Naruto was twitching with excitement.

It wasn't every day Sasuke took him out to such a nice place, to buy him a five star dinner, and not ask for some incredulous kink in return. It had, as a matter of fact, been the first in a long time.

Usually they only went out for their anniversary, but the way the teme kept eyeing him nervously and playing with something in his pocket only led him further into suspicious.

Sasuke Uchiha was going to propose tonight.

The Kyuubi container was scared to say the least. The pair had been together for a couple years and though he refused to admit it, Naruto was starting to wonder if the Uchiha would really take this anywhere.

The following night Sasuke invited him to dinner with no strings attached.

Suspicious.

"Wow teme, this really was a great meal! Thank you!" He received a curt nod in response.

The raven was currently chewing on his lip thoughtfully, ideas rushing back and forth, before he rather ungracefully, well as ungracefully as an Uchiha could be, blurted out,

"You know, dobe…we've been together for a long time now…five years to be exact…"

Naruto closed his eyes and took in deep breathes, trying to calm his nerves.

"And there's something I've been meaning to ask you…something very important…"

The young man took out a small red box, sliding it across the table to the blonde. Though it was a little disappointing that Sasuke didn't get down on one knee, Naruto couldn't have been happier.

He eyed the box, small tears forming in his eyes as he looked up at the usually stoic man. "Sasuke, a-are you sure?!"

The raven nodded, a small smirk forming on his thin, pale lips. "Well go on, open it dobe."

For once, he couldn't have been happier to comply, snatching the box up and eagerly popping the top open.

….

"What the fuck is this, Sasuke?"

Naruto's eyes searched for the ring, or rather, there lack of. Sitting in the little box, propped nice between soft velvet was a small blue pill.

"It's an enlargement supplement, it not only helps increase size, but performance as well!" The Uchiha sounded almost as excited as a small child receiving a new toy.

"You know, it really wouldn't hurt if you were a little bigger, and maybe a little better too…"

The demon vessel could do nothing but stare in shock at the small box, attempting to register if he had heard his boyfriend of five years correctly.

Sasuke.

Wanted Naruto.

To take enlargement pills?!

There was nothing remotely funny to this situation, but practically heart wrenching. It almost seemed as if the raven had set this all up, just to fool the boy into thinking is was such a special occasion as a proposal.

"Well I figured a nice place would lessen the blow? Besides, it's funnier this way! I figured we could share a laugh together."

The Uchiha let out a small, nervous laugh, never taking his black orbs off the mortified, crystal blue ones.

Angry tears quickly replaced those of the happy sort as he glared up at Sasuke with such intensity a dark purple aura should have been emitting off his tanned skin.

"Are you serious?! You go to all the trouble of this to ask me to give you better sex?!" The fiery blonde had most of the restaurants attention by now. "You went to all the trouble of setting this up just to ask me something like that?! To insult me, none the less?!"

Sasuke had sunk back into his chair for a millisecond before rising again and trying to calm the loud blonde. "Naruto. We are in a restaurant still!"

"Fuck you Sasuke!"

Naruto spat, tears spilling from the corners of his eyes. "Don't you dare call me after this! That was a sick joke!"

Humiliated, the dobe stalked his way out of the eating establishment, everyone in his path quickly curving away to make a path for the seething young man.

Sasuke blinked once.

Twice.

Before looking around and whispering more to himself, "ha…ha. Way to go, Uchiha."

After much convincing, bribing, even being reduced down to begging, did Sasuke get the blonde out of Kiba's house and back into his arms.

Constantly being reminded that without Naruto, his life would be a lonely one.

And not to mention hell.

The blonde had made it his personal goal to completely ignore the raven everyday for roughly a month.

Driving Sasuke to the brink of insanity.

The loud-mouth, talkative blonde was just unnerving when he was silent.

Literally!

Though sometimes the Raven couldn't help but wonder how nice such a silence would be, when the blonde would go into bitchy-rant-at-Sasuke-because-I-can-hold-a-grudge mode after seeing any type of enhancement commercial.

A/N: I'm not sure if I liked how this ended, but ehhhh, it's just a little one-shot to try and get my juices flowing! Thanks for reading! Please review, so smut can ensue.