"The best way to lie is to tell the truth…the carefully edited truth."
-Anonymous
Midnight, October 12th, 1978
James Potter and Sirius Black crept through the pitch black hallways of Hogwarts Castle. They hid themselves under James' invisibility cloak and tried their best not to make a sound. The last thing they wanted was to alert Peeves of their location. The success of their plan was dependant on their ability to be stealthy.
The stairs that led to the potion's dungeon loomed at the opposite end of the corridor. James let out a sigh of relief. Their objective was in sight. All that was left was to open the door without letting it creak.
The two boys filed down the stairs, but Sirius paused in the middle. Turning back, he pointed his wand in the direction they had just come from and whispered "Muffliato."
James was already waiting at the bottom. He had his wand poised and ready to unlock the door that stood before them. "Alohamora," he said expecting to hear a loud pop. After a minute it became clear that nothing was going to happen. "Bollocks. Looks like old Slughorn put anti-lock charms on it after our last prank."
"As if something as mundane as an anti-lock charm could stop the two of us," Sirius replied. A devious smile was plastered across his face as he held out two hair pins. "Knicked these from Marlene. Better to be prepared for all possibilities."
In a little over a minute, Sirius had unlocked the lock and the two boys were into the empty dungeon. Across the room were the potions simmering away for the N.E.W.T. level students. They could just make out the steam rising in shimmering waves from each cauldron.
With a flick of the wrist, James had the room filled with light. "Alright, mate. Which one was Snivellus' cauldron?"
Sirius studied the different cauldrons trying to find something that would distinguish one from the other. "I think it's that one over there. I'm pretty certain that I remember his cauldron having a bronze bottom. Something about it conducting heat more evenly or some nonsense."
"Are you sure? I don't want to accidentally destroy Lily's potion."
A bark like laugh escaped Sirius' throat. "That would be pretty awkward. Probably make her hate you more than she already does.
James looked wounded. "Alright. Alright. Do you have the vial?"
"Nope. Left it up in the common room. Just thought we'd go through all of this hassle just for fun," Sirius retorted with a smirk even though he was already withdrawing it from his pocket.
"Arse," murmured James as he fumbled with the heavy cauldron. "Pour it in carefully."
With a quick tug, Sirius had removed the stopper from the vial and was emptying its contents into the potion brewing before him. The potion hissed as the two liquids mixed and an ominous cloud of green smoke floated up into the air.
"Do you suppose Snivellus will realize someone's messed with his potion?"
Sirius shot James a malevolent grin. "You mean before or after it blows up in his face?"
"Before, I suppose. Wouldn't want him to suspect that anything's wrong until he adds the acromantula venom."
12:32, October 12th, 1987
James and Sirius wandered down the stairs toward the Great Hall. Herbology had been rough and wrestling the Venomous Tentacula had left both boys famished. The smell of shepherd's pie wafting through the corridors had done nothing to help.
As they reached the Gryffindor table, James stomach growled loudly as he looked at the spread before him. Not only was there shepherd's pie. There were also bowls of buttered peas and steamed carrots, steaming hot bread rolls, and tureens of dark, rich gravy. He didn't know if he could wait a moment longer to dive in.
Just as James was about to sit down, a loud voice cut across the noise of the dining hall.
"James Potter!" shrieked a clearly furious Lily Evans.
Sirius shot him a sympathetic look. "Seems like our prank must've worked, unless you've done something else to piss Evans off recently."
Gulping, James turned to face the fiery red head. The sight of her made nerves flutter up into his chest and stomach. Suddenly, his heart was beating a hundred times per second and he was trying his best to keep his hands from shaking.
"How can I help you, Lily?" he asked, trying his best to sound casual.
This tactic only seemed to further enrage Lily. He cowered as she drew herself up to her full height. "Don't you dare play dumb with me. I know you sabotaged Snape's potion!"
"Do you have any proof, Evans?" Sirius interrupted. He laughed loudly as her expression faltered.
"Well, no, but I know it was the two of you. It's always the two of you," she said.
James and Sirius exchanged bemused looks. "Gee, Evans. You seem to think about me an awful lot. Funny, since you're always rejecting my invitations for a date."
"Potter! This isn't funny. Did you even give a thought to how dangerous a stunt like that could be? Several students were showered with concentrated, unfinished veritaserum and are now in the hospital wing covered in boils!" Lily continued on.
"If I had tampered with the potion, then sure, I would've given it some thought, but I didn't do anything to it. Now, Evans, as much as I'm enjoying this lovely conversation, I really must be on my way to my next class, but I'm glad to know that I'm on your mind." James returned with a cheeky grin.
The two boys turned their backs to Lily, who was now fuming and beet red. As they walked away, words like "arrogant toe rag" and "immature" filled the air.
Once out of earshot, Sirius turned to James with a look of admiration and confusion. "Oi Prongs. Did you just lie to Evans? I think that's a first."
"No. Not exactly. She asked if I tampered with the potion and I said no, which is technically true. You were the one that poured the doxy milk into it, remember?"
Sirius beamed at James. It was clear that he was impressed. "You amaze me sometimes. Now, I suppose we really should head off to Charms before old Flitwick decides to give us a detention."
Hi there!
This story was originally posted on HPFF for the Marauder + Quote Challenge where it won 2nd place! The Marauder I was assigned was James and the quote I was given is an anonymous quote and appears at the top of this story. Immediately, upon reading the quote I knew I had to write a story where James and Sirius were off getting into trouble because I feel like that's what the two of them do best!
I hope you've enjoyed my little crack at humor here and if you have some free time, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. Don't be shy about using the little gray box below!
Thanks as always for reading!
~Kaitlin/TreacleTart