He's such an idiot, there's no getting around that.

I spent the last half-hour sitting here and being ignored by my supposed "best friend". Today is a good day to drag my ass to the damn park so you can pretend I don't exist, huh? I bit hard into his sandwich and chewed furiously; it's not like he was going to eat it anyway. All Dearka did was lean against the tree across the green, and flirt with that Miriallia Haww, while I sat here on the bench and watched. I took another bite, and continued to glare at him. What an idiot.

It doesn't bother me that Dearka would occasionally raise his brow to the next pretty thang that happened to walk by, but the way he hovers around that girl just irritates me. For every new hand gesture Dearka made, I could feel my scrunch up more with frustration. How anyone could possibly make himself such a jerk in front of any girl, or anyone for that matter, is completely beyond me.

I threw the last half of his sandwich in the garbage after watching him kiss Haww's hand.

She wasn't really such a bad person, I decided; she spent most of her time hanging around with other people anyway. Fllay Allster, for one. Allster was perhaps one of the more annoying people I've ever come across, but since her father died, I can't say I blame her for being such a snot. Hell, she slapped Athrun in the face once for spilling bleach all over her skirt during chemistry class. That was pretty funny. Athrun deserves a good slap in the face every now and then. He's such a teachers pet, always sucking up to Le Klueze so he can get all A's. Hell, it works. That stupid bastard has everyone wrapped around his finger, except me of course. He'll never get me.

And there goes Dearka again. Now his arm is wrapped around her shoulders. She doesn't look like she's having much fun, perhaps because she's dating what's-his-face, who hangs out with Athrun's friend Yamato. In third grade during a kickball game, Kira kicked a really huge foul, which ended up hitting me in the head while I was on the monkey bars. Needless to say, I plummeted face first to the ground and ended up getting a big, ugly gash across my face because I hit a sharp rock. The scar it left behind scares people.

I still haven't exacted my revenge on him yet, but I've enjoyed making him cry throughout the years, which is a pretty easy thing to do. My fun, however, came to an abrupt end when Lacus Clyne started dating him two years ago. She's my cousin, and she'd blackmail me if I were to ever hurt her precious Kira again. Don't let her innocent looks fool you. There's much more to Lacus than any of you know. She can be damn scary when she's mad.

This is getting tiresome. It's been almost an hour since Dearka dragged me here and he still isn't done talking to Milly. That's just my luck, huh? I have no idea what his idea of friendship is, but this isn't what I had in mind. He gabs on and on with that girl, yet I'm the one whom he's addressed as the "best friend". Bullshit, this is becoming annoying. I'll always be there if you need me, he says. Well, you know what, Dearka? Maybe I need you to leave her alone and pay more attention to me. In case you've forgotten, she is currently seeing someone. Think with the right head next time, if the one on the top even works.

"Milly!" A faint voice from my right calls. You're late, Tolle. After about ten minutes of putting up with Dearka's nonsense with that girl, I took out my cell and called up Allster. She'll do anything for me, if I promise to post embarrassing (or naked) pictures of Kira on the internet, which I'll eventually do, once I have access to a computer with an IP address that Lacus won't recognize. Though annoying, Fllay's the only person I almost get along with who has Tolle's contact info, so it was perfect. I wonder what Kira ever did to her, anyway.

Once he's about ten feet away from me, I stood up and stopped him. He stared at me curiously, and I gave him a sly grin. Time to put this plan into action.

"Nothing personal, but... " I grabbed him and pulled him toward me by the shirt, and jabbed him in the face, hard. Being the weak shit he his, the pitiful guy fell over and stared at me like I was crazy or something.

On queue, Miriallia ran up toward me, and gave me a nice, big slap in the face. Oww... her fingernails scratched me, too. Interesting, the girlfriend's got more balls than the boyfriend? Heh, who knew?

Dearka gave me a bewildered look, but hell, it was a look, wasn't it? Once Milly and Tolle were out of sight, I walked up to the idiot and handed him his empty sandwich bag.

"Thanks for nothing, shithead."

"W-wait, what... ?"

"You know exactly what. And you owe me big time for putting up with it!" I tried to walk away from him, but he continued to follow me. Asshole. It takes you until I get the girl away for you to notice I'm alive.

"Wait up!"

"Screw you!" I glared him down, and he froze. You've got some nerve coming after me all of a sudden, Dearka. I ought to rip out your balls and feed them to you. Lucky for you, I happen to be a nice guy.

"Look man, I'm sorry." As if apologizing is enough to amend yourself. This isn't the first time you've done this to me. You've ignored me to talk to Athrun, Nicol, and quite a few other people. You like to flirt with girls. You like to chatter with other people, as if I don't count. I thought I was you're best friend, numbskull. You just happen to be mine, you know.

Geez, since when was I a forgiving person. Something about you, Dearka, there's just something about you. I shrugged the little mishap off and decided to let him buy me ice cream, which he did. He is an easy person to forgive, I suppose. He just makes stupid mistakes, really stupid mistakes, but at least he makes up for them. I made sure to order the most expensive flavor, too, just to spite him.

"So, you got my attention, and I spent the rest of my allowance on you. Is there anything else you want?"

I snorted. "For you to kiss my ass."

"Literally?" he gave me a dumbfounded look, a little i too /i dumbfounded for him. I could tell he was only faking it, but still, he could be damn convincing when he tried hard enough.

"Yes, literally." I jabbed my ice cream in his face, and watched the white essence drip down his nose. It's a good thing he didn't have a mirror; he wouldv'e probably made an idiotic joke about it.

He ran his finger down the bridge of his nose and slowly ran his tongue over his finger, and stared at me suggestively. That guy will hit on anything that moves; I guess I'd better get used to it.

"I'll kiss it later." He winked at me. My face got really hot, and my stomach cramped into a knot. Damn you, Dearka. Why do you have to be such a damn pervert? "By the way, Milly wants to know how you keep your hair so straight."

So they were actually talking about me. Who knew? "It's natural," I responded, as a gulped down the last bit of ice cream.

"Why were you all over her?" I finally asked, and waited for whatever stupid excuse he came up with. He probably had a crush on her, or something. Somehow, I didn't think that was the case. Dearka's not stupid enough to fall for taken people, though he is close.

"Just to see what you would do." He put his hand on top of mine and I flinched. The fucker was trying to make me jealous, and it worked. I got conned by a complete moron. That just makes me an even bigger moron. Man, this really sucks.

And his hand is too warm.

"Come to my place later?" As if he really had to ask. I would've a least came to dump a pile of animal droppings on his front porch anyway, but I guess enjoying his company is the next best thing. Hell, it makes up for being ignored, or rather, being conned by him. Dearka... I'm going to rough you up good when I get there.

"It's a date."

End