A rather large sigh followed the squeaking of an old computer chair, was the most common set of noises in Bickslow's small studio apartment. Second most heard, was food being made or coffee being brewed, or groaning accompanied by the cracking of a spine. Least heard though, was the sound of actual typing on a keyboard, despite making most of his money from writing parody news articles online, he found he had an almost constant cockblock for writing. Opting instead to scroll through whatever social media happened to be next in line to be scrolled through. His open tabs in his browser never changed, and he would switch between them every five or so minutes when he'd read all the updates. Always the same sites, one after the other, the same 20 minutes over and over, every day. To spice things up, he'd throw in a little PornHub every few hours, but the kinks never got to him, or he'd seen it already.

He'd been scrolling through one of the sites, when something caught his eye. An article on... online dating? He groaned, but clicked on it anyways. Anything to occupy his time for a few more minutes. Reading through the article he couldn't help but chuckle, he thought it a foolish thing to waste time trying to find someone through the internet. Sure, he'd met a couple good friends, and he kept in contact with them; but he believed finding a significant other was a little far fetched. Though, the article had given him an idea. Most online dating sites were full of people looking simply for a hook up, and what fun would it be to fuck with a few horny girls (and maybe some of the guys for shits and giggles).

So after researching the most popular dating sites he went and signed up for a couple. Twenty minutes in and no one had bothered to talk to him, "send him love" or view his profile even. Grimacing, he thought it was probably a stupid idea anyways, he was confident in himself as a man but didn't think there'd be that many people into him. He scrolled through the online category of persons, eyebrows raising only when a profile picture was of a girl almost completely naked - not because she was hot, he was just blown away by the vanity of some women. Scrolling a bit further, he started to notice that a lot of the more popular and sought after women had really racy profile pictures. He raised an eyebrow to that, and curiosity got to him as he switched his preferences to men and noticed right away the most popular profiles being men with pictures of their abs. Not so much their faces, but abs.

Another 10 minutes, and a lot of bathroom selfies later, Bickslow's inbox was littered with woman asking him for kik or other anonymous messaging apps. He sighed in satisfaction, leaning back in his chair he sipped on the coffee that was still on his desk from this morning (that he'd admittedly forgotten about until moments ago). A smirk on his lips as notifications kept popping up on the screen, and he couldn't help but gloat to himself a little as so much attention was directed at him. Even if it was just because he'd posted a picture of his abs and the girls probably just wanted to get a quick fuck and go on their merry way.

His phone (which he'd forgotten existed for a moment) buzzed on the table beside him, startling him out of his trance. Grabbing it, he'd received a text from Freed, telling him to get outside for once. He peeked out the curtain of the window by his computer desk, indeed it was a nice day. The sun was out, people crowded the sidewalks down below. I'm sick. He texted his friend back. Which was a blatant lie, and Freed probably knew it but he wouldn't push him. He turned back to the computer, and decided he had spent enough time admiring the notifications and he should probably start responding to people. Girls. Women. Whoever. He'd fuck with anyone if it gave him entertainment. In elementary school he stuck a whoopee cushion on the chair of the teacher, and then the biggest bully in their grade. The teacher merely shook off the prank, but getting the shit kicked out of him was how he'd met Laxus Dreyar. Somehow, he'd managed to become friends with the guy afterwards, and they still hung out sometimes when Laxus wasn't busy shadowing his grandfather and learning the ropes of the company his family owned. He'd probably text Freed tomorrow, Laxus as well, and see if they'd be down to go to the bar. He'd been cooped up in his apartment for about a week now, and normally he'd be up and jumping out the door to do whatever it was Freed would have suggested but today he wanted to stay glued to his computer screen.

The first girl he decided to message back, had the most Snooki tan he'd seen since Snooki herself. Her eyebrows, admittedly were done quite nicely, he mused about that for a moment before his eyes widened in almost fear at the amount of mascara that caked her eyelashes. "How the fuck do you even hold you eyes open," he muttered to himself, before writing out exactly that and sending it to her. And for the rest of the day, most of the responses he got were bitchy, rude, and some even downright insulting but he couldn't help but laugh. Most of the people just set themselves up for it. Eventually, the notifications stopped coming in fast, and he found himself refreshing the inbox page every 30 seconds to see if there was anything new.

Boredom struck again, and he groaned. Wishing he'd never taken up the idea, and had just gone and done whatever it was Freed wanted to do. Surely it wouldn't have gotten boring this quickly. He went back to scrolling through the online category of girls, deciding maybe he should seek out the fun. That idea was quickly shot down when most of the girls didn't even respond. Glancing at the time in the corner of his screen he cringed, nearly one in the morning. No wonder no one was responding, they were probably sleeping like normal people.

"Why would it say they're online then," he spoke to himself again, a small habit he developed when he spent a lot of time in front of his computer. An app maybe? He picked up his phone and went to the app store, and sure enough, there were probably more online dating apps there than sites he could find on his computer. He downloaded the one for the most popular site he'd used that day, logged in and started scrolling from there. Just the same girls, so he turned off the screen and plugged in his phone, making sure it was set to silent. He honestly would have never thought people would take online dating on the go, normally he only used his phone to snapchat absolutely everything he did when he left his apartment, or just the tons of random things he did in his apartment. Such as: screaming at his cat, screaming at his neighbours for screaming at him about him screaming at his cat, quick videos of him opening the fridge and sighing multiple times in a row; he once tied those weird microfibre cloths to the bottom of his feet and mopped his floor like that, snapchatting the entire event with Lady Gaga blasting in the background.

A yawn was his cue that maybe he should go to bed, so he clicked off his computer screen and attempted to navigate across the floor to his bed in complete darkness. Kicking a few things out of his way as he went before flopping onto his mattress. It was a cooler night in the city, the Fall bringing colder and colder nights as the months dragged on. He'd have to start cranking out humorous articles more frequently if he wanted to heat his apartment this winter. He'd heard Freed and Ever talking about how it was supposed to be colder than normal this year. He reached over the edge of his bed and grabbed his comforter, pulling the edges parallel to his body, he then rolled across his bed, effectively wrapping himself into a Bickslow burrito. Satisfied with his position, feet perfectly covered even, he quickly fell asleep.