Its al little short, but I had it for a long time in my head…enjoy..
The nerdy love experience
Noah started to relax in his seat. The boys were here, his duties and responsibilities were taken of and the atmosphere was good….yeah life was good. He loked around, Mikes glass was empty!
"Oh Mike, you need an refill! Let me get you one, I have some beer in the fridge. Oh,its not even six…mhmm beer? No, I´ll get you a lemonade"
Mike groaned, Finn looked dumbfolded and Sam and Artie just laughed their asses of.
"Guys, whats going on? Are you crazy?" Noah locked confused and sat on his seat. He waited patiently for the boys to stop laughing.
"Puckerman wher e the hell are you?" Artie questioned and shook his head. Puck still didn´t understand what the boys wanted.
"oh man,ok…how can I say this" Finn leaned forward and propped his elbows on his knees.
"You lost your balls..and your intimidating badassness….yeah…you lost the Puck!"
"I did not! Don't talk that way, Finn. That isn't true!" Puck tried to argue.
"No Finn´s right,man! You lost your balls, completely. And you didn't even notice it!" Sam laughed.
"Boys, that's crap. I will never loose my balls! Im the baddest badass in this town! No one can compare to me!"
"We have prove!" Artie stated and put the game of COD on hold.
" Firstly: You took all of your exams this Year"
" Yeah, i did that" Puck argued. " My girlfriend is very hormic and I want to keep up with that!"
Finn turned to Artie and whisperd " What does that mean? Something with homophobic? I hope not, Rachels dads are gay!"
"Finn you are so dumb. I know Rachels Dad for a very long time and I respect them and their love. Men in love are not really my thing, but as long as they make Rach happy, everything is ok." Puck stage-whispered back.
"Secondly" Sam went on" You keep the drinks coming all afternoon like a good housewife…that's not a bad thing but you denied us beer!YOU! The old puck would have bought a keg and would have told us to fuck off, when we would have asked for a butler-service!"
"Hey, that's not fair. I was rude for a long time. Now ma and Rach got some sense into me and you are complaining?"
"Thirdly….why are you wearing these emoglasses?Since when do you even need glasses?" Mike asked.
"It's a fashion statement" Puck mumbelt. And with that, Finn fell from his seat.
"Oh my god…a fashion statement….pucktina…whats wrong with you" Finn got a hiccup from laughing so hard.
"Hey…at least Im not looking like a Canadian everytime I walking around!" Said Puck and kicked him in his ribs.
"And the last one and biggest prove of you loosing your balls…drumroll please" the quys started to knock on puckermanns living room table while puck was fuming. "You speak in complete sentence, don't curse anymore and sounds rather posh: It was so funny to hear you like this. You are like a Rachel-Clone. A year ago you never used complete sentences except when you spoke like Yoda!"With that, Artie pushed Puck over the edge.
" Is the disparity between myself a year ago and myself now really that prominent? OH I sound like Rachel! Shit,what happened. I have to get my balls back! Damn, how could I not recognize that?" Puck whined.
"I really don't think that Rachel has your balls" Finn expressed. "I think she got her own pair"
"How do you mean that, Finessa"Puck looked confused. "the last time I was down there, I was very much alone in paradies.."
Sam looked at Puck and nodded with a big smile."It felt good to say that, huh?"
"Rachels more feisty" Finn continued." She got into two catfights this schoolyear, she doesn't take the crap, jewfro gaves her and the cookies she bakes are full of chocolate and sugar!"
"She even dryhumped you on the last glee assignment! And is besties with Santana!"
"Yeah puck,you are lucky!" Sam grinned. "you´ll get a threesome in no time"
Pucks mouth fell open and then he started to hit himself in the face. "what was wrong with my. Im going to kill myself!"
The guys looked inquiring.
"Two weeks ago, Rachel and I were studying Spanish..you know our special kind of studying, the one with stripping…my girl was down to her bra and panties, I still had my jeans on…and then her phone is ringing and apparently Santana stands in front of the door to "help" studying. I had my clothes on in ten seconds and wondered why Rachel looked so sad on her knees in front of me…. "Puck was really desperate now and the Boys showed even some mercy.
"I think its time to show Rachel that you are back and burnted your dress and high heels together with your quite manner!"
Puck took out his cellphone and searched for ´FUTURE STAR´in it. When he read the name, something poked in his belly. Okay that would have to change…..HOTTEST F*** EVER…..yeah that's better…..then he started to wrote his message:
Babe…found my balls and want to use them…NOW…be here before 8 or ill hunt you down!And don't wear to much clothes….if Santana wants to join,she can come by too..
Puck hit send and smiled."Guys, im officially the man in this relationship"
Rachels phone beeped on her nightstands. San, Kurt and Brit were gathered in her room to talk the latest gossip.
"I swear, you HAVE TO see Sam naked. You miss one fine piece off ass! He is soo DELICIOUS and after the last weekend Im ruined for all men and women on this planet" San gushed.
The girls (and Kurt) laughed about that…Santana and one man? Sure Thing.
Rachel went over to her cellphone and opened the message.
"OMG, you have to hear that! Babe…found my balls and want to use them…NOW…be here before 8 or ill hunt you down!And don't wear to much clothes….if Santana wants to join,she can come by too.. Im glad, Noah is finally his old self!" Rachel sighded.
"Yeah, I was really shocked, when he didn't realize, that you wanted a threesome with him and Santana! For a short time I thought he would become gay…a dream come true" Kurt smiled dreamily.
"oh get your fingers of my man!He´s mine to fuck and to love and that won´t change even if he behaves like a pussy sometimes!" Rachel expressed.
"when are you going to marry puck?" Brittany asked in a total Brittany-liked fashion.
"Huh?" Three heads turned to Brittany. "Its like roles revearsed! You act like Puck everyday so you have to marry! And Lord Tubbington can be your ringbearer!"
Everyone smiled about Brits sweetness and Rachel texted a short message for Puck
COME L8! WTHOUT SATAN has the hots for pouty mouth!BT WE HVE FUN 2GETHR LOVE YA