A/N:

Yes. The RANDOM AND ANGSTY ADVENTURES of Spiffy McSpiffters. Fear, dammit!

(Sprouted from "Spiffy McSpiffters and the Giant Cheesypoof of Luck")

Disclaimer/Warnings: I don't own FB. Language and OOC.

FOR THIS STORY TO MAKE SENSE! You might wanna read the other Spiffy story first.

Spiffy McSpiffters and the Golden Sack of Balls

It was a steamy hot day in the middle of Summer when Akito Sohma decided to go out for a walk. She liked walking, but not in the sun. But because she isn't very smart, she forgot it was sunny. There was an odd noise was released from her mouth and she was gone.

"Damn, it's a fine day!" Screeched Spiffy in Hatori's ear about five minutes later. Spiffy didn't know where she had been the past 6 months, but it didn't bother her. She was alive and living again!

"Are you… okay?" Asked Hatori worriedly, pawing at his nostril with a… pencil (not a paw, poor, or a pawpaw). Spiffy nodded extremely big, before skipping off to find her adventures clothing. She felt an adventure coming on! Little did she know, after Spiffy disappeared, Akito burned the clothes.

"KURENO!" She hollered to Kureno's hand, "Where's my adventures clothing?"

"You burnt it about… 6 or 7 months ago"

"…Damn. Never the less, it's time to find the Golden Sack of Balls!"

Kureno stifled laugher before pointing to the door. Spiffy laughed loudly and ran out the door, arms thrown up in the air in the traditional gangsta slash adventurer slash god-like way. She walked over to the Great Wall of China again and realized she was going to wrong way. So she walked out the Back Great Wall of China.

Back in reality, Hatori was watching Akito though his window. She was heading for the back gates of Sohma House, a tinier and less attractive set of gates, which Akito had ordered to be put in herself. Hatori realized she was probably Spiffy when this had happened.

Back in Spiffyville, Spiffy Jane Mary Akito McSpiffters, God of Cheesypoofs and the 13 Zodiac if you include Kyo, was busy climbing over the Back Great Wall of China. She didn't realize that the gate actually had a latch.

(A/N: Damn, "Spiffy Jane Mary Akito McSpiffters, God of Cheesypoofs and the 13 Zodiac if you include Kyo" is a long name!)

Once over, she headed to the ancient building establishment, where the guarder of the Golden Sack of Balls lived. The ball sack was actually his.

Anyway, she went inside the ancient building establishment and gasped. The guard was standing right in front of her, stunned and shocked! What was she to do? She hadn't packed any supplies, because her adventures clothing was trapped in the fire depths of Hell. Think, Spiffy! Think!

Back in reality, Yuki was standing before Akito, watching her intently. Was there a reason that she was standing there, a ridiculous grin on her face? He turned to Shigure, who giggled.

"Spiffy McSpiffters, I presume," He said slowly, watching Akito sway and giggle. "It's fairly hot today, you know"

"DAMN! Get her the Hell out of here!" Yelled Kyo, punching the back of Shigure's head, "She doesn't belong here in that state!"

"She doesn't belong here anyway" Said Yuki, quietly, watching Akito intently for any traces of rape, mauling or suicide.

Back in Spiffyville, Spiffy had figured out how to ward off the guard so she could chop off his Great Golden Ball Sacks. She whipped out her trusty, plastic, butter knife and tugged on the guards leg, making him topple down in a very angsty fashion. She reached for the ridge of his pants and yanked-

Back in reality Yuki was screaming and hitting Akito on the head with a chair. Nothing would stop her though, as the knife came closer to his…

-down his pants, along with his boxers. She heard a yell of protest as the knife edged towards his Golden Sack of Balls. There was a loud scream, before blood dripped onto her hand. She had got them, finally!

…"Kyo! Get me a bag of something, anything! Tohru! Sauce, any sauce! Shigure! Do nothing!"

"Aye, aye, captain!" Shigure replied, stupidly, as the other two hurried for the items Yuki had asked for. They returned in the nick of time, as Yuki squirted tomato red sauce onto Akito's hands and placed a sack of sand on top. They sighed a sigh of relief as she backed off and walked away.

Back in Spiffyville, Spiffy was overjoyed with the fact she had finally recovered the ancient Golden Sack of Balls. She laughed hysterically before skipping off to the Back Great Wall of China, where she let herself in through the latch this time. She skipped off to Hatori's house.

"Look Hatori! Yuki's ancient Golden Sack of Balls!"

Hatori looked swiftly up from the newspaper he was reading. She hadn't chopped of Yuki's… had she? Oh wait, that was a sack of sand.

"Oh, fabulous, Spiffy!" He replied all too acidly, "I'll get you a… TAKE THIS!"

Hatori held up his pocket fan to Akito's face. She let out a strange noise. Spiffy was gone.

"Hatori," Akito muttered under her breath after about five minutes of complete silence. Hatori looked up at her from his newspaper. He winked.

"Spiffy came out again, Akito. Claimed to have retrieved the Golden Sack of Balls, which happened to be Yuki's testicles," He replied all too calmly, "But it was really a sack of sand. You seem to have sauce on you, as well. Kureno will clean you up,"

"Dammit…" Akito grunted, "I hate the Summer. If I was God, there would be no Summer," With that, she trudged off to Kureno's block, to get cleaned up.

A/N:

Ha. I couldn't help it, I wanted to start a series. A mini series. Yay!

That one was a bit… perverted. I promise the others wont!

Poor Yuki…. Poor Yuki.