much I wished otherwise.

I pushed her back and sat her next to me. I then got off the couch and asked her leave. I had to be strong and stop this before I got hurt again. Besides, she was drunk and upset. I didn't want her waking up tomorrow full of regret, just to run back to Jacob.

Then she started begging. Literally begging. On her hands and knees, crying for my forgiveness. I held back the tears and the urge to comfort her. The urge to tell her that I loved her too and that everything was going to be alright.

But everything wasn't going to be alright, and probably never would be again.

I picked her up off the ground and a glimmer of hope sparkled in her eyes. "Please, Bella," I said, my voice breaking, "Just go."

She stared into my eyes and saw into my soul – the same one that she had broken. She saw the raging battle in my mind and knew that I didn't want her to leave. But she also saw the part of me that knew it was for the best, so she left.

But before she walked out of my door, out of my life, she said to me, "Maybe someday we'll be together again."

I walked over to her and stopped right in front of her. This would be my last chance to tell her to stay and love me and hold me. I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. She kissed me on the cheek and whispered in my ear, "I'll be waiting for you, Edward."

As Bella walked out my door for the last time, I collapse on the floor and started to cry, holding the cheek she had kissed. I could still feel that tingling sensation. And for a dream this all felt so real.

I opened my eyes to see my beautiful fiancée kiss my cheek, and along my jawbone. "Good morning, handsome," she whispered in a husky, morning voice. She started trailing kisses across my chest and abs.

"Morning, Jess," I whispered back.

I hated waking up to another woman after I dream about Bella. This may seem strange, but I feel like I'm cheating on her.

Bella.

Not Jessica.

I hated making love to Jessica while I imagined Bella's face. I wished and wished that it was Bella and not someone else.

Don't get me wrong, I love Jess (otherwise I wouldn't be marrying her in four weeks), but Bella will always have my heart and soul. No matter how much she's broken them; they will always belong to her.

I will always belong to her. But I had to move on.

When mine and Jessica's morning rendezvous ended, she got out of bed and got ready for work. She was a nurse at the hospital I worked at in Chicago. I would have to get up, too, but not for another few hours.

Now, I bet you're wondering, "What about Bella?"

Well, it turns out that Bella's plane to Chicago crashed that day. Drunken pilot. There were no survivors. If I had stopped her and told her the truth, that I loved her more than anything, and then maybe she wouldn't have died.

Maybe someday we'll be together again, I thought as I got up out of bed and strolled over to the window. As I opened the window and the Chicago morning breeze filled my apartment, I swear I heard Bella's faint whisper.

I'll be waiting for you, Edward.