Life was boring.
That was the conclusion they eventually had came to. Life was simply really, completely boring. They all had different kinds of views of this boredom. They all reacted differently to it. And probably most importantly, they all were bored for a different reason. Although I guess no matter how different your view, reaction or the reason is, the conclusion's always the same. Boredom.
Near never showed the pain he was feeling because of it, but Mello would often break down crying, out of the blue, and when asked about the reason for it, he would just say he was bored. Nobody took him seriously. A kid was crying because he was bored. How could anyone see it as a real problem? For a normal kid it wouldn't be a problem. A normal kid would complain being bored, and maybe even actually be bored, but it would never be considered as a serious problem. For a kid like Near or Mello it was a problem. A kid like Near or Mello didn't see a possibility of not being bored. When looking at his future, he didn't see a moment of not being bored. A normal kid would eventually find a way out of the boredom. Our kid wouldn't. He would just continue being bored. It was like being buried six feet under, alive. What could you do there except think, think, think, think… you would go insane.
Except our kid wasn't six feet under. He had the whole world before him. He did not have the change of going insane like that. His mind worked clearly and due to the environment it continued to work clearly. The environment would keep his thoughts in a straight line, the thoughts that really made a difference. He didn't know how to cross that line. And in the end he didn't even want to cross that line. In what direction would he go? Would he go and cut his wrists? Would he go insane and shoot us all? Well that would definitely end the boredom. There actually are people who do this and that doesn't imply only on geniuses, like our kid. People do this, just for the sake of not being so bored. Not our kid though, no. See, this is where the environment comes along. This is where it stopped him from crossing the line. Our kid had an environment that would force some common sense into him, it would keep him in a straight line. But his mind was too complex for a straight line. His mind contained twists, turns, curves and a straight line. But a straight line would contain nothing more than that.
Everything was shown black, while all Mello could think of was the colors of a rainbow. When did all those colors turn to gray? I said, he couldn't take it. From time to time, he would break. Usually when you break, there's something wrong. But he was okay, he was just fine, he was plain black. And that he couldn't take. Mello didn't cry because something was wrong. He cried because everything was too okay. Too plain, too black. Black contained every color in the world. But all those colors, black covered, hid in the darkness. Everything was in front of him, but that everything was sucked into a dark hole. Every color turned to black. There you go, all the colors become black. Now would you call that colors or a color? Versatile, anyway. And like that kid, he would continue the straight line, but he would keep breaking again and again. And then continue the line. Repeat. Everything was right, but he was not okay. He couldn't have been, not when all he had in his life was one blank color. I actually think it could have killed him.
Near saw under black. Near saw all the colors of a rainbow. Red, blue, green and everything between them. He could see them all. But truly, Near never saw any other color than white. To Near, red, blue and green would always be too white. He saw nothing to crave for. But also, he didn't have anything. Except everything. But yeah, okay, so? What would he do with everything? He absolutely saw nothing to do with everything. So it was nothing to him. How should he know what he wanted to do since everything was exactly the same? White. Only a rare amount of things had a shade of some kind, had a meaning. And even those were different shades of white. To him, there never even were any colors. Nothing to achieve. To be honest, he didn't care to do pretty much anything. Everything he could do was on the same level as eating a slice of bread with nothing on it. Whoopee. So Near just continued doing the same pattern day after a day. Because, really, jumping off a cliff wouldn't have made much of a difference to him.
A different path, however the conclusion is the same: there's only one color in the world. Black or White. The world's plain. The world's boring.
A kid like Mello. A kid like Near. Or a kid who was Matt. And that kid was so damn bored. Reason: Nothing to do. Reaction: Is doing nothing. View: It is boring. But that would go away after a while, because it really was only, believe it or not, common boredom. Still, neither Matt was like a normal kid. Neither Matt saw any real colors. But Matt didn't have to be so damn bored because of that. You want to know why? Because Matt bought himself a pair of colored goggles.
I was bored.
By the way, I succeeded at sending an incomplete version of this, I had accidentally removed some lines, which I noticed short after sending this. There was some sentence that was cut in the middle of it and then a line feed... -.-' well it's okay now.