Sign the Accord. The Avengers must stand together.- NF
Natasha frowned as she read the little note. she had found it on her coffee table the day of the General's visit. That day he shook their very world with his pronouncement of what amounts mostly to blame.
She winced, not wanting to relive that day. Or the day after that. Or the one after that. Definitely not the day at the airport.
It has all gone to hell so quickly and so thoroughly. Had she ever entertained the idea of taking a different step than the one she did? Even had she not received the what pretty much amount to a directive from Nick Fury, a man whose shrewdness and insight she valued above all? Well,maybe not all. There was one other whose opinion she values maybe as much as -if not more than- Nick Fury's. And it was thoughts of Steve Rogers that usually prod her to second guess her decision to stick by the Accord.
She knew she disappointed him in defending the Sokovia Accords. She could see clearly the hurt in his eyes when she took Stark's side on that fateful day. Not to her surprise,it was not an easy thing for her to maintain her position, knowing what it's doing to him. Over the time since the fall of Shields to the catastrophy in Sokovia,she has formed a bond with Steve. One that went so far beyond the bond of friendship. One that, had she been born a different person, in a different time, she probably would not have hesitated to put a name on.
But she was never the type to wallow in what ifs. Or if she had,it has long been beaten out of her by the Red Room. In fact, had she been someone different, the decision would have been alot easier to make and stick to. Had she been anyone other than the Black Widow, she would have proudly stood next to Steve Rogers and weather the repercussions together as the allies they have always been.
But there was just too much red in her ledger. Too many lives snuffed by her effectively lethal hands. It matters little that none of what she had done in her dark past had been of her own choice. There was still so much to make up for. And even if their intentions had been unquestionably in the service of others in Sokovia, it does not change the fact that once again her actions led to loss of lives. Families broken.
She sighed. So no matter how badly her heart aches to stand by him, as they have stood by each other for so long and so strongly in the past, her choice has been sealed. It was accountability that she must fight for. The promise to put the civilians first above all else.
Standing up, she folded the little note and slip it in the backpack that now contains all that she has left. There was nothing more she could do for Steve Rogers. And even though she knows the words Tony threw at her after Rhodey's fall had mostly come from a place of betrayed anger, the truth remains that no matter how strongly she feels about the sanctity of the Sokovia Accords, after what she had done at the airport, the authorities were most likely out hunting for her by now.
She walked out of the dingy motel room she had been forced to spend the night in, zipping up her hoodie. Her unmistakably red hair is now blue black, and she looked more like a college student experimenting with the whole goth subculture than the fiery stone-cold ex-assassin that she is no longer allowed to be.
The Black Widow must disappear. But her mission is not yet over. Her reasons for signing the Accord, she knows inside out. Time now to hunt down the former Director of Shields to find out what his game was.