WAS IT A DREAM?
By: melodicAngel016
A/N: The italicized words are the flashback from Natsume's point of view.
How could I do it to the person I love the most? How could I be angry at her? How could I not forgive her for the things she had done? And again, how could I have the urge to do it to her?
I'm such an irrational man. She's the only person I value the most yet I destroyed her, the more I have destroyed myself. Now, I have hated myself even more that I wanted to take her place…
The day we married each other, was the day I vowed that I will take care of her. I vowed that I will be her source of comfort, and I vowed that I will be forever and always be with her in sorrow, agony, pain and laughter, happiness, and lastly, in death.
She's my sunshine, the morning glory of my life. She's my star, the star of my life. She's mine, I'm hers. Her smile was my warmth. Her eyes were my glam. She's an angel that came to my damned out life. Without her, I will be lifeless.
I will be dead.
But why did it even end up like this? I knew what I did was wrong.
Mistaken…
Unforgivable…
"Natsume," she called me with her heart whelming smile. "I love you." She said sweetly. I couldn't help but smile back at her. I wrapped my arms around her and planted a kiss on her forehead.
"I love you too," I stated. She hugged me back. Her scent is really addicting, tangerines with mixture of strawberries. "Sweet…"
I regret what I have done to her. Her dreams faded away the time I have destroyed her. But why did I destroy her in the first place?
She was at the terrace, standing there while the soft wind brushing her long curly hair. It was night time already, but she's still there. Her back was facing me.
"Mikan," I called as I circled my arms around her waist. "Why are you awake?" I asked as I buried my head on her shoulder.
She moved her head to see me. "Nothing. I just couldn't believe that this is all happening, I mean, you and I are already married and all. This is like a dream… Come true."
I nibbled the back of her ears. "This was really a dream come true. Anyway," I paused. "Are you still wearing the polka dotted underwear?"
Mikan's face became red. I smirked. "Pervert!" She exclaimed as she tried to let go of my hold. But I didn't mind her escape. My grip only tightened as I continued smelling her sweet scent.
"Natsume,"
"Hm."
"What are you're dreams?"
"Tell me yours first."
"I want to be a fashion designer." She uttered. "I have different designs in mind lately so; I hope that day will come." She smiled.
"I'll help you with that. I'll put up a shop for you."
She turned to me, her smile grew even brighter smile was shining amidst the gloomy atmosphere. "Really?" I nodded and she hugged me tight. "Thank you Natsume, I love you!"
She kissed me.
She was the first girl that I have ever laid eyes on. I trusted her, I really do. But consequences managed to be given to us.
I remembered it still quite well. The day that I have destroyed her was the time I have cursed myself to death; a merciless one.
She…
Died…
And I was the cause of it all.
I was.
Tired, I drove my way back home from work. Without any breaks, I felt that my body shrieked and it was screaming from pain. The last thing I wanted to see was my wife's smile, her bright smile that can blow away my fatigue.
My car turned left, but someone got my attention. Two someone that is. Firstly, it's my wife, Mikan Hyuuga, Second, the bastard that I never wanted to see in my life; Tsubasa Andou. They're at the coffee shop, chatting and smiling like Mikan didn't have me as her husband.
Like, what the hell is the meaning of this? My car slowed down so I can gain a better view of the two. My eyes couldn't deceive me. It's them.
I saw them stood up. Andou accompanied her out and I was even surprised to what he did. He kissed her. Even though it was her cheek that he kissed, it was still damn annoying!
I could only do that to her. I have already promised myself that I will not be jealous again, but that time, I really feel like punching him straight on the face. That damned man… He definitely crossed the line.
My anger was up. I have disregarded the pain that my body felt. All I know is that my wife is cheating on me.
I waited her to get to the cab. She didn't saw me, or even notice that I was even there. After the cab went away, it took me a lot of time to restrain myself.
I went home afterwards.
My head was bowed, but I knew I was angry and furious. I slammed the door behind me. Mikan came in view. She had a smile on her face.
"Welcome home, hon." She greeted me but I just ignored it. I walked past through her.
"Natsume, I have good news for you."
I didn't answer.
"Natsume, is something wrong?" She asked.
"There is." I was direct to the point. "So get you're damned ass off this house right now." I looked at her, I gave her a deathly glare and I saw her shivered, hands on her chest.
"Natsum-"
"I said GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE!" I yelled at her. She was surprised to what I said. That's when I saw a droplet of tear rolled down her cheek. I covered my eyes with my hair. Hell, I made her cry again.
I felt her stepped closer to me. She put a hand on my shoulder but I jerked it away. "Natsume… Please,"
"Don't you ever dare to touch me again." I stated coldly. That made her cried out even more.
"Natsume," she managed to say in between sobs. "I-if I have done so-something that made you like this…" She paused. Damn, it's hard hearing her cry. "I… I'm sorry."
With that, she left. Her footsteps say it all that she was running out. I heard the door open and banged shut again.
I was out of control that time, totally. I'm a bad guy to her. I don't deserve her. She's too good to be true. I didn't even manage to hear her out. But my emotions got me that time and due to my tiredness I was feeling. I feel like a damned man.
But I didn't mean it.
I didn't mean to hurt her.
It has been days since I knew nothing from Mikan. Not even a communication brought us again. She didn't even show up at my house… Our house. She's really that afraid of me.
It was my fault having too much pride.
I should have just said sorry to her.
I should have just heard her reason out.
It was a rainy afternoon. Even so slippery for me to drive home. But I wanted to be home, hoping that my beloved has come back. I did that every day, but to disappointment, the house was clean…
And silent…
So lifeless…
Uncoloured…
And days were always like that.
I was again on my way home from Fukushima. The company have got there to offer charity to the careless.
But I came to a halt. I saw a jewellery shop.
I have stopped there. Something had grabbed my attention. I saw a silver heart necklace with a red stone between it. I knew that she will love it. She grew obsessed with the crimson colour objects because she told me she remembered my eyes. I smiled inwardly and bought it.
Hoping that she will be back again.
Please let it happen.
Then a thunder was heard. It will gonna be a long rainy way home.
Tokyo.
It's good to be back although it was raining pretty hard.
I was busy driving, but my eyes looked to a tree. There to my surprise, I saw a girl standing there with an arm at the trunk.
Mikan.
I was surprised to see her there. She's soaking wet. She had no umbrella with her. I felt guilty. I parked my car to a vacant lot and went out of it without any other thoughts. I let the hard rain pour over me also. I don't care.
If she gets sick, then I will be too.
"Mikan!" I yelled, due to the heavy rain sound. But she didn't budged. She remained there. I ran but then stopped when I saw her move her shoulders up and down.
Shit.
She got a cold and a cough.
"Mikan." I said, this time softer. I hugged her from the back and I saw her shrieked. "I'm… sorry."
She continued coughing. Then she turned to look at me, her eyes were swollen. "Sorry too." She smiled, but I knew very well it was a fake.
I hugged her more tightly. But then she coughed again, this time harder and drier. She's also finding it hard to breathe.
"Natsume…" She spoke softly my name. I smiled as I heard her call me again.
But she fainted.
"How's she doc?" I asked worriedly.
He looked at me, as if judging me. "Mr Hyuuga…" He bowed. "Do you know something about her past medical records?" He asked me.
"Yes." I answered. "She has asthma but she's physically fit and totally-"
"Not quite." He cut me off. I looked at him even more. "She has arrhythmia, Mister Hyuuga. And I'm afraid it's malignant now."
I was stunned. I stood there still like a board. "What?"
"Arrhythmia, Mr. Hyuuga." The doctor repeated. "And it's really dangerous especially to her part. She has asthma and there's a major possibility that she will die. Her heartbeat is not even normal and it's slower. Her arrhythmia is a Bradyarrhythmias, meaning her heart beat is usually lower than the normal heart beat per minute." I was still there, standing still as the words of the doctor roam up my mind. I then felt him put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry."
"Doc, please!" I exclaimed and took him by his shoulders. "Let her live, I'm willing to pay no matter what costs me." I continued to shake him off, and then a nurse came to cut me off. I was embarrassingly shaking off the doctor. I can't help it.
I calmed down.
"I'm sorry," the doctor stated in an apologetic manner. "I'm afraid that there's no cure. If her time is up, there's nothing I can do anymore. I'm not a god. I'm only a doctor that can make a patient feel better. And I'm not God that can extend her life more."
I swallowed my throat hard. "How? When?" I asked.
"Probably in her childhood." He checked the paper he's holding. "She has a weak lungs and a weak heart and seeing her with an asthma, makes the situation get worse." Then he left.
But how come I didn't know that she has Arrhythmias since childhood?
It hit me again.
There's a major possibility that she will die.
Die.
Die.
Die.
Her Arrhythmias is malignant…
NO!
I slowly opened the room where Mikan is. She's lying there with so many wires connected to her. I came in closer.
"Mikan," I whispered softly as I held her hand. "I'm sorry…" I blurted out worriedly as I kissed her hand.
I will not make her die. I won't make her die. She will live.
She will live with me.
She twitched her fingers, the one that I was holding. That was a signal that she's still alive and only sleeping.
"Natsume…" She forced a smile. "I have news for you. I was nominated to be the designer of gowns and for formal attire for men." She said in a soft manner, her breathe was still running out.
My hand just squeezed hers. I smiled. "Really?"
She nodded. "There will be a convention and a seminar in Paris, hope you don't mind."
"I don't." I chuckled.
"Well, I have decided to make you as my model for men and Hotaru for the women, but seeing you as busy as always made me change my mind that I decided to get Tsubasa, you know him, right?"
I paused. I was taken aback. Tsubasa? Why?
"Mikan," I whispered. "You should have at least told me. I'm willing to help."
He shook her head gently. "No." She said simply. "I… I will only make it a hindrance for you. I know very much how you loved your work, so…"
"Mikan, look," I started again but she cut me off.
"I talked… to him last, last week and he… agreed." She said, her smile was not yet fading. She even gripped my hold to her. "Natsume, I wanted to surprise the news… for you… but."
"Don't speak now," I put a forefinger to her lips, motioning her to stop talking. "You'll only tire yourself, hon." I smiled.
"But Natsume," She started. I looked at her chocolate orbs, but they were weak. "I think I am not going to make it…" She stated and her breathe became more bumpy.
"No, no." I slapped her cheek lightly. "You're not gonna die. Please, look at me…" I was panicking. I don't know what to do anymore. "Please Mikan, don't leave me here yet." I kneeled down the floor and buried my head at the side of her head.
"Natsume…" She whispered. "Please take care of yourself, for me." I felt her hand moved toward me. "Please look at me, Natsume." She pleaded. I did what he said. I looked at her pale and pained face. But she managed to smile. "Please tell me that you'll take care of yourself, Natsume."
I smiled but I didn't answer. Yet she took that as an answer, I didn't mind.
"I love you, Mikan." I said plainly and kissed her.
The moment I parted from her, she smiled. "I love you too, Natsume."
Little by little, her grip on my hand was loosening. I gripped it tighter. "Mikan…" She didn't respond. She was slowly closing her eyes while I'm becoming queasy by the moment. "Mikan! Don't leave yet!"
She opened her eyes a little and offered me… For the last time… One genuine smile.
But I'm cursing myself. Her grip suddenly became weak until I can't fell her holding my hand anymore. Then the graph for the heart beat suddenly went… Flat.
The beat went flat.
She's dead.
She died.
It's like that time stood still and I can't even move an inch. I fell down my knees heavily. I was hoping that it's only a dream.
A very bad dream.
A tear rolled down from my eyes. I can't believe that she already left me.
So tell me,
Was it a dream?
Was it a dream that I met you, Mikan?
END OF STORY
A/N: It's because of Natsume's little jealousy.
Any how, please leave a review… Tell me what you think, alright?