Title: Ice and Air
Author: clarkoholic
Rating: R
Word Count: 5500
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Nathan; Jack, Nathan, Zoe, Jenna Stark, S.A.R.A.H
Warnings: Slash, Established Relationship, Drama, AU, Future Fic, little bits of teh sex.
Spoilers: 207 "Family Reunion" and 304 "I Do Over." Yes, THAT certain event in "I Do Over" happened but there was no wedding.
Summary: Jack wakes up in the future and finds a familiar face he never thought he'd see again.
***
Jack knows he's not in his own bed. The sheets aren't as soft and he can hear people talking in the distance. Soft beeps and the sterile smell tell him he's in the infirmary. It's a struggle to open his eyes, which means something serious is afoot, but he doesn't feel sick and he's not in any pain. His vision focuses and confirms that he is indeed in the Global Dynamics infirmary, but it's different. Did they redecorate, he wonders wildly. It is arranged differently and all the medical equipment seems to be smaller and wireless.
He notices the figure standing to his left but can't believe what he's seeing.
"Nathan?" his voice cracks, his throat dry. The man beside him, keying information into a padd, looks like Nathan, or a younger version of him, but Jack knows that it can't be true. Nathan –his Nathan, his lover, his life– died months ago.
The green eyes look at him, excited and young. "Nate," he says. "I'm Dr. Nate Parker."
"Oh," Jack deflates. "You look like him," he mumbles quietly.
"Who?" Nate asks with curious eyes.
"Someone I used to know." Jack looks away from the shining green eyes. They remind him too much of the pain he's worked so hard to bury. Jack sits up and rubs the back of his head, "What happened?"
"We cured you," Nate says with excitement.
"What?" Jack asks, confused. "From?"
"You don't remember?" Nate's brow twists in concern. "You were in a deep cryogenic freeze because-" Nate went on to explain but Jack didn't need to hear it. He remembers now.
Six months after Nathan's death, he was caught in a literal mutant tornado that sprung up near the lake; a botany and climate experiment gone horribly wrong. Jack was infected with a new pathogen that was born from the metamorphosis of several toxins within the tornado. No one knew what to do because they had never seen anything like it. Jack's health began deteriorating rapidly so Henry and Allison convinced him to go into a cryogenic chamber until a cure could be found. Neither wanting to lose him as they just lost Nathan.
"Are you okay?" Nate asks after he stops his recap.
"No," Jack says. Physically, he feels fine, like he did before he was infected with the pathogen. Mentally, on the other hand, he's freaking out because he should be waking up to find Allison and Henry, and just how long has he been in cryo anyway? "Where's Allison?"
"Allison … ?"
"Blake," Jack sighs. "Dr. Allison Blake. You know, the Director of GD."
"Grandma?" Nate says, looking as confused as Jack felt.
"What?" Jack squeaks. This kid may look like Nathan Stark but he definitely wasn't as quick. "Whose Grandma?"
"My Grandma's name is Allison Blake." Jack's eyes went wide. Either he was dreaming or this kid was messing with him.
Someone clears their throat at the door, inerrupting them. A woman walks in, wearing a sleek business suit and looking like she owns the place. "Nate honey, why don't you let me speak with Mr. Carter?" She's beautiful, in her forties, maybe fifties, but at least looks like she knows what the hell she's doing. Jack's relieved but also a little terrified because she's not Allison, and Allison should be the one looking like she owns the place.
Nate nods to her and leaves them alone. "Mr. Carter," she smiles and Jack recognizes it. She looks like Allison. And Nathan. Wasn't Allison pregnant when he went into cryo? Shit. "We're so happy to have you back. How are you feeling?"
"Confused," Jack says. "Who are you?" he asks, already knowing he's not going to like what he hears.
"My name is Dr. Jenna Stark. I'm the Director of Global Dynamics."
Shit. This cannot be happening. "What's the date?"
Her smile is gone, like she knows his world is going to come crashing down. "June 20th, 2056. You've been in cryogenic stasis for forty-seven years. I'm sorry."
***
A day, sedative, and meal later, Jack could finally think again. Apparently he's been an ice cube for nearly fifty years and now his world is not the same. At least he has his health now, he thought vaguely, knowing it didn't mean a damn thing because everyone and everything he knew is gone.
Dr. Stark –No. Jenna. He'll call her Jenna– explains that for the last forty-fucking-seven years, GD's been working to find a cure for the specific pathogen that put him in cryo but were unsuccessful until recently. She also tells him that cryo technology had improved greatly, meaning he wasn't going to experience rapid cell degeneration or accelerated aging, like Fargo's Grandfather, Pierre, had all those years ago. Or like Mel Gibson in Forever Young, he thought with a grin.
"What am I supposed to do now?" he asks her, sitting in the familiar but so very different office of the Director.
"Whatever you'd like to do," she replies. She's full of confidence and has that same demeanor required of all GD Directors. The 'nothing can faze me' attitude that everyone in Eureka eventually develops whether they like it or not.
Jack sees she's a brilliant woman; so very much the daughter of Nathan Stark and Allison Blake. It hurt to see her, too; the product of he and Nathan's biggest fight. Jack found out after Nathan's death but he was too stricken with grief to bring himself to care or be angry.
"I want to see Zoe," he says. Oh God, Zoe. She'd be sixty-five years old now. Jack feels sick just thinking about it.
"She's on her way."
Jenna gave him the cliff notes of Zoe's life without him. She earned her Masters and Doctorate from Harvard School of Public Health in Epidemiology in an effort to help cure and revive Jack from cryo. She returned Eureka for work, and to be near him. She married Lucas and had three children.
Fuck, he's a Grandpa now.
He's missed so much.
"Jack," she says and if he didn't know better, he would think it was Allison calling his name. "I'm sure you'll want to spend as much time with your family as possible but when and if you'd like, there's someone I'd like you to meet."
"Who?"
"The person responsible for discovering your cure and bringing you back."
"I thought Zoe and Nate…" Jack trails off, thinking.
"We certainly wouldn't have been able to find a cure without them but we've been at an impasse until this scientist was able to assist our efforts."
Jack's not sure who she's talking about. "Ok," he says because he's not going to deny his former lover's daughter, even if she's older than him now.
"Wonderful," she smiles. "Also, should you decide to stay in Eureka, your old bunker is still available."
Jack's head perks up, "Really?"
"Yes. Mrs. Carter," Jack smiles because Zoe kept her last name, "lived there for many years but it has remained empty for quite some time."
"Is S.A.R.A.H still there?"
"Oh," Jenna raises an eyebrow, "she's around."
Jack's unsettled by her grin because it's the same 'I'm fucking with you' grin Nathan used all the time.
***
His palms are sweaty as he reaches for the door. Zoe's inside, waiting for him; she's been waiting so long. Jenna offered to show him recent pictures but he declined, wanting to see his little girl in person for the first time, again.
She's standing in the corner of the room, ringing her hands like she does when she's nervous. She's taller but not by much, still thin, and her hair is twisted up, still bright blonde but with a hint of white. Jack thinks she's just as beautiful as the day she was born.
He steps into the room and stops, letting the door close behind him. Her attention snaps over to him, her eyes are rimmed red like they do when she's upset or crying. "Hey Zo," he says.
"Oh my God, Dad," She cries, walking over to him. She hugs him tight, not bothering to contain her tears.
Jack just holds her and tries not to think about how much of her life he's missed. "It's okay, honey. I'm back."
"I've missed you so much," she sniffs, wiping her tears away.
"Me too, kid," he says, realizing the irony of calling his now older, by forty-seven years, daughter 'kid.' It's odd because he feels like he just saw her a few days ago, saying goodbye and telling her he would be out of the icebox in no time flat.
"I'm so sorry," she says.
"No hey, don't be sorry."
"But-"
"No, listen to me Zo, you couldn't have done anything."
"Yes I could have," She says adamantly. "I'm an epidemiologist. I should have been able to help you years ago. I studied epidemiology so I could help you."
Jack's amazed and humbled that Zoe would do such a thing for him. He can't imagine what she's gone through over the years without him. "That doesn't matter now." He doesn't know how to thank her. "I love you, Zo."
"I love you too." She smiles sweetly, her eyes still sparkling with tears. "I can't believe you're finally here."
"You're telling me," Jack grins.
She laughs, "God, you're so young! This is so strange."
"Yeah well, I've always looked younger than I am," he laughs. "Technically, I'm in my eighties."
"You're lucky we discovered how to stop aging after cryo years ago," she jokes. "Or you'd be an old fart like the rest of us."
Jack's smile fades, not wanting to think about how old she is now. "So you probably know the scientist that helped to cure me?" he asks, changing the subject, kind of.
Zoe nods but there's a twinkle in her eye. "I do," she says succinctly.
"Who is it? What's with all the mystery?"
"Well, I don't want to ruin the surprise so you'll just have to go with Jenna to find out."
A knock at the door stops Jack's protests. "Oh!" Zoe exclaims. "There's someone who wants to see you." She walks to the door and leans out for a moment. Jack's intrigued, wondering if this is the mysterious scientist.
"Dad," Zoe says, "This is my assistant, Sarah."
A young, twenty-something blonde woman, looking strangely familiar, walks in behind Zoe. "Sheriff Carter!" she exclaims. "It's so good to see you again!"
Jack's confused, his eyebrows drawn together. Her voice is familiar too. He quirks his head, looking at the woman closer and realizes she looks like Sarah Michelle Gellar, then it hits him. His eyes go wide and his mouth drops. "S.A.R.A.H?!"
"It's me!" Sarah beams. "I've missed you, Jack."
Jack's a little afraid as she comes at him for a hug but he goes with it. She doesn't feel like a robot, or a house for that matter, and he's just not sure what to think.
"Manners, Dad," Zoe teases. He shuts his mouth. Right. No gawking at the robot/house girl.
"How? What? Huh?" he fumbles.
"Dr. Fargo gave me a body."
"Naturally," Jack replies with a nod of his head.
"Doug is the head of Fargo Industries," Zoe says. "He's the world's supplier of robotics and artificial intelligence."
"Fargo?" Jack muses, impressed. "The world, huh? Wow."
"A lot has changed," Zoe says, looking solemn.
"Yeah." Jack's beginning to think he doesn't know the half of it. He's not sure he can handle everything that's being thrown at him.
He spends the next few days with Zoe, Lucas, and their kids. Which, yes, it's weird. Zoe gives him a brief update on everyone from his –past– life. Jo took over as Sheriff when he 'left' and remained so for decades until retirement. She and Zane are currently in the on-again portion of their still on-again, off-again relationship. Zane's the Director of Research but mostly in title only, as he's in his seventies now.
Henry, Allison and Abby are dead. It's harder for Jack to hear than he thought. When he woke up and accepted his new surroundings, he expected that some people from his life wouldn't be alive, but they were still young and very much alive in his memories. Aside from Nathan, they're the three most important and influential people in his life. When he lost Nathan it felt like his world was ending but this, now, felt worse.
Now he had no one. His daughter is older than him and he would lose her too, eventually.
***
He grants Jenna's request to meet with the person responsible for curing him. She picks him up in a regular, albeit modern, SUV and Jack's a little disappointed, expecting the future to at least have hover cars.
She drives him out of town toward the lake. She turns off the main road, down an almost hidden drive that's surrounded by trees. They park next to a sleek black Beamer and Jack looks out at the secluded house. It's a small cottage nestled by large pines. It's beautiful, Jack thinks, and he wonders who lives in it.
He looks back to see Jenna smiling at him. "What are you smirking about?" he asks.
"Nothing," she says, trying to cover her smile.
"Alright, who is this mystery person?"
"Just get out of the car."
"Ok, ok." Jack mumbles, "So pushy."
He shuts the door and sees a reflection in the window that halts him.
"Hey Carter," a voice calls from behind him.
The voice matches the reflection but it can't be real. His heart's pounding. He slowly turns to see Nathan –his Nathan– standing on the porch of the cottage. He looks the same as he did the day he disappeared into dust.
Jack gapes at him, terrified. He doesn't believe it. "This can't be real," he says quietly. He can't have woken up forty-seven years in the future and find his dead boyfriend standing in front of him with that same cocky smirk.
"It's real. I'm real." Nathan says, walking down the steps toward them. He approaches Jenna first and gives her a hug.
"I'll let you have some time alone," Jenna says. "Bye Dad."
"Bye baby," Nathan says, smiling.
Jack watches her leave; his mind is screaming at him to go with her because this is fucked up and cannot be real, but he just stands there, horror-struck. Nathan turns to him and Jack steps back.
"I'm still real," Nathan says.
"No, you're not." He feels like he's living his worst nightmare and deepest desire at the same time. "You're dead."
Nathan laughs, "Come on now, Sheriff. Do I look dead?"
"Is this some kind of joke?" Jack demands angrily. Nathan's expression changes, his smile gone.
"Jack, it's really me."
Jack shakes his head, "No." This isn't happening. Can't be happening. Shouldn't be happening. Nathan moves toward him but Jack steps farther back and puts his hand up. "Don't come any closer." He tries not to notice the hurt look in the other mans eyes. The eyes that look exactly like Nathan's but can't be because he died a lifetime ago.
"I know you're confused but I can explain." Nathan starts but Jack interrupts him.
"Hell yes I'm confused." Jack throws his hands up and yells, "I'm in the future! A future, by the way, where Fargo's a conglomerate, my house is a Buffy bot and my daughter is older than me. Now this?" his voice dies down to a whisper. He says matter of factly, as if to convince his mind it's the truth, "You're not real. I watched you die."
"I may have been gone but I was never dead."
"What the fuck does that mean?"
"The best way I can explain it is my consciousness was here, in a way, but my body wasn't. I had no form. It's as though I was air," Nathan says in all seriousness.
Jack knows he's sincere and he wants to believe him, more than he's wanted anything in his life. His mind is telling him 'its not possible' but his heart is filled with hope. "You were here this whole time?" The thought of Nathan still around him, near but out of reach, breaks Jack's heart. If only they had tried. They didn't know.
"Yes," Nathan replies, his features suddenly sad.
"How are you here now?"
"Nate, my grandson, was digging through Henry's old files. He had a hunch about what really happened that day and built a particle stabilizer in his garage. It brought me back into the corporeal world."
"That's it? Nate built a thingamajig and poof, you're not dead."
"Basically," Nathan says. "Science is different now. Scientists think differently than we did."
Jack scrubs his face with his hands. "This is insane."
"Yeah, well, this is Eureka." Nathan says. He steps closer, "Will you come inside with me?"
Jack nods, wearily, and they walk quietly into the small cottage. They're standing with an ocean of unspoken words between them. Jack has so much he wants to say but he can't think straight. He's still not sure this is really happening. Nathan's looking at him and Jack has to look away. The man he loves is back from the dead. It's all too much.
Luckily, Nathan can still read him and sees everything overwhelming him. Before he knows it, Nathan is pulling him into an earth-shattering hug. Jack melts against him, not realizing how much he longed for Nathan's touch until his arms were wrapped around him.
"I've missed you so much," Nathan sighs. "I've waited too long for this. For you."
Jack just breathes him in. He feels like his Nathan and smells like his Nathan but it's surreal because his Nathan shouldn't be here. He shouldn't even be here.
Nathan looks him in the eyes, seeking approval before leaning in to kiss him. It's tender but filled with passion and unfulfilled desire. Jack closes his eyes, relishing in the feeling of Nathan against him again, his beard scratching his chin as they kiss. Their lips part and Nathan rests his forehead on Jack's.
Jack whispers, "I thought I lost you. This is unbelievable."
"I know." Nathan smiles, "But we're both here now."
He smiles, "Couldn't get rid of me that easily."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
Jack places his hand on Nathan's chest. "You're really here," he says, a statement and question.
"Always," Nathan replies.
"Never leave."
"I promise."
Nathan takes his hand and leads him to the bedroom and onto the bed. Jack pushes him down to the mattress and kisses him fiercely. He runs his hands down Nathan's neck and chest, and begins to unbutton his shirt, desperate to feel his skin again. Nathan follows his actions and soon they're wrapped together, naked and kissing and making love and filling the broken parts of their hearts.
***
Jack wakes to a dark bedroom, the early morning moonlight spilling through the shutters covering the windows. It takes him only a millisecond to remember where he is and who he's with. He smiles into his pillow, feeling the warmth of the body beside him, still amazed to be with Nathan again. He props himself up on his elbow to look at Nathan but frowns when he sees Nathan isn't sleeping peacefully. His face is twisted in distress and there's sweat beading on his forehead. He's having a nightmare, Jack thinks.
"Nathan," he whispers, placing his hand on his shoulder and squeezing softly.
Nathan wakes suddenly, jerking away from his touch. He looks disoriented and moves to sit at the edge of the bed. He puts his head in his hands and breathes deep, trying to gain composure.
"Hey," Jack says, moving to comfort him. "Sorry I woke you." He reaches out but Nathan leans away from his hand.
"Don't," he says, his voice is dark and full of sorrow. "Just… don't touch me."
Jack feels a little hurt by the rejection but knows it's not about him, though he's not sure what it is about. He reminds himself that Nathan's been through a lot more than he has over the last few decades. Jack's basically been sleeping comfortably as the years passed but Nathan was alone, watching and waiting for someone to bring him back into the world.
Jack watches helplessly as Nathan gets up and walks into the bathroom; the door shuts but the lights don't come on. Jack's not sure what to do. "Shit," he breathes.
When Nathan doesn't come out right away, Jack decides to get up. He slips on his pants and t-shirt, and quietly leaves the room to explore the cottage. It's cozy with books and old science journals scattered throughout. There are picture frames lining the fireplace mantel. Allison, Kevin, and Jenna. Allison and Nathan. Nathan and Callister. Nathan and Henry. Nathan and Jack. Nathan, Jack, and Zoe. A group shot of he and Nathan with Jo, Zane, Fargo, Henry, and Allison. The photographs look old and damaged, a reminder of the time that's passed.
Jack sits on the sofa and thinks for the first time since he saw Nathan. He's still confused and frustrated yet now he feels a happiness he hasn't felt since it floated away with Nathan in that lab. He's scared it's too good to be true and Nathan will be taken from him again or he will wake up from the most vivid dream he's ever had. With his luck, he's still frozen, hidden away in some dark storage room at GD.
The floor creaks and Jack looks up to find Nathan standing in the doorway, wearing only sweat pants and bed head. He's breathtaking, Jack thinks, but his eyes are sad and tired.
"Sorry about that," Nathan says.
"It's ok," Jack replies, thinking it's stupid for Nathan to apologize at all. "Are you all right?"
"Yes." Nathan walks over and sits next to him. "Just a dream."
"A bad dream?"
"I don't have nightmares, Carter. I'm not twelve," he scoffs, rolling his eyes. Jack smiles, taking it as a good sign that Nathan is mocking him. He misses arguing with the scientist.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks, relieved to be with a familiar face that hasn't aged fifty years.
"No."
"Was it about the time you were… air?" Jack asks, furrowing his brow, not sure what to call Nathan's state over the past years.
Nathan gives him a 'don't push it' look. "I just said I don't want to talk about it."
"Ok," Jack replies. He rubs the back of his head, trying to think of something to say to comfort Nathan when he remembers the reason he was brought out here in the first place. "You're the scientist who cured me, aren't you?" Nathan nods and Jack adds, "Why am I not surprised that GD couldn't solve it without you?"
"I had ulterior motivations," Nathan says, smirking mischievously, his mood seemingly better.
"Oh?" Jack replies, smiling. "Like?"
Nathan's grin turns predatory and he practically pounces on Jack, pushing him down onto the sofa and kissing him intensely. Jack laughs against Nathan's lips and roams his hands over Nathan's chest and back, his warm skin feeling like perfection in the cool morning air. Nathan moves, kissing and nibbling his way down Jack's neck.
Jack groans, his cock already hard against his pants. "God, Nathan." Nathan still knows the little spots that make him crazy. Nathan chuckles into his neck, still kissing and biting. His hands move to unfasten Jack's pants before tugging them down, and he takes Jack's dick in his hand and starts stroking.
Wanting to return the favor, Jack slips his hand under the elastic of Nathan's pants and squeezes his ass before moving around to grab his hard cock. Nathan looks at him, smiling, and kisses him. "Can't… tell you… how much I… missed you," he pants between breaths.
Jack groans in response and increases the speed of his hand but Nathan swats him away. Jack looks at him, confused, before Nathan lowers himself onto Jack, taking both their cocks in his hand.
"Oh God," Jack moans louder, Nathan's strong hand around him sending him into a frenzy. Nathan buries his head into Jack's neck, groaning and licking. Jack's hips buck against Nathan's and then he's coming with a strangled groan that Nathan stifles with his mouth, kissing Jack through his own orgasm.
Nathan continues to kiss him and Jack has to push him back. "Can't… breathe," he says through the kisses.
Nathan stops as recognition hits him and laughs, "Sorry."
Jack smiles, still trying to catch his breath. "Don't ever be sorry for that."
***
Sitting at the table, Jack watches Nathan move around his small kitchen, preparing breakfast on a stove that looks like something from a Jetson's cartoon. He thinks about what life has been like for Nathan over the years, if you could even call it a life. He wants to know everything about everyone. He feels like he's missed out all their lives. They have stories and major life events, and he has nothing. 'What have I been up to these last fifty years?' he thinks to himself, 'Not much. Just chilling.' Jack laughs.
"What's so funny?" Nathan asks.
"Nothing. Just thinking."
"About?"
"Not having any recent experiences."
Nathan's smile fades. "How is that funny?"
"It's not." Jack looks down at the table, knowing it's not funny at all. "I guess I feel like I have nothing to contribute to a conversation."
"You're just now realizing this?" Nathan says with a playful grin.
"Oh ha ha," Jack smiles. "I mean I don't know anything about what's happened in the world, or in politics, or with our culture."
Nathan looks at him for a moment then walks into the other room and comes back with a data padd. He places it on the table in front of Jack. "So you'll learn." He keys information into the tablet and boxes begin to pop up on the screen. "This is a collection of world history for the last fifty years. You can search by categories, dates, cities, or whatever else you might want."
Jack's impressed, "Cool. Did Jenna put this together for you?"
Nathan laughs, "No, it's this handy thing called the Internet. I created a program that pulls together information within the parameters I set."
Jack grins, embarrassed. "Right. Yeah I knew that."
"Please, you don't even know how to check your email. S.A.R.A.H did it for you." Jack opens his mouth to protest but can't think of anything to say because Nathan's right. He's technologically challenged. "Here," Nathan says, keying the pad.
Major League Baseball statistics opened and Jack's face lit up. "Awesome," he says.
Nathan goes back to the stove and he scrolls to 2009, the year he went into the cryo chamber. "How long did it take you to catch up?" Jack asks, not paying attention to the screen.
Nathan pauses, his back to Jack. "Not long. I was still around, sort of, so I picked up on the major trends."
"How long have you been back?" he asks, curious to know more about what Nathan's been through.
Nathan's back stiffens. "Almost five years," he says without any elaboration, the tone of his voice is darker.
Jack knows he's probably pushing it but he has to ask anyway. "What was it like? Coming back?"
Nathan's shoulders slump a little then he turns to look at Jack for a moment, like he's trying to decide whether or not to open up. Jack gives him his best 'pretty please' face and Nathan rolls his eyes. He looks away and distantly says, "Painful," before turning back to the stove.
"What do you mean?" Jack asks.
Nathan sighs, frustrated. "I mean it was painful."
"Yeah but how?" Jack pushes.
"Dammit Carter, I don't want to talk about it," Nathan says, slamming the spatula, his hand coming down the hot sonic burner. "Fuck," he yells, dropping the spatula and shaking his hand.
Jack hurries to him, "Here," he takes Nathan's hand and puts it under cold water. "Sorry," Jack says. He rubs the palm of Nathan's hand with his thumb, trying to sooth him. "It's just that… I miss talking to you. You know?"
"Yeah, I know," Nathan says, agitated. "You have no idea."
"Then talk to me."
"What do you want me to say?" Nathan spits out.
"I don't know," Jack replies. "Whatever you want."
"I think I've made it perfectly clear I don't want to discuss this but you can't seem to get it through your thick skull."
Nathan's angry and Jack knows he's gone too far but he can't seem to shut his mouth. "Why won't you just tell me?"
"Fine. You want to know what it was like?" Nathan's voice rises. "You want to hear that my body had to rebuilt itself and the pain was excruciating? Or that that wasn't nearly as bad as spending fifty fucking years in complete solitude. That I hate being alone but at the same time I can't stand to be around people because they're too fucking loud? Or how about the fact that I went fucking insane and spent my first two years back out of my mind?" He pulls his hand away from Jack's, "Is that what you want to know?" He doesn't wait for Jack to say anything and storms out of the cottage, the door slamming behind him.
Jack just stands there, in shock, and feels like a complete ass. That isn't what he expected to hear. He knew what Nathan went through wasn't a walk in the park but he honestly never thought about how bad it actually was for him. If he and Nathan's positions were switched, he wouldn't want to talk about it either.
"Fuck Jack," he says to the empty room. "You're an idiot."
He walks out the door onto the porch, not knowing what to say but only that he needs to find Nathan and make things better, if he can at all.
Through the morning fog, he can see Nathan standing by the lake. Jack takes a deep breath, praying Nathan will forgive him, and walks across the driveway to him.
He stops beside Nathan and looks out over the calm lake. It's beautiful and peaceful. He can see why Nathan would want to live here now. It's strange, though, because Nathan used to talk about missing the excitement and movement of city life. He never thought Nathan Stark would chose to live in the middle of nowhere. He supposes neither of them had a choice in how their lives turned out.
"I'm sorry," he says simply, thinking the best thing he can do is to be straightforward. Nathan doesn't respond. "What can I do?" Jack asks.
There's a pause and Jack's not sure if he should try another tactic. Begging, perhaps. He's starting to really worry that he's fucked up too much this time when Nathan speaks.
"Nothing," he says.
"Do you want me to leave?" Please say no, Jack thinks.
"No," Nathan replies and Jack breathes again. Nathan turns to face him, his sorrow showing through his eyes. Jack hates to see him in pain. "I never want you to leave."
"I never will," Jack promises, pulling Nathan to him.
Nathan rests his forehead against Jack's and whispers, "I'm so fucked up now."
Jack can't help his grin, "Because you were a barrel of sunshine before."
Nathan laughs, his big smile lighting his dark features. "And you're an asshole so I guess we're even."
"I really am sorry." Jack hopes he can make things right again. He's already lost too much and losing Nathan because of his big mouth isn't something he can handle. "I promise I won't push the subject anymore. Truce?"
Nathan nods and Jack takes his forgiveness as an invitation. He puts his hand on the back of Nathan's neck and kisses him, and he can feel Nathan relax. While he knows things aren't perfect and never can be, Jack thinks maybe they can at least get better. They're together again when all logic says they shouldn't be.
"What do we do now?" Jack asks as they separate and start walking back to the cottage.
"I don't know," Nathan replies. "I didn't plan past defrosting you."
Jack smiles. "Why don't we start by going into town for breakfast?"
Nathan looks leery, "I don't-" he starts but Jack interrupts him.
"I know, I know. You don't like crowds, but I'm with you now." Jack grins, "I'll threaten anyone who talks above an inside voice."
Nathan smiles, "Still have some Sheriff left in you, I see."
"Some things never change." Jack says, referring to himself and Nathan's Beamer as they pass it. He nods to the BMW. "It doesn't even look futuristic!"
Nathan scrutinizes him for a second. "You didn't think we would all be driving hover cars like in Back to the Future, did you?" Jack lights up and Nathan adds mumbles, "Oh my God."
"What?" Jack whines. "Like it's not possible?"
The End.