Title: Hidden Secrets
Author: BloodOrigen
Spoilers: Rising
Disclaimer: I don't any of these characters…but if David Hewlett would like to donate himself and his character Rodney McKay to the Michelle foundation…be my guest.
Summary: Sometimes it's better if things stay hidden, because when they are exposed life can only get worse.
Chapter 1 – Past, Present, Future
Death, Destruction, Plague. As he looked around the destructed area all he could feel was sadness. A piece of rubble skipped along the broken stone as his foot moved, broken stone that he had created with his own hands and mind. Technically this broken stone shouldn't be here. That little piece of rubble shouldn't skip across other rocks, and those columns shouldn't be standing over in that distance. This area should have been destroyed with the rest of it. A black hole should be here where this planet currently stood. He didn't understand how it was still here.
He wondered why he was here. How he got here because for a fact he knew he did not walk through the Stargate. Quickly blue eyes scanned the destroyed area and a sudden pain flashed across them. This was his mistake and Atlantis was pointing it out to him. She was showing him what went wrong and pleading with him to fix it, but this was one thing he did not know how to fix. He did not know how to revive an entire civilization. He did not know what he could do anymore.
Carefully he walked down the rubble following the directions Atlantis was giving him. As he walked he thought about all the secrets he hid from the people who cared about him…but Atlantis knew them all.
When he was 10 he realized that he was adopted. He didn't stumble across his adoption papers like other kids did, nor was he told, instead he did the impossible…he moved things with his mind. At 10 he was classified as a genius but it didn't take a genius to know he was different, so he suppressed it, and never told anyone that he knew…but Atlantis did.
Seven years later, he was in university. He couldn't decide what to do. Everyone though thought he wanted to do maths or basic physics but what he really wanted to do was wander the stars. Something was compelling him to do that. He remembered when he was 10 and when he did the impossible. He decided to compromise with everyone and his heart, he went into astrophysics. No one was any wiser…but Atlantis was.
While in university he found he liked men better than women. He liked both but at times he was immediately drawn to certain men. He was a genius, he had an attitude, he had a gift, but being bi would have been too much for his "friends" to handle. So he hid it from most people, and no one was any wiser…but Atlantis was.
As he finished University, he was hired by the United States Government and more secrets were kept. He was put away into an office in Area 51; an area no one was to know existed. He was assigned to work on a project that he could never imagine but when asked where he worked by people he could never say. So he started to lie and the lies started to fall seamlessly from his lips, and no one was any wiser…but Atlantis was.
Finally he was called to look at the thing he had studied for years. He walked into the mountain with the air of an expert. His awe for the structure in front of him was carefully hidden but his eyes betrayed him and his heart felt like he was nearly home. He didn't know why. Before he could figure that out though he had realized that he had failed his primary task. He also realized that he did not understand the Stargate as well as he thought and that reality was different than theory. No one thought he realized that, but he was a genius and almost nothing eluded him. But he didn't correct anyone, and never told a soul, but Atlantis knew.
He was shipped to Siberia, where once again he was put in an office alone. In Siberia he learned quickly that being different was bad. He was no novice to abuse, verbal or physical, but this could be considered cruel and unusual punishment. He was given tasks to learn what things do, to give his mind menial tasks which he must complete. The cold did nothing to speed up his work. Neither did the broken fingers, broken toes, broken ribs or black eyes but he got it done and hid the pain. And when an object came into his grasp and lit up at the slightest thought he suppressed it, because being different was bad and he was hurt enough as it is. He hid all this from everyone, but Atlantis knew and wept for him when she learned.
Once again he was called forth to help out with the Stargate. He still didn't know why. He screwed up the last time, that he knew, why would they give him a second chance. But he took it with all the hope he had left, because this could be his life line to get out of the hole he was in, but once again it went wrong. Everything went wrong for him. It was only thanks to another man that he was able to see what needed to be done. This time though he was giving a parting, a tiny bit of hope to hold on to, but then he was shipped back, back to the pain and back to the humility that he was shown in Siberia. This was a place he had no respect, but this time he had hope and he hang on to that by burring it deep inside of him and Atlantis saw what he did and silently rejoiced at what she saw.
After the pain of Siberia, he was sent to Antarctica. It was pleasantly warm compared to Siberia but he still kept his guards up. Any sort of trust he held for people was gone and it would take a lot for him to gain it back again. In the confines of his own workspace things lit up around him with a simple touch of his mind but he only did this when someone with an ATA gene was around. He still didn't want to seem different even though it was obvious that was ok here. His gift which would have been praised was hidden, and Atlantis still wept for her charge and beloved.
Then John Sheppard walked into his life and his delusions of hiding his gift were shattered. All it took was one view of those stars that he wanted to wander for so long and the feeling of going home had come back to him. He knew now for a fact that it was okay to be different and let his genius roam free for moments at a time proving to everyone that he was as smart as he said he was. Now though a new element was being added…friendship, and he can remember the last time he had friends and the pain he went through when they left him. So he hid his emotions away in his mind and pretended he didn't care, but Atlantis knew the truth.
As he stood before the Stargate, before his trip to Atlantis, the feeling of going home washed over him. He heard each chevron snap into place and a sort of happiness fell over him. The walk through the Stargate was exhilarating and gave him a rush of adrenaline and when he stepped onto Atlantis his senses came alive and he could feel her waking from her deep slumber, lightly prodding at his mind. And as the city rose from its ocean grave, he heard a whisper across his mind "Welcome home my beloved" but he never told anyone he could communicate with a long forgotten city.