Comfort Me, Cousin
Barnabas and Carolyn

"Comfort me."

It was a simple command and Carolyn had obeyed it. She had crossed the floor and reached out to embrace Barnabas. He had enveloped her in his arms, and she'd felt the familiar pressure on her neck. The pain was meaningless; pleasing him had been her only concern.

Twenty four hours later, fulfilling his commands was still paramount to her but no longer her sole thought. She now knew that Tony Peterson had witnessed her last meeting with Barnabas. He angrily informed her he knew what was going on between them. Carolyn tried to tell him he was wrong, but couldn't find the words to clarify what he had seen as he spied through a window of the Old House. How could she explain it? She had little understanding of it herself. She was compelled to please Barnabas, whatever he asked of her. She needed to please him more than she needed Tony to want her. But she needed that very much, so how could anything matter more?

She thought back to the moment her relationship with Barnabas took a drastic change. Before that night, they had a friendly connection but never spent more than a few moments together, and were almost always around other people. Their cousin David had been saying the most fantastic things about Barnabas; things Carolyn found impossible to accept. David had truthfully told of the existence of Sarah Collins, the ghost of a little girl long dead. Carolyn too had been visited by the apparition. But he also claimed that Barnabas was evil and was trying to kill him. How could such a declaration have any basis in reality? And then there was his assertion that Barnabas kept a coffin in the basement of the Old House. That should be easy enough to prove or disprove, and would perhaps help them figure out how mentally ill the boy really was. Despite David's strong warnings against it, Carolyn decided to go to the Old House and investigate.

She remembered the sensation she had when she first descended the basement stairs and saw the coffin. A cold chill washed over her entire body. There was a coffin! David had been telling the truth about that as well! There was definitely something very, very strange going on with Cousin Barnabas.

In retrospect, Carolyn now mused that she had no idea how strange until after the most terrifying moments of her life had transpired. Barnabas had approached her calmly and slowly; with the manner of a man who knew he was in complete control of the situation. Carolyn had backed away in fear; his face was grotesquely deformed with age. She wasn't even sure it was her cousin until he spoke to her.

"What are you doing here Carolyn?"

"I…I came to see Cousin Barnabas."

"And now you see him."

"But…but you can't be Barnabas!"

"But I am."

"What's happened to your face? It's so old!"

"It won't be old much longer."

He had grabbed her by the arm, spun her around, and pulled her close to his body. His free arm crossed her chest and held her with a vice-grip. She could feel his breath on her neck from his position behind her.

"You may scream all you want, but no one will hear you," Barnabas informed her as an outcry tried to release from her throat.

"Don't be afraid of me my dear," he then reassured her; "I'm not going to hurt you. I wouldn't do anything to hurt my own flesh and blood." He pushed her long blonde hair off her neck and Carolyn could feel her blood throbbing in that very spot. The scream found its momentum, hit the air, and echoed on the cellar walls. She knew that despite his words to the contrary, he was indeed going to hurt her.

But hours later, when she awoke to find herself in Josette's room, in Josette's bed, all those feelings of fear had vanished. Julia Hoffman explained that Barnabas had needed blood to stop aging, and Carlyon felt a joy she'd never known that she was able to help him like that. Both women waited anxiously for Barnabas to appear; had the aging been totally reversed or just stemmed? Carolyn nervously stated, "I hope I haven't failed him; I never want to fail him." When he opened the door and strode into the room on his long legs, the change was instantly apparent. He was young again. He stared knowingly at his cousin sitting up in the bed. He was now her master, and she was his servant. Carolyn look back at him with apprehension and longing; she knew they had a very different relationship from before.

Barnabas had dismissed Julia from the room and Carolyn shook with excitement at his authoritative manner. He then explained what was expected of her. She had been quite happy to be told her priority was to please him; it was her only thought anyway. But it was only a few days before he had ordered her to use her charms and wiles to get Julia's medical notes from the lawyer Tony Peterson, and that was when the conflict began in Carolyn's head. She was very attracted to Tony, but could not be disloyal to her master. The conundrum was making her quite unhappy.

Now, she ventured to the Old House to ask Barnabas for help. Perhaps he could explain it to her in a way she could comprehend. "Tony doesn't understand," she began, answering Barnabas' inquiry of why she came without being summoned. "Yes I know," he interrupted her; "he came to me for an explanation. He was quite jealous." "And what did you tell him?" Carolyn asked, pleased to hear that Tony cared that much. "What little I could," Barnabas answered. "I told him you were being kind to me; that it wasn't what he thought; that we were not romantically involved."

"Aren't we?" Carolyn inquired. "It feels as if we are only it's different than it is with Tony." Barnabas nodded his head, "yes quite different." Carolyn stepped nearer to him and put her hand on his arm. "Could you make me understand? Why is it different? Why do I want to be with him but need to be with you?" Barnabas smiled, "ah yes, 'need' is the operative word my dear cousin." Carolyn stayed silent hoping he'd continue. He guided her to a chair and then took a seat across from her. "When you think of your relationship with Tony, you no doubt think about what you'd like him to do for you; how you'd like him to treat you; where you'd like him to take you." Carolyn nodded her head, "yes, that's true."

"And when you think of me?"

She looked into his haunting gaze. "When I think of you, I think only of pleasing you."

"Do you never think of what you need for yourself?" Carolyn paused to think before replying, "What I need for myself is to please you."

Barnabas sat back in his chair and clasped his hands in his lap. "And that my dear is the difference." "I still don't understand," Carolyn pleaded for him to tell her more, and he continued. "What you and I share is need; primal need. Your need is to please me while my need is more basic."

"Basic? Do you mean sexual?" Carolyn asked in a mortified whisper. Barnabas smiled, "no my dear that's not what I mean at all, although it might feel that way to you." Carolyn felt heated and her skin turned rosy. Her need for Barnabas did feel sexual; like the desires she felt for Tony only heightened. The idea that he didn't desire her that same way troubled her greatly. "Don't you…don't you want women like that?" she haltingly asked. Barnabas' smile vanished. "There is only one woman I've truly desired in that way. The woman I loved before I became what I am…" His voice trailed off, muted by the weight of his losses. Carolyn felt sadness for him, and for herself. Could he not desire another woman? Could he not desire her?

Barnabas read her thoughts and replied, "I do desire you my dear cousin just in a very different way." He stood and paced the room as he continued. "Throughout the centuries, mortal men have believed, and have tried to convince women, that their sexual needs are a matter of life and death. They are not. My needs are." Carolyn's hand involuntarily moved to touch her neck. "Yes exactly," Barnabas commented at her gesture.

"I think I understand," Carolyn said as she stood. Barnabas stopped walking and stood before her. She added, "But how can I make Tony understand?"

Barnabas' eyes turned hard as they stared into hers. "You cannot, and must not try. It would displease me greatly." Carolyn's heart raced and pumped adrenaline throughout her veins. She felt the danger of displeasing her master. "I will say nothing more to him Barnabas, I swear." Barnabas studied her face and believed her. But matters of life and death should never be left to the belief in someone's good intentions; his upper lip curled exposing his own. Carolyn closed her eyes and tilted her head to the side. It was what Barnabas needed, and that was all that mattered to her now.

The End