Madeline Knapp
Am. Lit. Honors
October 30th, 2013
Write Like Poe
Title
His breath was ragged and unnerving but he carried his actions out regardless to the hyper obtrusive look of weary which spread across his face. I couldn't see the detail of his physique, but the way his brows were slightly furrowed together and mouth turned into a slight frown. His breath was ghastly as it shot through his latex mask and onto my face. The last thing that crossed my mind before I was plundered into the dark water was this man didn't brush his teeth in the morning.
The light was orange as I floated through the air in my sweaty clothes. Only moment before I reached my fate I was pulled from the closest place a mendicant could call home.
His breath was on my face once again as he pulled his lips from my own. A smile stretched his latex face in uncomfortable ways as he asked with much ardor: "What did you see?"
I hesitated before smiling back at my abductor/killer/savior. "Everything."
I am not a sane man. I suppose no one could be if they experienced death at a mere age of thirteen. No, a sane man would not use everything in his power and try to return to the place which had such a great influence on him as a child: the end of the road. If I were sane, I would have called the police on the man who had just committed murder and talked to someone about the ever-flowing thoughts of the warmth and happiness I felt as I approached my undoing.
I am not sane, yet I am not insane either. An insane man would not be able to hold back his temptations of watching the light leave from someone's eyes only for it to return with one much brighter. If I were insane I would let life leave a person only to get the description of the place which takes everyone in the end. I have held myself back and pushed through the desperateness inside of me begging to get a glimpse at the place I loved once and want to love again.
The sun was beating profusely drenching every living being with sweat. The ones who didn't have quality air conditioning made their ways to the secluded beach on the hidden beach. The air was drastically colder from the prodigious trees surrounding to outline of the murky water. The ground sunk deeper and deeper every step I took over the worn ground, and a small part of me prayed I fall into the depths of the Earth to the fiery molten and get swallowed up.
On the day of my first killing I was in the dark memories of my childhood as the most elegant angel walked through the arch in the trees that marked the entrance to the beach. Her hair was a golden which could only be a gift from angels with rosy lips and blushed cheeks which could only mean she had been laughing moments before. The man that walked in behind her with the same rosy cheeks and the remainders of laughter in his eyes could have been and angel himself, but all the hatred built up inside me would have still been cast upon him.
The slight glint off of the pair's fourth finger on their left hand marked their marriage which only raised my anger any more. The beautiful Jeannette was my first friend after I was so violently murdered. In the darkest of days after I tried and collect my bearings on this death obsession without being able to satisfy my needs, her angelic-ness saved me from the torture. Now seeing her years later in all of her former glory, the passion which I felt for her only returned much stronger.
This was the day that I first murdered someone. It was later after Jeannette and her husband had had a few drinks when I approached their blanket. Jeannette looked as if she seen an apparition as I casted a long shadow over them. She stood up and wrapped her long, slim arms around my waist before pulling back. She told me how much she had missed me and questioned why I hadn't visited her and why I had moved without a word. I felt a lump grow in my throat, learning how much she had missed me.
I turned on her, making her surprised. The husband, who introduce himself as Warren, inquired if I would care for a drink, but I shook my head and invited them to take a walk with me. Jeannette said she would love to, but she had to be getting to work. Warren followed me after kissing my love goodbye.
It wasn't long until we trekked out to a secluded area far enough from the beach that no noise echoed through the trees to where we stopped. There was a lengthy broken down dock, which Warren made his way to the end, no hesitation in his steps. Not even an angel itself would be able to stop me from committing the crime which I intended to in this moment. I slowly took my first step onto the dock, and a ghastly croak came from the rotted wood bending under my foot.
Warren opened his mouth to speak, but no one would ever no the last words that would come from his last breath. I placed my hands on his back and I pushed him with all of the weight I could muster. He let out an angry yell as he splashed into the water. Having to calculate these next moments very precisely, I place my hand on the crown of his head and held it in place. Hands shot from under the water, and a sick smile spread across my face.
Bubbling emerged from where his body was as he ran out of breath. Hands squirmed around my firm arm, like a fish which was out of water and trying to return to it's habitat. Splashing from his hands got my clothes soaked and temporarily blinded me.
When the fogginess from my eyes vanished, I no longer saw hand sticking out of the water. No more withering or bubbles came from under the surface. He was dead. I had just murdered a man from the sick pleasure and jealousy that lived deep in my heart. I gripped his hair and dug my nails into his scalp and pulled him from the murky water and dragged him onto the splintering dock.
I pressed my lips to his and breathed into it twice. Pressing my hands in the center of his chest, I pumped five times. I repeated this process multiple times until I felt water shoot from his lungs into my mouth. The sound of coughs filled my ears, and he shoved me away.
"What did you see?" I asked vehemently waiting for a response. He muttered something but I angrily shoved him back into the water.
A glowing light white light at the end of the tunnel is all he could see. Peacefulness surrounded him and every worry he had ever had slipped away. He walked, but it was like he didn't weigh a thing and the ground was as soft as the clouds in the sky above. He saw none of the same things as I.
The struggle was much calmer this time as he was much more exhausted. Slowly I dragged him back and hesitated. He and I did not see the same heaven, but the blood inside me ran cold. Only one of our sights could be the true heaven. The fear that lived in my veins quickly turned to rage and I pushed the dead body of Warren into the water. He sunk quickly, as I ran into the trees.
I stopped at the brook to wash off any sign I was involved in my first murder.
I am not a sane man. I talk and eat and breath just like anyone else, but I am not a sane man. Anger floods through my veins and I act on my impulses and run to Jeannette's home. Memories of his strangled coughs echo in my ears as phantom touches of his trembling hands dance across my arms. I bite my tongue before I scream at the vial act I had just committed.
I find myself standing in front of a familiar door. The wood has started to rot away and I pick at some. I feel splinters dig into the underneath of my nails but I don't flinch at the uncomfortable pain, but welcome it. The door is swung open as I pound on it, and Jeannette smiles at me.
I don't know what comes over me. I try and keep my hands clenched behind my back but it's like hellish forces posses my mind and spirit as I shove through the door into the home. Everything is wrong. Pictures from her childhood have been replaced by ones of her on her wedding day. I turn on her quickly after she shuts the door and wrap my hand around her throat.
Her eyes are shining with confusion and fear as she tries to break away from my hold. The light dies quickly for her airway was cut off while she was unaware what would be happening.
Her body slumps against mine and I drag her to the couch. I know she is only unconscious and not dead. I try and control the monster inside my mind trying to find a away to release itself. I find myself wandering her house and stopping my trek in the bathroom.
My thoughts seem to stop as I stand over the bathtub. The water runs and I think of the first time Jeannette spoke to me. It was at a waterfall close to the lake. I pushed her in. I pushed her intending for her to drown and be saved so someone- anyone would understand the fire at the end of the tunnel. She didn't drown though.
The water started flowing over the rim of the tub and soaking the soles of my shoes. I felt as if I were walking over the moist and sinking lake grounds. Warrens dead eyes flash into my mind and I scream, letting the monster over come me.
Back into the living room I drag Jeannette over the side of the tub.
She does scream, for she isn't awake to begin with. Her lifeless body is held under the clear water without a struggle, just the last air bubbles flowing from her slightly parted mouth.
"I love you." I cried, pulling her back out of the tub.
I breathe twice and pump her chest five times. Nothing happens and panic floods through me. I try again, over and over again, harder and harder, continuing to get no result.
"You can't die, you need to know what I saw." I beg, pushing one last breath into her before letting defeat flood through me.
This was the day I turned insane. This is the day that I killed a person. This is the day I lost the love of my life for the second time.